Comments on: Remembering A Painful Childhood Experience – And Trying To Apply What It Means http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/ Financial talk for the rest of us Sat, 16 Feb 2013 01:14:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: deRuiter http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930677 deRuiter Sun, 14 Nov 2010 12:04:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930677 Sad story! Think of the lessons learned! Keep your mouth shut if you have some money and want to hang onto it. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Use an insured savings account. if every time you collected a truck load, you and Dad had taken the cans to the scrapper, and put the money in a savings account, you could not possibly have lost more than 1/5 of the money by blabbing to the relative. Lock up your valuables. That’s three important lessons which are to be learned from this story.

]]> By: kristine http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930633 kristine Sat, 13 Nov 2010 19:17:23 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930633 I had a similar experience, but with my kids. Their dad (my ex) broke their toy ATM saving machines, and stole all their money from them. Even stopped by one day at my house to try and “borrow” the dollar bills from his son’s 5 year old birthday cards. They are now teens, and their dad tries to borrow money from them all the time. (They get an allowance from me, and have birthday money). We opened saving accounts for the kids that now require my signature and a password that only I know (not even the kids) to take their money out. This way, I know their dad will not bully them into withdrawing for him. My kids have become self- defensive spendthrifts- spending their money as they get it so their dad can’t “borrow” it. Their dad is excited that my daughter will likely go to MIT, so she will make enough to “start paying him back for all he has done for her.” So very sad. All the relatives know now to give them things, or giftcards… never cash. My job is to teach them how to say no to a bully that is also the fun dad they love.

]]> By: Karen http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930624 Karen Sat, 13 Nov 2010 16:22:03 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930624 Whoa — all I’ve got to say is your cousin needs his a** kicked. What a lowlife turd!

]]> By: Amanda http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930620 Amanda Sat, 13 Nov 2010 15:53:51 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-930620 Just found this in the time machine. Adult or child, no one deserves to go through that. I’m sorry that happened to you.

]]> By: Tiffany http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-920726 Tiffany Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:54:54 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-920726 I read your story and it reminds me of my hardship now. My mother gave me to my grandparents to adopt when I was six. having a young mother who ave birth to me at 17 was hard on her, but now since she gave me up to go have fun, I’ve realized she acts like a child. She said she would take my car to a good mechanic, it was my first car and a girl had stolen my keys when I was asleep and went for a joy ride and had sex in the back of my car. Well anyways my mother took it to the mechanic and took it out without me knowing. Which he is illegal since the car was completely in my name and she was no longer my legal mother. She totalled it and I didn’t have coverage to fix it so now nearly 2 years later I am still without a car. I’m nearly 20 and I can’t even get into school. My adopted daddy recently passed away and I had money saved, and was going to give my grandma $800 to help pay for the funeral and rent. It was safely hidden in key locked room, well my mother broke in while her bf pretended to have a seizure, she stole it. She also had stolen checks and forged them. I pressed charges on the car and my bank account but the cops here could careless because she was once my mother, even though legally not anymore. So now I am $8,520 in the hole, that I have to pay back, and THEN I can start saving for school and a new car. She’s ruined my credit, she ran off with my bf’s rental car and ruined hi credit because he didn’t have the money to pay for it, and because she took the keys he was liable. She’ ruined my life and my trust. Now she calls me and still asks for help. I will never get my money nor my life back and it’s a struggle every day. I can’t even afford food some days.

]]> By: Esther Ziol http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-775136 Esther Ziol Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:17:05 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-775136 I’d just bet that cousin ended up in jail, or at least had a bad life. Just my wishful thinking?

]]> By: Terry http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-730016 Terry Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:37:37 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-730016 I hope your dad whooped his ass. I would have if someone in my family did this to one of my daughters. I would not be able to help myself. Why is it family thinks they are entitled to what others in the family have?

]]> By: Aaron http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716758 Aaron Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:23:58 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716758 I’ve heard that thermite will burn through an engine block in about 20 seconds. It would have been a shame if someone made some and ruined your cousin’s motorcycle.

Seriously — where is your cousin at now? My schadenfreude desperately wants to hear that his indiscretions have left him in massive debt or something. Did he invest in Madoff’s ponzi scheme or buy Enron stock or anything?

]]> By: BT http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716275 BT Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:03:02 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716275 What a terrible story! I can’t believe someone would steal from a child like that! It reminds me of the time I returned home from college to find that my mother had raided my custodial savings account, which held all the savings from my part-time jobs during high school and full-time summer jobs. Later, my parents took jewelry from my grandfather and gave it to an auction house. When he told them he wanted to give it to me as a wedding present, they didn’t admit the crime, but asked If I’d prefer the jewelry or proceeds from the sale thereof. If I’d said I wanted the money, no one would have found out. It’s important to know who you can trust. Unfortunately, family is often in a position to steal — they know where everything is *kept*.

]]> By: B.T. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716213 B.T. Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:23:21 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716213 What a terrible thing to have happened to you! I had a similar experience when I returned from college one year, and asked to access the money I’d saved from the part-time and summer work I did in high school. My mother explained to me that she’d emptied the account, without telling me, to cover my college expenses. It really wouldn’t have been a problem if she’d asked in advance. Later, she and my father took jewelry from my grandfather. When he gave it to me as a wedding present — not knowing it was stolen — they had to confess. It’s important to know who you can trust.

