Comments on: The Financial Implications of a Third Child http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:44:30 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Adam http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-158160 Adam Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:06:30 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-158160 According to the USDA estimates here (http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/family/kids/tlkidscost.asp, see footnote), a third child only adds 15% to what it costs to raise two children. If those figures are in any way accurate, you might as well go for it. According to the USDA estimates here (http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/family/kids/tlkidscost.asp, see footnote), a third child only adds 15% to what it costs to raise two children. If those figures are in any way accurate, you might as well go for it.

]]> By: Jane http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-146844 Jane Wed, 02 Jan 2008 03:18:09 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-146844 Speaking from experience...don't space your children so far apart that the youngest feels like they have multiple parents. I have a sister who is 17 years younger than my oldest brother (who died) 12 years younger than my other brother, and 10 years younger than me. She never knew her older brother....so she feels left out from the bond we all had with him. She was 2 when he died. And she is very rebellious and admitts she wishes they never had her so space apart and it affects her. My parents were married 18 years before divorcing...we all grew-up with 2 parents in the home...she can't remember that. She feels like the black sheep..and has issues with feeling connected. Speaking from experience…don’t space your children so far apart that the youngest feels like they have multiple parents. I have a sister who is 17 years younger than my oldest brother (who died) 12 years younger than my other brother, and 10 years younger than me.
She never knew her older brother….so she feels left out from the bond we all had with him. She was 2 when he died. And she is very rebellious and admitts she wishes they never had her so space apart and it affects her. My parents were married 18 years before divorcing…we all grew-up with 2 parents in the home…she can’t remember that. She feels like the black sheep..and has issues with feeling connected.

]]> By: partgypsy http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-141844 partgypsy Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:21:53 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-141844 I disagree with Shevy's statement that adoptions always come with inherent risks. Two of my friends were adopted (both had American mothers) and are good well adjusted members of society, both married with children. I have another friend who has two adopted girls from China. Both girls are wonderful, bright, athletic, and participate in many activities. Another couple we know have 2 children adopted from mid or south american countries) who are also loving children doing well in school. Raising any child is a challenge. If you are interested in foreign adoption, there are some countries with a poor track record, and other countries with a good track record, just do your due diligence in research and talk to other adoptive parents. My view is that having additional children does not just impact us personally, but everyone else on this planet, as the world is already carrying more people than it can reasonably sustain. I do have 2 children but will not have any more because I would like my children to know what rain forests and coral reefs are (and not just from a history book) when they grow up. I disagree with Shevy’s statement that adoptions always come with inherent risks. Two of my friends were adopted (both had American mothers) and are good well adjusted members of society, both married with children. I have another friend who has two adopted girls from China. Both girls are wonderful, bright, athletic, and participate in many activities. Another couple we know have 2 children adopted from mid or south american countries) who are also loving children doing well in school. Raising any child is a challenge. If you are interested in foreign adoption, there are some countries with a poor track record, and other countries with a good track record, just do your due diligence in research and talk to other adoptive parents.
My view is that having additional children does not just impact us personally, but everyone else on this planet, as the world is already carrying more people than it can reasonably sustain. I do have 2 children but will not have any more because I would like my children to know what rain forests and coral reefs are (and not just from a history book) when they grow up.

]]> By: KellyKelly http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-141817 KellyKelly Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:32:42 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-141817 Trent, I'm going to ask a hard question because I think you, of all people, can answer it thoughtfully. When you look at all the posts here encouraging you to go ahead and have a third child, and listing the reasons why ... couldn't those same reasons be given for having 5 or 8 or 12 children? Because, as far as I see it, what we are trying to do here is assign some sort of "value" to a human life. That value is some combination of financial, logistical, risk exposure, etc. In other words, you could frame the question as "Is it more important to provide orthodontia for my kids or create those 3 or 6 additional lives?" Is affording a home in a safe(r) area worth more than another son or daughter? Or violin lessons, or tutoring, or a more reliable vehicle, or an emergency fund cushion to help offset the stress of a leaking roof or job loss, or the ability to buy enough insurance to offset the death (or disability) of you or your wife? I do not have an answer for this question, by the way. I have posed this to a few parents over the years and they have quickly changed the subject. This is a hard calculus. Trent,

I’m going to ask a hard question because I think you, of all people, can answer it thoughtfully.

