Maggie’s life seems unmanageable, but the fact that she reached out says that she is still trying. Above all, do not give up, Maggie. One of the things people with diabilities sometimes do is give in to their illness more than they have to. I have given in to mine at times, but I can assure you that the people I know who are most crippled by their depression, their physical illness of various kinds are those who spend too much time thinking about what they are missing and not enough about what they still have.

Finances included. Seeking out things to be grateful for, rather than looking solely at all the difficulties may open up your mind to opportunities you would not otherwise see! While you wrestle your IRA from your father, don’t forget to thank him for taking care of that for you (even if it chokes you) some day you may be TRULY grateful.

I wish you all the best as you look up and seek creative ways to cut your expenses, increase your income and pay down your debt.

As someone who has MS, I know that depression is common among MSers. Stress exacerbates (spelling!!) MS significantly. It seems to me that your number-one goal should be to reduce stress and maintain health. Fortunately, getting in a better place financially will help you be less stressed.

You can also contact your local MS society; they might have some ideas or help available. Some MS meds are available at no cost to people who can’t afford them.

You are in a rough spot, but it will get better. Really!

On the second job bit, I believe her! If she has MS, then no. There really isn’t an appropriate second job (assuming of course that her current is a 9-5)

I can’t think of any second job I’ve had that wouldn’t kill her, literally. She has MS, she cannot afford to stand on her feet for 9 hours solid doing even menial labor. This cuts out retail and waitressing (food service period!), everything but really temp agencies. And as aformentioned, her job probably has her work 9-to-5. So before you just say, yes you CAN get a second job, why not say instead, oh, here’s an industry that lets you sit down, that you might not have thought of? ‘Cause I’m with her and can’t think of any.

My own thoughts:
I don’t know if she CAN take public transportation. (New York isn’t exactly Handicapped friendly.) If she cannot, she may NEED the car; if that’s the case, she may be able to write off part of the expense? She also may want to drive as long as she can, despite the expense, if it’s one of her remaining shreds of her former life.
Is she itemizing her taxes? Every medical expense is a write-off. Prescriptions, COBRA, co-pays- write ‘em off. Does she need special shoes? Get a prescription and write them off. And so on.
At $1100/month, is it possible that she already HAS a room mate that isn’t mentioned in her letter? If she has a friend who is an accountant, she may be able to get help there. I pay an accountant, and it’s worth it; last year, I got back more than twenty times what I paid; I would have had to pay taxes if I hadn’t itemized, and I have such a high percentage of expenses that I can’t do the taxes myself.
Getting another job may be physically impossible for her; I don’t know how severe her condition is. If she’s suffering from some of the more severe symptoms, including loss of cognitive function, she might not be able to get another job. That said, she might be able to do some work in another department, since she’s at a University, for extra money. (Is she allowed to take typing or editing from students? When I worked at a University, I was NOT – but I developed a reputation and have been called to do editing for people from other universities. I declare this income, but it’s a nice cushion.) She might also see if there are ongoing clinical trials that would make her more comfortable.

I’d recommend someone else as executor of her money, if she can’t do it herself. She shouldn’t be afraid to use her own money. Paying off the high interest cards, now, or at least paying them down, will lower her depression considerably.

For her condition: if it’s OK with her doctor (and it should be), she should see what kind of pool or gym facilities are available to employees. “Those patients who participated in an aerobic exercise program had better cardiovascular fitness, improved strength, better bladder and bowel function, less fatigue and depression, a more positive attitude, and increased participation in social activities. … Inactivity in people with or without MS can result in numerous risk factors associated with coronary heart disease. In addition, it can lead to weakness of muscles, decreased bone density with an increased risk of fracture, and shallow, inefficient breathing.” – from a University of Utah study of MS, published in 1996.

I looked online for resources for people surviving and beating MS, in New York City. She may be able to get some assistance and guidance from http://msaa.com – they have a help line if she needs to talk (under Programs and Services, then left sidebar – Offering Lifelines) and can go to http://msaa.com/regional.html to see what the New Jersey regional office can do for her, as far as services.

I hope that she can regain control of her own money and, then, her finances and her life. She’s overcome a huge obstacle by getting a great job in these trying times, and she’s going to have to work harder than her peers when she’s fighting with her body. She is down now, but Maggie sounds like she’s still got some fight left in her – and I wish her luck.

