Comments on: How I Deal With My Financial Fears http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/ Financial talk for the rest of us Sat, 16 Feb 2013 01:14:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Jamie http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-358452 Jamie Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:49:12 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-358452 Hi Trent,

Nice post. I personally think it is a bit off in one regard: No matter how hard you plan, there will always be something that hits you out of nowhere and derails those plans. I really think it is not credible to believe that you can plan away your fear. Defeating fear requires one thing: Faith.

Cheers!
Jamie

]]> By: Todd A http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-356778 Todd A Mon, 18 Aug 2008 03:44:00 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-356778 Two things I think are worth mentioning here:
1) My dad’s advice to me; “Most things that CAN go wrong in the world, DON’T.”
2) A shameless plug for my multiple-goal/responsibility calculator, LifeCALC (link on my name). I developed this over the last 3 years, because of my fears/concerns for my responsibilities as head-of-household for my young family.

]]> By: Moolah http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-356656 Moolah Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:34:58 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-356656 Our financial fears are usually in line with our personal fears that we deal with. For example, if one of your fears are about taking chances in life. 9 out of 10 that will spill over to your financial live also. I know so many people who always ask me, when it is the right time to invest, and I could give them a blueprint from Warren Buffet, and they still do nothing and wait for the perfect moment. All I can say is Action, Action, Action, and the rest will take care of itself

]]> By: Erich http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354976 Erich Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:04:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354976 Only vaguely on topic but…

One bit of advice my grandmother gave me, that always stuck out:

Never have an odd number of children, one will always be left out.

She grew up in an era of big families, and saw enough of the above that I believe it. Just thought I would mention it since you mentioned a third child.

]]> By: Ericka http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354425 Ericka Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:46:03 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354425 This theory works for fears that are not financially related too. I’m going thru some of that right now, and your suggestions make a lot of sense in my context as well.

Thanks!

]]> By: Andy @ bloginyourface.com http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354396 Andy @ bloginyourface.com Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:10:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354396 The future of the American economy scares the heck out of me. I fear that I am going to get laid off and not have a big enough nest egg. Ugh…

]]> By: Kevin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354240 Kevin Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:35:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354240 Hannah – the big, most common triggers for the AMT are:

1) high tax deductions (which you may have with the bonus withholding and real estate taxes on home),

2) multiple exemptions (which you don’t have since you’re single, no kids),

3) exercise of incentive stock options if not sold within the same calendar year

4) home equity loan interest NOT used to purchase or improve the home (ie – used to pay off credit cards, buy a car, take a trip, etc)

As a CPA, those are the ones I see the most.

]]> By: Scott @ The Passive Dad http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354232 Scott @ The Passive Dad Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:25:26 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354232 I think we all have financial fears, and it seems more money doesn’t always solve the thoughts and worry from going away. In fact, after the initial euphoria feeling, the thought of what to do with the money and concerns can start to creep in our minds. We all want to be good stewards of our resources and take care of our family. I like that you have a plan of action, budget, and a great attitude towards your family finances. This will allow you to succeed when faced with another challenge.

My wife and I are contemplating the 3rd child as well and going through our many family checklists.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354188 Sarah Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:27:39 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354188 Nice post, Trent. Financial fears dovetail a little too neatly with other fears about ourselves.

@ Megan, I feel for you, as I’ve been in that situation.

]]> By: Hannah http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354180 Hannah Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:18:06 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354180 Probably my biggest financial fear this year is the AMT because I just don’t understand it very well (and seems like something that is hard to research since Congress does some kind of patch on it every year). I’m going to have a considerable jump in income for 2008 from getting a bonus for the first time. As a single person with no kids who has a house…what kind of income is likely to trigger AMT? And how much will that cost? (My employer did seem to tax the hell out of the bonus, so my withholding on the year is pretty high…but the fear is, will that be enough?)

]]> By: Laura In Atlanta http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354161 Laura In Atlanta Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:55:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354161 My financial fears are concerning being able to pay for my parents should something happen to them. I know they have insurance, and money in the bank, but Nursing Homes scare me BIG TIME, so for me, I want to make sure that should something happen to them, that I have $ set aside to have a Home Health Care Nurse to come stay wtih them. Not all insurance covers that and it can be crazy expensive. So, the way I battle this is find, read and keep as much information on home health care that I can find! Also, to build up a nest egg of some sort so that if I had to take time off from work, or go Part Time, so that I could take care of them myself. They are both in their early 70s and doing just fine, but I want to be prepared for the worst. There is no way I can stomach the idea of them living out their final months in a nursing home.

]]> By: Schwamie http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354123 Schwamie Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:33:23 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354123 Reading your posts I wouldn’t have guessed that you were even considering a third child. I guess I dealt with that fear taking the most drastic step one can. I made an appointment and got a vasectomy. Now, I no longer have a fear of having any more children! (Of course my wife and I both decided that her stepdaughter and our son was enough.) As for other “fears”, the best approach is to tackle them head on. Determine what is holding you back from settling what it is and then come up with an organized outline approach showing each step and then actually doing each one until that fear is taken care of.

]]> By: Adrienne http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354122 Adrienne Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:30:43 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354122 Great post, and applicable to a lot more than financial matters!
My biggest fear right now is that I won’t be able to find a balance between paying off debt and saving, and not making myself feel deprived. I haven’t figured it out yet but at least I’m going in the right direction, i.e. decreasing debt.