When you look at all the posts here encouraging you to go ahead and have a third child, and listing the reasons why … couldn’t those same reasons be given for having 5 or 8 or 12 children?

Because, as far as I see it, what we are trying to do here is assign some sort of “value” to a human life. That value is some combination of financial, logistical, risk exposure, etc.

In other words, you could frame the question as “Is it more important to provide orthodontia for my kids or create those 3 or 6 additional lives?”

Is affording a home in a safe(r) area worth more than another son or daughter? Or violin lessons, or tutoring, or a more reliable vehicle, or an emergency fund cushion to help offset the stress of a leaking roof or job loss, or the ability to buy enough insurance to offset the death (or disability) of you or your wife?

I do not have an answer for this question, by the way. I have posed this to a few parents over the years and they have quickly changed the subject.
This is a hard calculus.

]]> By: m00se http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-141415 m00se Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:54:40 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-141415 I would be really interested to see a further breakdown of the costs and various options involved in adoption. Perhaps not for Trent and his family, but for others adoption may be the only way for a couple (or a single individual who chooses) to have children. The costs of adoption are at best daunting, and at worst almost completely prohibitive. A few posts looking into the costs of adoption and potential ways of making it a financially feasible prospect would be welcome. I would be really interested to see a further breakdown of the costs and various options involved in adoption. Perhaps not for Trent and his family, but for others adoption may be the only way for a couple (or a single individual who chooses) to have children. The costs of adoption are at best daunting, and at worst almost completely prohibitive. A few posts looking into the costs of adoption and potential ways of making it a financially feasible prospect would be welcome.

]]> By: Tall Bill http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-140197 Tall Bill Mon, 24 Dec 2007 21:25:44 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-140197 I am adopted at birth. One Sunday after church, I wondered why I had red hair & others did not. It was then at the age of 9 that I learned how loving my parents were as I was the only adopted child. While I have wondered from time to time about my birth parents, one things for certain: I consider it the most wonderful, loving thing that a women can do - that being aware that she was unable to handle me as a child & in a proper way releasing me to a couple who welcomed me into their arms in the loving way. It does not matter if I was a high school dance, parking lot hangout, or whatever, the bottom line is that woman who gave me birth understood issues with raising a child & did the ultimate gift of love. Merry Christmas and or Happy Holidays to all! I am adopted at birth. One Sunday after church, I wondered why I had red hair & others did not. It was then at the age of 9 that I learned how loving my parents were as I was the only adopted child. While I have wondered from time to time about my birth parents, one things for certain: I consider it the most wonderful, loving thing that a women can do – that being aware that she was unable to handle me as a child & in a proper way releasing me to a couple who welcomed me into their arms in the loving way. It does not matter if I was a high school dance, parking lot hangout, or whatever, the bottom line is that woman who gave me birth understood issues with raising a child & did the ultimate gift of love. Merry Christmas and or Happy Holidays to all!

