Comments on: Five Reasons Why Having A Child Isn’t As Expensive As You Might Think

By: bargainph

bargainph — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:58:38 +0000

I should be agreeing to this post but I can imagine what a first time father and/or mother would feel when they have their first child.

“More responsibility (and/or happiness)”

By: Deborah

Deborah — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:57:50 +0000

I found myself single with an unplanned pregnancy in 2003. I was terrified, but abortion was out of the question. I decided that I was going to be the best mom I could possibly be. My daughter will be 5-years-old next month, and she is doing great! I worried about money at first, but once I had my daughter I drastically cut down on entertainment. It is amazing how much money you can have once you give up or cut back on concerts, restaurants, etc. My daughter is on a gumnastics team and takes swimming lessons that is my entertainment now. I would tell people if everyone waited for a perfect time to have a baby there would not be any babies.

By: njthinker

njthinker — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:16:49 +0000

So, let’s dust off this thread and fast forward to the present, since there hasn’t been a new post here in over year, but quite a bit has changed since then…

Given the current state of our economy, does anyone think that it is still a good idea to go ahead and incur expenses for ANYTHING that costs a lot of money, on the belief that “the money will come”? Isn’t this exactly the same sort of thinking that has gotten us into this royal mess that we are experiencing now?

I don’t care what the commodity is… houses, cars, yachts, vacations, flat-screen TVs, babies… if you don’t think that you can afford it before you buy it, then you shouldn’t buy it until you feel comfortable in that regard. Period.

And if that means never having a baby, then so be it.

My wife and I have no children. Our total household income is well into the six-figure range, but when I consider all of the associated overhead, there is absolutely no way that we are in any kind of position to afford even one kid on what we make. I know a couple – the wife is a psychologist and the husband is a general practitioner. They have three children. They once told us that their combined income is well over half a million dollars a year… they do not live extravagantly at all, yet they are still barely getting by.

So go ahead and call us doomsayers if you want, but we prefer to use the word “realists”… because this is reality, and that’s who we are.

By: Ruby

Ruby — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:43:30 +0000

I think it’s hilarious to hear so many couples whingeing that they ‘can’t afford’ a baby. What about single mums? The major cost of a baby is child care, and/or reduced earnings when a woman cannot work because the little one is dependent on her for LIFE. Until the Australian government recognises that mothering is the world’s most important job, and supplies paid maternity leave like Europe, single mothers will live lives of poverty, and mothers with partners will have to hand their babies over to abusive child carers.

By: Macinac

Macinac — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 04:36:41 +0000

You’re not going to like this. The best way is old dad young mom. Dad makes enough money that mom need not work. The baby is a minor blip in the expenses and dad is quite happy to pay whatever it takes anyhow. The best day care is provided by mom and the baby can be breastfed. So who is a young guy going to marry? Well, his first wife should be an older widow.

By: Ariella

Ariella — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 13:25:37 +0000

This whole “you will find the money” attitude is one that assumes quite a few things. How about this scenario: the health insurance comes from the WIFE’s job, the husband has no health benefits offered at his job at all, the husband and wife make equal salaries, and the wife’s work doesn’t offer any type of maternity program (this is OK under the FMLA as long as the company has less than 50 employees).

So, now you have a situation where the wife can’t stop working because she has to maintain her health benefits, the husband can’t automatically stay home because the wife isn’t the main breadwinner, and there’s no salary offered to the wife during the 12 weeks (or whatever) she might want to stay home with the kid. Yes, you can save for those 12 weeks, and hopefully the job will still be there afterwards, but this attitude seems remarkably naive.

Not everyone, even people who are frugal savers and are careful with their money, can afford a child or “make it work.” Sometimes, you just have to wait. If an accidental pregnancy occurred in the situation outlined above, that couple would basically HAVE to find an affordable daycare, and the pregnancy/child would almost certainly affect one parent’s ability to earn because of reduced hours at their job. I just don’t think it’s as simple as, “the money will come.”

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:55:00 +0000

Sorry to nudge, but the child care tax credit numbers are still wrong. It’s 20% of $3,000 or $600. And that’s a credit, not a deduction, so it’s the full $600. (The 28 percent only applies if it were a deduction.)

By: Amanda B.

