Comments on: The Frugal Wedding Registry: Wedding Gift Ideas To Help Put That Special Couple On A Sound Financial Path

By: beth

beth — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:21:22 +0000

how can engaged couples communicate their desire for gift alternatives? Should the bridesmaids or groomsmen or wedding planner or other family member be the ones to say just give “cash gifts” for honeymoon or savings or charitable giving in their honor?

By: carraway

carraway — Sat, 12 May 2007 14:30:18 +0000

need help desperately, nephew(sp) is getting married soon. first for him (43) second for her;
gift ideas…help

By: domestika

domestika — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:57:38 +0000

Love the list! And I’ve got one to add:

For the the couple just starting out — or for a young’un setting up in his/her first apartment — a small toolbox filled with the basic absolutely-essential tools for domestic survival: hammer, screwdriver set, tape measure, adjustable wrench, roll of duct tape…

Not particularly glamorous as gifts go, but there always comes a day when it’s deeply appreciated!

By: 1five9

1five9 — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:19:24 +0000

As a recently married person, I have to say that one of the nicest things you can do for an engaged couple is to keep expectations low about the wedding itself: don’t assume the wedding will be big (or that you will be invited); don’t count on a full bar; don’t ask the bride where she got her dress.

My guest list kept growing and the budget kept growing as people would casually mention that they couldn’t wait to come, couldn’t wait to have a martini, couldn’t wait to dance, etc.

I know my friends would be horrified to think that they put some pressure on me, but I wanted my guests to be happy. So on a few occasions, I upped the amount we spent on our guests to make sure it was what they were expecting.

So, when you find out someone is engaged, offer hearty congratulations about the upcoming marriage. Don’t offer your thoughts about a perfect wedding.

P.S. As I read this, I hope it doesn’t sound too negative. Our wedding was fabulous…but probably could have been so on a few less dollars!

By: Ruth

Ruth — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 16:46:38 +0000

I love How to Cook Everything. It’s a great cookbook!

By: Toby

Toby — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:28:11 +0000

OR…you can do what my Sister-in-law did. Register for all sorts of un-godly expensive things that you plan to return for cash.

Example: Set of two crystal Pinot Noir wine glasses (which are oh-so-different than the Cabernet ones they also registered for) for $99! Yes, that is not a typo, $99! I think they asked for 4 sets of each for about 4 or 5 different types of wine plus cognac and port.

That’s several *thousand* in glassware! That’s pretty frugal….right?

Toby

By: Tim

Tim — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:28:19 +0000

I’m a big fan of the asian gift: cash in a red envelope.

By: zen

zen — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:16:21 +0000

Excellent tips – I’ll be using this for my cousin-in-laws upcoming marriage.

By: kev

kev — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:53:55 +0000

My brother got married the weekend before last. These are excellent suggestions (although, about two weeks too late to help me in my gift-choosing!).

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:38:14 +0000

If you are getting married, you can do what my husband and I did. We asked for no gifts (and encouraged people to donate to their favorite cause if they wanted to honor our wedding).

This decision is not for everyone. I will share how we came to choose it.

First, we considered how much we needed. We really did not need that much. Both of us had been living outside of the parental home for a couple years so we had all the basic necessities. We also knew that in our current apartment we did not have room for things like nice dishes that we would use only once or twice a year. We would either have to store them somewhere or get rid of our old (perfectly servicable) dishes.

Next, we considered how many gifts we would need to get enough on our registry. The average wedding has about 150 guests (or so random web pages told me when I was planning one). Assuming a mix of couples and families, about 50 gifts is probably a reasonable number to plan for. Now, you have to make sure that there are enough gifts for people to be able to choose something they want to get you, so your registry should have at least 60 gifts.

Look at that! Just thinking about wedding gifts pulls you out of the frugal mind set. Just like you should not hang out with spendy friends if you want to be frugal, you probably should not spend hours and hours trying to find things you want but do not need to fill up your registry.

Also consider what this does to your guests. Guests will feel obligated to get you gifts unless you tell them not to (and some will get gifts even then. We just let them; no point in forcing a conflict). This sense of obligation is responsible for billions of dollars in consumer spending (I have heard about $20 billion, again from some random website when I was planning my wedding). By having a registry full of things you do not need and probably will not use, you are encouraging your closest friends and family to spend.

A “no gifts please” wedding will not appeal to everyone. If you are just getting started, you really do need things, and it is good to let those people willing to help do so. However, if you that between you and your spouse you have what you need, consider asking for no gifts.

By: MoneyChangesThings

MoneyChangesThings — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:26:34 +0000

You’ve made some great suggestions. I am weary of the hugely detailed bridal registries couples put up on their websites. They are practical but they really send the message that giftgivers are idiots and couldn’t possibly pick a nice gift.
Dear friends thoughtfully gave us a membership to a museum for a wedding gift. We rarely had time to go, but whenever we had time, we felt like we OUGHT to go there, and it got oppressive pretty quickly!
We’ve been to a lot of second (and some third!) wedding where couples asked folks to make donations to their favorite charities. that always warms my heart.

By: SJ

SJ — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:35:50 +0000

A great gift for those who “have it all” is a gift certificate for movies, or dinner at a nice restaurant, or for something bigger (and this is what we did for my brother-in-law) a small B&B or inn. We wanted to be more specific than cash, but we knew they had plenty of “stuff” – these gifts focus more on experience (but not necessarily frugality).

I will also second the Netflix idea as a good baby gift for new parents (no babysitter needed!).

By: Grant Boston

Grant Boston — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 23:23:03 +0000

The problem with what to give gets even harder as the couple get older or are re-marrying. We went to a wedding this weekend of an older couple and they had asked for contributions to the honeymoon. Another good gift is your time – make a “promissary note” to take the wedding photos, help paint the house or other renovation skills. This is not only frugal but it builds the friendship.

On another tack, some people believe that giving knives is very bad luck as it signifies an intent to sever the relationship!

By: Eric

Eric — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 22:30:16 +0000

My fiancee had her wedding shower on Saturday. Almost everything that we got we already had and it seemed like such a waste. I would have loved it if some people gave us some money to help with a down payment on a house but I guess people like to give something more “tangible”. Of course, in reality, what is more tangible than a house?

We did get a nice KitchenAid mixer that I have had my eye on for about two years now so it wasn’t all for nothing…