Comments on: Stumbling on the Simple Things

By: frugalliz

frugalliz — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:06:12 +0000

I have this problem, too. It’s easy to avoid the $1000 tv or the $300 playstation, but the $10 movie or the $8 book is harder to resist. I mean it’s “only $10″, right? My husband and I get around this by taking out a certian amount of cash every week for frivolous purposes. That way when the money’s gone, it’s gone. When you want that $10 movie, but there’s only $20 left for the week and you’ve still got 3 days before you take out more money…It makes you think twice.

By: jewell

jewell — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 15:46:57 +0000

I can certainly relate to this way of thinking. What I’ve learned is that I need to reprogram the way I’m thinking. If I’m thinking “I deserve it”, then I’m operating from a place of feeling deprived- I need to look at where I’ve gone too far in my debt reduction strategies and make an adjustment. A $40 bottle of wine, not unreasonable, and is it worth the amount of using water in your home for an entire month? (That’s about the cost of water at my house). In other words I try and compare the cost to the cost of my needs and see if that’s how I want to spend it. I have the EXACT same problem regarding a note tablet! I stand there in front of the tablets at Borders and think I “need” a pricey tablet. Interesting when I buy an inexpensive tablet – I use it more. The costlier ones I tend to save the paper more. Anyway, I’ve solved this by buying those black and white cosmopolitan (for school kids) notebooks at the grocery store. If I buy a few of them at a time I don’t have to go through this every month.

By: AGoodGerman

AGoodGerman — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:23:02 +0000

Having a 40 Dollars bottle of wine to accompagny a superbe dinner or to reward yourself for a great achievement is a perfectly sensible thing to do, as long as it doesn’t happen every night AND as long it’s real fun and not something you bought to compensate for something lacking in your life that special day.

Of course: if you still have some financial groundwork to do: forget about the wine!

By: Marcy

Marcy — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:28:54 +0000

It’s funny, social scientists have found that people tend to spend more, buying things they don’t need, purchasing/drinking more alcohol during times of financial hardship, when the economy is poor, when there is high unemployment rates and other such situations. I’ve seen this happening on a much smaller scale. Say, friends of mine who are dirt poor. If they had even a little bit of structure, they could squeeze by, at least paying rent, utilities, and putting food on the table (even if it isn’t fast food). I would often see at least a $20 go thru their hands every day, spent on pizza, soda, candy for the kids, of course. But this would be the equivalent of a full time minimum wage job. But it doesn’t seem to amount to much when it’s $20 or $30 a day. Any mention of setting up an account to put even 1/2 of their cash per month would be certain strikes against me. The attitude is: Why save it when it’s only a few bucks? It’s not going to matter either way. But it does matter. It’s this attitude that does people in. If someone can live below their means and still afford video games or what ever else tickles their fancy, that’s great. They deserve it. But why spend more than needed? There was an excelent suggestion, go for used games. It’s often the thrill of immediate gratification. But it’s the thrill most people enjoy. The objects of their desire obviously have some importance. But it is the subconcious that is having a blast. When the thrill subsides, that pesky subconcious tells the concious mind to go at it again. I’m sure we all see people who are constantly driving a new car, get the latest toys and toss em aside when something better comes along. This is where people go wrong. If they feed into the desire, it will be strengthened. Then, nothing will ever be good enough or satisfy them. Maybe during the moment of newness but that’s it. It’s a miserable way to live.

By: Red

Red — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:20:20 +0000

@maxconfus: harsh! And more than a bit judgemental.

For what it’s worth, Trent supports and advocates supporting local politics constantly on this site.

And video games haven’t been solely a children’s domain for quite a while.

By: belleandthecity

belleandthecity — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:56:23 +0000

Like others, I give myself an allowance each month that I can spend on something completely frivolous, no matter what my financial situation is.

Even when I moved to New York without a job and was living off a very small savings account, I still gave myself $10 a month to spend on something frivolous, and made sure to enjoy it.

