Comments on: Reader Mailbag #3

By: kentuckyliz

kentuckyliz — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:56:51 +0000

For those with parents who save nothing for retirement and are spendthrifts: they are behaving as though they want to be poor and dependent on the government in their old age. So be it.

You have a duty to honor your parents by making sure they have the basic needs of life–if that’s Section 8 housing and food stamps, then it’s taken care of. You can’t afford to run your own family and foot the bill for their lifestyle too.

They really want to steal from their grandchildren? Because that’s what it boils down to…you could pay the bills for the dependent parents, or you could save/invest for your retirement and pay for your kids’ college–that’s what they’re stealing.

Prioritize your own family’s needs first. If the parent comes asking for money, tell them what you can afford to share each month in your budget. It’s their problem to solve to go begging from everyone and arranging their own lives.

I thought Canada had generous social welfare and free health care? Why would you pay medical bills for your relatives if health care is free? Why wouldn’t the government take care of them?

By: d gasawa

d gasawa — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:21:45 +0000

You might add to your list of parenting books later… The Father’s Almanac and The Mother’s Almanac, just for fun. It’s been so long I don’t have the authors at hand, sorry.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:56:13 +0000

Thanks for being open to discuss just about anything Trent. As for questions, I have a few…
How do you deal with family that has no interest in taking fiscal responsibility for themselves? My case involves me who is trying to plan for the future, be frugal, and save as much as I can. My Dad and brother both spend like there is no tomorrow. I can see my father need significant health care in the future and both of them looking at me to foot the bill. I am having a difficult time wrestling with having to take care of my family later when they won’t try to plan to take care of themselves.
After you have maxed out your 401k and Roth IRA, what investment vehicles do you like? I have looked at both tax managed mutual funds and (gasp!) annuities. Speaking of which…
Got any insights on annuities? It sounds like they are at least getting a little better (lower fees, etc.)
If you didn’t have a wife and children, who would you leave your assets to? I am hesitant to leave my assets, life insurance, etc. to my family because of their lack of fiscal responsibility. That has created a quandry about where I will leave the money. Right now I am considering college funds for the children of close friends.
I have many more, but I think that is enough for now. Thanks for all of your insight!

Jeremy

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:59:47 +0000

Hi Trent. Excellent thoughts, comments, and advice on so many things within your website blog. Thanks for some great critical thinking – keep up the thought-provoking good work.

Regarding your Affirmative Action post and the quote, “…as long as people are judged even slightly by the color of their skin versus the content of their character, then something does have to be adjusted [,]” I just wanted to make a few book recommendations on the subject. Check out these eye openers:

Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin, ISBN 0451208641

White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son by Tim Wise, ISBN 1932360689

Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James Loewen, ISBN 0684818868

Cheers!
Dan

By: LC

LC — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:40:43 +0000

My opinion on cohabitation:
I am opposed to it morally and it has been shown to have negative effects on the marriage down the road. I think it lessens the effect of the commitment you make on your wedding day. But since this is a financial blog, here’s what I think about that: Maintaining one household rather than 2 obviously saves money. However, I don’t think it is wise for couples to completely merge their finances before they are married. Just think of all the people who have problems with that AFTER they are married and what happens in the even of a divorce or not going through with the wedding. A lot of headaches if you ask me. I do agree that it would make a good blog post.

About the surgery. I agree with deRuiter and think that you should just go with one of them. If you are sure that that is the main thing hurting your self image, then $6-8000 is a small price to pay (although I would try to save up for it if you can). You may want to talk to a therapist first to make sure there aren’t any other issues that will remain even after the surgery.

By: deRuiter

deRuiter — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:03:53 +0000

comment on post #23 Dear Dede, First, CONGRATS ON LOSING 80 POUNDS!!!! Atta girl! Now think about this, and anyone a bit squeemish doesn’t need to read further. You’ve got two problems, the girls and the apron of skin. ONE IS AN EASY FIX, GO TO A GOOD BRA STORE AND BE PROPERLY FITTED. For under $50. one half the problem will be solved nicely for now, and in the future you can consider a more expensive, and extensive, solution. The apron of skin is a health issue, 1. medical (chaffing,) 2. practicality in that you can not buy comfortable and flattering clothing with this lump in your front, and 3. emotional (distress and self consciousness.) Get a plastic surgeon to give you a quote on just the tummy tuck. You’ll have already solved the girls’ problem. A good tummy tuck will cost you less than eight grand, most likely more in the $6,000. range. My OPINION is that this procedure is WORTH going into debt. You will have more energy afterwards to earn money because you’ll have a great shape so you will feel happy and energetic. Also you will not be hauling around an extra 10 or so pounds of blubber laden skin, so you will not be so tired. ALSO IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH SURGERY FOR ONE SESSION TO HAVE A BOOB JOB AND A TUMMY TUCK, ESPEICALLY SINCE YOU HAVE SO MUCH SKIN TO REMOVE. In my opinion, this is one of the few, minutely few times it would be OK to go into debt. Why wait a day longer? The sooner you get this work done, THE LONGER THE AMORTIZATION PERIOD FOR THE RESULTS, AND THE LONGER YOU WILL ENJOY THE RESULTS, BE PLEASED WITH YOUR SELF IMAGE. Don’t wait, do the tuck and buy the good bra! deRuiter

By: T

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:24:08 +0000

@Andria & Imelda: count me as another vote for this topic! Although I’ve been a little nervous on this front for a while, recent medical events in my family have made it clear I had no idea what kind of money parents can require as they get older. I think I’d imagined that worst case scenario, they move in with us, we need one more bedroom and lose a little privacy and spend more on food, and we all make it through. Diagnoses whose only real treatment options can cost 10′s to 100′s of thousands of dollars a year were not anywhere in my expectations – but now seem to be a real risk. I suspect this is an area where a little planning might go a long way, but it’s hard to know where to start!

