Absolutely do not move them once they are in high school.

Exception: you talk it over with the kids and they want to make the move.

We moved every 3-4 years when I was a kid and I dealt with it ok every time except the last one. Changing schools and states at the age of 16 was the single worst experience of my life to date. (Granted, it was a move to a god-awful city, but still….)

Moving back to your parents area may make that less likely. I grew up in a depressed area of the country, and out of ten friends I knew from high school and still keep in contact with, only two have stayed. Everyone else and most of their siblings have had to move out of state to find jobs or start businesses.

So your children may get to grow up with their grandparents around, but you may find them going to different parts of the country to seek employment or opportunities. Which will you follow, if any?

Additionally, plenty has been said of the benefits of living near family. But be careful not to confuse the joy and restraint of special occasions with the day to day dealings you’d have if you lived close. My friend’s have had some interesting problems dealing with their in-laws. Most especially with differences in opinion on how the kids are being raised, when and how family “occasions” are planned, etc.. There is a lot of pressure, both subtle and direct, on meeting their desires which doesn’t exist when you’re farther away.

Reading this makes me very happy I’ve always weathered lean$times vs. leaving family to make more. I hope my son appreciates it when he’s older! I know he does right now (age 5).

One of my grandparents lived in the same town that I grew up in, and it was great to be able to see her once a week or more as a child. However, my brother and I are equally close to our other grandparents, who live 2-plus hours away from my hometown. We didn’t see them as often, but as adults we talk to them weekly and confide in them. I agree with the posters who say do what is best for the parents for now, and do it sooner rather than later. I think that is true whether it means moving a greater distance away from family or closer, as in Trent’s case.

A.M.B.A.

Grandparents and grandchildren will have a better chance to bond now, while your parents are younger and can better keep up, and while your children lead less complicated lives. Those connections, made now, can nourish them all for life. The busy teen years are not really prime bonding time. My husband and my parents all died young — I see how precious those bonds could be. You & your wife will also enjoy the time with your parents while they are younger and healthy.

Although moving can expand horizons, it can also be traumatic, especially in the middle school/high school years. We would move if economic necessity drove us, but not otherwise. Your children will be entrenched in their home and schools. And in all probability, so will you, with community commitments, other school parents, etc.

Not everyone wants to live close to their parents. But if this is something you and your wife want to do, if it will lead to a life with more good things for you and your family, then do it now. The economic calculus of waiting is nothing compared to the value of those years together and the strong, strong probability that if you wait, you will end up never moving at all.

My daughter is 13 and in 7th grade here in “Mayberry” Indiana. I am going NOWHERE soon. She loves her school and loves her friends and even a discussion of moving (I want very much to live in a warmer climate and be closer to my Florida-retiree parents) practically reduces her to tears. My family moved when I was in 8th grade and relocating was extremely traumatic for me… I could never do that to my kids. So my younger son has 8 more years in this school system, and maybe THEN we’ll head to Florida!

If you are really serious about relocating, do it before your son goes to Kindergarten.

My parents moved in the middle of my 6th-grade school year. I went from being deeply embedded in a network of friends whom I loved and who loved me, to going to a strange school in a richer neighborhood where everyone made fun of me for my clothes. It was pretty much hell.

My parents sold their mobile home to move us into a rental house… your post made me wonder why they at least couldn’t wait until summer. I haven’t thought about this in years.

It is good of you to keep your children’s welfare in mind. So many parents don’t.

So my recommendation is to find that school in Iowa. Move before the children are in school. You may have to make financial adjustments. That’s okay if you know why you are doing it and how you are doing it. My other recommendation is to talk to your parents. They might have some insights that you do not. They may also have plans of their own that you are unaware of. Maybe they are thinking of moving closer to you or even thinking of retiring to Florida. After you move is not a good time to find that out.

It was a good thing we all were local.

As you’ve found, many careers can be done from home, even ones that formerly required office time.

I know one guy who used to work literally around the corner from me who now does the same job from his & his girlfriend’s B&B in Mexico.