Comments on: The Sucker Factor: The Cost of Being Unable to Say No – And How to Get Out of It http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:50:09 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: And http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-365527 And Sun, 31 Aug 2008 18:56:25 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-365527 I was very surprised to find at my door a parent with his child who was home schooled collecting for a school trip. When I asked the child would it be educational, the child was at a loss for an answer. It turned out the donation would be towards a trip to Disney World. I recognized the pair from a similar event the previous year. Though I did not know them as part of our neighborhood. This is an interesting spin on the home schooled taking part in fund drives similar to those of the public school. I was very surprised to find at my door a parent with his child who was home schooled collecting for a school trip. When I asked the child would it be educational, the child was at a loss for an answer. It turned out the donation would be towards a trip to Disney World.

I recognized the pair from a similar event the previous year. Though I did not know them as part of our neighborhood.

This is an interesting spin on the home schooled taking part in fund drives similar to those of the public school.

]]> By: Kat http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-282317 Kat Wed, 21 May 2008 06:03:58 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-282317 The one that bugs me the most is that my parents buy from the kids next door because their parents always bought from me when I was in school. The problem is, my parents can't afford it now! The stuff they sell is always ridiculously overpriced, as is most school fundraiser stuff. An $18 box of 12 chocolates? Please. The one that bugs me the most is that my parents buy from the kids next door because their parents always bought from me when I was in school. The problem is, my parents can’t afford it now! The stuff they sell is always ridiculously overpriced, as is most school fundraiser stuff. An $18 box of 12 chocolates? Please.

]]> By: Osho http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-281607 Osho Tue, 20 May 2008 16:40:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-281607 I have a very simple policy. The money I earn with my hard work is MINE to keep. Period! I have a very simple policy. The money I earn with my hard work is MINE to keep. Period!

]]> By: Oleg K. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-279577 Oleg K. Sun, 18 May 2008 22:39:23 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-279577 It took some practice to do this on a regular basis and with proper effect, but it works. It's a simple technique I call the "No and-stop" (Actually, initially I called it the "No, end stop" like the poetic term 'end stop', but "No and-stop" defines it better). When I'm asked for money(or anything) by salespeople, preachers, homeless people, etc. I just say "No" and stop talking. I'm not giving a reason, I'm not apologizing, most of the time I have nothing left to say. Oftentimes I revel in the moment of silence following because people usually don't expect a flat No. In my mind, it's my money or time, I work for it and I'll do what I want with it. There are many terrible things happening in the world, but we can't give to everyone - that's the bottom line, really. There is no guilt in saying No, we are all free to allocate our resources as we wish. Just as others are free to ask me to donate, I am free to say No. And stop. It took some practice to do this on a regular basis and with proper effect, but it works. It’s a simple technique I call the “No and-stop” (Actually, initially I called it the “No, end stop” like the poetic term ‘end stop’, but “No and-stop” defines it better).

When I’m asked for money(or anything) by salespeople, preachers, homeless people, etc. I just say “No” and stop talking. I’m not giving a reason, I’m not apologizing, most of the time I have nothing left to say. Oftentimes I revel in the moment of silence following because people usually don’t expect a flat No.

In my mind, it’s my money or time, I work for it and I’ll do what I want with it. There are many terrible things happening in the world, but we can’t give to everyone – that’s the bottom line, really. There is no guilt in saying No, we are all free to allocate our resources as we wish. Just as others are free to ask me to donate, I am free to say No. And stop.

]]> By: Sally http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-274878 Sally Mon, 12 May 2008 17:57:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-274878 I justed wanted to say I used to work for an organization that raised money for non-profits via telemarketing. I'm not arguing the other points, and a telemarketer would much rather have you hang up on them (politely and quickly. EX: Not interested - click) than argue with you. However, I encourage you not to "punish" a charity for telemarketing. It's probably more effective to contact them directly and tell them how you feel about telemarketing. FYI - Many of the laws for "do not call" lists don't apply to non-profits. I justed wanted to say I used to work for an organization that raised money for non-profits via telemarketing. I’m not arguing the other points, and a telemarketer would much rather have you hang up on them (politely and quickly. EX: Not interested – click) than argue with you. However, I encourage you not to “punish” a charity for telemarketing. It’s probably more effective to contact them directly and tell them how you feel about telemarketing.

FYI – Many of the laws for “do not call” lists don’t apply to non-profits.

