Comments on: Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People

By: Bruno

Bruno — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 03:26:36 +0000

I read this book long ago but have issues with the manipulative aspects of his advice. I know I’d hate to find out someone who seemed interested in me only did so because they want to “win” at the game of life.

One cannot make themself “genuinely interested” in something someone else is talking about. You either are or are not. Carnegie gave himself an ethical “out” by including this advice. This is a book on how to make people like you by feigning liking them. It works. And there’s nothing wrong with smiling, being polite, and caring about others so they sense that. But don’t kid yourself. Business is about manipulation.

Doubt it? Tell some business “friend” you do business with you won’t be using his firm anymore and see how long the friendship lasts after that. Leave a business you had friends at and see how much you see of them after that. Doubly so if you were previously their superior.

By: Heather

Heather — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 19:28:48 +0000

I’ve been really struggling with this book so I thought I’d look it up on your site Trent knowing you would have a review with highlights.

This book has come highly recommended in the past as well but every time I try to pick it up I find the stories of Lincoln and Rockafeller and the woman who got a job with the bank make it difficult for me to stay engaged.

The lessons are good but I may be better off for the Cliff Notes version!

By: Des

Des — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:55:52 +0000

I see you’ve done this, “7 Habits”, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and “the Secret”. Is there any others I’ve missed, and will you be doing other famous self-help works like “Think and Grow Rich” in future?

By: Dale

Dale — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:30:24 +0000

I’m a big fan of Carnegie’s work. Thanks for your great post, I follow your points when I listen to the audio version.

By: Vivek Raj Karki

Vivek Raj Karki — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 09:48:39 +0000

i got this book as a reward for standing first in art compitetion in my college and this book has help me stand firt among friends and my society. this book has helped not only to built positive thinkig but also to win others by appling the suggestions of the book in my life. i think every teenagers of my country needs to read this book, i am thankful to the writer and the college without whoom i would have miss this golden opurtunity to develop myself.

By: contentgrrl

contentgrrl — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:05:40 +0000

I started out in college as a journalist, so I usually do well if I have a reason to chat people up, like what’s your take on what’s going on here, and can I get you on tape? Or when I genuinely have a question about what I overhear them saying.

But I’m still most definitely an introvert. Thanks for this great synopsis, Trent!

By: A Tentative Personal Finance Blog

A Tentative Personal Finance Blog — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:29:05 +0000

This might be a great book to pick up since I’ve just been charged with a new group of students.

By: 60 in 3

60 in 3 — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:18:21 +0000

Thanks for the review Trent. This has been one of my favorite books since I first read it a couple of years back. It’s really changed how I deal with friends and coworkers.

Jason, I thought the same until I started applying some of the things I learned in this book. Guess what, when I befriended my peers and gave them positive reviews and feedback, they did the same for me.

Gal

By: Trent

Trent — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:44:32 +0000

I’m pretty introverted, especially in a place with new people. I have to consciously decide to talk to people and often I’m trying to think of ways to be social.

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:51:44 +0000

Gentleman that no doubt Carnegie was, some of his modes are out dated and do not take in to account.

As a consultant for BigCo a getting a successful year end review relies heavily on getting god feeback from peers.

Regretfully this is not the case. It this because I’m rude and incompetent ? Quite probably !! However the feedback I have from clients usually says otherwise.

It’s because I like many others are in a ruthlessthy competitive environment – and people are reluctant to provide feed back that might give me some advantage ahead of them.

Sad huh ?

By: Patrick

Patrick — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 13:25:17 +0000

Thanks, Trent, I was going to review this on my site next week! I think I’ll wait a couple months and give a personalized review. :)

This is a great book and has a lot of valuable advice for people about how to make and keep relationships, and how to succeed in business.

This book is required reading in a lot of MBA courses, and there is a good reason for it. This book stresses relationships and meeting customer’s and other’s needs. This is a great book for learning how to better deal with interpersonal and professional relationships, and I recommend it.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 07:01:39 +0000

I requested How to Win Friends and Influence People off of PaperBackSwap.com a few days ago after I read your post about how it impacted your life. I’m looking forward to getting my copy even more after this review–I’m a huge introvert and it looks like implementing the ideas in the book will be great for me. Thank you for posting about it!

By: David

David — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 06:59:33 +0000

Thanks Steve for the recommendation for The Introvert Advantage, I’m going to have to check this out for myself! And this is an excellent review, I need to pick up How to Win Friends again, my dad recommended it to me a long time ago and he or I still have a copy I believe, but I never read it cover to cover.

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:36:26 +0000

Nice review!
I loved this book the first time I read it. I am not sure if I have implemented most of the stuff I read. I browse it every so often. Like my boss says, if you read it enough times, you will believe it, and belief precedes action…
By the way, a couple of weeks ago I was researching something and I had to look for this book online. While doing that, I ended up at your website… I still don’t understand how. But it was one of those nice-weird-thank-God-it-happened things.
For some reason, I never thought you were introverted. I was surprised to see it under Section 2,#4 & in your buy or don’t buy summary. I am introverted 90% of the time. It is encouraging to see how great you think and communicate – There is hope for us introverts. I wonder if I can suggest a book you may want to read: The Introvert Advantage, by Marti Olsen Larney. It made me accept my introversion years about 4 years ago.

By: Ryan Christensen

Ryan Christensen — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 00:37:48 +0000

Great review! I’ve been eying this book for some time, actually, and you might have just helped me with my decision. Thanks!