Comments on: Melancholy and Spending http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Mon, 22 Mar 2010 02:27:15 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Carol http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109908 Carol Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:11:21 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109908 Sometimes when I am feeling down, I count my blessings. I have so many things I am greatful for. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of this. Sometimes when I am feeling down, I count my blessings. I have so many things I am greatful for. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of this.

]]> By: J.D. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109868 J.D. Wed, 14 Nov 2007 15:28:54 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109868 Trent, I've experienced something like this myself. My recent post on compulsive spending addresses some of these issues. So too does this article that somebody sent me (but I haven't yet written about): http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2007/11/the-consumer-pa.html Trent, I’ve experienced something like this myself. My recent post on compulsive spending addresses some of these issues. So too does this article that somebody sent me (but I haven’t yet written about):

http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2007/11/the-consumer-pa.html

]]> By: Sylvia http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109810 Sylvia Wed, 14 Nov 2007 13:51:11 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109810 Believe me, your little son's needed for your attention is normal. Your children are going to test you the rest of your life--there is no escaping. All of their disappointments, you will surely feel. They will love you all the more, if you continue to listen to them and show them unconditional love. My grown children still have things that happen to them that pull on my heart strings. Believe me, your little son’s needed for your attention is normal. Your children are going to test you the rest of your life–there is no escaping. All of their disappointments, you will surely feel. They will love you all the more, if you continue to listen to them and show them unconditional love. My grown children still have things that happen to them that pull on my heart strings.

]]> By: Katie http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109776 Katie Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:45:21 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109776 Hey Trent, Pat yourself on the back for being a caring, involved parent. You're doing sooooo many things to make the future bright for your children! As many comments have pointed out, 2-year-olds have moods, and your son is expressing his. He feels safe testing his abilities and retreating to the familiar with you (and his mom!) there to support him. Good Work! Those of us in the "northern latitudes must also consider Seasonal Affective Disorder if the down days don't ease. Hang in there, Katie Hey Trent,
Pat yourself on the back for being a caring, involved parent. You’re doing sooooo many things to make the future bright for your children! As many comments have pointed out, 2-year-olds have moods, and your son is expressing his. He feels safe testing his abilities and retreating to the familiar with you (and his mom!) there to support him. Good Work!
Those of us in the “northern latitudes must also consider Seasonal Affective Disorder if the down days don’t ease.
Hang in there, Katie

]]> By: Amanda D http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109418 Amanda D Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:41:47 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109418 I can totally relate to this article & I enjoyed the psychology of spending. Since I'm child-free, I regularly have to use my pup to bring my blood pressure down or lift my spirits. Music makes me pretty happy too. Great advice though! I can totally relate to this article & I enjoyed the psychology of spending. Since I’m child-free, I regularly have to use my pup to bring my blood pressure down or lift my spirits. Music makes me pretty happy too. Great advice though!

]]> By: Mrs. Micah http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109382 Mrs. Micah Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:51:19 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109382 I do the shower thing too. It's not the most environmentally responsible, but I save it for really awful days. It makes me feel like I've cried--cleansed and tired. I do the shower thing too. It’s not the most environmentally responsible, but I save it for really awful days. It makes me feel like I’ve cried–cleansed and tired.

]]> By: jenw http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109367 jenw Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:30:41 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109367 While I applaud your efforts to find ways around consumerism, I don't agree with the 1 hour shower. We're under water restrictions too in my area and even if you have a low-flow showerhead that's gallons and gallons of water you're using. Even if your area is not experiencing water shortages, we all need to conserve as a way of life so that resources are around for everyone. Try a long hot bath instead, you'll be using much less water and you could put some scented bath oils or bath salts in if you so desire :) While I applaud your efforts to find ways around consumerism, I don’t agree with the 1 hour shower. We’re under water restrictions too in my area and even if you have a low-flow showerhead that’s gallons and gallons of water you’re using. Even if your area is not experiencing water shortages, we all need to conserve as a way of life so that resources are around for everyone. Try a long hot bath instead, you’ll be using much less water and you could put some scented bath oils or bath salts in if you so desire :)

]]> By: Adam http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109327 Adam Tue, 13 Nov 2007 19:39:17 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109327 Man, I used to LOVE long showers as a way to decompress. Unfortunately, I think that if I took an hour long shower these days I would empty what's left of the Atlanta water supply... Man, I used to LOVE long showers as a way to decompress. Unfortunately, I think that if I took an hour long shower these days I would empty what’s left of the Atlanta water supply…

]]> By: Never the Same River Twice http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109310 Never the Same River Twice Tue, 13 Nov 2007 19:06:55 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109310 Trent, I echo the exercise suggestion for dealing with melancholy. I've also recently started to use a technique called <a href="http://www.blog.neverthesamerivertwice.com/2007/09/24/introduction-to-tapping-and-eft/" rel="nofollow">Tapping</a> or EFT. It's a very odd-looking technique, but it only takes a few minutes and I've had success decreasing negative emotions very quickly. Trent, I echo the exercise suggestion for dealing with melancholy. I’ve also recently started to use a technique called Tapping or EFT. It’s a very odd-looking technique, but it only takes a few minutes and I’ve had success decreasing negative emotions very quickly.

