I was raised in a household where we didn’t buy ‘it’ toys. It did nothing to help teach me about value or frugality. I will not buy my children every popular item they ask for, but I will use their birthdays and Christmas as times to show them generosity by giving them what they want, (well, some of the things they want).

To teach generosity you have to first show it. As children get older they also begin to understand hard work, saving, investing, etc, if they are given the proper example. I think if we reserve items like ‘it’ toys for special occasions, and ONLY purchase them when we can afford to we are teaching our children a valuable lesson.

Of course kids are going to want things of little value, so do I sometimes. I want to teach my children that it’s alright to splurge every now and then, even if the item only brings momentary pleasure, (as long as it isn’t inherently dangerous). One of the rewards of working hard and living frugally is the freedom to occasionally blow money on items with no long term return.

All things in moderation.

I am so sorry your child is in the trap of tobacco. I was as well for 19 years. It’s tough, but he can quit. You can help. Every tim he smokes, and you know about it, and say nothing, you are repeating the reinforcement that it is okay.

Yes, the marketers have the right to target kids. Also, YES, I have the right to turn the TV off in my home, take my kids home, and tell my kids “NO”. It’s my house. I’m the Dad. Kids will only learn to be as strong as their parents. Be strong for your child. Tell them ‘NO’.

I don’t know anyone with young children, so I’m not sure to what extent this helps with lessening the hype for “it” toys. Certainly all the same toys are available here as elsewhere. It probably has a greater effect on French-speaking children, since anglo children will also be watching TV broadcasts that originate from outside Quebec.

I never wanted any of the it toys growing up so I never saw my parents lose their dignity like that, but I would have lost so much respect for them if I had seen them acting like the people on the news. Even paying an inflated price on eBay is going too far.

Each time parents fall for the “it” toy scam, they are just giving positive reinforcement to the marketers that manufacture the hype.

I had to chuckle a bit at this. You are a new parent so that is something you can say. But, as a parent with three kids (4 – 11), I can tell you that this lesson is lost on them.

They got the toy. They got the momentary joy of having the “in” thing, which will hook them better than any drug. It is no different than an adult who buys the newest “in” tech toy. They can tell themselves that it was bad financial decision but does feel so good for a little while to know that you were the envy of your peers.

Have you read the recent study on how we humans get a more of a thrill if we know we are better off than our peers?

If our child insists that want an “in” toy, we offer to split the cost (whether through allowance or extra chores). It is amazing how quickly children suddenly are not subject to marketing when they have to pay for it. Even as young as 3.

And if they do agree, and the toy turns out to be a dud… well, then there is a lesson in the waste of it. Or if the toy is well used, I learn a lesson that maybe the “it” toy was something they really wanted.

The reason I feel the need to chuckle at your comment is because I have been there… a young parent who is sure that their child will understand the waste without paying for it. If you think this, you have been pulled into yet another marketing ploy.

The problem is that without paying fr it, children can see no negative in the waste. If the toy is not interesting after they get it… ah, well, that is ok. They will get another “it” gift at the next gift giving holiday…

Combating marketing is a proactive thing, not a reactive thing. If you are reactive, the marketing industry has won and they got your dollar (or 10… or 20… or 30…)

@vh: yes, manufacturers do have that right to make their product seem cool and neat. So long as they don’t say it flies and walks the dog when it doesn’t. Those hyped commercials are a good opportunity for a parent to interject their comments on them to their children. Sometimes your voice as a parent is small, but repetition works! And even if it doesn’t, the children will learn by their own experience (my parents sure didn’t sit me down to explain consumerism or interject their comments during my “kiddie” shows as a child) but the more hyped something is, the more likely I am to ignore it until it’s old.

@Monica: No TV ads directed at Children? Do they have “it” toys in Quebec? Are the ads for them directed at their parents? (*finds this fascinating*)

Speaking of what to say to children, I remember my son wanting an “it” toy when he was about 6 or 7. I asked him if he was SURE that the toy was as great as the commercial said it was and he said, “I guess so.. that’s what they said on TV.” Hahahah! I took the opportunity to tell him that commercials are made by the people who want to sell the toy and take your money. Sometimes they make it sound more fun than it is to “trick” you into buying it so they get your money. Later, he and his sister, 3 years younger, were watching TV and a toy commercial came on… Sister said, “I want that!” Brother said, “It’s not really that fun. They’re trying to trick you!!”

I was young at the time of the Cabbage Patch craze and I neither asked for nor received one. That Christmas my parents gave me a quality German-made doll. I think it was a far better present.

Peter

Bottom line: Your child will be the target of marketing for his entire life. You won’t always be able to shield him from it, but you can give him the skills to evaluate hype vs value. Our boy will find an MP3 player under the tree this year, as he requested, and I’m glad that we can be sure he won’t start whining because it isn’t an iPod… and he’ll enjoy a 6 month music subscription we bought with the savings off the trendy product, too.

“I defend the right of marketers and manufacturer’s to try to build the aura of “it” for their products but I equally defend my right, as a mother, to keep my children from being exposed to the media that encourages “it” toys. ”

Really? Do marketers and manufacturers REALLY have a right to target and manipulate small children? Do the REALLY have a right to play on parents’ feelings for their children (one of which, let’s admit it, everyone, is guilt!) to make avid little consumers out of the kiddies? Do they REALLY have a right to come into your home (your car, your shopping places, your schools, your…you name it, you can’t get away from aggressive advertising) to inject themselves into your family dynamics so that they can make money on you and your kids?

I don’t think so. There’s something about “It” marketing frenzies that moves past crassness and reaches immorality.

If you think you can educate your children to resist marketing forces, maybe you should think again. All the time my son was growing up, I tried to discourage him from smoking, and every time we saw an ad I pointed out what was wrong with it, so that yup, he could see through hype. I told him the tobacco peddlers murdered my mother and my father, and that the reason he never met his grandmother is that she died of cancer nine months before he was born. When he was old enough to understand and not be unduly frightened, I explained to him that I still grieved for my mother because of the truly hideous way she died, twenty or thirty years before her time.

He started smoking at 19. He’s now 30. He still smokes. He has tried several times to kick the addiction, but he has failed each time. Because he works for an insurance company and understands the financial implications of divulging the existence of this habit, he refuses to go to doctors, because he is afraid to have any hint that he smokes appear in records available to health insurors.

He certainly recognized hype. It didn’t do him a bit of good.

In retrospect, we merrily bought him every gotta-have-it toy that came out. Maybe if we had taught him that he did not have to possess and do everything the rest of the kids wanted, he would have been better prepared to resist the quite deliberate commercial manipulation of peer pressure when his friends offered him that first cigarette.

Regarding commercialism, it is not difficult to minimize. Personally, I do not have cable and the primary source of television is public broadcasting, which is largely free of advertising. Also, my wife and I set our kids’ expectations: They know they will not receive anything they ask for…

As for entertainment, my children enjoy video games that are free on the internet.

For my six-year old, my wife and I have found that “plug and play” games are fun and inexpensive. A Wii system, plus games, will cost hundreds of dollars. A “plug and play” (found at Wal-Mart and Target) costs $20 or less…