Now one problem is the differences with what each person is bringing into the apartment. John seems to be coming in with more stuff that his roommate. If this is a temporary situation, then it’s not a big deal; everyone just leaves with what they came with. But if these guys expect to be roommates for a while, then john’s roommate is basically getting free furniture.

The roommate thing never really worked out well for me, except with my girlfriend.

The whole me calling him cheap is a running in joke type thing in our circle of friends, I guess really didn’t do a good job of getting that across in the letter, and probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it.

I didn’t get upset that my roommate doesn’t want to go in on a TV, I just wanted to other opinions on the matter. Yeah, I was going to pass the info along to my roommate, and I still will.

I’m not trying to bully him into anything. Like I said, all I was trying to do was get a second opinion. It’s not a life or death situation if we don’t get a nice TV, we already have a TV (that I’m bringing).

And, in response to the question about what I’m bringing into the situation… A futon, microwave, TV and stand, kitchen table and chairs, many utensils and dishes, various decorative things. He’s bringing a George Foreman grill and maybe a loveseat. We’re gonna have to buy some new stuff to fill out the extra needs anyway, but I’m sure we’ll end up splitting that all up. Really, not that it matters, but someone asked.

The apartment price we’re looking at is anything under $1200 a month (well, not like, $500 a month in some slum, though).

It’s funny all the comments about horrid roommate situations, because what everyone fails to note is the wee bit about how we lived together for 4 years in college. We got along swimmingly, became best friends, shared things just fine with everyone and eachother, shared expenses, etc.

I guess I can’t fault any of you for thinking I’m some jerk, because it’s not like you know me.

This was just a random thing that I figured would benefit both of us, but I guess I was wrong in thinking that. If I want the TV I’ll buy it myself. I was going to buy his half later anyway, but maybe now I’ll just take some extra time to save the extra money. There’s no hard feelings or drama here.

Though of course, you consider him cheap for this, correct :)? Here you guys haven’t even moved in together, and you’ve already built up a negative story about him in your mind. I shudder to think what the poor fella’s going to be going through living with such a difficult person (judged difficult from the little view into this personality that these two letters have afforded us). What else are you planning to “gift” both of you? I can lay a bet you both are going to be up in arms in a short while. I see a horrid roommate situation here. To use your own words, not to judge you or anything. Just my impressions..

And the tone of your letter was clearly upset; you insulted your roommate–”There’s a difference between cheap and frugal, I know this. I’m frugal, but not cheap. I’m not so sure about him.”

You also asked advice from Trent so you could “pass it along” to your roommate; not for yourself. So don’t try to claim that you “never implied there was something wrong” with your friend. Because you did. Blatantly. And repeatedly.

I’ll be honest, I was offended by your letter. My opinion? You were being a jerk about this, and I don’t envy your roommate for having to live with you. It sounds like you were trying to bully him into buying something you wanted, because you know he has money.

That’s a lousy thing to do, especially to someone who, as you just told us, has worked for so long to save this money.

I don’t think spending $1000 on a new TV is nothing. As I said, this was just an idea I had for once we got settled in. As a kind of “housewarming” gift for the both of us to enjoy.

Yes we already have a TV we can use, but, being in our early 20s, both of us enjoy the benefits of new technology and the entertainment that such a device can bring into the apartment. He just doesn’t want to spend the money right now. I have no problem with that. I was only asking for Trent’s opinion.

Let me repeat: I have no problem with that.

I’ve received some good input here, and it’s got me to reevaluate the TV situation. I’ve never gone out and done the “new apartment” thing before, there is a learning process. This is something that maybe you all have taught me.

I don’t know why I feel the need to defend myself, because I knew that this letter might get posted, I just feel that some of you are attacking me personally based on assumptions you’re making when you don’t even know the entire situation.

Someone mentioned that I’m “dumb” (in so many words) because I only have $5000 in my emergency account when my friend has more than me. And somebody else mentioned that I’m jealous of this.

Um, no.

My situation is different than his. He’s had the ability to save up more money than me, and I say good for him. He’s had this savings going since high school, and I’ve never had a chance to put much money away. Not because I’ve spent it on random crap, but because of my situation and jobs I’ve had.

And I’m not a jealous person at all, but again, you don’t know this because you don’t know me.

“John seems to think that there is something wrong with his friend because said friend doesn’t have the exact same priorities that John does. . . If John’s friend is smart, he’ll run away as fast as his feet can carry him.”

That’s one of the foolish comments I’m talking about. No, I don’t think there’s something wrong with my friend. I never implied that. I asked if there was something wrong with me; a genuine question. But never did I imply that about my friend. That’s a baseless assumption that shouldn’t be made.

Sorry, I don’t mean to cause trouble or anything like that, I just feel that I need to defend some of these attacks. This discussion has definitely helped me though, so that’s good.

One thing that having roommates taught me about myself is that I resent it when my stuff isn’t treated well. So I stopped buying nice kitchen things, knowing I’d be supremely annoyed if they weren’t taken care of *my* way.

