Look at it this way, my husband and I watch “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” and early on, he used to say how he wished they would come do over our house. One day I said that I was glad we didn’t need them to come to our house and that I hoped we never would. He thought about it and after realizing that I was thankful that nothing so horrible had happened to us or to the people we love, he said he understood what I meant and he’s never said it again. I watch that show (ad placement and all) because I like to see people helping others and it reminds me that I need to be thankful for the good things in my life; one of which is my family teaching me what’s important in life.

I’m pretty sure at that point I knew the tooth fairy didn’t exist and it was just my parents doing it, but when your parents forget something like that… well, the trauma runs a little deeper, now doesn’t it?

Most parents I know lie to their kids at some point – for instance when a child asks why Daddy isn’t there anymore are you really going to say he’s a drunk or he cheated? In the grand scheme of things lying about Santa is not really something I consider “lying”.

Personally I don’t see a downfall. But maybe I just don’t get it.

I can see your point, and I am sure no parent intends to harm their child with the Santa routine. In fact, most parents probably think they are doing the right thing.

I have such great memories of “Santa” and Christmas as a kid that I am compelled to do the same for my kids. However, I can see the downfalls. Thanks.

I think the tooth fairy will probably be a good idea. It’s unpleasant to lose a tooth–the blood, the pain, the techniques for removing one (apples, doors and strings, etc).

The fact that there is a little reward counteracts all that unpleasantness for a child, IMO. Just make sure something like this doesn’t happen: http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF187-Way_Too_Much.jpg#156

As for Santa, when I was a kid, we got presents from the farm animals that lived on our ranch. Dinky the Donkey always gave sweaters, as I recall. Is that weirder than Santa? =P

@LC – I did not generalize, it is just MY observation of the people that I know. There are plenty of Christians that enjoy the Santa routine, and there are plenty of atheists that avoid it. I personally think that Santa gets kids interested in Christmas, and when they are old enough to understand the meaning it will be more relevant to them.

Maybe let the others know that they can have a loan on the same terms if they need one. Or just state it at some other time when no one has any money conflicts.

@Keri – My parents would do the opposite – when they would say no to something, they would tell me to ask Santa for it. I knew that Santa would only bring a few big gifts, so it taught me to think about which things were “worth” asking Santa for and that Christmas gifts are sometimes things that you can’t have everyday and that’s what makes it special.

As far as spending on children, the original poster says it would be ideal for parents to have a “trust fund” for each child. In addition to this being unfeasible for most families, is it really fair for one child to use up all the money on equipment they need for their disability that wasn’t their fault and the other to use it however they want?

But if a parent spends money on one child for a disability is it fair for the other children to do without things they could have otherwise had? It might sound harsh, but I say yes it is fair. If your family had something unfortunate happen to someone, it isn’t that persons fault anymore than yours, so everyone should have to make sacrifices. That way the spending might not be equal, but everyone gets the same amount of “extra” things.

Wow – you nailed me as the conservative Christian. I grew up with “Santa” while my wife did not. I have always been a huge fan, what kid is not? My wife has won me over with her constant arguments against Santa – although mostly because of lying to your kids. I really tried to justify it as just plain fun, and I have no problem with people who see it that way, but the truth is that you feed them a lie.

Interesting logic regarding the gift giving. I haven’t personally heard that. Although I have heard the argument that you tell your kid about Santa and then they are unable to determine why Jesus is real and Santa isn’t. Since this is a PF blog, I will stop my comments here.

I never felt “lied to” by my parents about Santa. In fact, I can’t even remember being traumatized by finding out he wasn’t real. I can’t remember the finding out part at all. But I DO remember all the fun of thinking about him and planning for him. And I think I basically turned out normal.

As far as parental support — I do think if you are GIVING away money, you should try to do it equally, unless there is some really good reason why one kid gets more (has special needs, has had major misfortune, particularly if it is not of his own making). BUT — I don’t actually think parents should be giving their kids money. Loans, sure, but that should be paid back. My mom has loaned all of us money at some point, she aways charges a low rate of interest, and we have all paid her or are currently paying her back.

One thing I’ve read several times in estate planning material is that sometimes parents will leave more to the child who isn’t doing as well. This can be quite a slap in the face to the one or ones who did make something of themselves. The most important point seems to be that these kinds of issues be discussed in advance. Estate battles can really tear a family apart.

The Santa issue is completely different. I love Santa and wouldn’t take it away from my child, but it INFURIATES me when I tell him he can’t have something (or something’s too expensive) and he says “Well I’ll just ask Santa for it”. I was discussing this with a friend, who said she has taught her children that Santa can’t afford all the materials to “make” presents for every single child. So parents have to give Santa the money for the materials. I LOVED this. You get to keep the spirit of Santa alive, without the kids thinking everything just comes for free as if by magic (sort of).

But I can remember not being able to sleep on Christmas night, thinking about Santa. And waiting for the reports on TV of where Santa was (we track him on-line at Norad now). And my family also throws out “reindeer food”. I can’t imagine taking that fun, magical part of Christmas away from my child just to try and teach a lesson on money. If you’re teaching those lessons the other 364 days a year what’s the harm in letting them believe?

All I am saying is that I have not witnessed any negative consequences of a child believing in Santa, and if they enjoy it, why not?

However, if you choose not to have Santa for your kids, that is fine too, but at least consider the social consequences like Trent is doing here.

The biggest opponents to Santa, from what I have seen, are generally conservative Christians. They don’t want their children to believe in something that they cannot see that will bring them “gifts”, but then they go to church on Sunday and ask them to do the same……..??????