Comments on: Misery is not Miserly: Breaking the Connection Between Spending and Sadness http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:46:00 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Young Investor http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-182488 Young Investor Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:48:00 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-182488 Hi Trent, This article did bring up a good point. That people attempt to solve their emotional problems by either spending money, eating or indulging in doing a certain thing that doesn't really serve them, but makes them feel better. I think the sad people were spending more money, because spending more money made them feel better. Or maybe, watching the sad movie, created a certain emotional need in them. It caused them to want something and spending on certain products could relieve that. isn't that what advertising is all about anyways? Creating or defining a problem and then helping the customer to solve it? Are sales men just problem solvers? With that being said i think people that have problems with emotional spending, should resort to other means of fulfilling that emotional need, that doesn't cause so much damage to their lives. Young Investor http://www.investmentrealty.blogspot.com Hi Trent,
This article did bring up a good point. That people attempt to solve their emotional problems by either spending money, eating or indulging in doing a certain thing that doesn’t really serve them, but makes them feel better.

I think the sad people were spending more money, because spending more money made them feel better.

Or maybe, watching the sad movie, created a certain emotional need in them. It caused them to want something and spending on certain products could relieve that.

isn’t that what advertising is all about anyways? Creating or defining a problem and then helping the customer to solve it? Are sales men just problem solvers?

With that being said i think people that have problems with emotional spending, should resort to other means of fulfilling that emotional need, that doesn’t cause so much damage to their lives.

Young Investor

http://www.investmentrealty.blogspot.com

]]> By: Ashley http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-181590 Ashley Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:19:24 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-181590 jm, first of all if you read the article, the subjects involved got a real $10.00 for thier participation... I think I just need to take more vitamin D, lol! jm, first of all if you read the article, the subjects involved got a real $10.00 for thier participation…

I think I just need to take more vitamin D, lol!

]]> By: jm http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-181024 jm Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:13:25 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-181024 "Afterwards, they were given money and allowed to buy products with it. The people who viewed sad clips were willing to spend significantly more money (as much as 300% more) to buy the same items as the people who watched a neutral clip. In effect, the study demonstrated that sad people spend money frivolously." Not that I don't believe there is a link between emotion and sadness -- I do, but if someone gives you fake $300 in an experiment, wouldn't you have less qualms in general about spending it than if you had earned that money yourself for real? It doesn't sound like they had the option to keep the money, or use it to pay bills or something. In that situation, I would probably spend it all too. The fact that the sad people spent more on the same items could also easily be explained by simply watching The Price Is Right -- most people have no idea how much any given thing is supposed to cost. Seems like a flawed study to me. “Afterwards, they were given money and allowed to buy products with it. The people who viewed sad clips were willing to spend significantly more money (as much as 300% more) to buy the same items as the people who watched a neutral clip. In effect, the study demonstrated that sad people spend money frivolously.”

Not that I don’t believe there is a link between emotion and sadness — I do, but if someone gives you fake $300 in an experiment, wouldn’t you have less qualms in general about spending it than if you had earned that money yourself for real? It doesn’t sound like they had the option to keep the money, or use it to pay bills or something. In that situation, I would probably spend it all too.

The fact that the sad people spent more on the same items could also easily be explained by simply watching The Price Is Right — most people have no idea how much any given thing is supposed to cost.

Seems like a flawed study to me.

]]> By: Lenore http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180901 Lenore Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:47:32 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180901 I wish I had known this when I was clinically depressed, before I maxed out my credit cards and had to file bankruptcy. I felt so dismal that I dined out all the time and bought cute, childish things in a vain attempt to cheer myself up. My house was overflowing with pets, toys and expensive dolls, yet I remained miserable most of the time. I hated spending money on psychiatric help, but it's the only thing that got me out of that rut. I still struggle with cravings for "retail therapy," but resources like The Simple Dollar help me stay on track and out of trouble. Thanks, Trent, for providing this forum and sharing your inspirations. You're saving a lot more than money. I wish I had known this when I was clinically depressed, before I maxed out my credit cards and had to file bankruptcy. I felt so dismal that I dined out all the time and bought cute, childish things in a vain attempt to cheer myself up. My house was overflowing with pets, toys and expensive dolls, yet I remained miserable most of the time. I hated spending money on psychiatric help, but it’s the only thing that got me out of that rut. I still struggle with cravings for “retail therapy,” but resources like The Simple Dollar help me stay on track and out of trouble. Thanks, Trent, for providing this forum and sharing your inspirations. You’re saving a lot more than money.