]]> By: Mark http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-274313 Mark Mon, 12 May 2008 01:23:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-274313 I don't know if this has been mentioned already, but this is an interesting idea. When donating to charities you should do the opposite of diversifying your investment. You diversify to spread the risks of not making a profit, to be more certain that you will make a smaller profit. When donating to charities there is no chance of making a profit, but there's a chance your money may be wasted, or used in a way you don't want. So you should find a single charity, and donate everything to just one. It's not my idea, but I think it's a good one. I don’t know if this has been mentioned already, but this is an interesting idea.
When donating to charities you should do the opposite of diversifying your investment. You diversify to spread the risks of not making a profit, to be more certain that you will make a smaller profit. When donating to charities there is no chance of making a profit, but there’s a chance your money may be wasted, or used in a way you don’t want. So you should find a single charity, and donate everything to just one.
It’s not my idea, but I think it’s a good one.

]]> By: deRuiter http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273473 deRuiter Sat, 10 May 2008 17:39:18 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273473 Dear Friends, I give to small, local charities with low overhead. I favor animal rescues where the bulk of the staff are volunteers, and the subject, animals, are unable to help themselves. Larger charities are often slick business operations which pay VERY HIGH salaries to management and have on staff large numbers of professional fundraisers, all of whom take a generous cut from your kind donations. United Way pays an extraordinary amount to their president and lots to other officials. Keep in mind that the U. S. government takes large amounts of one's taxes and distributes the money as charity 1. to government officials (non producers) who take a cut of your taxes in salaries and benefits and pass on a relatively small portion to: 2. the non productive who mostly spend their lives making bad decisions (pregnancy among the young, violent crime, drug dealing, vandalism, dropping out of school, refusing to defer gratification and save money, taking section 8 housing subsidies) who live by feeding at the public trough. ALL OF YOU AND I DONATE A LARGE PORTION OF OUR TAX DOLLARS AS CHARITY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT EARNED THIS MONEY. So I give to the animal rescues, and figure the U. S. Government has taken my tax dollars by threat of force and has distributed them to non workers, and that's enough charity for me. Better I put my extra dollars in a retirement account so I don't have to depend on others to sustain me when I am no longer able to work. CHARITY SHOULD BEGIN AT HOME. Dear Friends, I give to small, local charities with low overhead. I favor animal rescues where the bulk of the staff are volunteers, and the subject, animals, are unable to help themselves. Larger charities are often slick business operations which pay VERY HIGH salaries to management and have on staff large numbers of professional fundraisers, all of whom take a generous cut from your kind donations. United Way pays an extraordinary amount to their president and lots to other officials. Keep in mind that the U. S. government takes large amounts of one’s taxes and distributes the money as charity 1. to government officials (non producers) who take a cut of your taxes in salaries and benefits and pass on a relatively small portion to: 2. the non productive who mostly spend their lives making bad decisions (pregnancy among the young, violent crime, drug dealing, vandalism, dropping out of school, refusing to defer gratification and save money, taking section 8 housing subsidies) who live by feeding at the public trough. ALL OF YOU AND I DONATE A LARGE PORTION OF OUR TAX DOLLARS AS CHARITY TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT EARNED THIS MONEY. So I give to the animal rescues, and figure the U. S. Government has taken my tax dollars by threat of force and has distributed them to non workers, and that’s enough charity for me. Better I put my extra dollars in a retirement account so I don’t have to depend on others to sustain me when I am no longer able to work. CHARITY SHOULD BEGIN AT HOME.

]]> By: Louise http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273415 Louise Sat, 10 May 2008 15:50:07 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273415 Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on the planet who despises Girl Scout cookies. They taste foul to me and give me a headache later. However, I like to support the GS. I used to buy the cookies and then give them away. Now I can choose the option to just give the money directly and it's great. But ONLY if the girls themselves ask. I don't buy cookies (or any other fund raiser item) from the parents. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person on the planet who despises Girl Scout cookies. They taste foul to me and give me a headache later.

However, I like to support the GS. I used to buy the cookies and then give them away. Now I can choose the option to just give the money directly and it’s great. But ONLY if the girls themselves ask. I don’t buy cookies (or any other fund raiser item) from the parents.

