Comments on: Born to Buy: Playing Less and Shopping More

By: John

John — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 10:19:32 +0000

I’ve just picked it up now and am going through the book club posts as I go. Something that bothered me about this section is she does not once mention that television watching has gone down on all age groups (Table 1 pages 30). Granted she mentions that these come from diary studies that typically don’t include “background noise TV”, but this would be a problem in the earlier study as well.

As for the obesity rates a part of that increasing trend is the way obesity itself is defined as it has changed over the years to include more of the population as discussed at Junkfood Science.

By: janewilk

janewilk — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:01:45 +0000

Yes, I’m wondering if the reason that children age 6-12 spent more time shopping in 1997 than in 1981 (the statistic quoted in the first green box in your post) is simply that more children are being raised in households with two working parents, or in single-parent households with a working parent. Once a child is 12, he/she is old enough to stay home alone! I read some of the above comments, which talked about doing grocery shopping on lunch breaks, and that definitely wouldn’t be feasible for me (what about frozen or refrigerated food?), or many other readers, I imagine. I do think that grocery shopping can be an educational experience if the parent uses the time to talk with the child about financial or nutritional choices, chats amicably, etc. – not seeing grocery shopping as an onerous chore and trying to insist on the kid(s) sitting down and shutting up (not likely). But I think that the statistic must arise from a more practical situation: if both parents work full-time, then grocery shopping is going to have to be done on evenings and weekends, when the kids aren’t in school or daycare…

By: LollieMouse

LollieMouse — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 09:41:48 +0000

Have to say Trent, when I brought my oldest (who is now 20) to the grocery store, it was a very amusing experience (he is a really funny guy!). However, in talking to others about how to save $$, time and time again, places like Costco, Sam’s Club, and BJ’s have come up — and I realize, alone OR with kids, I spend WAAAAAY too much money on grocery shopping!

Would love to hear your opinion on maximizing spending at “club” stores…I have started doing that and find my weekly grocery bill plummeting (and that may just be me). What’s your take on that?

Blessings,
Lollie

By: KoryO

KoryO — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:11:49 +0000

Okay….so I’m a bad mom now because I take my kid grocery shopping with me? Sorry, but leaving him at home with Daddy isn’t really an option when Daddy is working 70+ hour weeks.

Maybe I’ll change my tune when he gets older, but for right now (he’s 18 months), he seems to enjoy it. I’m that geek picking up bananas, pointing out that they are yellow, and trying to get him to say “banana” or “yellow”. Beats the hell out of parking his butt in front of the TV and making him watch “Baby Einstein” videos….which seem more like extended toy commercials with classical music in the background, IMHO.

By: Monevator

Monevator — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:51:55 +0000

Interesting discussion. Much as I like to think back to my rather innocent childhood days, I wonder if kids *need* to learn about shopping now, and at as an early an age as possible. We live in a world where so much consumption is non-optional, however ascetic we try and be, that getting comfortable with juggling choice is probably as important to today’s kids as eating greens was in the ’50s?

By: Monroe on a budget

Monroe on a budget — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:37:39 +0000

I was a single mother from the time my daughter was 1 until she was 4. During those years, I did as many shopping and business errands as possible during lunch, or right after I got off work (but before I picked her up from the sitter.)

I found could get in and out of the grocery store faster, and pay closer attention to prices, when I did not have keep a toddler entertained during the process.

I did take her along on many other everyday experiences – we were at church every Sunday morning for example. But grocery shopping? No. Not when I had to watch my expenses so closely.

By: J.

J. — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:54:57 +0000

i’m more interested in teaching my kids lessons than protecting them in a bubble. i agree with all the posters who’ve talked about the value of showing them you-in-action and responsible decision-making. i think this should cause more reflection on how to maximize teachable moments than a head-in-the-sand mentality.

and then all these cranky people who are moaning about crowded grocery stores — get a life! or go when it’s not crowded (i know i do)

By: Miranda

Miranda — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:18:37 +0000

Definitely going to pick this book up. I like taking my son with me to the store. We look at things, and talk about prices. And when he sees something he likes, we talk about what he can do to earn/save money to buy it himself.

By: Mom2boys

Mom2boys — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:12:29 +0000

I agree some shopping is bad for kids, like recreational shopping at the mall instead of doing something for exercise or education. BUT grocery shopping can teach some pretty valuable lessons to kids, like choosing healthy foods, trying new fruits or vegetables (kids are much more willing to try something new if they think it is their idea! let them choose!), money management, time management and learning to control ther impulse to grab some new and exciting looking junk food on every aisle! Take the time to explain why it is a bad choice, why it is not healthy or why some choices are better than others. These are lessons that will influence the food choices your kids will make as they get older and have to make these choices themselves at school or at a friend’s house. It works! My 10 year old consistently makes healthy choices and he has been shopping with me since he was a baby!

By: tightwadfan

tightwadfan — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:50:31 +0000

When I was a kid my mom would always take us shopping with her out of necessity as she couldn’t leave us home by ourselves. I hated going shopping, it was so boring. The only store we would voluntarily go to was Toys R Us. In other stores we would act up like crazy – fighting, going off on our own, scrounging under the gumball machines for loose candy (ugh). Looking back I thought my mom was crazy to bring us and I decided when I had kids that one of us would stay home with the kids while the other went shopping. Most stores have such long hours nowadays that this is entirely possible. I agree with Mary that there is no point in the entire family going to the store.

I never thought about how much time kids spend shopping compared to other activities. That was very enlightening.