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-140017 Anonymous Mon, 24 Dec 2007 16:47:05 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-140017 Although I have chosen to log in as anonymous, I am a regular reader and often respond to threads. My husband and I had planned to adopt a child and then have a biological child in a few years. The child we adopted turned out to have disablitities that we were totally unaware of at the time of his adoption when he was three months old. They have ended up cosuming every ounce of energy and time that we have and have consumed more financial resources than we have. We are currently have some medical debts that were not covered by our insurance. And we are looking at much much more the older he gets. We are also looking at the possibility that he will not be able to live completely independently as an adult. Needless to say, we have not had a child, nor have we adopted another. So if you chose to do so, please consider it carefully. It could very well take financial resources away from the children you've already got. Yes, as stated, you could have a child with issues. But if you adopt, chances are pretty high that you will. Although I have chosen to log in as anonymous, I am a regular reader and often respond to threads. My husband and I had planned to adopt a child and then have a biological child in a few years. The child we adopted turned out to have disablitities that we were totally unaware of at the time of his adoption when he was three months old. They have ended up cosuming every ounce of energy and time that we have and have consumed more financial resources than we have. We are currently have some medical debts that were not covered by our insurance. And we are looking at much much more the older he gets. We are also looking at the possibility that he will not be able to live completely independently as an adult.

Needless to say, we have not had a child, nor have we adopted another. So if you chose to do so, please consider it carefully. It could very well take financial resources away from the children you’ve already got. Yes, as stated, you could have a child with issues. But if you adopt, chances are pretty high that you will.

]]> By: MInTheGap http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139950 MInTheGap Mon, 24 Dec 2007 15:05:41 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139950 I think it's a great question to ask, Trent, because so many people use this as an excuse rather than a reason. While I can appreciate your reasoning, I would have to disagree. When you go to plan for retirement, you plan a 401K, pension, etc. You know that sacrificing money now will be worth it in the future because of compounded interest over time will yield great benefits in the long run. While imperfect, this example applies on two levels: 1. Investing in people yields much more than investing in stocks. Children will provide love, care, companionship, etc. for your entire life. Children will help take care of you in retirement. You'll never regret having another child. 2. Rarely has anything worth doing not had a cost associated with it. You sacrifice some things to make sure that you stay out of debt, that you have college savings or retirement. Children learn best when everything is not provided for them. Take a look at the wealthy among us-- those that "could afford to have kids" and what they do with their money. Many are structuring it so as not to spoil their children. In fact, many children that have done something with their lives have done so because they have been willing to live below their means and to work hard. That, and some of what the others say about the opportunity to raise your own children is why my wife has been with our children since we've had them, and we'll probably be homeschooling them as well. But it is your choice, and you're in the best position to make it-- just food for thought! :) Merry Christmas! I think it’s a great question to ask, Trent, because so many people use this as an excuse rather than a reason. While I can appreciate your reasoning, I would have to disagree.

When you go to plan for retirement, you plan a 401K, pension, etc. You know that sacrificing money now will be worth it in the future because of compounded interest over time will yield great benefits in the long run.

While imperfect, this example applies on two levels:

1. Investing in people yields much more than investing in stocks. Children will provide love, care, companionship, etc. for your entire life. Children will help take care of you in retirement. You’ll never regret having another child.

2. Rarely has anything worth doing not had a cost associated with it. You sacrifice some things to make sure that you stay out of debt, that you have college savings or retirement. Children learn best when everything is not provided for them. Take a look at the wealthy among us– those that “could afford to have kids” and what they do with their money. Many are structuring it so as not to spoil their children. In fact, many children that have done something with their lives have done so because they have been willing to live below their means and to work hard.

That, and some of what the others say about the opportunity to raise your own children is why my wife has been with our children since we’ve had them, and we’ll probably be homeschooling them as well.

But it is your choice, and you’re in the best position to make it– just food for thought! :)

Merry Christmas!

