Comments on: Fighting Despair And Keeping Focus On Being Debt Free

By: Cheap Like Me

Cheap Like Me — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 19:54:53 +0000

As much as possible, suggest the kids generate their own money for things they want — whether by working at jobs, babysitting, or selling off or trading their old stuff (via a yard sale, Craigslist or local ads). That’s the best way to learn to appreciate the value of a dollar.

Kids often want the newest and best … but if you can find a really good consignment or thrift store, sometimes you’d be surprised how far a dollar can stretch.

Most of all, try to repeat to yourself often enough that you can believe it that your kids likely have everything they need and more than many people: A home, a family, love, food on the table and clothes on their backs. We often gain new gratitude by reading about ‘the old days’ in books like Little House on the Prairie – where the kids got one tin cup of their own for Christmas and were over the moon with thankfulness.

By: FamilyFinanceBlog

FamilyFinanceBlog — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 19:31:37 +0000

Good suggestions, as always! I like the one about having a list of free things that make you happy. I think we’ll have to try that.

I also find frugality to be a fun game. My wife not as much, but she has her moments. We’re both interested to see how we raise our kids (baby due in August!)

By: Rob in Madrid

Rob in Madrid — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:01:42 +0000

Make Frugality a game!

Absoulutly.

My wife and I are shooting for our first ever credit card free holiday and rather than being discourage about not being able to spend money I make it a game to see if I can save more than the previous week. The thought of not having to come back to CC bills after holidays is a huge motivating factor. I remind myself that when I tempted to eat out for lunch that 4€ Starbucks sandwich is money that could go towards holidays I decide I don’t mind “brown bagging it”.

Also to prevent us from over spending on holidays we’ve set out a budget and more importantly a list of things we want to bring back with us. this will help prevent us from “going nuts” at Walmart and the mall. I made my budget generous to cover everything and again I’ll make it a challenge to see how much I can come in under budget.

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:11:13 +0000

Another idea is to get the kids actively involved in saving money – they can assist with some of the more time-dependent but simple tasks – clipping coupons, scanning the grocery ads for sale items, helping to shop, put away groceries, prepar home-made meals for the week, make their own lunches for school, etc.

When they are old enough, they can “run” these frugal activities on their own. When I was a teenager, I was “in charge” of the coupons – and I received a 1/3 cut of the coupon savings for my own fun money.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:59:59 +0000

Great post. We have included the kids in our forward quest to be debt free and to own our own home instead of renting. But now even the kids are becoming weary. Our 12 year old states that he’s skeptical that we will ever get a house before he is in high school. It’s hard to convince him that the slow steady race will be the victorious way.

By: The Digerati Life

The Digerati Life — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:48:06 +0000

I agree wholeheartedly with Steve Olson. Our plan of attack whenever we feel we’re backed into a corner with feeling that we “just don’t have enough” for something we’re needing (or wanting) is to try to find a way to make more to cover our expenses. However, my heart goes out to people who feel despair in this capacity as I can imagine how tough it is to juggle life’s responsibilities once kids are growing up. This is the reason we delayed having kids until we felt completely secure about our finances — but these too have its tradeoffs…

By: Dough Roller

Dough Roller — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:41:14 +0000

One of the hardest things for me is denying my kids something they want when they´ve run out of money. But if I let them spend more money than they have, I´m teaching them to live beyond their means, which is a habit they´ll regret later in life. And this goes to the question Trent addressed of how not to lose focus. Getting and staying out of debt requires us to deny ourselves short term wants for long term gains, and that´s very difficult. But once you get started and see the positive results, staying focused will get easier.

By: Nick in Iraq

Nick in Iraq — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:34:48 +0000

I also have to chime in and say great post. My parents fought a lot about money. It sheltered me from learning about money until I got older and had to make mistakes. Get your kids involved early and they will thank you. Here is the post I wrote about my parents having financial trouble:

http://sloaninvestments.blogspot.com/2007/07/family-finances.html

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:24:55 +0000

Great ideas! When I was younger, my parents had some money troubles and they let us know. We were more aware of what we wanted and asked for.