]]> By: Louise http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273411 Louise Sat, 10 May 2008 15:42:24 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273411 @Elizabeth #39 said, "Instead, I’ve had good results with smiling and saying, “No, thank you, and I’m sorry you have to say that all day.” " I love this line and am totally stealing it! What a great response. Thanks! @Elizabeth #39 said, “Instead, I’ve had good results with smiling and saying, “No, thank you, and I’m sorry you have to say that all day.” ”

I love this line and am totally stealing it! What a great response. Thanks!

]]> By: Lazy Man and Money http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273388 Lazy Man and Money Sat, 10 May 2008 14:49:10 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273388 If I have time, I always like to string them along making them think they'll get me to buy. Maybe I save someone else from the sales pitch by doing that. If I have time, I always like to string them along making them think they’ll get me to buy. Maybe I save someone else from the sales pitch by doing that.

]]> By: Colleen Costello http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273340 Colleen Costello Sat, 10 May 2008 13:03:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273340 For K, I have a plan for "religious telemarketers" on your porch. I smile sweetly and tell them "Thanks but we're not Christians" or "Thanks but we're agnostics." The look on their faces is usually PRICELESS. I live in an area where it doesn't occur to many of these solicitors that non-Christians even EXIST... This method has never failed me. They are usually still standing dumbfounded when I shut the door. For K, I have a plan for “religious telemarketers” on your porch. I smile sweetly and tell them “Thanks but we’re not Christians” or “Thanks but we’re agnostics.” The look on their faces is usually PRICELESS. I live in an area where it doesn’t occur to many of these solicitors that non-Christians even EXIST… This method has never failed me. They are usually still standing dumbfounded when I shut the door.

]]> By: Kimmer http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273327 Kimmer Sat, 10 May 2008 12:31:53 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273327 #1 Making "Thin Mints" is dead easy--I do it every year as part of our Christmas treats for teachers, etc. Melt some chocolate, pour in a tiny bit of peppermint oil (I'm talking about just a few drops--a friend of mine accidentally added too much once, and ended up with what she called Thin Mint Air Fresheners), and dip Oreo cookies or a reasonable facsimile--I use Aldi brand. Take them out and let cool on a cookie sheet covered with plastic wrap. They're also great frozen! #2 Saying "NO" gets a lot easier when you realize that you're doing the other person a favor by not wasting their time. If you're not going to cave, letting them move on to the next person is in their best interests as well. #1 Making “Thin Mints” is dead easy–I do it every year as part of our Christmas treats for teachers, etc. Melt some chocolate, pour in a tiny bit of peppermint oil (I’m talking about just a few drops–a friend of mine accidentally added too much once, and ended up with what she called Thin Mint Air Fresheners), and dip Oreo cookies or a reasonable facsimile–I use Aldi brand. Take them out and let cool on a cookie sheet covered with plastic wrap. They’re also great frozen!

#2 Saying “NO” gets a lot easier when you realize that you’re doing the other person a favor by not wasting their time. If you’re not going to cave, letting them move on to the next person is in their best interests as well.

]]> By: Lenore http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273303 Lenore Sat, 10 May 2008 11:28:43 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273303 Well, Trent, the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem, so good for you!!! My addiction to Thin Mints was causing financial and nutritional havoc, but I've managed to wean myself away. First I tried the Grasshopper cookies you can get at any grocery store for less than Thin Mints and found out they were really good. Then I discovered some chocolate-covered mint cookies at a DOLLAR store that are even better. That eased the financial trauma, but my weight and health were still in jeopardy. One glance at the fat gram count made it clear there's nothing "Thin" about "Thin Mints" or their imitators. Although the 100 Calorie Packs so popular these days are overpriced per ounce, I was delighted to discover some with chocolate wafers, mint flavor and a light coat of chocolate. They're not as delicous as the Girl Scout version, but they probably cost no more and are definitely better for you. So that's how I got to Thin Mint sobriety in less than 12 Steps, and I don't feel particularly guilty about not contributing to the cause. Sometimes my favorite charity needs to be myself, my family, my friends and keeping all of us away from high-calorie temptations. Good luck in your ongoing struggle! Well, Trent, the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem, so good for you!!! My addiction to Thin Mints was causing financial and nutritional havoc, but I’ve managed to wean myself away. First I tried the Grasshopper cookies you can get at any grocery store for less than Thin Mints and found out they were really good. Then I discovered some chocolate-covered mint cookies at a DOLLAR store that are even better. That eased the financial trauma, but my weight and health were still in jeopardy. One glance at the fat gram count made it clear there’s nothing “Thin” about “Thin Mints” or their imitators. Although the 100 Calorie Packs so popular these days are overpriced per ounce, I was delighted to discover some with chocolate wafers, mint flavor and a light coat of chocolate. They’re not as delicous as the Girl Scout version, but they probably cost no more and are definitely better for you. So that’s how I got to Thin Mint sobriety in less than 12 Steps, and I don’t feel particularly guilty about not contributing to the cause. Sometimes my favorite charity needs to be myself, my family, my friends and keeping all of us away from high-calorie temptations. Good luck in your ongoing struggle!

