1) Personal relationships is the reason why we have wealth. If the surgery will improve your relationships, or help you gain more relationships, then you should go for it.
Read this for more on the rational behind financial success.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120769727703599697.html

2) Cosmetic surgery is cheaper in asian countries. Korea is probably the safest, as it’s very common for them to do their thing

Okay, #3 just snuck in. If you’re 41, you definately need to start putting $$ away for retirement. Read up on blog posts on compound interest.

First of all, I was told years ago by a fitness trainer that I should lose any weight I had to lose by the time I went through menopause (I didn’t). When a woman’s body quits producing those hormones, it has a huge impact on the elasticity of her skin. I lost quite a bit of weight after those years, and my skin is saggier than I would like. However, I switched my goal to becoming healthier and fitter, rather than worrying about how much better I might look.

Second, in response to those who have suggested she seek surgery in other countries – BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL HERE! Many people have to have post-surgery surgeries to FIX the mess made by the original surgery done by what may or may not have been a “certified” and “qualified” “doctor” in another country. I have personally seen legitimate horror stories regarding plastic surgery in border towns. (One of the patients reported that they had had to get off the gurney to swat flies that were hovering over them!) One exception, other than Switzerland or Austria, of course is India, which is quickly becoming known for its treatment of economy-minded Americans in posh hotel-like hospitals. My thought, upon reading about that, was how very difficult it is to make sure all your medical information is understood and accurately recorded HERE in the U.S. (think of the people who get the wrong kidneys removed). Heaven help you when you don’t even speak the same language!

Third, let’s talk about PAIN! My best friend has had quite a few surgeries, and she said that her “tummy tuck” involved quite a bit of pain. When she got her “neck lift,” she got an infection and was on antibiotics for weeks, as well as too swollen to work.

Fourth and final point, although a few have touched on it, no one seems to have stressed it enough. Calling a procedure a “tummy tuck” is a cute name for major surgery. Major surgery is painful and risky. Remember Kanye West’s mother who recently passed away after cosmetic surgery? The woman who wrote the book “The First Wives Club,” on which the movie was based, died recently after a face lift. Also, on a more personal note, a woman I attended high school with was given a desired face lift by her mother as a birthday present in her late 40’s. Guess what? She died that night in the hospital. Talk about guilt .

If you decide to have the surgery, don’t try to economize by going home too early or having it in a facility not able to deal with emergencies.

And for goodness sake – make sure your surgeon is BOARD CERTIFIED in the procedure he/she will be performing. It is a rampant problem right now that many varieties of doctors are calling themselves “plastic surgeons.” Why, you ask? For MONEY. Most cosmetic procedures are not covered by insurance or government programs. Therefore, most doctors get paid the full amount they ask for (without a disallowance by an insurance company), and they usually get their money right away (unlike with an insurance company), whether from the patient or the patient’s finance company.

In closing, I am continually amazed at how much research a person will put into buying a new car or house, and then consent to surgery without having done any at all. Take the emotions out of the equation. Do your homework. Good luck however you choose.

I would argue that a woman who plans to have children should never, ever, ever become involved with a man who would recoil at fat or extra skin. Pregnancy does a number on a woman’s body. It would be awful if a woman’s husband became repulsed by her body after she has given birth to his child. Men who are like that don’t deserve to have wives and children.

Let’s say Denise gets the surgery, gets married, and gets pregnant. Let’s say that she gains just 25 lbs during that pregnancy–not an excessive amount at all. That 25 lbs isn’t going to be evenly distributed across her whole body. Her stomach is going to get very large. Even if she quickly goes back to prepregnancy weight–which is difficult for many women to do, she may wind up with saggy skin on her stomach all over again.

I still don’t think the surgery will make her happy. But if she still thinks she needs it, she should at least wait until she’s done having kids, or she risks having the same problem later on.

Many potential suitors and mates will recoil from a fat person; this is a fact. There are also a great number who would recoil from someone who has a gorgeous face, scintillating personality and… OMG – rolls of excess skin once those clothes come off. It is easy to say, “Well those types arent worth dating/being with because they are shallow and insensitive, etc.” This might be true, but is certainly doesn’t help someone when a person loves them with their clothes on and then rejects them when their relationship is close enough for a more intimate experience.

Denise might try to find a doctor that will determine if the excess skin is creating a medical condition that is covered by insurance. If the excess skin is causing chaffing and irritation, infection (as can be caused a draping pannulus over the abdomen), undue tissue injury due to pulling when moving in bed or by clothing then it is possible that this is a medical issue.

