Comments on: Dealing with the Things Left Undone

By: Mikke

Mikke — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:43:48 +0000

This won’t work for everyone, but my husband and I stay on top of many, and proliferating, chores by pausing to remind ourselves and each other that we are doing them TOGETHER.

While the dollar value of our time to clean the toilets or dig into organizing the garage may be “higher” monetarily than “paying someone else to do it,” if we paid someone else to do it, we’d miss the chance to do it ourselves TOGETHER.

It’s funny how, in the day to day, we come to see that although we complain sometimes, we really dearly love the humble work of life, the frustrating little tasks that have to be done every day, or ten times a day. When we do that work of sustaining life, we realize that the TOGETHERness in it is more valuable than, say, working more hours or more jobs for more money to pay for it.

One day we were hand digging new garden beds. We were muddy, cold, damp, and tired. My husband paused and said, “Remember that trip to Hawaii that we took?” That was many years ago, before we’d joined our lives. Yes, I said, I remember it. I thought he was going to say something like that he wished we were on the beach, or atop the mountain, or walking in the rainforest.

He smiled and said, “At the time I would never have believed it. But it wasn’t as fun as this. I’m glad we’re here. Together.”

Also, working TOGETHER with someone you love, two people’s work yields the outcomes of four or five, in terms of effectiveness! It’s a TOGETHER thing!

By: learning_the _rope

learning_the _rope — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:42:11 +0000

Well, its such a relief you know. Knowing that someone as organized as you has some task left half done too. Knowing you from your blog, it felt that you always ( but always) stay on top of the things. Now I feel I’m not the only one, which truly ( *sheepish grin* ) feels good :D

By: kz

kz — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:25:30 +0000

I agree with Marcie. I’m 27 and my dad just passed away two weeks ago, rather unexpectedly. I would give away every asset I own, cash and otherwise, just to have one more conversation with him.

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:57:04 +0000

Literally two-year-old fingerprints? Or, fingerprints of a two-year-old?

By: Marcie

Marcie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:11:30 +0000

You can never talk to your mother for too long :)

You’ll miss those conversations some day…

By: NP

NP — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:56:06 +0000

I long ago delegated major house cleaning to a cleaning professional who works for a pretty low rate. She is like a member of our family! As a teacher, I’d love to delegate some of the mind-numbing paperwork to an assistant–maybe when my ship comes in….

By: Gayle RN

Gayle RN — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:27:03 +0000

Welcome to the world of the average woman.

By: Ryan McLean

Ryan McLean — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 22:26:07 +0000

I use a to do list on my mobile phone which I find is very helful in minimising the things I need to get done.
That way they are always in front of my face (as I use my phone everyday) and I have to get them done in order to get rid of it

By: Maggie Shaw

Maggie Shaw — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:35:43 +0000

Do not be so hard on yourself. You accomplished some worhtwhile tasks. Your in-box will always be full. You don’t always have to get things done in a certain order.

By: Tziporah

Tziporah — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:55:36 +0000

I am genuinely happy for Trent that he can afford to hire someone to do housecleaning and other necessary, time consuming tasks, but how do you delegate when you are single on a low income?

By: KJ

KJ — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:45:41 +0000

I agree with the comment about free cycle: there are those of us who are perfectly happy to have junky furniture, since our pets will just wind up puking on it or tearing it up anyway.

By: J.

J. — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:42:09 +0000

I loved reading that!
Recognized every step.
I can procrastinate for Holland, but I also have bouts of productivity, so in the end I usually get most things off my list.
C’est la vie.

By: ericabiz

ericabiz — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 20:35:03 +0000

Hi Trent,

I’m really glad you wrote about this. The exact same topic came to my mind recently and it’s why I ended up hiring a personal assistant. You can see my results and “how to” here:

http://www.erica.biz/2008/how-can-you-have-that-perfect-flow-state-more-often/

I’d love your feedback on this…sounds like we are going through similar thoughts/actions.

-Erica

By: Faculties

Faculties — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:30:55 +0000

You know, you can wash the windows *while* talking on the phone to your mother.

By: MoneyBlogga

MoneyBlogga — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:53:50 +0000

Procrastination is not my friend, either. Today, the college Honors club is holding a big garage sale on my driveway and I had fully intended to sort through my house and sell everything I didn’t use or want. Did I do it? No. I didn’t. We have loads of people outside and still carloads more pulling up – I could’ve made some substantial money today if only I had just done what I had planned to do. My problem is laziness combined with a need (almost) to live on the edge – any kind of edge will do. This one character trait alone has cost me literally thousands of dollars over the years but I’m working on it.

By: yvie

yvie — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:23:36 +0000

I teach and therefore have the summers off. I always put off many household and other jobs off until the summer, thinking that I have an infinite amount of time. But it never works that way. Just because you don’t go to work everyday doesn’t mean that you will have that much extra time.

I’m sure after a few months of working from home you will find your rhythm and you will know at what pace you can realistically expect to get things done. You will alter your list accordingly.

Usually I find that the male of the species seem to be much more laid back than the females, but in your case it is the opposite. Don’t worry, be happy!

By: JB

JB — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:13:35 +0000

Wow. How can you spend “too much time” talking to your mother? My mother is now 82, and she is more important to me than fingerprints on the window.

By: Ripley

Ripley — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:08:18 +0000

Trent,

Your post touched on something from when I once attended a session with a professional organizer: Often, when we are procrastinating on something on our to-do list, it is because it is a project and not a task.

The difference? A project is made up of individual tasks. In my case, I have been putting off cleaning up my bedroom and closet for a long time. It just looks huge. That is because it is a project, and an all-day (if not two-day) project. If I break it down to its individual tasks, it is not so daunting.

By: durendale

durendale — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:05:34 +0000

Dude, “in a fit of self-disgust and angst” relax!!! You should love and respect yourself, for all of your accomplishments the least of which is this blog.

By: jennifer

jennifer — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:01:39 +0000

If you have a local Freecycle.com chapter, your old moving boxes might be able to be re-used instead of recycled. We’re moving next month and I’ve found some perfectly good moving boxes this way.

I’ve been enjoying your site for almost a year now — you really are an engaging writer!