]]> By: Chris http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354116 Chris Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:17:07 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354116 Great post Trent, as usual. My biggest financial fear is losing my job. My wife and I have about 12 months of living expenses in liquid savings and we live below our means, with no debt except our mortgage. But I still fear it. My company is having a so-so year, and while I think I’ll be okay, you never know.

]]> By: Megan http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354109 Megan Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:53:25 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354109 I fear keeping our spending under control. My husband has a chronic illness that is very expensive to treat. We don’t have very good insurance and are responsible for several thousand dollars out of pocket each year.

That is a stress in itself, but on top of that, my husband has not gotten on the frugal bandwagon with me and therefore spends a lot of money each month–especially on eating out for lunches. I’ve shown him what the totals are (at least $500/month), but he is indifferent and hasn’t made any modifications. I fear that he believes it’s his money to spend since he’s the one who works full-time, but I actually take home more than he does.

His eating out combined with his health costs are taking a big chunk of OUR money that could otherwise go toward savings and debt reduction. (Our only debt besides our mortgage is HIS student loan.) And I’d like to have enough saved to put a big payment down on a modestly bigger home for our growing family.

So I guess my biggest fear is that my husband and I are not on the same page (do not have the same financial goals), and that as I become more frugal I might resent my husband’s spending even more. The other outcome is that I get discouraged and feel like all my self-denial is being erased by him, so then I “treat myself.” *sigh*

]]> By: wendy http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354107 wendy Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:51:47 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354107 A variation of the pro/con list is to make two lists – the first one headed “if I do….” and the other “if I don’t do…..’. As you write down the pro’s and cons within the lists, ALSO record the extra bit of ‘justification’ you say immediately following the pro/con. These add-on bits often lead you to the right decision/action for you.

]]> By: Aryn http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354101 Aryn Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:35:21 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354101 Think of it this way, Trent – if you weren’t earning as much money, you wouldn’t have to pay as much taxes. So, really, having to pay taxes is a sign of your financial success.

]]> By: Amanda http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354079 Amanda Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:01:49 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354079 Fantastic post, Trent. One of my all-time favorite books is called “The Dance of Fear” by Harriet Lerner. It’s a fantastic read. One of the biggest things I’ve picked up from the book is that to face our fears, as hard as it is, we have to keep doing them, on a regular basis. For example, if you’re afraid of flying, you just need to keep doing it. Keep getting on that plane, and keep taking off. She teaches a lot of good techniques about how to face your fear.

Financially, my biggest fear right now is the debt we are taking on for my husband’s dental school education. Even though it is a good debt, and will certainly help us in the long run, it still scares me. This is partially because I’ve never had debt before, and debt scares me. But everyday, I’m facing it head on, trying to journal about, and keeping frequently conversing with my husband on the subject. I guess the best we can do is just “keep on keepin’ on.” Good luck!

]]> By: Mary Beth http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354076 Mary Beth Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:57:37 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354076 Kevin,
I cannot recommend your strategy of living on one income enough. And buy your new home based on that. My DH and I bought our current home 9 years ago. We bought a nice home that we could comfortably afford on one income. All of the “experts” said we could afford more but I was just not at all comfortable with that. (And honestly, with 5 bedrooms, a finished basement and 2900 sq feet not including the basement, who really needs more) Fast forward to now, DH’s industry (the building industry) is experiencing a huge slowdown and he is making about 1/2 of what he made 2 years ago. I am also working part time as all our 4 kids are in school -but we CAN STILL AFFORD our home. We are able to make the mortgage every month, and afford to pay our other bills. Had we gone for a larger mini-mansion, we would not be able to pay our bills.

]]> By: Kevin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354068 Kevin Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:40:55 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/08/14/how-i-deal-with-my-financial-fears/#comment-354068 I have a similar fear that you did about home buying. Currently, we live in a modest 2BR house in a older, but nice neighborhood. However, we have a 1 year old son and 2 big dogs that both need room to run. Our backyard is too small to accommodate both (not to mention we’d like to separate an area for the dogs to “do their business”). Also, our kitchen is too small to have a table with more than 2 chairs. In short, we are outgrowing this house quickly.

We are planning on moving next spring and will most likely have a 20% down payment between savings and equity in our current home. My fears are:
1) Will almost doubling our house payment cause financial stress or require my wife to work more hours, causing our son to be in day care an additional day or 2?

2) Will we be able to find a home we are happy with in the neighborhood we want or will we have to settle for something less to alleviate concern #1?

What am I doing about it
a)Research – numerous projections including “worst case” and “best case” scenarios for selling our old home and purchase prices of the new home
b)Talk to someone – the wife and I talk about it almost weekly
c)Pro/Con list – at this point it is certain we’ll move, so there’s really no point to this unless we’re talking pros/cons of a particular home
d)Spend time thinking about it – probably spend too much time thinking about it already to the point it is causing more stress than it should
e)Baby step – we’re trying to live off just my income for now to see if, when our mortgage goes up, we’ll have enough from my wife’s income to pay for the difference. It’s working well, but will still be pretty close. Another step I’m taking is pushing for a bigger raise at work by taking on more responsibility.

Honestly at this point, I’m ready to just do it. I think we’ll be ok since in the past I’ve had similar concerns and things have always worked out. Any advice anyone else can share?

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