I tend to get into trouble with my budget when I deny myself things that I love completely and then end up overspending once I have a little breathing room. This keeps me right on track–spending the money on something frivolous does feel like a reward for keeping to my budget, which in turn makes me more motivated to stay on track!

By: Limewater

Limewater — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:18:19 +0000

Trent,
You mention your video game habit pretty regularly. Given your typical frugality, I am sort of surprised you still buy new games at all. I’ve been a video game junkie for years, but I’ve managed to not spend too much by staying a few years behind the curve and buying systems and games used.

Video games seem to depreciate even more quickly than cars.

By: maxconfus

maxconfus — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:54:34 +0000

DS games? Have you considered growing up? Put down the video games and do something productive like involve your self in local or national politics as an activist before this country becomes China.

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:35:56 +0000

I keep a tiny notebook in my bag, and I write down any “non-necessity” purchases in it. Often, just the thought of having to write out that amount is enough to make me put the item back.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:21:02 +0000

Trent, your comment above, about the fear that your little indulgences will become regular habits, really hit home with me. Until three years ago, I was living on a graduate student’s salary, and doing just fine. Now I’m making three times that but living the same lifestyle, saving more than half my income. I have a very difficult time spending money on things – cab rides, expensive dinners out, new clothes that aren’t on sale – that I can easily afford now but would not have been able to afford then. And I think my reason is much the same as yours: fear that I’ll eventually think of these little luxuries as necessities, and that I won’t be able to dial my lifestyle back down again if someday I need to do that.

By: Marcy

Marcy — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:16:31 +0000

credit/debit cards have their merits but it is so tempting to pull out the plastic. It’s just too easy. I have a lot of self control but there are times when I see something on sale, just too good to pass up. Now I usually leave my cards in a safe place and take them out when I need to use them. I like using cash for the little purchases, even if that means hitting up the ATM beforehand.

Making planned, calculated purchases is key. You figure out how much you will need for everything. Say, $10 for gas, $25 for what’s on my grocery list, etc. and take that much (maybe a bit more just in case you’re estimate is off or for incidentals, like you remember you needed toothpaste).

It’s a lot easier to have the visual image. When your looking at numbers on paper, database, etc. It’s different. The $40 bottle of wine sounds good at the time and you get it because you know you can. Again, it’s too easy. We all need to reward ourselves for staying on track and if you really want that wine, that’s fine.

But I think it’s better to plan it out. If you’re having a special meal, decide on what you are going to buy before you leave the house. And think about it. Is that wine really going to taste any better, is it really going to matter, are you looking to serve something special for guests, what is your reason for buying it? Is there a cheaper alternative, even if it will only save $5 or $10? It all adds up and that’s money in the bank.

And this isn’t the only issue, but you get the point. I agree with other poster, you should treat yourself, not deny yourself, or there’s no point in trying to save. However, are the feelings of guilt any better? Probably not. Guilt is just as bad and sometimes worse than denying yourself in the 1st place. Common sense, some careful planning, and taking measures to prevent regretful purchases can be valuable in more ways than one.

By: xshanex

xshanex — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:06:04 +0000

Trent, once again a great post!

Personal finance should not be a quest for absolute perfection but a journey where the future is prepared for and the present thoroughly enjoyed. A balance needs to be found and your writing of finding that balance in the real world keeps me reading and telling people about your site.

I’m all for saving, investing, living frugally, and paying off debt but still firmly believe that people should indulge in their passions, hobbies, loves, and family in a way that doesn’t impact their long term goals. I’m well on track to meet my short and long term goals now and am finally learning to appreciate money for what it is and how it can be used wisely to get the most enjoyment I can out of life. My guilt about frugally spending money on things I enjoy, frequently use, and am passionate about is nearly gone

By: Trent

Trent — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 10:36:00 +0000

The danger isn’t the little purchases themselves, but that they become regular things – habits, if you will. I don’t mind buying a DS game occasionally, but if I find myself buying one regularly every so often as a matter of course, that’s when a problem creeps in.