]]> By: guinness416 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109304 guinness416 Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:58:04 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109304 Exercise is absolutely the cheapest and most satisfying way that exists of ridding oneself of "the blues". Exercise is absolutely the cheapest and most satisfying way that exists of ridding oneself of “the blues”.

]]> By: Heidi http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109272 Heidi Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:32:16 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109272 Hi Trent, I'm simply speaking from my own experience and not professional at all. My parents kind of abandoned me when I was very young. Not financially, I was fed very well if you might ask. They did provide me with shelter and bought me expensive toys, clothes and stuff. I'm talking about the emotion thing, spend quality time together as a family. I'm not going to tell you boring details of my childhood. What I'm trying to say is, as long as you care about your kids, they know...even if they are as young as 2 years old. Hi Trent, I’m simply speaking from my own experience and not professional at all. My parents kind of abandoned me when I was very young. Not financially, I was fed very well if you might ask. They did provide me with shelter and bought me expensive toys, clothes and stuff. I’m talking about the emotion thing, spend quality time together as a family. I’m not going to tell you boring details of my childhood. What I’m trying to say is, as long as you care about your kids, they know…even if they are as young as 2 years old.

]]> By: Red http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109262 Red Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:21:48 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109262 Also watch out for comfort eating, the times when I'm down are the most difficult times for my waistline. Also watch out for comfort eating, the times when I’m down are the most difficult times for my waistline.

]]> By: Indianapolis Lawyer http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109260 Indianapolis Lawyer Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:15:56 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109260 Along the same lines I was flipping through the channels at the last two minutes of a Pokemon cartoon was running. I haven't really seen the show so I don't know if this is a regular occurrence, but they listed all the characters at the end of the show a hypnotic fashion. It's hard to explain, but I was in a trance myself. To further prove my theory, my niece, who was dozing off on the coach, lifted her head up and said, "I want that." Scary. Along the same lines I was flipping through the channels at the last two minutes of a Pokemon cartoon was running. I haven’t really seen the show so I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence, but they listed all the characters at the end of the show a hypnotic fashion. It’s hard to explain, but I was in a trance myself. To further prove my theory, my niece, who was dozing off on the coach, lifted her head up and said, “I want that.” Scary.

]]> By: scott http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109249 scott Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:56:43 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109249 Interesting info. Thanks for sharing, however, NPR would actually make me depressed, not entertain me. I found that the less I actually paid attention to the media regarding news, the happier I became because of the 'if it bleeds, it leads' syndrome. Playing with the kids is definitely a picker upper. Interesting info. Thanks for sharing, however, NPR would actually make me depressed, not entertain me. I found that the less I actually paid attention to the media regarding news, the happier I became because of the ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ syndrome.

Playing with the kids is definitely a picker upper.

]]> By: Andrea http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109235 Andrea Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:46:40 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109235 Rats, I could have used this reminder one day earlier. I was feeling lousy yesterday, and went to the mall for a winter hat and scarf, but of course I ended up buying more than just what I went for. It was only $30 worth of clothes, but that's still $30 that could have gone towards my credit card instead. At least I didn't USE the credit card to buy them. Rats, I could have used this reminder one day earlier.

I was feeling lousy yesterday, and went to the mall for a winter hat and scarf, but of course I ended up buying more than just what I went for. It was only $30 worth of clothes, but that’s still $30 that could have gone towards my credit card instead.

At least I didn’t USE the credit card to buy them.

]]> By: Mike http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109231 Mike Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:36:20 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109231 Your own guilt is by far the hardest thing to deal with. I'm sure your son will be fine. We've had many similar moments with our kids. My parents did leave me at an event once when I was three. They came in separate cars and each thought the other was taking me home when they left. Apparently it took them an hour to realize what had happened. I feel like I remember it, because it has become such a common family story, but I think it's really just the telling of the story that I remember. Great post on not letting guilt or any emotion drive us to overspend. Your own guilt is by far the hardest thing to deal with. I’m sure your son will be fine. We’ve had many similar moments with our kids.

My parents did leave me at an event once when I was three. They came in separate cars and each thought the other was taking me home when they left. Apparently it took them an hour to realize what had happened. I feel like I remember it, because it has become such a common family story, but I think it’s really just the telling of the story that I remember.