]]> By: Ricardo Bueno http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-2/#comment-273250 Ricardo Bueno Sat, 10 May 2008 07:21:16 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273250 I think this just about sums it up perfectly: "Every time you say “yes” outside of your plan, you let down something you care about even more. Once you really learn that, “no” becomes a much easier thing to say." -- Trent Hamm Those who know me closely, know me for being such a nice guy; I always give in and I almost always say "yes". When I do say "no" I have that guilty feeling cloud over me. But come to think of it, when you change your perspective to the way you phrased it, it doesn't feel as wrong ya know. I think this just about sums it up perfectly: “Every time you say “yes” outside of your plan, you let down something you care about even more. Once you really learn that, “no” becomes a much easier thing to say.” — Trent Hamm

Those who know me closely, know me for being such a nice guy; I always give in and I almost always say “yes”. When I do say “no” I have that guilty feeling cloud over me. But come to think of it, when you change your perspective to the way you phrased it, it doesn’t feel as wrong ya know.

]]> By: gr8whyte http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-273244 gr8whyte Sat, 10 May 2008 07:10:02 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273244 If only it was as easy as saying no. A company I worked for supports X (a large, widely-known charitable organization) by including them as an available payroll deduction. Before the payroll deduction was built into the system, employees would receive X's mailed requests for donations at the office. One day, X, with the employer's blessing, implemented a new procedure where non-donating employees were required to sign a no-donate return post card. Many employees refused and had simply trashed the card while standing at the company mailboxes like anyone would if it was received at home. The signature response was apparently poor for secretaries were then sent around to ask employees if they'd signed and to bug them to sign if they hadn't. All thought this human intervention extortionary and some threatened lawsuits. After a few days of uncomfortable management/employee relations, the signature requirement was dropped. @ K : A "Christian worker" left a message with the local JW Hall's phone # on my voice mail. I ignored it. A few weeks later, I received a hand-written letter from a JW (same phone #) which freaked me out. Haven't heard from them since. If you feel uncomfortable with their visits, you have every right to refuse contact. Have you considered a "No solicitation" sign? If they continue to harass with the sign up, call the cops. If all else fails, file a restraining order. On telemarketing : I'm on the Do-Not-Call list so I put these on indefinite hold but am considering turning the game around and try to sell my junk to them, cajole them to send money to my charity or say there's an intruder in the backyard, could they call the police please and beg them not to hang up. On check-out solicitations : Say no and complain to management (essential to let them know you don't appreciate being hounded for donations). On GS cookie solicitations : Easy. I've mostly stopped eating cookies many years ago and only eat them rarely today so I don't buy any but given the response on this blog, I'd say the GSs ought to be selling Thin Mints year round or begin offering TM options/futures. If only it was as easy as saying no. A company I worked for supports X (a large, widely-known charitable organization) by including them as an available payroll deduction. Before the payroll deduction was built into the system, employees would receive X’s mailed requests for donations at the office. One day, X, with the employer’s blessing, implemented a new procedure where non-donating employees were required to sign a no-donate return post card. Many employees refused and had simply trashed the card while standing at the company mailboxes like anyone would if it was received at home. The signature response was apparently poor for secretaries were then sent around to ask employees if they’d signed and to bug them to sign if they hadn’t. All thought this human intervention extortionary and some threatened lawsuits. After a few days of uncomfortable management/employee relations, the signature requirement was dropped.

@ K : A “Christian worker” left a message with the local JW Hall’s phone # on my voice mail. I ignored it. A few weeks later, I received a hand-written letter from a JW (same phone #) which freaked me out. Haven’t heard from them since. If you feel uncomfortable with their visits, you have every right to refuse contact. Have you considered a “No solicitation” sign? If they continue to harass with the sign up, call the cops. If all else fails, file a restraining order.