Simplicity is calming and helpful. Find a friend or someone that you can trust to talk about all that you have goin on, a sounding board if you will. This can be very important to keep you on track.

There is hope.

Follow your heart.

Also, I don’t think it would make sense to move to a cheaper part of the country. 60k is much less money in NYC compared to west Virginia. Salaries should be much higher in New York then In less expensive parts of the country.

Off topic for this thread, but on topic for this subject: clueless Eleanor from the other post should be reading this thread and taking some of the advice to heart.

If her food costs are $200/month in New York, I assure you she’s already cooking at home. When I was dirt poor, I fed myself and my boyfriend for $300/month, but it was serious work to keep our diet healthful and varied, and find money for a bit of meat occasionally. (Except for chicken legs. We ate a LOT of chicken legs. Chicken breasts, however, were a rare indulgence.)

“I think it’s pretty hilarious how recently people were furious that Trent suggested looking for cheaper housing in NYC and today everyone’s shocked that Maggie is throwing away $1100/mo on rent.”

Trent seemed to think it wasn’t difficult to find an apartment to share for $800 a month, people here are suggesting that she’ll pay about that much herself. That’s a big difference. I also don’t think that anyone who is familiar with New York thinks that $1100 a month is a ridiculous or extravagant amount to pay for rent – it’s well within the bounds of normal for a twentysomething professional, and she is going to have to make significant tradeoffs in terms of smaller space or fewer amenities in her neighborhood in order to find something cheaper.

First, she concludes that even if she gets a second job that it won’t be enough to pay her debt payments. That is ridiculously presumptuous and likely inaccurate, and it sounds like another excuse to avoid getting a second job. Lots of second jobs pay really good money — you can easily make over $1000 a month extra by waitressing or cleaning houses or working tons of other jobs only on the weekends or a few nights a week. And you can earn even more money by working overtime in some jobs, by using any of your current skills to do extra work as a consultant, etc. It’s absurd to conclude – before you even try – that there is not point to getting a second job. Given your current income level, it could double or triple the amount you are able to put to debt payments each month.

Second (and I know this will sound harsh to many), I have extensive professional experience with depression, and often the worst thing to do is to quit a job. Some people have serious clinical depression and this is necessary. For most people, quitting one’s job only makes the situation worse because it takes away something productive to do all day with your time and it throws the rest of your life into a tailspin (eg, your finances). And I have seen many, many people use mild depression as an excuse to quit work and act financially irresponsible.

Getting rid of the car will save far more than the gas and tolls money, it will save in parking costs and regular car maintenance costs which weren’t factored in and surely are considerable. Not to mention whatever she makes from selling the car!

Food can probably be dropped down too, but it takes a while to adjust to cooking at home and stocking the right groceries. It also takes a positive mindset to successfully cut food costs. I’m the kind of person who sees generic/store brands and thinks, “awesome, I’m getting the best price!” instead of thinking “How depressing, I can’t afford name brand.” Silly. It’s food. I can’t afford to get ripped off, is what I can’t afford. It’s very easy for cutting food costs to be overwhelming and depressing because it’s something you have to consider several times a day. Work on this gradually so you don’t overwhelm yourself.

I think the roommate suggestion is great, but I think it’s pretty hilarious how recently people were furious that Trent suggested looking for cheaper housing in NYC and today everyone’s shocked that Maggie is throwing away $1100/mo on rent.

And get rid of the car.

You’re easily looking at $600/month subtracted from your expenses.

Not true. If you’re really considering bankruptcy, your creditors are going to suddenly get much more willing to work with you. They’d much rather be paid back slowly, or paid back partially, than not be paid at all. A good credit counseling service can help you develop a payment plan that will get you back on your feet. Often there will be penalties – you’ll usually be paying the debt back over a longer period of time – but this is definitely something worth looking into.

As a general rule, look for a non-profit rather than a for-profit counseling service. Your HR department may have recommendations, but check them out with the Better Business Bureau.

“Know how bankruptcy works in your state.”

Actually, bankruptcy laws are subject to federal jurisdiction, which means they’re the same in every state.