]]> By: phoTomatic http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180554 phoTomatic Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:37:24 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180554 I thought they did a study previously that showed spending released endorphines. It's like fat people eating sweets. They know they shouldn't..but if feels soooo good. When I'm sad, I exercise. I get endorphine release, stress reduction, and a much tighter butt. I thought they did a study previously that showed spending released endorphines. It’s like fat people eating sweets. They know they shouldn’t..but if feels soooo good.

When I’m sad, I exercise. I get endorphine release, stress reduction, and a much tighter butt.

]]> By: RC http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180538 RC Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:19:04 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180538 I think you hit the nail on the head that "awareness" is the key. If you don't know that you are in that state of mind, you will probably not realize you are spending more. www.thinkyourwaytowealth.com I think you hit the nail on the head that “awareness” is the key. If you don’t know that you are in that state of mind, you will probably not realize you are spending more.

http://www.thinkyourwaytowealth.com

]]> By: dislike statistics http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180452 dislike statistics Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:00:54 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180452 I'm guilty of this. I got my poor midterm score back today, and instead of going to the library to study, I went off to the department store and shopped. I ended up spending $22(cash) on two pairs of career slacks. I, however, don't think I wasted any money... I see today's spending as some kind of investment. I’m guilty of this. I got my poor midterm score back today, and instead of going to the library to study, I went off to the department store and shopped. I ended up spending $22(cash) on two pairs of career slacks. I, however, don’t think I wasted any money… I see today’s spending as some kind of investment.

]]> By: Matt http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180247 Matt Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:54:41 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180247 I don't think they really needed a big study to come to these conclusions; there's a reason it's called "Shopping Therapy". I know I've done it in the past and I've recently started stopping my purchases before they were made. I just ask myself do I really need this item? If I don't I reason myself into not spending the money; now if I had money to burn this might be a completely different story. I don’t think they really needed a big study to come to these conclusions; there’s a reason it’s called “Shopping Therapy”. I know I’ve done it in the past and I’ve recently started stopping my purchases before they were made. I just ask myself do I really need this item? If I don’t I reason myself into not spending the money; now if I had money to burn this might be a completely different story.

]]> By: kj http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180188 kj Tue, 12 Feb 2008 20:43:37 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180188 i am another person to whom the article reminded "emotional eating". it makes percet sense if it is put this way - just needs thinking when the actual situation happens. i am another person to whom the article reminded “emotional eating”. it makes percet sense if it is put this way – just needs thinking when the actual situation happens.

]]> By: Dee http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180153 Dee Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:44:00 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180153 I liked to go shopping when I was sad/lonely because in the mall it was ok to be alone, shopping, but I was still surrounded by people and felt like I was part of something. I liked to go shopping when I was sad/lonely because in the mall it was ok to be alone, shopping, but I was still surrounded by people and felt like I was part of something.

]]> By: Tyler Corlen http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180124 Tyler Corlen Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:08:28 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180124 I think a lot of people turn to buying for the same reason people turn to eating. That intial "high" felt when eating a donut (when they shoudn't) or buying something that is not needed is probably very similar! I think a lot of people turn to buying for the same reason people turn to eating. That intial “high” felt when eating a donut (when they shoudn’t) or buying something that is not needed is probably very similar!

]]> By: overcoming overspending http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180074 overcoming overspending Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:10:31 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180074 No wonder I got myself into so much consumer debt in the last 5 years, being in an unhappy and unfullfilling marraige. Now that I am separated, on the way to being divorced and am MUCH happier, I am spending way less!! Ah HA! I see now that I was trying to fill my life up with spending to make up for being unhappy. No wonder I got myself into so much consumer debt in the last 5 years, being in an unhappy and unfullfilling marraige. Now that I am separated, on the way to being divorced and am MUCH happier, I am spending way less!! Ah HA! I see now that I was trying to fill my life up with spending to make up for being unhappy.

]]> By: Andre K http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180069 Andre K Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:04:49 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180069 From the film <i>Roger Dodger</i>: Nick: Like, what do you do all day? Roger: What do I do all day? I sit here and think of ways to make people feel bad. Nick: I thought you wrote commercials. Roger: I do. But you can't sell a product without first making people feel bad. Nick: Why not? Roger: Because it's a substitution game. You have to remind them that there's something missing from their lives. Everyone's missing something, right? Nick: Well, yeah, I guess. Roger: Trust me. And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete, you can convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill that void. So instead of taking steps to deal with their lives, instead of working to root out the real reason for their misery, they run out and buy a stupid pair of cargo pants. From the film Roger Dodger:

Nick: Like, what do you do all day?
Roger: What do I do all day? I sit here and think of ways to make people feel bad.
Nick: I thought you wrote commercials.
Roger: I do. But you can’t sell a product without first making people feel bad.
Nick: Why not?
Roger: Because it’s a substitution game. You have to remind them that there’s something missing from their lives. Everyone’s missing something, right?
Nick: Well, yeah, I guess.
Roger: Trust me. And when they’re feeling sufficiently incomplete, you can convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill that void. So instead of taking steps to deal with their lives, instead of working to root out the real reason for their misery, they run out and buy a stupid pair of cargo pants.

