I’m a working mom of 2 great kids and have used childcare. Are you saying I don’t have great memories with my kids?

I’m sorry but what year is this again??

Personally, I think sooner is better as far as having your third child. I don’t know how old you two are, but if your wife is over 30, it could take awhile for you to conceive (many women are stunned when they have problems as early as their late 20′s because the media makes it seem perfectly possible to conceive any time you want). You might find yourself having to spend lots of money on fertility treatments, etc. simply because you waited for no particular reason. Additionally, I think it’s really beneficial for the kids when siblings are close together in age–plus they can entertain each other and it minimizes the years you’ll spend with small children running your lives. :-)

Secondly, I would think twice about one of you staying home with the kids, even when/if you have a third. Most parents make this decision based solely on what is arguably best for the family right NOW, but that decision has huge implications on your career, family, earning power, and sense of fulfillment for the rest of your lives.

It is much more difficult than anyone realizes to get back into the workforce, even after just 6 months out of it. This goes for men and women, but age and sex biases are much worse (and very alive and well) for women. Blue collar workers don’t encounter problems as often, but the biases are very prominent in fields like law, finance, media, technology, etc. Most women leave the workforce fully intending to “opt back in” at some point–but many fewer are able to do so, and almost none are able to pick up anywhere near where they left off in terms of status and salary. The years you have with children who need high levels of care are relatively few; it isn’t usually worth it to sacrifice future decades of an empowering and satisfying career and earnings for those few years at home.

Even though my husband died ten years ago and I am facing the job market after being out of it twenty-nine years (twenty-two years homeschooling our children), I would not trade places with anyone.

In response to an earlier post about not having many children’s toys, I can see why many parents would feel that way if the children were in daycare all day. Think of this: How would you feel if the daycare had no toys?

We had a variety of toys at different ages and stages–the same with chores, pets, volunteer
activities and part-time work. Lots of play and learning activities can overlap. A five year old playing with a cash register and play money (real coins but paper bills) can learn FROM his play. Your little son and daughter will have lots of teachers in life, but only one daddy. You can maximize your influence on them by being home more. Even now at their young ages, they are your greatest joys. Now multiply that by the number of years you can be their daddy.

My wife and I both work, and our three sons all go to day care. I could not have asked for happier, smarter or more fun kids.

Make the right decisions, for the right reasons.

Estate planning is critical – at your age life insurance is essential (but cheap)

You’ll want power of attorney for finances and for health care decisions, since short or long-term disability is far more common than a sudden death.

I was very thankful mom had revised her estate plans, including her financial and health care powers of attorney around age 50.

That was the year before she was diagnosed with a slow, but terminal illness (non-Alzheimer’s dementia)

>A third child We’re basically in agreement about wanting a third child.