Also, to help teach the kids, provide them with a small allowance (if you can afford it) to show them how budgeting works, too. When they ask for something, remind them that they have an allowance and if they want something that’s not really necessary, they have to save up for it.

By: Brip Blap

Brip Blap — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 10:33:19 +0000

I think in America we’ve grown too accustomed to thinking that the kids need to be protected from the outside world as much as possible, unfortunately due to the fact that the outside world – murders, wars, etc. – is so grim. But that doesn’t mean that your children need to be protected from family finances.

People are afraid to let their kids think that everything isn’t perfect. In the status-conscious area I live in, people are afraid to admit that “hey, I don’t see the need and can’t afford the latest gadget” for my kids. If I had a dollar for every parent of a teenager who’s told me “I HAD to get my kid an iPod” I would be as rich as Steve Jobs (which, I guess is why he’s as rich as he is, right??)

By: plonkee

plonkee — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:24:30 +0000

Absolutely get the kids involved, but try to avoid any feeling of despair with them. You want them to believe that its something that can, will and has to be done, not something that is ruining your lives.

By: Amber Yount

Amber Yount — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 01:11:11 +0000

Good ideas! It gets rough trying to climb out of the debt hole.

By: rxforfinance

rxforfinance — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 22:48:02 +0000

I have tried to explain it in how many working hours it takes to buy the items the kids want. When they ask me why mommy has to work I say, remember that Wii game? Well mom has to work 8 hours (after deductions) to pay for it. Going to McDonalds? 2.5 hours, etc.
Soon they get the idea that the less that is spent the less hours mom or dad will have to work.

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:36:36 +0000

There were two things that really helped me when I was struggling. The first is looking very carefully at regular expenses – what got me most psychologically was the sense that there was very little left after I’d paid all my bills. The second thing that really helped was explicitly budgeting fun money. Even if it was just $10 or $20 a month, knowing I had that available, and that I could enjoy spending it without guilt, really helped give my spirits a lift.

Also ditto talking to the kids. If you’re trying to pretend that everything’s fine financially, they’re not going to understand why they can’t have the same toys, gadgets, expensive sneakers, etc. as their friends. Keep in mind that misery loves company, by which I mean that it’ll be easier for your kids if they see that everyone in the family is sacrificing. It’s easy to feel picked-on at that age.

By: dong

dong — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:22:50 +0000

Yeah, I think alot of parents underestimate their children. I think one of the biggest reasons I’ve had generally speaking a pretty healthy attitude towards money is because my parents ensured I was involed as a kid. They got my brother involved in family decisions, and valued our opinion. Sure like any kid I wanted material things, but at least I understood when I couldn’t get them why I couldn’t get them.

By: Randy Peterman

Randy Peterman — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:38:05 +0000

Absolutely fabulous post. Definitely get the kids involved as much as possible. You may find resistance at first but if they’re disconnected it’ll be resistance through ignorance, which can be much worse. Also, if they’re involved they may learn a life long lesson that they can teach others from as well.

By: Lynnae

Lynnae — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:26:16 +0000

Excellent post! I’ve found that my 9 year old is great for motivating us to stay on track. When we discuss grabbing takeout, she’s the first to say “Aren’t we supposed to be saving our money?”. Our goal of becoming debt free has really become a family affair.

I love the idea of a debt-meter! I may have to make one and hang it up.

By: Steve Olson

Steve Olson — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:24:36 +0000

We’ve been debt free since 2002. I was difficult but we did it using some of the steps you’ve outlined. The only debt I have is a very reasonable mortgage payment, but no consumer debt. Our new rule is… if we can’t pay for it today… we can’t afford it now… but we will make plans to create more money so we can have it later.

I actually believe in creating a greater supply of incoming money to deal with this problem. If we want nicer things… we ask… how can we make more? We never ask how can we borrow more.

Great post!