Amanda B. — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:48:21 +0000

Dan,
I didn’t say babies spontaneously generate, I said they happen. I know you don’t expect newly married couples who just aren’t “ready” for kids to continue to abstain? I happened while my mom was on the pill and my son happened while I was on the ring. Many a child has come into this world as a result of diligent people and faulty science. I think what I really wanted to get across is even if you are not planning on kids at the time you conceive, they can still be perfectly timed. I also wish that I spent more of my pregnancy glowing and less of it terrified I was going to have to live in a box on the street.

By: SwingCheese

SwingCheese — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:33:51 +0000

I once had someone tell me (echoing what I’ve heard above) that if you wait to be financially ready for a child, you will never have one. It annoyed me at the time, and it annoys me now. Surely, when planning a child, it is better to do it when my husband and I have things like insurance coverage, steady job, etc.

That having been said, I understand the meaning behind it. My only issue is that person speaking to me seemed to think that I was waiting until I had enough savings to support them birth to death. That wasn’t the case, but I did think that I should have more financial options, support, and overall maturity than I did as an 18 year old freshman in college.

One last thing – I think that, orthodontically speaking, straight teeth are a product of genetics, not breastfeeding. My husband was breastfed, and his teeth could have used braces. I was bottle-fed, and my teeth are perfect. I would never disagree with breastfeeding, especially from a health perspective (to this day, my husband is rarely sick, and has been that way his entire life), but I don’t think it has anything to do with needing orthodontia later on.

By: kathy

kathy — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:57:15 +0000

Listen, I was a 21 year old, flat broke, college student when my boyfriend and I found out we were going to become parents. We got married, and had to make enormous changes to our lives. I had to quit school and my part time job and move to where he was in grad school, making very little money. We survived. You make a tight budget and stick to it. You become very creative with entertainment, gifts, and family time. We became house parents at one of the local college sorority houses to cover housing expenses, I got a part time job to pay for diapers, I did a lot of sewing, and made a lot of simple meals to get us through it. Eventually, I was able to finish college, and now, 26 years later, our kids are mostly grown and taking care of themselves.
Sometimes we need the advantage of disadvantage to show us what’s really important and to appreciate any increase in salary or circumstance. It’s really empowering to know that you can live on less.
Also, remember that while it’s nice to have a college fund for your children, they can still get a very good college education without one. I also agree with Sandy. Breastfeed as long as possible and spend as little as possible on them while they’re young. Seriously, my 15 month old granddaughter would rather play with my Tupperware,or dance to music on the radio than play with all of the toys she’s been given.
Finally, take ALL the hand-me-downs you’re offered. Your child won’t know or care that they slept in a second-hand crib when they’re 20 years old.

By: Dan

Dan — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:27:50 +0000

>Babies happen, even if you are careful.

I thought we’d pretty much established, you know…scientifically, where babies come from…

Another things that eases the cost of kids is hooking into the “mom’s network”…Between my wife and her friends and family swapping stuff I don’t think I have bought more then $100/year of clothes for any of my three kids (mostly shoes, socks and underwear). Ditto for toys and other kid related stuff (car seats, strollers, diaper bags, etc).

I agree on the breastfeeding comment – while 3 years seems a bit extreme – you can pretty much go from breast feeding to food, and you will be saving a lot of money and like the other poster mentioned this is great health-wise for mom and the kids.

Also consider one of you staying home – we did the math when we had our first kid and my wife would have had to make about $35k for work to make sense for her to work anymore.

Child-care is about 90% of the expense of having kids. On the child care tax bit…I think some of the difference you are seeing here is that some people here have that program through work where you can pay for your child care (and medical stuff) with tax free money.

By: Trent

Trent — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:23:50 +0000

I fixed the math on the child care tax credit portion.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:20:43 +0000

Sefner is right — you’ve got the child care tax credit info wrong. The maximum expenses you can claim are the $3000, and then it’s 35% of that. And it’s only 35% if your income is $15,000 or less — it phases down to 20% by the time your incoem reaches $43,000. So, if you have a family income of $45,000, pay $12,000 in child care costs, your maximum credit is 20% of $3000, or $600.

And it’s not refundable so most low-income families (who pay federal payroll taxes but don’t owe income taxes) don’t benefit.

By: Amanda B.