]]> By: Ouida Vincent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716118 Ouida Vincent Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:35:00 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716118 This is a very painful story and one that I can relate to. Years ago when I was a kid, a friend of ours decided to store his bike in our back yard. We lived in a Town home so our back yard was really just a fenced in area the size of a desk. The bike was stolen. It was the late 70′s and I had a habit of saving. I had money in a coffee can that I was foolish enough to tell my friend about. He wanted the money because he said it was my fault that his bike was stolen. Fortunately my mother intervened and I kept my money, but the feeling of people wanting what I have never quite went away. Personal finance and personal development literature is replete with the following advice: be careful whom you confide your goals and dreams in and because litigation is one of the top 3 ways Americans list as a way to get ahead (winning the lotto is still number 1) put a legal fortress around your assets. But worry and fear is no way to live so do what you can to protect yourself and move on.

]]> By: Mel http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716102 Mel Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:19:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-716102 This reminds me of my own theft story. I was in a movie when I was 7 years old, and was paid quite well for it. The money went straight into my bank account (along with $5 a week through school banking – a BRILLIANT initiative, but another story).

I had 2 ‘friends’ in the same street and at about age 10, we all got cashflow cards. Without thinking, we shared our pin numbers. I was never very careful with my card, and would go for months without knowing where it was or thinking about it. A long time later, I went to the bank with my mother to withdraw for my first big trip on my own, to visit my grandfather. The account was empty. (And the bank teller accused me of taking it without telling my mum – luckily she had more trust in me than that). Looking at the statements, it seems that one of my ‘friends’ had given herself a $20 weekly allowance over about a year and a half – about $1700, gone.

That experience definitely made me a lot more aware of trusting people with my money – whether access to it or lending/giving it, and most importantly it taught me a lesson I desperately needed: to know where my card/money/wallet is! I have lost a wallet a few times since, but usually in very out-of-the-ordinary circumstances.

]]> By: Damester http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715793 Damester Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:00:36 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715793 A painful story Trent. It’s amazing that your father didn’t go after the cousin. I know someone in my family would have, given those circumstances. Especially as he did admit it.

There are many ways to get “justice.” I’m not so enlightened as to believe in waiting for karma. Because the fact is, it doesn’t usually offset the damage (can you say Bernie Madoff?)done by thieves and crooks.

I think there are times when people have to be made to pay for what they do. Where the regular judicial system fails to fix things.

One way or the other.

Sadly, too many people are still far too trusting with friends and family. One can’t live life seeing everyone as a potential thief, but you do have to be aware that human nature is such that all kinds of people will steal what they can. We see this in business all the time, where ideas, reputations, promotions and such are “stolen” by unscrupulous types whose primary focus is getting what they want.

What’s often very interesting is that the people who take something don’t need it or could afford it on their own. The stereotype in society and business (where having bad credit often means you can’t even get a job!)is that poor people are the thieves or potential thieves, the ones you gotta “watch out for”.

Where I grew up, there were lots of rich kids. You know who shoplifted? The rich kids. Who had huge allowances and could have afforded anything.

We “poor” kids would never dream of stealing anything. From anyone, let alone friends or family. (No matter how much I wanted something it simply never occurred to me to steal it. I guess that Catholic School education and those years with the nuns had some good ruboff!)

]]> By: Chillyrodent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715449 Chillyrodent Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:50:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715449 What a low-life loser that cousin was. This story should end and today I have a successful blog and financial security, and my cousin still steals cans for a living. That’s how it SHOULD end.

]]> By: Jaden http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715328 Jaden Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:43:43 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715328 Makes me want to cry. Or punch him. One of the two. Or both. Maybe cry WHILE punching him??!

I’m glad you were able to finally pull some lessons out of it… Although honestly, I just wish it had never happened to you in the first place.

]]> By: Heather http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715220 Heather Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:44:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-715220 Last year my dad was dying and that led me to reconnect to my much younger step-sister (26 yearls old). I invited her to stay with us and during that time my husband payed my daughter $100 that she had earned. He did it publicaly as a way to honor her for her hard work.

She ran to her room and brought down her little tin piggy bank and put it in with her other money that she’d saved since baby-hood. Birthday, Christmas and chore money. She’s twelve, so it added up and was about $150.

When my “sister” left so did the money. My daughter was devestated. It never occured to us that we would have to be secretive in front of a relative.

]]> By: Chris http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-573133 Chris Sun, 15 Mar 2009 03:53:21 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-573133 This is a heartbreaking story…makes me want to beat the ever loving shit out of your cousin. That is horribly upsetting that someone would do that to a kid, let alone a kid in their own family.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-465761 Lisa Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:55:19 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-465761 I believe in the saying “what goes around, comes around”. I have had the experience of seeing that happen to someone who wronged me. However, by the time it happened I had given it to God and let go of being angry – just felt pity for that person.

What happened to that cousin? Has he perhaps gotten back some of what he gave out?

]]> By: Jan http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-432891 Jan Sun, 07 Dec 2008 04:25:10 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-432891 Everyone has a story is what I have been told. It seems worst to me when it happens to a child. My story begins when I was 15 I had managed to save $10K from babysitting and odd jobs, lots of hard work. I met a boy he found out I had this money but did not lead on about it. We were married when I turned 19 he got my money put in his name and after that I never saw a penny of any money I made. I will be 50 soon. I use my lesson to try to teach other young girls. Keep your cash! I have 190K worth of debt from that marriage and zero dollars and zero cents and no way to earn any real money and my health is failing.

]]> By: Margot http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-363911 Margot Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:52:58 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2006/11/08/remembering-a-painful-childhood-experience-and-trying-to-apply-what-it-means/#comment-363911 My friend just pointed me to you today and I look forward to catching up and doing more about my flailing financial security. However I was sidetracked by comments #30 and #33 (Oh SNAP HappyGirl) and checked out Cheryl’s site and it seems she has shut it down because of… wait for it… so many negative comments from nasty people. Yes #9, what goes around comes around. Good punctuation to this story. Also, it may not have seemed special to be hunting, fishing and growing vegetables in order to eat, but as a city girl I’m envious of you. In a good way :)

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