]]> By: Carrie at Natural Moms Talk Radio http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180067 Carrie at Natural Moms Talk Radio Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:02:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180067 This is one of those things that is so obvious once it's pointed out, but all truth is. I just left a comment on another PF blog about gas and spending less on gas. I made the observation that when I was unhappy and lonely and mildly depressed, I had to leave the house every day. So I spent more money (gas, coffee, eating out, misc). Now that I'm happier I'm loathe to even leave the house. I love being at home. So I save more. We're probably either seeking to medicate our feelings with STUFF or trying to at least be around other people - and an easy way to do that is to shop. But it's not the solution. Great post! This is one of those things that is so obvious once it’s pointed out, but all truth is.

I just left a comment on another PF blog about gas and spending less on gas. I made the observation that when I was unhappy and lonely and mildly depressed, I had to leave the house every day. So I spent more money (gas, coffee, eating out, misc).

Now that I’m happier I’m loathe to even leave the house. I love being at home. So I save more.

We’re probably either seeking to medicate our feelings with STUFF or trying to at least be around other people – and an easy way to do that is to shop. But it’s not the solution.

Great post!

]]> By: GTS http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180017 GTS Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:19:55 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180017 Tyler Durden: "The things you own end up owning you." Tyler Durden:
“The things you own end up owning you.”

]]> By: d.a. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-180016 d.a. Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:19:02 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-180016 It's not called "retail therapy" for nuthin'!! It’s not called “retail therapy” for nuthin’!!

]]> By: threadbndr http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-179990 threadbndr Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:54:20 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-179990 When I was newly widowed, the BEST advice I got was "don't make ANY financial decision (other than keeping the bills paid and the funeral expenses) for 6 months to a year." The study is right, you get a little (and sometimes a LOT) irrational in the grieving process. Luckily, I headed the advice for the most part (we had been in the middle of refinancing the house to make some needed repairs and I did take care of that.) But there was one lady in my widow's group that blew completely through her late husband's insurance in just a few months! When I was newly widowed, the BEST advice I got was “don’t make ANY financial decision (other than keeping the bills paid and the funeral expenses) for 6 months to a year.”

The study is right, you get a little (and sometimes a LOT) irrational in the grieving process.

Luckily, I headed the advice for the most part (we had been in the middle of refinancing the house to make some needed repairs and I did take care of that.) But there was one lady in my widow’s group that blew completely through her late husband’s insurance in just a few months!

]]> By: steve http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-179980 steve Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:40:15 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-179980 +1 for "why didn't they test other emotions?" +1 for “why didn’t they test other emotions?”

]]> By: Never the Same River Twice http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-179945 Never the Same River Twice Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:53:18 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-179945 I really like the smiley face on the credit card suggestion. Having a physical artifact to prompt mindfulness is a great technique. When people are working on thinking more positively, I often recommend that they wear a rubber band or bracelet on their wrist. Whenever they become aware of negative thoughts, the rule is to simply move the bracelet to the other wrist. It's amazing how quickly this works. I suspect the smiley face sticker or something similar could have the same effect. I really like the smiley face on the credit card suggestion. Having a physical artifact to prompt mindfulness is a great technique.

When people are working on thinking more positively, I often recommend that they wear a rubber band or bracelet on their wrist. Whenever they become aware of negative thoughts, the rule is to simply move the bracelet to the other wrist. It’s amazing how quickly this works. I suspect the smiley face sticker or something similar could have the same effect.

]]> By: Ron@TheWisdomJournal http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/comment-page-1/#comment-179938 Ron@TheWisdomJournal Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:44:49 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/02/12/misery-is-not-miserly-breaking-the-connection-between-spending-and-sadness/#comment-179938 Seems like a downward spiral. Sadness begets poor financial decisions which makes you even more sad because you have nothing. If you base your happiness on your possessions, you'll always be sad because you'll always want more. Seems like a downward spiral. Sadness begets poor financial decisions which makes you even more sad because you have nothing.

If you base your happiness on your possessions, you’ll always be sad because you’ll always want more.

]]>