Amanda B. — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:10:53 +0000

The presumption that unplanned pregnancy happens only to the stupid or irresponsible is remarkably under informed. Babies happen, even if you are careful. I thought when I got pregnant with my son that it was too soon, but it turns out he was right on time. I honestly believe you are never “ready” to be a parent. No matter how much money you save, you will still have to sacrifice something. I didn’t have a job when I found out I was pregnant, so no insurance. I lost my job before my son was a year old, and we made it work. If you commit to your family, it will work. You may look back later (like I do now) and be amazed that you aren’t homeless, but family works. Those who haven’t been there may not believe it, but it does.
I love the “develop a taste for water” idea. I suggest ice. We only put it in my son’s water and he loves the noise it makes. It keeps him interested in water.

By: plonkee

plonkee — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:56:24 +0000

Actually, child benefit is more like £20 a week. And many people can take advantage of child tax credit. Children are a serious decision, they take both time and money like its going out of fashion, which I think !wanda pointed out earlier.

By: debola

debola — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 07:01:48 +0000

I live in London where you get about £20 a month in child benefits unless you are on seriously low income. We have 2 boys and thought we were financially prepared but … the savings soon vanish. I invested in property to pay for their uni but that will probably be sold to fund other unexpected occurrences. Children are physically and financially draining but they give you a hell of lot that money can’t buy. America is so materialistic so a lot of Americans will not get it.

By: sefner

sefner — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 06:26:15 +0000

I’m pretty sure your child care tax credit calculations are wrong as you can only claim a maximum of $3000 worth of childcare costs which you then must take between 20-35% of depending on income to arrive at your credit.

If I’m wrong I’ll be redoing last years taxes.

By: Adrian

Adrian — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 01:34:48 +0000

Don’t forget Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) if you don’t make very much. Last year we received over $2800 from federal and state EITC programs. As a graduate student with one kid this definitely helps.
The amount you receive is determined on how much you make.

Ebay is a great place to get good baby and kids clothes for cheap.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:45:47 +0000

A couple of tips from a “veteren parent”…I was really worried 15 years ago and was pregnant…how could we ever afford this baby? Although she was well planned and wanted, it still was a dilema for me. A couple of thoughts that may help some of you: #1 Definately breastfeed as long as possible. I was able to nurse (yes, I’ll admit to being a breastfeeding Nazi)until they were 3. Sounds like a long time, but the benefits are endless..I’m still reaping them today (my kids are rarely sick, and I haven’t paid a dime for braces, as their teeth are perfect). #2 Do not get your kid hooked on juice…let them develop a taste for water (filtered water is best)…they won’t think that everything has to be sweet, and therefore, you won’t have to buy soda when they are older (thus saving on medical and dental costs). #3 Spend as little as you can on them while they are young. Between the breastfeeding savings ($2000) and shopping thrift stores, etc…for all their clothing and toys, you can save an awful lot. Same with activities…they are young and will likely be happy going to a park or playground or other free places (storytime at the library was one of our funnest things to do!). Organize a playgroup when they are about 2, and this saved money…have your own lttle preschool when they are 3 with 3-4 other little friends their age. We saved loads on tuition, and we could teach the kids whatever we wanted (each week had a different color, simple craft and snack, etc..). It’s a big lie that children need to go to a school when parents could provide the same with a little creativity.
Now that my girls are 14 and 9, the expensive years have come upon us (lessons in dance, music lessons, martial arts, Girl Scout expenses, etc…) and money has gotten easier to come by. The other main thing is to not buy too expensive of a house. I’ve been able to stay home with my girls nearly the whole time because we bought a house way below our means, so it’ll never be a problem paying the mortagage. In fact, our goal is to have the mortage paid off in 2 years (10 years total) and that then will help out when the older one starts college in 2012.
Best of luck to all the new parents out there…it’ll all be ok!

By: Mrs. Micah

Mrs. Micah — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:34:21 +0000

To the folks who are shocked by unplanned pregnancies, there is no 100% effective contraceptive except 100% abstinence. I’ve known people to become pregnant on the pill or while using condoms. So unless you think sex is only for procreation, try to be a bit more understanding. They could have an abortion of course, but that takes a lot more reflection than simply popping a pill every morning or putting on a rubber.

I was talking to a friend about this today. She said that you find money. It’s still a huge investment, of course, but it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. And yes, her pregnancy was planned and she’s well off by most standards, but she was still nervous.