But what’s done is done…. my aim now (I’m in my thirties) is to somehow get into an area that truly inspires me. It’s the only way to enjoy your work, and the only way you’ll ever be truly “successful”.

I finally realized all I ever REALLY wanted to do was be a mother and homemaker one day when my daughter asked me what I wanted to be when I was a kid. It just finally clicked. I know that by most people’s standards that is not a “job”. I am now 43 and my two children are nearly grown. When I look back at what I truely enjoyed, what gave me ulitmate joy, it was keeping my house and raising my children. In today’s world that is not enough. That is not the “correct answer”. At 43 I wish I had been true to myself and married a man who shared the same values. I now know that there are a few men out there who really do think that’s OK. I would have had 10 children and been delightfully happy cleaning and raising children. Exhausted, but happy and fulfilled.

Now I’ve worked for 20 odd years at a profession that I hate. While I was younger I kept thinking that I’d eventually “find” something better. Now I tell myself that in four years my youngest will graduate from Christian school and I will be in a better financial position to persue “something” that will give me fulfillment, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s too late and if I’m just too old to start over. College is expensive too even though I’ve impressed upon my children that they need to be resposible for a large portion of the financial commitment of college.

So for now I’m frantically searching for what to do with the second half of my life since I can’t go back and go with my first choice.

I also think at 18 and after 13 years of school time off helps .. Its why so many fail out and take 5-6 years to graduate anyway.

Great post!!

Anyhow, I think the realities of cost of living inflation and global competition for good jobs is going to make this kind of indulgence more rare.

I’ve now been with a large corporation for 20 years, 13 years in mgmt. I’ve stayed in a very well paying job that eats at me largely to enable my wife to stay home and support her and our daughter. There are corporate benefits to be sure, but the family benefits are more important. I have discovered a couple of things of late:
1) I was happier at a lower-level in the corp, even making less (but still good) money. People need to have the insight and guts to turn down promotions.
2) If I had it to do over again, I would likely go into nursing. I really care for people (part of why I am in mgmt – trying to mitigate corporate anti-personnel policies) but would like to have a greater impact.

Great column Trent. Thanks.

Penelope

Having been a consistent reader of your site, I know how much you care about your family. However, I don’t think this sentence should be trivialized.

If you had really set out on your own after high school, would you have ever met your wife? This just illustrates how often what you once viewed as a mistake, or a regret, has substantially changed your life for the better.

I often look back on my life and realize that some of the supposed “boneheaded” moves I had made were actually some of the best decisions of my life. Not because the decisions were actually any good, but because they led me down a path I may never have tread.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say. I obviously don’t think that making poor decisions on purpose is a good thing. I just think that regretting those decisions may be shortsighted and a premature judgment. Every decision has made you who you are today. From your plunge into college, to your financial meltdown. Whose to say that the Simple Dollar would exist in that alternate reality? And how many of us have been affected now by your posts?

I realize this isn’t really the point of your post, but it’s just where my mind went when I hit that sentence…

Keep up the great work, Trent.

I officially resigned from my lucrative engineering job yesterday. Two more weeks, and then I embark (for a second time) on the “starting my own business” adventure.

I will stay in the black if I’m careful and frugal, but it will take a real effort. In the worst case, I’ll just get a “real” job again, but maybe this time I can stick with my dream.

Life is too short to be stuck in a job that’s sucking your soul out of you. I would choose job satisfaction over money. In my case I would not have considered careers earning under a certain (modest!) amount, but if a person had a true calling I can see why they would choose to make even less. For example, artists. Or missionaries. Anyone who truly feels there is something they are “meant” to do. Money can’t buy that feeling. If I knew of something I was meant to do, I would do it in a heartbeat. As it stands, I choose to stay in a career which I find challenging and fulfilling and which I believe makes a positive contribution to society.

I think that you should pick something that interests you and take the plunge right out of high school. The key is that if you’re not sure about your path, to pick something that you can accomplish within a shorter time frame. For example, instead of going straight to university and taking a bunch of random arts courses, I did a two-year community college diploma program that taught me concrete editing and writing skills. I chose that field based on my interests and abilities, and while I would probably pick something different now, it has at least armed me with a set of versatile skills that I can apply in a variety of jobs.

What I do now is very different from what I trained for in college, but I still find the lessons I learned then valuable. Community college was much less expensive than university, and my diploma is transferable into several university-level BA programs, should I wish to upgrade my education.

It depends on your personality. I have a hard time making decisions, because I tend to overthink things. I needed to stop thinking and worrying and just get started, or I was in danger of treading water. I’ve enjoyed working, and I feel good about the possibilities for my career.

If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be to be less afraid to act. While the choices you make early in your career do shape what comes later, the path is much more plastic than I had assumed in high school. If you have a calling, great. If you don’t, pick something you like now and get started on that, whether it’s working, volunteering, travel or some combination of things.

The adage goes — do what you love and the money will follow. But really — how many of us know specicifically which passion or interest of ours is the one to follow?

I would have loved to take a year off to figure out who I was and what I wanted, but I did not have the option… It is a nice idea –but it isn’t practical for many people. Although I agree that just continuing from high school to college without regard to what is the true calling isn’t a good idea either.

Because my frustrations seem to be shared with others, I am going to blog about my thoughts and see if I have an epiphany…

I think the true problem lies in the primary education system. They don’t focus on helping kids find out what they want to do. They just act as college prep. schools. I almost think higher education is a scam. Kids would be better off if they knew how to manage money and do their taxes by the time they graduated high school than by having a high SAT score so they can waste tens of thousands of dollars on a liberal arts degree that has no practical application in the working world.

J, don’t feel bad for not looking past the job part. When you’re a kid, anything beyond that is inconceivable. You need a level of maturity/experience to get to the stage Trent’s talking about anyway.

For my part, as I hit thirty I’ve had a decade of a corporate career that (guess what) I hate. I’m not gonna feel bad though, I’m extremely well paid and my career has gifted me savings, travel opportunities, communication skills and no (non-mortgage) debt.

I hope to get a sense of my “true north” soon, and enjoy your personal development pieces a lot, Trent.