I wouldn’t want random skin on me either, but if it could go away on its own through further diet and exercise (you’ve already shown you’ve got perseverance!) then I’d do that rather than risk major surgery, scarring, and so forth. I might also talk to a fashion consultant about the best ways to look good right now as my body continues to readjust.

However…

DON’T go into debt for this surgery! Usually the advice on this blog is so reasonable, I can’t understand why so many people seem to think it’s a good idea to borrow $17,000 for elective surgery that doesn’t have a pressing need!

Like others have said, the excess skin isn’t noticeable under clothes so this really only becomes a problem if you want to wear a bathing suit or if a guy is going to see you naked. The health problems caused by excess skin may not even happen and if they do will take years to show up. This procedure can wait!

Save the money for the surgery beforehand. When it’s $17000 of your own hard-earned money you’re handing over maybe you’ll feel differently. Maybe saving $17000 will boost your self-esteem more than any surgery could! Who knows what your life will be like in a few years.

In the meantime do your research. Look at before and after photos. Understand that your stomach will still look kind of funny afterwards. Any guy that would reject you for your excess skin will probably also be turned off by the surgical scar and the cellulite.

The surgery won’t fix your self esteem or relationship problems.

People don’t seem to think cosmetic surgery is “real” surgery. It is a serious decision. Any time you undergo anesthesia there are risks, and there is always the risk of infection.

Also, why not go to Buenos Aires, which has a huge and good plastic surgery community? People in Buenos Aires are *obsessed* with appearances, and plastic surgery is even covered by some medical insurance plans… It’s far cheaper there than in the US, and they do it well. I know a woman who had facial plastic surgery done there, and it looked great.

I’ve heard that bit about people who’ve lost a lot of weight, only having the loose skin because they have more fat to lose. I don’t buy it. It might be true if no stretching occurred, but if there are stretch marks, that’s never going to shrink back to normal–it’s always going to sag.

I have almost a hundred pounds to lose and if I pull it off, I’ll be in the same boat. Between two pregnancies and a seventy-pound weight gain after the second baby, I’ve got stretch marks out the wazoo. It’s too late for something like cocoa butter to help me, and although I am Caucasian I have Native American ancestry, and darker white people scar and get stretch marks more easily–the deck is stacked. So I will want to do this as well, and no, it doesn’t mean I’m crazy.

I like the idea of investing the money into the 401k and then borrowing against the 401k. That would give Denise extra time to make sure the weight stays off.

Also, check out http://mrlowbodyfat.blogspot.com/ for some inspiration. He’s going through the same issues as Denise.

I’ve spent the last 12 years saving for retirement, working OT and more than one job and denying myself A LOT of other things so I can max out my 401(k), etc.

Last December for Christmas I spent $800 on Botox and filler. Not an incredible amount of money, I know (I did all the math about how much stock that $800 would buy) and even though I am not a vain person I cannot get over how much better my face looks and even more important how much better my self-esteem is just with this little improvement.

Something like this should be included in all of the articles about “imvesting in yourself”.

Just do it.

Job prospects? Unless she’s entertaining a career as a middle-aged stripper or prostitute or planning on getting a job less by her qualifications, experience and talents and more by stripping naked for the (sexually interested) interviewer, I rather think some excess belly skin is not a going to be problem. When was the last time anyone you knew went for an interview in the corporate world with their midriff exposed?

As for marriage …. whatever. If you want to have surgery for your own self and you CAN afford it and all possible financial repercussions from it (such as loss of savings, possible extra medical expenses arising from complications, loss of income from recuperation time) that’s one thing. To do it to make yourself into a more marketable object … ugh. Reminds me of the latest online Libertoonian pastime of estimating one’s mate’s ‘market worth’, something that should make any self-respecting person projectile vomit their lunch. Do what you want to do, but don’t let people who know the cost of everything and the value of nothing browbeat you into thinking no-one will ever love you again if you’re not physically perfect. Of course men who want trophy wives won’t want you – hell, they won’t want me and I don’t have excess skin – I’m just not in my 20s, blonde, skinny or able to simper on demand. The kind of men worth being with won’t reject you on sole account of a bit of extra skin.

God love ya! It seems that you have a lot of advice already. Give yourself time to assimilate it all. If you give yourself time and watch all from a quiet space inside, you’ll know what to do.
One of the first books that I read on self immage psychology was by Dr. Maltz a plastic surgeon who noticed that after surgery which was “perfect” some patients lives were turned around dramatically, while others remained the same. The book is called, PSCHO-PSYBERNETICS.
Why not write Trent again when you have a happy solution?

john b.