]]> By: BigRed http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139901 BigRed Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:57:08 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139901 Thanks Shevy for presenting several facets of a very complex issue. My brother and I are both adopted (as infants, which is not the easiest trick these days in the US) from separate Children's Homes (he in Portland, OR, and me in Memphis TN), so I have a warm spot in my heart for anyone who wants to give a child a home--I also comprehend the statement "There but for the grace of God go I" in a particularly deep way. With a different adoptive family, I could have been a very different person--I have great parents, and was raised with very high expectations--graduated from college, went on to get my doctorate in Chemistry, have a stable 19-year marriage to my best friend, and 2 wonderful kids, and a very satisfying job. However, my brother, raised by the same parents until age 10 (my folks separated and divorced after 14 years of marriage), turned out completely differently. So, who knows--nature or nurture? Trent and his wife appear to have a remarkable capacity for objectivity when making decisions, including the emotional ones. And, adoption (as with conception and childbirth) should be no exception. Infant adoption in the US is reputed (I'll admit I have not researched this myself) to be more challenging--long wait lists (if you want to have kids closely spaced, this might not be a possibility), a desire in some cases for "open adoption" (birth parents retain some visitation and other rights, which has got to be hard for all parties), etc. Adopting older kids has a whole string of other problems, ranging from physical to emotional to mental. If you go this route, I would strongly suggest family counseling pre- and post-adoption. As brutal as it sounds,adoption of preteens and teenagers is probably something that should only be done if there are not younger siblings in the home. Some of these kids have been abused, exposed to drugs or alcohol or violence, and there's a whole world out there with which you and your family really don't want to become familiar. Would strongly suggest that anyone looking to adopt or foster older kids have some serious, no-holds-barred discussions with social services case managers, and with experienced foster/adoptive parents. There are issues that you can't anticipate unless you've been in their shoes, and you need to enter into a lifelong decision with as much information as possible. Good luck with the decision, Trent! Thanks Shevy for presenting several facets of a very complex issue. My brother and I are both adopted (as infants, which is not the easiest trick these days in the US) from separate Children’s Homes (he in Portland, OR, and me in Memphis TN), so I have a warm spot in my heart for anyone who wants to give a child a home–I also comprehend the statement “There but for the grace of God go I” in a particularly deep way. With a different adoptive family, I could have been a very different person–I have great parents, and was raised with very high expectations–graduated from college, went on to get my doctorate in Chemistry, have a stable 19-year marriage to my best friend, and 2 wonderful kids, and a very satisfying job. However, my brother, raised by the same parents until age 10 (my folks separated and divorced after 14 years of marriage), turned out completely differently. So, who knows–nature or nurture?

Trent and his wife appear to have a remarkable capacity for objectivity when making decisions, including the emotional ones. And, adoption (as with conception and childbirth) should be no exception. Infant adoption in the US is reputed (I’ll admit I have not researched this myself) to be more challenging–long wait lists (if you want to have kids closely spaced, this might not be a possibility), a desire in some cases for “open adoption” (birth parents retain some visitation and other rights, which has got to be hard for all parties), etc.

Adopting older kids has a whole string of other problems, ranging from physical to emotional to mental. If you go this route, I would strongly suggest family counseling pre- and post-adoption.

As brutal as it sounds,adoption of preteens and teenagers is probably something that should only be done if there are not younger siblings in the home. Some of these kids have been abused, exposed to drugs or alcohol or violence, and there’s a whole world out there with which you and your family really don’t want to become familiar.

Would strongly suggest that anyone looking to adopt or foster older kids have some serious, no-holds-barred discussions with social services case managers, and with experienced foster/adoptive parents. There are issues that you can’t anticipate unless you’ve been in their shoes, and you need to enter into a lifelong decision with as much information as possible.

Good luck with the decision, Trent!

]]> By: Steve W http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139650 Steve W Mon, 24 Dec 2007 03:00:36 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139650 I have 5 children b/t 4 and 12. There are pluses and minuses. Yes, its a financial burden, but it has forced us to live more frugally. If we had only two or three, we might be in the same financial place, just more wasteful. One "hidden" issue is that our society is geared toward 2-children families, which manifests itself in many subtle ways -- try having five kids in 4 different age divisions playing soccer on a Sat. all over the county. Or hire a babysitter ($10 an hour); Baby-sitting coop? Out of the question. Those $200-a-pop birthday parties that almost all kids have today that we never had growing up? Multiply that by five and you can guess how many we have.... I have 5 children b/t 4 and 12. There are pluses and minuses. Yes, its a financial burden, but it has forced us to live more frugally. If we had only two or three, we might be in the same financial place, just more wasteful.