@Jane (#14) – This is one of my pet peaves, too! Thanks for the clarification!

By: Katrina

Katrina — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 14:08:55 +0000

Actually, I second the notion about the question of cohabitation before marriage. Moral/financial opinions? Any financial advice if you’re going to do it?

Thanks! (Love the blog, keep up the good work. You have really helped center my goals and financial opinions, something I am thankful for this early in my life.)

By: Barbara

Barbara — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:53:44 +0000

Okay, I agree on your point of not taking any assistance from BIA. My husband is also qualified to receive BIA assistance, yet did not grow up on a reservation immersed in Indian culture. He hasn’t used “other” as an identifier and has done very well in his career and education, attaining scholarships in other areas to get his bachelor’s and master’s degrees. He believes that the assistance is for those who truly have no other means of improving their lives. It is a sense of entitlement that people have that will keep them from attaining their true potential. He never expected the assistance, and found other more appropriate ways to fund his education. He is happy and prosperous, and I believe it says a lot about a person’s character and honor when they do the right thing.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:04:34 +0000

What is the best way to pay down my mortgage? My bank offers many options, and I’m not sure which is the best…make a payment every two weeks all year or divide my mortgage pmt by 12 and pay 1/12 against the principle or just make an extra payment each year? Is one way more effective than the others?

Thanks!

By: Shevy

Shevy — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 07:08:14 +0000

@DeDe
$17,000 is a lot of debt to jump back into. How long did it take you to lose the weight? The faster you lose, the harder it is for your skin to “catch up”. Could you give it 6 months or a year, while you work on maintaining the loss (and on accumulating some money to put towards the procedures) and see how much improvement there may be in both your skin and your attitude towards your appearance?

After all, maintenance is the most important part of the equation. If you have these expensive procedures and then have trouble maintaining a lower weight you will have spent the money but won’t have the results to show for it and your skin will be the worse for the experience.

You’ve already achieved something fantastic. Be proud of that for the moment and see what happens a little further down the road. Don’t give in to that voice that tells you, “Why bother? I’m never going away no matter how hard you try!” I think that voice is not necessarily telling the whole truth and I think you need to have success with maintenance in order to be properly prepared for whatever choice you make in the end.

By: kell@confessionsofachocolatelife.blogspot.com

kell@confessionsofachocolatelife.blogspot.com — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:30:19 +0000

I saw the question ‘What is your favourite frugal recipe’. I would like to ask, what is your favourite vegetarian frugal recipe, for us vege people?

By: !wanda

!wanda — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 04:48:09 +0000

@DeDe: It will be cheaper to get it “all right” in your head. It’s probably true that you think the situation is way worse than how other people will see you. We’ll all get old and saggy in the end anyhow. But maybe there are cheaper options- will insurance cover it?

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:23:33 +0000

@ Frank:

Awesome post. Affirmative action is garbage.

If you want equality, let’s have it.

And, no, I’m not white. I bet that most of the pro-affirmative action folks thought so though.
But, in the land of equality, I shouldn’t have to qualify myself, should I?

Reverse racism is 100% accurate.

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:22:50 +0000

Trent,

Here’s an easy one for you: What’s your handicap? And if you don’t have one, what do you usually score?

By: imelda

imelda — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:54:27 +0000

Oh boy…I’ll be good and refrain from responding to Frank.

I am just posting to say that I’m in almost exactly the same situation as Andrea, except my fear is that I won’t be ABLE to support my parents as I get older, rather than that I will have to. Trent, if you wanted to take up that question, you’d help more than one person!

By: Frank Kelly

Frank Kelly — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:54:26 +0000

“I guess, then, as a white male, I’m okay with affirmative action”

Wow I’m surprised. Affirmative action is just racism in reverse. As Chief Justice Roberts said “The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race, is to stop discriminating on the basis of race.”

Or as my mother might say “Two wrongs don’t make a right”.

-Frank

By: WhirlMind (Namaji)

WhirlMind (Namaji) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:49:39 +0000

Thank you for answering my question on self-reliance.

By: Dave M

Dave M — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:20:40 +0000

“…half an onion, and make sure you have some *salt and pepper*…” Man, you midwesterners and your crazy spices. I don’t know if I can keep up with all the culinary wizardry! :-)

By: Jamie

Jamie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 22:45:38 +0000

I have two issues I would love to hear your opinion on, Trent:

1. Is Nutrisystem a cost-effective way to loose weight?

2. Is there financial gain (particularly in terms of time) in permanent hair removal as opposed to shaving, waxing, etc.?

Thanks!