Re: the author’s observation of the lack of children outside, a great method parents can practice is to actually go outside and play with their kids. I know a mother who keeps hounding her son to lessen video games and TV and instead go outside, but how much will he listen to her if she plants herself in front of the TV and doesn’t offer to play with him outside? So I think a great way to encourage playtime outside is to play with kids.

(Sorry that I’m only commenting on the first chapter now– I just got my copy from the library today!)

I think she was looking for people more like Ruby Ridge than the type of downshifting that’s discussed in online communities. That’s just the impression I got – I might be wrong.

Also, I don’t see that downshifting is the total rejection of consumer society. It’s about deciding for yourself what is valuable to you and what is not and spending your time and money accordingly.

I’ve had two of Schor’s previous books and they’re eye-openers. I should look for this one at the library.

And I really don’t see what’s so horrible about not exposing your child to branding and commercialism at all in the early years. I mean, it’s too late for me and my daughter, but kids aren’t supposed to watch *any* TV before two years of age, and if they don’t get that early start then, depending on their life situation, they probably won’t care much about it later either. I don’t know about you, but I can think of much better things for a child to do than park it in front of the tube. And I can think of better potential friends for my child than other kids who would judge her by how much plastic-crap-made-by-nine-year-olds-in-China with logos all over it her parents buy for her.

We as parents are so often willing to settle for the least offensive common denominator when it comes to parenting our kids. Just like we’re willing to settle for $10,000 in debt instead of $10,000 in a retirement fund, and a high school diploma and dummy degree instead of constantly pursuing our own education and betterment. Why is that?

(I said “we” for a reason: I’m realizing how much of the suckitude in my life has resulted from my being too willing to settle. The problem with settling, though, is that it is never on a stable foundation because instead of building something solid for yourself, you parked your butt on someone else’s idea of what constitutes a good life.)

As far as my kids go, I honestly believe I can forgo the TV entirely. They have DVD’s they love, they watch Japanese Anime on the computer (with me being right there to read the subtitles) and they rarely ask for brandnames, outside a couple of “American Eagle” “Aeropostale” or “Hollister” shirts, and those I buy on sale, we are talking BIG SALE, and they are very content. I agree, kick the TV to the curb. It really isnt the necessity society puts on us. Be careful with what is watched and our kids will grow up just FINE!
Great subject, Trent, thanks!

Arguments supporting Schor’s contentions were harder to find, at least in the first two chapters. She’s got a little bit of Chicken Little in her.

I’ll give it another chapter or two. Maybe there’s some meat somewhere in this book.

Considering the amount of money I’m going to save by not purchasing labels or exposing them to mindless media, it’s a total win-win situation.

We have a once a week family TV night that they look forward to. We have popcorn or something else “special” and plan on a good movie or program that we all will enjoy. During the week they don’t miss it at all because they are too busy reading, painting, stamp collecting, knitting, riding their bikes, walking in the woods, playing in the backyard, doing homework, volunteering at the state parks, practicing their instruments etc., etc. Actually recently a month went by without the TV night because we were so busy with other activities and we were all surprised that we hadn’t missed it.

We very seldom eat out, but we have friendns over for dinner and do lots of tea parties, picknicks, camping, and tailgates with good home made food that everyone is proud of and enjoyed making.

Regading clothes, we have taught them that you coordinate your wardrobe so you don’t need too much and you always buy at the best price possible. However you buy things that you really like, not just because they are cheap so that you feel good wearing them. Since there is such a selection to buy from, you just need to look around and you will find what you want at the price you are willing to pay. Clothes are bought twice a year, for winter and summer only with no inbetweens unless of course necessary.

Also, we don’t buy toys or other things during the year. That is for Christmas and birthdays. We do buy craft supplies though as they run out.

They toys we give them are the kind that will last and that can be added to year after year. For example, the doll house, a castle, a wooden play kitchen. A lot of these things or the items that go in them we made. For example, my husband made the doll clothes closet, I painted it, and every year they get a new doll dress or outfit that we made or bought.

Honestly, they are fine with all of this because they have everything they want and need and have so much around them to keep them interested. When it comes to making Christmas lists, they sometimes have trouble because they can’t think of anything.

They are different from the other children at school and there are those that just can’t understand how they can do without what they think is essential in terms of “culture” and belongings, but then there are those that actually admire them because they are better than average students, nice, polite and friendly children that can have a really good conversation with you.

Bascially, we teach them that everyone has to decide how they are going to spend their money according to what is important to them. For us it is travel, so we teach them that we should never try to spend our money foolishly or in ways that others would maybe want us to, but that is not in our best interest, in order so that we can see more of the world and in so doing see that there are many ways to live your life.

S

Stephanie

Of course kids express preferences, but I think you underestimate their capacity to understand that things have value and value is not always in the commercial/social representation of it. I also think you missed the part where Trent said it’s about BALANCE.

Case in point: My three-year-old was given a Barbie as a Christmas gift, and I let her keep it (despite the fact that I hate all things Barbie). A few weeks ago, she saw an ad on TV for some fairy princess Barbie thing that was much pinker, much more sparkly, and could have been received as much, much cooler than the Barbie that she already owns. Completely unprompted, she said, “I don’t need that Barbie. I already have a good Barbie.”

So child though she may be, she has clearly grasped some aspect of value versus quantity. Balance at its best.

2 year olds express preferences – it’s their personality developing. My kids all had favorite books, movies, songs, foods, activities, colors, etc.

I don’t see any value to withholding their preferred things consistantly.

Sure – there is a lesson to be taught about advertising, but at the same time I wonder if by consistantly not including your children’s preferances into decision-making (particularly where the outcome doesn’t matter at all) doesn’t teach the lesson that their opinions do not matter.

“Eventually I realized that this dearth of downshifting among parents revealed a significant trend in consumer culture. […] how many parents opt to downshift or simplify? It’s a radical step many children don’t welcome.”

Oh really? I’d love to see how she reaches this conclusion. I’m not entirely convinced that parents of young children resist downshifting because the kids won’t get on board or because it’s somehow bad for the kids socially. I think parents don’t downshift because they are terrified about their ability to provide (health insurance, not cartoon characters) for their family.

Tomorrow it’s off to the library.