One “hidden” issue is that our society is geared toward 2-children families, which manifests itself in many subtle ways — try having five kids in 4 different age divisions playing soccer on a Sat. all over the county. Or hire a babysitter ($10 an hour); Baby-sitting coop? Out of the question. Those $200-a-pop birthday parties that almost all kids have today that we never had growing up? Multiply that by five and you can guess how many we have….

]]> By: Fathersez http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139635 Fathersez Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:18:49 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139635 My wife and I never analysed this issue. The first two children were born quite close together. Then we had another 3 after a space of 7 years. It may be expensive to feed 5 hungry mouths and all that, but somehow, new doors have also opened for us along the way. No regrets at all. We just thank God that we have been blessed with normal, healthy and active children. My wife and I never analysed this issue. The first two children were born quite close together.

Then we had another 3 after a space of 7 years.

It may be expensive to feed 5 hungry mouths and all that, but somehow, new doors have also opened for us along the way.

No regrets at all.

We just thank God that we have been blessed with normal, healthy and active children.

]]> By: Shevy http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139631 Shevy Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:02:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139631 I just wanted to reiterate that I'm *not* negative about adoption. I think it can be a wonderful, life-changing experience for both parents and children. I remember how deeply affected I was by the documentary "Who Are the Debolts and How Did They Get 19 Children". I know people who have successfully adopted children, including foreign children of very different ethnicity and children with serious physical/developmental issues. I only intended to point out something that is not as widely known as it should be, even though it should be a matter of common sense. The vast majority of children who are put up for adoption these days are children who are born with extremely serious health and development issues, some of which are not obvious during infancy. Adoptions of toddlers and older children almost always involve emotional issues. Anyone contemplating adoption should take these matters into careful consideration. If you feel you are capable of dealing with all the possible ramifications, then by all means you should adopt. If you couldn't deal with any of the likely scenarios, then you shouldn't. It isn't fair to anyone involved to do otherwise. And fostering is a wonderful, wonderful idea. Many children will never be free for adoption for various legal reasons, but they still need a good stable home. I just wanted to reiterate that I’m *not* negative about adoption. I think it can be a wonderful, life-changing experience for both parents and children.

I remember how deeply affected I was by the documentary “Who Are the Debolts and How Did They Get 19 Children”. I know people who have successfully adopted children, including foreign children of very different ethnicity and children with serious physical/developmental issues.

I only intended to point out something that is not as widely known as it should be, even though it should be a matter of common sense. The vast majority of children who are put up for adoption these days are children who are born with extremely serious health and development issues, some of which are not obvious during infancy. Adoptions of toddlers and older children almost always involve emotional issues.

Anyone contemplating adoption should take these matters into careful consideration. If you feel you are capable of dealing with all the possible ramifications, then by all means you should adopt. If you couldn’t deal with any of the likely scenarios, then you shouldn’t. It isn’t fair to anyone involved to do otherwise.

And fostering is a wonderful, wonderful idea. Many children will never be free for adoption for various legal reasons, but they still need a good stable home.