The other one seems a lot more sensible and I think John is jealous. It isn’t his business but he analyzes his buddies income and savings and thinks he’s entitled to it. He certainly won;t have 20thou sitting in the bank w/his attitude and spending habits. There are underlying issues that are going to set them up for failure.

It;s not just about the big TV. Who’s gonna watch it? What if his buddy does’t watch mutch TV? I don’t watch my TV so when a friend came over and we watched a few movies one time, my power bill went up about $20. Is it fair to split the power bill in half when John is watching it and sucking up the juice? And their is the noise factor and the cable bill, and what if John doesn’t do his share of the chores because he’s vegged out in front of the big a** TV.

My suggestion? If John wants it then he can save up and buy it. He can put it in his room or out in the living room. He should allow his roomie to watch it as he pleases, not putting any guilt trips on him. They can share things that will be in the common areas, like if John has a kitchen table, dishes, a couch, and the other guy has a recliner, pots/pans, end tables, lamps, etc. they will share these until they move when they each take their belongings. When they split up, John can take his TV too.

John seems to think that there is something wrong with his friend because said friend doesn’t have the exact same priorities that John does. Maybe the friend thinks John is foolhardy in his spending?

If John’s friend is smart, he’ll run away as fast as his feet can carry him.

Who knows if anyone who has commented will come back and read my comment, but I figured I’d just clear some stuff up.

First of all, in regards to the “best friends” and “roommates” situation: this is really my best friend, and we’ve been roommates since freshman year of college (that’s when we met). We graduated last year, and now are itching to get another place together. So there’s no worry about us hating eachother or anything, we know what we’re getting into.

About the TV and why I want it, why he doesn’t. I think a lot of you are thinking I want some huge extravagant 50″ plasma TV, which I don’t. I’d be happy with anything from say.. 27″ to 32″. That’s what I’m going for. And I don’t plan on buying any kind of expensive crazy home theater system. I’m not a hardcore electronics buff, I just thought it would be cool to have a nice TV to, as someone said, entertain people, watch DVDs, and play XBox360.

My roommate has the same video game playing/TV/DVD watching habits that I do, he just feels that he needs to save as much as he can because he’s scared that he’s not gonna be able to pay his college loans. He comes from a family that is very particular with their money (for example, THEY just bought a brand new 42″ or so plasma TV, but they were replacing the first TV they ever owned when they came to the states, in the 80s).

It’s not really a matter of me not knowing his likes/dislikes/priorities. We know eachother really well, this was just an idea I threw out there. I already knew his answer would probably be no, but I wanted to ask just incase.

And yes, I planned on buying the other half from him at the end of the year when our lease was up. Someone might say I should just go ahead and buy it all myself, maybe they’re right.

In regards to what someone said about my emergency fund being too small or whatever… I’m 23. I just gradauted last year. I’ve had a “real” job for only a little over a year. I’m saving and adding to the fund as much as I can, but it’s not like I’ve had much time to pad it up.

Maybe I need to rethink my priorities and whatnot, maybe a new TV isn’t what I need to be spending my money on, but it was just an idea that I thought would make our apartment that much better.

In the end, we probably won’t end up getting the TV. Or maybe I/we will hold off for a while and see what happens later. Again, I appreciate all the input.

“John”

John should really have a sense of how much TV his *best* friend watches and what kind of utility he would get out of it. If his best friend is saying a new plasma would be really sweet for the apartment, but says he doesn’t have the money to share the cost then that is a little bit of disconnect. Maybe he means he wants to save his money for a house etc (which is perfectly reasonable), maybe he thinks he can get his John to purchase the TV on his own so will get to watch it for free, which is also fine IMO, if the roommate also makes an effort to contribute to the shared living situation in other ways, otherwise he is being cheap.

Once I went out to dinner with a big group, and I ended up with a separate check because there had been a problem with my food. On the big check, one of the entrees and drinks was inadvertently left off the bill. Rather than tell the waiter, the people I was with got into an impassioned argument over how to split the bill.

Or a friend I had who would go out to dinner with me, and when it was her turn to order would choose water and a side salad. So of course I ended up compensating in the tip, etc.

Living in a group house where the majority (not me) decided to keep the thermostat at 58 in the winter, and the first person up (me 100% of the time as I swam before work) would turn it up to 60 so that the others could stand to get out of bed.

John’s friend doesn’t owe him half of a tv, particularly if he doesn’t like watching tv and would never buy it for himself. But I hope they have a discussion before moving in together about how they will furnish the place and split expenses. John will definitely find out this year whether the friend is frugal or cheap, and won’t need to ask any of us.

I wouldn’t buy a plasma tV right now. Am I cheap? I don’t think so because buying one would put me in debt. My roomate wants cable, however I rarely watch TV and I don’t want cable. Solution? My roomate pays all of the cable bill and I don’t watch it. Is that cheap?