On telemarketing : I’m on the Do-Not-Call list so I put these on indefinite hold but am considering turning the game around and try to sell my junk to them, cajole them to send money to my charity or say there’s an intruder in the backyard, could they call the police please and beg them not to hang up.

On check-out solicitations : Say no and complain to management (essential to let them know you don’t appreciate being hounded for donations).

On GS cookie solicitations : Easy. I’ve mostly stopped eating cookies many years ago and only eat them rarely today so I don’t buy any but given the response on this blog, I’d say the GSs ought to be selling Thin Mints year round or begin offering TM options/futures.

]]> By: A.M.B. A. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-273198 A.M.B. A. Sat, 10 May 2008 04:27:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273198 K: re: over-zealous religious people at the door. I either don't answer (but hard to do in the summer when I like my front door open with the screen door locked); answer and appear harried - "No time, I'm making dinner, about to give the kids a bath, etc.", then close the door and/or leave: or say "Sorry, I'm Catholic (or Jewish or etc.) and am not interested in changing my faith", then close the door. K: re: over-zealous religious people at the door. I either don’t answer (but hard to do in the summer when I like my front door open with the screen door locked); answer and appear harried – “No time, I’m making dinner, about to give the kids a bath, etc.”, then close the door and/or leave: or say “Sorry, I’m Catholic (or Jewish or etc.) and am not interested in changing my faith”, then close the door.

]]> By: A.M.B. A. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-273197 A.M.B. A. Sat, 10 May 2008 04:27:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273197 K: re: over-zealous religious people at the door. I either don't answer (but hard to do in the summer when I like my front door open with the screen door locked); answer and appear harried - "No time, I'm making dinner, about to give the kids a bath, etc.", then close the door and/or leave: or say "Sorry, I'm Catholic (or Jewish or etc.) and am not interested in changing my faith", then close the door. K: re: over-zealous religious people at the door. I either don’t answer (but hard to do in the summer when I like my front door open with the screen door locked); answer and appear harried – “No time, I’m making dinner, about to give the kids a bath, etc.”, then close the door and/or leave: or say “Sorry, I’m Catholic (or Jewish or etc.) and am not interested in changing my faith”, then close the door.

]]> By: Eden http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-273182 Eden Sat, 10 May 2008 03:15:05 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273182 Good advice. I agree that having a plan ahead of time makes it easier to say no. I really like your answer for charities though, I think I need to take that approach. I've become pretty good at saying no, but I still mess up from time to time. Regarding the Thin Mints- no need to get crazy and turn those down! Good advice. I agree that having a plan ahead of time makes it easier to say no. I really like your answer for charities though, I think I need to take that approach. I’ve become pretty good at saying no, but I still mess up from time to time.

Regarding the Thin Mints- no need to get crazy and turn those down!

]]> By: Chad http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-273036 Chad Fri, 09 May 2008 22:15:17 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-273036 One thing about budgeting your giving is that it may not give you the flexibility to give to unexpected needs later in the budgeting year--e.g., Tsunami relief, Katrina relief, etc. One could allocate a portion of his charitable giving to particular charities and then leave a portion undesignated, but to automatically say no to spontaneous needs strikes me as inhumane. One thing about budgeting your giving is that it may not give you the flexibility to give to unexpected needs later in the budgeting year–e.g., Tsunami relief, Katrina relief, etc.

One could allocate a portion of his charitable giving to particular charities and then leave a portion undesignated, but to automatically say no to spontaneous needs strikes me as inhumane.

]]> By: getagrip http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/comment-page-1/#comment-272999 getagrip Fri, 09 May 2008 20:57:12 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/05/09/the-sucker-factor-the-cost-of-being-unable-to-say-no-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/#comment-272999 It's your money. It's your time. They (charity or salemen) are making a request of you. Remember, it's okay for them to ask, but most importantly, it's okay for you to say no. Once they forget the second half of the above, they are no longer a charity, your friend, or your pal. They are people intent on harassing you and bleeding you for money. It’s your money. It’s your time. They (charity or salemen) are making a request of you. Remember, it’s okay for them to ask, but most importantly, it’s okay for you to say no. Once they forget the second half of the above, they are no longer a charity, your friend, or your pal. They are people intent on harassing you and bleeding you for money.

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