You read the same books over and over and over. As a reading specialist, I know that is TERRIFIC. You are teaching your child so much by doing that, as well as building lifelong love of reading by the association of books and your undivided attention.

Second: If I had to do it all over again (my kids are adults now), I would have saved more for college. In our urban school system, the local community college was not a good environment. I wish I had saved enough to send them where they were accepted.

Great post

I’m a 16 year old girl, so my parents always get comments about how much money they must spend, and they always just laugh.

You might consider including housing costs in your estimate: if a child has his or her own room, the additional square footage (in terms of rent or mortgage payment) is an additional expense.

As far as some of the other comments, we are very happy with the quality of care our daughter receives at daycare. I don’t think she would be better or worse off if one of us stayed home, it would just be a different experience for her and we are happy with the one she is getting.

I don’t think his argument was that SAHP’s do not provide stimulating activities for their children, but that it is difficult for them to provide the variety of crafts, games, toys, etc as they do in day care, not to mention the interaction with peers.

Just as T would not like anyone critizing the choice that s/he feels is best for her family (presumably staying home), s/he should not feel obligated to criticize others for doing the same.

My husband and I are planning for children, and they will most likely be put in day care. We can afford for my husband to stay home, but in my opinion, the overall experience that day care provides is superior to what he could get at home. Also, we both love our jobs so much that we would not be as fufilled without them, which will teach our children the value of education, work, and finding something you enjoy.

Every situation is different, so please don’t think that the option you have chosen is the best for everyone.

As for the “unfortunate you have to send your kids to daycare” comment, we have had the same experiences with a quality daycare — our daughter has many more experiences and interactions than we could provide. We also are in the situation where we must have both parents working to make ends meet. Really. We don’t live quite as frugally as Trent does, but we certainly aren’t using our two incomes to take expensive vacations, buy giant-screen TV’s or expensive automobiles. Most of our income goes towards mortgage, food, daycare and the essentials of life.

I also find it interesting that the assumption is that the wife always stays home, while the husband goes out and brings home the bacon. Also little consideration is given to the mother’s career, professional development, personal development, etc. It’s all mommy, all the time. It doesn’t matter that the kids will be home a few years, but that can set you back 8-10 years career-wise, or make you entirely unemployable. Not to mention the huge risk in today’s economy of having a one-earner household — with a dual-income one, you have some insurance against layoffs and so on.

It also doesn’t matter that study after study has shown that it’s not the quantity of time you spend with your kids, but the quality that matters — to this effect, we make what time we have count for a lot. Daycare is just pure evil for some people.

Perhaps the larger question of why (in the US), the family is trumpeted as the building block of our society and culture, yet dual-income families get shellacked with extra taxes, mothers are guaranteed no (paid) time off (by law), fathers are guaranteed no time off at all (by law). It’s quite a double-standard that is set up. I would love to have taken more time in the first year of my daughter’s life. Luckily my company offers paternity leave, but it’s not on-par with maternity leave. And maternity leave in some instances is only the FMLA — no pay for mommy while she’s out. It’s hard to be out three month’s wages.

MSN wrote an article about the “(Real) Cost of Love.” Maybe your next post should borrow from the idea, Trent. Tell us how much your wife costs you! But, in keeping with your baby cost analysis, you should go further than MSN and include intrinsic costs. Again, make no mention of the benefits. You didn’t afford your babies that respect.

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=1022245

Yes it does – IF your child doesn’t go to day care. No day care will take a child in cloth diapers (maybe a home day care who also does cloth diapering). Think of the health issues of 10 buckets with each child’s soiled diapers!

We cloth diaper and save a ton of money but that is because our son doesn’t go to day care, that is the only way to make it work.

I can’t really comment on many of the other sections – I am a SAHM – no childcare, my 2.5 yo is potty trained, we don’t have a 529, I am fortunate that we have only spent about $20 in her lifetime on clothes due to hand-me-downs and gifts (the same with toys). But I think that the medical costs should subside (or maybe that is more noticable by the 3 yo analysis) :)

I’m a SAHM and it seems to me that the socialization arguement for daycare is based on the idea that all a SAHM does is plunk her kids in front of the TV all day, and doesn’t interact with them, doesn’t take them anywhere, which couldn’t be farther from the truth!! I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old, and we are always going somewhere, or doing something. There are playgroups, and storytime, and my 2 year old has a toddler gymnastics class that she goes to. She gets plenty of social interaction, and for my family, we save a lot of money. Plus I get the benefits of being a stay at home parent. So the idea that a child whose parent stays home with them is going to be a social misfit is just completely wrong.

As for the daycare, I’m going to address that in a post tomorrow that’s going to get some fire going, I’m sure.

If you have your child(ren) in a GOOD daycare, the experiences and socialization they receive are invaluable. My daughter’s daycare is one of the best in the area, offering far more crafts, music, and fine/gross motor development activities than we could possibly offer at home.

The key goal is to find a daycare that offers a wide range of developmental activities and opportunities for play, rather than one that simply warehouses children and plonks them in front of the TV all day.