Great post on not letting guilt or any emotion drive us to overspend.

]]> By: LC http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109211 LC Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:14:22 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109211 Sometimes when I am in the shower and want to stay in longer just to relax, I am tempted to think of all the money I am wasting (the perils of frugality :) ). But when I think about it, it is really a very cheap way to relax, especially considering that you could be out buying things instead. I'm no expert but I echo the fact that you seem to be an excellent parent and your son is acting as expected for his age. Sometimes when I am in the shower and want to stay in longer just to relax, I am tempted to think of all the money I am wasting (the perils of frugality :) ). But when I think about it, it is really a very cheap way to relax, especially considering that you could be out buying things instead.

I’m no expert but I echo the fact that you seem to be an excellent parent and your son is acting as expected for his age.

]]> By: janewilk http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109185 janewilk Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:01:16 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109185 Trent, I'll just echo what the first two posters said. I am an early childhood development educator and can assure you that one incident a few days ago is highly unlikely to be the cause of the new behavior you're seeing. Your son is testing his limits and his abilities and watching to see how you will react. If you can continue to be consistent and keep your emotions in check while in his presence (not continually reassuring him that you didn't mean to worry him by leaving him in a group of friends) that will go a long way towards helping him gain stability. You will probably continue to see this behavior on and off for awhile - and then when he's 6-7 years old you'll see it again, in a different way. Ain't parenting fun? :-) Trent, I’ll just echo what the first two posters said. I am an early childhood development educator and can assure you that one incident a few days ago is highly unlikely to be the cause of the new behavior you’re seeing. Your son is testing his limits and his abilities and watching to see how you will react. If you can continue to be consistent and keep your emotions in check while in his presence (not continually reassuring him that you didn’t mean to worry him by leaving him in a group of friends) that will go a long way towards helping him gain stability. You will probably continue to see this behavior on and off for awhile – and then when he’s 6-7 years old you’ll see it again, in a different way. Ain’t parenting fun? :-)

]]> By: Jim http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109173 Jim Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:57:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109173 Trent, I read your blog via RSS, and I was a bit puzzled that you would say: "Avoid media sources. Especially anything with advertising on it." Then just a few lines later, There is an Ad just waiting for me to click. I haven't seen the ads before in the RSS feed, is this a new "feature" of your blog with a poor choice in timing? Or just perhaps an anomaly? In either case it seems a bit odd to suggest avoiding ads when your blog has several of them. Trent, I read your blog via RSS, and I was a bit puzzled that you would say:
“Avoid media sources. Especially anything with advertising on it.”
Then just a few lines later, There is an Ad just waiting for me to click. I haven’t seen the ads before in the RSS feed, is this a new “feature” of your blog with a poor choice in timing? Or just perhaps an anomaly?
In either case it seems a bit odd to suggest avoiding ads when your blog has several of them.

]]> By: MsKim http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/comment-page-1/#comment-109160 MsKim Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:54:46 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/11/13/melancholy-and-spending/#comment-109160 First step--relax. Having your child freak out because he can't find you or having a parent freak out because they can't find their child happens to all parents at one time or another; it certainly doesn't make you a bad parent. This is actually an excellent opportunity to practice ways to resolve stressful situations that are bound to come up as you (and your child) go through life. While your child is a little young and may not understand what you are saying, explain to him what happened, reassure him that you won't ever leave him, and talk about what he and you will do if you ever get seperated again. Like I said, he is pretty young for that now but it may be quite cathartic for you and will let you practice how you will approach problems as he grows up. What you don't want to do is run out and buy him (or yourself) a toy. When expendable income started becoming more avaialble to the middle class in the '60s and '70s, parents did this and it has created a nation of debtors who to this day soothe themselves with purchases while digging them further into debt. From your posts you sound like a very concerned, very good dad so don't be so hard on yourself! First step–relax. Having your child freak out because he can’t find you or having a parent freak out because they can’t find their child happens to all parents at one time or another; it certainly doesn’t make you a bad parent. This is actually an excellent opportunity to practice ways to resolve stressful situations that are bound to come up as you (and your child) go through life.
While your child is a little young and may not understand what you are saying, explain to him what happened, reassure him that you won’t ever leave him, and talk about what he and you will do if you ever get seperated again. Like I said, he is pretty young for that now but it may be quite cathartic for you and will let you practice how you will approach problems as he grows up.
What you don’t want to do is run out and buy him (or yourself) a toy. When expendable income started becoming more avaialble to the middle class in the ’60s and ’70s, parents did this and it has created a nation of debtors who to this day soothe themselves with purchases while digging them further into debt.
From your posts you sound like a very concerned, very good dad so don’t be so hard on yourself!

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