]]> By: Suzanne http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-2/#comment-139628 Suzanne Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:55:11 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139628 Very interesting! I have two younger sisters and we were all born within 2 3/4 years. Because odd numbers can be difficult, I'd encourage you to wait another year or two and have two more of your own. This will spread out the financial impact and I know I'm terribly old-fashioned but I think those who are able to have healthy children of their own should do so. I believe adoption is wonderful and most successful for those who are unable to have their own. The risks of the adoptive child bringing problems that affect your other two children are just too great. Without even considering medical problems, the state of mind of the pregnant mother greatly affects the child. The world has a lot of problems these days and I believe you are the type of parents who can raise exceptionally healthy children who can be our leaders tomorrow. So take a little break--2 years between pregnancies will give your wife's body time to rejuvenate and be ready to do it all over again! (We had only one daughter who is in her 20's now and turned out to be fantastic in every way; my only regret is that we didn't have more. One is an odd number and she did require more energy than two would have but maybe that's what she needed to thrive as she did.) Very interesting! I have two younger sisters and we were all born within 2 3/4 years. Because odd numbers can be difficult, I’d encourage you to wait another year or two and have two more of your own. This will spread out the financial impact and I know I’m terribly old-fashioned but I think those who are able to have healthy children of their own should do so. I believe adoption is wonderful and most successful for those who are unable to have their own. The risks of the adoptive child bringing problems that affect your other two children are just too great. Without even considering medical problems, the state of mind of the pregnant mother greatly affects the child. The world has a lot of problems these days and I believe you are the type of parents who can raise exceptionally healthy children who can be our leaders tomorrow. So take a little break–2 years between pregnancies will give your wife’s body time to rejuvenate and be ready to do it all over again! (We had only one daughter who is in her 20’s now and turned out to be fantastic in every way; my only regret is that we didn’t have more. One is an odd number and she did require more energy than two would have but maybe that’s what she needed to thrive as she did.)

]]> By: one of nine http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139617 one of nine Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:35:49 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139617 This is a great duscussion but I am surprised that in a situation where frugality is so highly valued that money would be a huge issue. Many kids with wise, frugal parents don't even know the grew up poor until they are out of the home making a life for themself (I'm one of them). I have eight siblings and I am grateful for each one of them from the bottom of my soul. We were poor but we were so happy. We didn't lack any material good and we didn't have the best of anything. I'd rather my children learn to live without than be miserable because they didn't get the iPod or Wii they wanted for Christmas. Living without teaches children so many important values that can't be learned in other ways. I hope to have a family of at least 4 children (my own and adopted) and my husband and I are not worried about being able to provide for them financially. My parents couldn't afford to send any of us to college but four of us are college grads thanks to student loans and scholarships. I don't agree with parents handing their children a college education. If kids don't have a sense of the value of education and have a part in working towards it, they will often take it for granted-- moreso than those who have to work their way through and actually apply for scholarships. I guess I just find it a little annoying to hear people worrying about not being able to give their kids "enough." What's enough??? Who knows? This is a great duscussion but I am surprised that in a situation where frugality is so highly valued that money would be a huge issue. Many kids with wise, frugal parents don’t even know the grew up poor until they are out of the home making a life for themself (I’m one of them). I have eight siblings and I am grateful for each one of them from the bottom of my soul. We were poor but we were so happy. We didn’t lack any material good and we didn’t have the best of anything. I’d rather my children learn to live without than be miserable because they didn’t get the iPod or Wii they wanted for Christmas. Living without teaches children so many important values that can’t be learned in other ways.

I hope to have a family of at least 4 children (my own and adopted) and my husband and I are not worried about being able to provide for them financially. My parents couldn’t afford to send any of us to college but four of us are college grads thanks to student loans and scholarships. I don’t agree with parents handing their children a college education. If kids don’t have a sense of the value of education and have a part in working towards it, they will often take it for granted– moreso than those who have to work their way through and actually apply for scholarships.

I guess I just find it a little annoying to hear people worrying about not being able to give their kids “enough.” What’s enough??? Who knows?