By: !wanda

!wanda — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:24:12 +0000

I concur with NED that the other factors are influencing the depression rates. With depression, it’s hard to distinguish tell whether more people are being depressed or whether more people are simply being diagnosed as depressed, because we’re more open about mental illness now and because we have more effective therapies. When Western countries send psychologists to poor countries, they often find high rates of depression and anxiety disorders, but very few people are formally diagnosed because of lack of access and social stigma. More recently, people have been more willing to diagnose younger children with disorders, even though “depressed” youngsters rarely have the same symptoms as adult patients with depression.

By: Shane

Shane — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:22:07 +0000

You could have the child involved in making the shopping list (you can even do one with pictures of some of the foods). Then once you’ve made the list, anything not on the list is easy to disqualify in the store with the perfectly sensible explanation that, “it’s not on our list.” For sale items, you can make some things general enough to take advantage of the deals. My soon to be 3 year old understands “meat” or “fish” or “bread” but not cuts and species. What kind we get depends on the prices, but it’s still done by the list.

By: NED

NED — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:13:40 +0000

Just 2 additional notes.

Note 1
—–
Probably the biggest reason to have your kids follow you out on the occasional shopping trip is so they can see you “in action”. It is fairly well known that children in toddler-preschool age (2-10~) learn through visual imprinting coupled with audio cues. It is better to have kids learn from a parent in a semi-supervised environment than it is to leave them to random chance to endow them with the necessary skills. Pardon me, but I do not have any links to studies for child learning, so you will have to take my word for it.

As kids get older, they tend to get more restless because they have their activities they would rather be doing than following you around. The best answer imo is to get them involved in the process. Rather than passively accompanying you, give them assigned tasks to accomplish. Start out with simple things like getting a bottle from down the aisle, then build up the number of tasks and complexity over many trips as the child becomes more comfortable with the layout of the store and his own ability to work independently. Praising them accordingly after each task builds self-esteem because they have expended effort towards a constructive effort. There is no greater drug than responsibility and recognition to a young’un.

Note 2
—–
Just to add to my previous comment (#12). I can’t check blogs at my workplace because the firewall blocks all non-work access. XD

By: NED

NED — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:51:48 +0000

Although I have not read the book yet, I find the premise very interesting. This book discussion is also honing my desire to get a copy to read, even when I am single and intend to stay that way for a long time.

i do have a few caveats with this post.

The statistics put forward are fairly interesting, but I fail to see the link between depression/obesity and consumerism. They are emerging problems, but are they caused by consumerism? So fat depressed people are ardent consumerists while thin “mentally normal” (I shudder to use that phrase) people are not?

Another point to note is that the statistics could change due to changing perceptions rather than marketing. My personal belief is that a main reason why depression rates have increased is due to 2 factors. 1, performance anxiety in a more competitive academic environment and among peers. 2, an increasing willingness to tolerate and discuss previously taboo topics like mental illness has led to more people “coming out of the closet”, so to speak.

My work schedule is hectic which makes regularly checking your blog a bit difficult. But I would like to continue this discussion through email if you are interested. (kaitoneo at hotmail)

By: Todd

Todd — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 02:39:39 +0000

Wow, there’s a child-threatening aspect I had not yet considered. Once I got past my initial “here’s another way I’m hurting my kids”-reaction, I realized that not ALL kid shopping trips are bad. While I’m not a fan of child-attended grocery trips, I do cherish some of the more errand/entertainment type runs I make with my kids. For example, lots of times I will evaluate non-essential purchases for weeks ahead of time (like project materials from Menards or Lowe’s). During those trips I get to 1) have some fun with my kids 2) explain numerous items of interest to my them (like what is a “heat duct”), and, 3)I get to show my kids that we make trips to stores that don’t result in ANY immediate purchase.

I generally agree, dragging kids along to buy groceries is bad in many ways, but, having my kids with me as I approach the activities of life creates educational opportunities on my terms as well.

Thank you for prompting me to consider this.

By: trb

trb — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:31:31 +0000

Trent, I’m really enjoying this series of posts, even though I’m childless and intend to stay that way. This deeper introspection than you usually give to the book reviews is appreciated, and the posting frequency seems right to me. Hard questions you are asking, and meaningful.

By: Vered

Vered — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:13:53 +0000

I like to take my kids grocery shopping. They help me choose the best fruit and veggies; they each get to pick their favorite cereal. It makes them part of the family decision making. I feel it empowers them. They learn so much: they know that we always prefer local produce; they know that we like items on sale; and they know that we are trying to avoid trans fats and high fructose corn syrup.

I see it as a teaching opportunity.

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:13:41 +0000

Well, I doubt it’s bad for them to go to the grocery store. I’d rather just go by myself and get the errand done faster so I could get home. I HATE going to the store with anyone else … it just takes so much longer if you have to discuss every brand of product you buy.

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:36:08 +0000

This must be a great book if you are reflecting on how you could do things differently. I think that you are right that it isn’t such a great thing to take your son shopping if you can avoid it. Kids are naturally drawn to the brightly colored packaging and the “junk”–why tempt them if you don’t have to?
I used to hate shopping with my mom and would avoid it at all costs. Why? She would never buy the “junk” so shopping was boring. Funny, though, listening to my now-grown kids I think I turned out much the same way. Junky processed foods is not only not good for kids–it is way more expensive. I can’t think the last time that I bought a box of processed cereal–oatmeal bought in bulk is infinitely cheaper and nutritionally a better deal.

By: Trent

Trent — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:24:35 +0000

“I don’t understand the point of the whole family going to the grocery store together. Isn’t it more difficult to save money when trying to keep up with 2 kids. Can’t one person just stay home with the kids while the other person shops with a list? This is why the stores are so crowded … the family sends 4 people to the store when one would suffice.”

In my case, I deeply enjoy spending time with my kids. I like taking them with me on errands, like going to the grocery store. My only real concern is whether it’s a good thing for them as a whole.