By: Vincent

Vincent — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 07:02:58 +0000

DS games are my weakness as well. That, and beer. I have a tendency to over rationalize my DS purchases in the exact same ways you mentioned, and the result is I have quite the library growing here. I don't play the ones I've beaten and I don't play some of the ones I haven't beaten — Tetris gets most of my DS time &mdsah; so when I look at the stack of DS games as a stack of money, it's rather startling. However, this does seem to contradict an older, rather excellent post, I think. The financial cost of certain indulgences (DS games included) can often pale in comparison to the spiritual gains such indulgences offer. While that doesn't mean we should bend to every whim of our own — I have quite the collection of DS games, as I said, and not a whole lot to show for it (though to my own credit it has grown very slowly over time, though it ostensibly causes more stress than it relieves) — isn't it often worth it to indulge oneself? $40 bottle of wine or $50 Wii game, whatever's your drug of choice; I tend to think beating oneself up over a simple purchase is a little bit harsh.

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 06:21:58 +0000

Also, I don’t hit the limit every month, but I never cross it _ever_. And the limit doesn’t roll-over either :).

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 06:21:17 +0000

I set up a monthly limit for leisure spending. That way, I get to have the pleasure of the splurge and indulging without feeling guilty or without really denting other plans.

By: Brad

Brad — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 04:47:38 +0000

Trent, I love your website and you inspire me to stay on the right path after years of financial irresponsibility. I gotta tell you buddy, maybe it’s because I just rewarded myself with lots of wine and dinner tonight (close friends are in town from Europe…), but I think you deserve these little luxuries. Believe me, when you’re waiting at Heaven’s gate, you’re not going to be thinking “Gee, I should have bought the $9 bottle of Yellow Tail.” You inspire a lot of people with your personal (spiritual-)financial journey, and if those (revelations-)blog entries flow better in Moleskine than Mead, you should allow yourself the occasional splurge :)

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 04:09:30 +0000

Thank you for the reminder to splurge occassionally. I often feel guilty that the money could go to more productive things, but I equate paying off debt to dieting. If you deprive yourself of everything, you are more likely to go hog wild and cheat. If you allow yourself moderation, you are more likely to succeed.

By: vh

vh — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 03:26:40 +0000

Interesting post and even more interesting responses. Forty bucks for a bottle of wine, eh? Gosh.

Still, it’s no more extravagant than $20 or $30 for some decent makeup. Do we blink at it? Hmmm…

After passing beyond the first phase of frugality (freshly divorced, in full Bag-Lady Mode, convinced I’d soon be living under the freeway overpass, laying up canned foods hoarded from sale shelves), I discovered that once you’re out of debt and living within your means, certain small indulgences can make you feel as though you’ve given yourself a great luxury without coming anywhere near breaking the bank. These miniluxuries contribute something toward your overall morale that’s worth way more than they cost.

Strikes me that the $40 bottle of wine (shoot, ya could’ve bought 4 bottles of Ravenswood for that!) is in that category, right along with the $12 jar of perfumed bubble bath (yup, sure coulda got that box of Calgon instead). You don’t have to take a trip to the Riviera to feel pampered and pleasured once in a great while. As long as you can afford it, an occasional indulgence is an important part of a frugal lifestyle. Do you deserve it? No more than anyone deserves anything. Do you need an occasional break from austerity? Probably most of us do.

By: Susy

Susy — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 02:02:21 +0000

I enjoyed this post! I think this is so true. Often these are the things that start increasing when you get a raise. Once you work hard at reducing “the little expenses” it’s much easier to resist them.

I stopped buying little things I don’t need in Jan of this and according to my budget I’m spending $100 less per month on things like, expensive wine, nicer paper, wrapping paper, etc. All those little things really add up. I don’t feel like I’m enjoying my life any less, I actually feel like I’m enjoying what I have more, and I’m really enjoying the extra grand in the bank!