]]> By: kay http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139575 kay Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:17:39 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139575 I have enjoyed your blog, and it is interesting that you pose this question at about the same time we were discussing the long-term impacts of this question: specifically, the environmental impacts of this. It is another "Inconvenient Truth" that more people means more energy use and more global warming. Deciding to have another child means to literally exponentially increase your impact on the environment. One more child isn't really "one" more person-- it is 150% what it takes to maintain the present population level. Do you recycle? Try to save energy by shutting off lights or unused electrical items? Convert to more energy efficient appliances and light bulbs? Well, deciding to have another child has far more of an impact on the earth than any of those activities. Even the size of vehicle it takes to comfortably go visit Granny (or go to church, a school program etc.) is unfavorably impacted by deciding "one more". Is that sad that it is a financially impacted decision? No, thank goodness for our world population, it is not. Adoption is a great option, but moving a child from a community that treads lightly on the earth to our current community has the same impact as bringing another person into the world. That doesn't mean don't do it... just look at the big picture. I adopted my second (and final) child. She is one of the joys of my life. Good luck deciding..... keep in mind, I love my husband, but that doesn't mean I need a second or third. Kay I have enjoyed your blog, and it is interesting that you pose this question at about the same time we were discussing the long-term impacts of this question: specifically, the environmental impacts of this. It is another “Inconvenient Truth” that more people means more energy use and more global warming. Deciding to have another child means to literally exponentially increase your impact on the environment. One more child isn’t really “one” more person– it is 150% what it takes to maintain the present population level.

Do you recycle? Try to save energy by shutting off lights or unused electrical items? Convert to more energy efficient appliances and light bulbs? Well, deciding to have another child has far more of an impact on the earth than any of those activities. Even the size of vehicle it takes to comfortably go visit Granny (or go to church, a school program etc.) is unfavorably impacted by deciding “one more”.

Is that sad that it is a financially impacted decision? No, thank goodness for our world population, it is not.

Adoption is a great option, but moving a child from a community that treads lightly on the earth to our current community has the same impact as bringing another person into the world. That doesn’t mean don’t do it… just look at the big picture. I adopted my second (and final) child. She is one of the joys of my life.
Good luck deciding….. keep in mind, I love my husband, but that doesn’t mean I need a second or third.
Kay

]]> By: KellyKelly http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139497 KellyKelly Sun, 23 Dec 2007 21:48:46 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139497 Dissenting opinion here (somebody has to post one). My mother is a very gentle, sweet, elderly lady. I asked her recently what, if she could go back and change anything about parenthood, she would change. She said they would have stopped at two children. I am the fourth born. I was NOT offended by her comment -- I know that she loves me deeply. I also know how hard her life was. Just my two cents. Dissenting opinion here (somebody has to post one).

My mother is a very gentle, sweet, elderly lady. I asked her recently what, if she could go back and change anything about parenthood, she would change.

She said they would have stopped at two children.

I am the fourth born. I was NOT offended by her comment — I know that she loves me deeply. I also know how hard her life was.

Just my two cents.

]]> By: Grace http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139492 Grace Sun, 23 Dec 2007 21:34:31 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139492 How lovely that you and your wife are contemplating adoption. How sad that Shevy and others are so very negative on the subject. I say that as the adoptive mother of five children adopted from foster care, many of whom do have serious emotional issues. Of course, you need to think carefully about a decision to adopt a child. Of course, you need to read widely. Of course, there will be problems. But there is also considerable joy. All of my adoptions are successful (Four of my five kids are now adults) though one child is not leading a very successful adult life. Money is the least of your problems in a foster-care adoption--homestudies are free or reimbursable, attorney fees are reimbursable, you get monthly aid (though I found it closer to $500 a child than the $800 Andy posited) and a medicaid card. There's also a one-time tax credit per child than can be spread over several years if you don't need it in the year you adopt. One caution--good adoption practice says to not adopt a child older than your youngest child. It's not advice that is always followed, but it should be. How lovely that you and your wife are contemplating adoption. How sad that Shevy and others are so very negative on the subject. I say that as the adoptive mother of five children adopted from foster care, many of whom do have serious emotional issues. Of course, you need to think carefully about a decision to adopt a child. Of course, you need to read widely. Of course, there will be problems. But there is also considerable joy. All of my adoptions are successful (Four of my five kids are now adults) though one child is not leading a very successful adult life. Money is the least of your problems in a foster-care adoption–homestudies are free or reimbursable, attorney fees are reimbursable, you get monthly aid (though I found it closer to $500 a child than the $800 Andy posited) and a medicaid card. There’s also a one-time tax credit per child than can be spread over several years if you don’t need it in the year you adopt. One caution–good adoption practice says to not adopt a child older than your youngest child. It’s not advice that is always followed, but it should be.

]]> By: Nancy http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139426 Nancy Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:36:52 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139426 Wow! Great post! If only everyone would put the consideration you did BEFORE they had children. I have not had children because I never felt I would be able to financially support them. Why that doesn't stop other people, I don't know. Guess they figure they can get help from the government.(So all of us who didn't have children still get to pay for those who did and can't afford them.) Wow! Great post! If only everyone would put the consideration you did BEFORE they had children. I have not had children because I never felt I would be able to financially support them. Why that doesn’t stop other people, I don’t know. Guess they figure they can get help from the government.(So all of us who didn’t have children still get to pay for those who did and can’t afford them.)

]]> By: feefifoto http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139422 feefifoto Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:24:43 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139422 Taking the financial aspects into consideration is very wise. but, I've found that the joys of knowing my children balances out the extra costs and commitments. It sounds like you lean the same direction. Best of luck to you. Taking the financial aspects into consideration is very wise. but, I’ve found that the joys of knowing my children balances out the extra costs and commitments. It sounds like you lean the same direction. Best of luck to you.

]]> By: Danielle http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/comment-page-1/#comment-139384 Danielle Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:09:29 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/12/22/the-financial-implications-of-a-third-child/#comment-139384 Happy Pre-Christmas Trent! What a beautiful topic to discuss so close to the holiday. On 12/27/04, I found out I was (unexpectedly) pregnant for the second time. Only later did I found out there was not one, but 2 babies! So watch out, you may go for #3 but end up with 3 and 4! That being said, I don't know if I would have become a mother of 3 by choice, but now that they are here, I wouldn't want it any other way. My children are close in age (dd-4 ds-2 ds-2) and they are at the same stage, they play together, run around together, etc. Financially it is only really coming into play now. As infants they wore (and still wear) 90% hand me downs and I breastfed and cloth diaper. I buy their toys and needs at yard sales. Now that the boys are older they are determined to eat me out of house and home and will continue to do so for the next 16+ years!- that is the toughest part- staying on food budget! Although we are saving a little for college, we are hoping for some financial aid with 3 kids in college for 2 years simultaneously, and that a rental property we are purchasing now can provide much needed cash flow that we can allocate for that. I have also always worked part time around 10 hours a week since the birth of my daughter, I plan to go back full time once daycare will not be full time. I guess I should just say go for it- somehow, you always find the money, these things all happen for a reason. Good luck! Danielle Happy Pre-Christmas Trent!

What a beautiful topic to discuss so close to the holiday. On 12/27/04, I found out I was (unexpectedly) pregnant for the second time. Only later did I found out there was not one, but 2 babies! So watch out, you may go for #3 but end up with 3 and 4!

That being said, I don’t know if I would have become a mother of 3 by choice, but now that they are here, I wouldn’t want it any other way. My children are close in age (dd-4 ds-2 ds-2) and they are at the same stage, they play together, run around together, etc.

Financially it is only really coming into play now. As infants they wore (and still wear) 90% hand me downs and I breastfed and cloth diaper. I buy their toys and needs at yard sales. Now that the boys are older they are determined to eat me out of house and home and will continue to do so for the next 16+ years!- that is the toughest part- staying on food budget!

Although we are saving a little for college, we are hoping for some financial aid with 3 kids in college for 2 years simultaneously, and that a rental property we are purchasing now can provide much needed cash flow that we can allocate for that.

I have also always worked part time around 10 hours a week since the birth of my daughter, I plan to go back full time once daycare will not be full time.

I guess I should just say go for it- somehow, you always find the money, these things all happen for a reason.
Good luck!
Danielle

]]>