Comments on: Everything’s So Easy for Pauline: Thoughts on Luck, Fate, Money, and Life

By: Robbie

Robbie — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:15:57 +0000

Thanks for this post, Trent. It’s an important reminder.

By: tentaculistic

tentaculistic — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:06:19 +0000

That story about the janitor really hit me hard. I really empathized with him, and wish his story had a better ending than being laughed at behind his back.

I know I’ve been on that end of life, even with a degree. I’ve worked some really tough jobs (toilet cleaning, lots of waitering, working in a kitchen washing dishes and frying food), and it can really wear on you, especially when you know there’s more inside your brain, that no-body seems to value. It can really wear down your self-esteem. I have a good job now, but let me tell you, I always know in the back of my brain that can always go away (esp in this economy) and I can end up scrubbing toilets again. Probably not a bad thing to keep in mind, keeps me humble.

I wish that problem-solving janitor HAD been hired away by the competition, to be their resident creative genius. Wish life was like books…

By: carol

carol — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 15:41:20 +0000

Brilliant! For years I taught in a continuation high school. All those years I taught only one basic lesson…choice. For every one of us, some bad luck is going to happen and we cannot control it. We can, however, make choices on how we deal with it and even small choices can determine our lives.

Your dad could have walked (or run) away from his family and taken care of himself. Instead, he chose to stay and that determined his whole life and yours and influenced the direction of your life and family. I can tell you are very proud and you should be.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:40:29 +0000

Brilliant work, Trent! It’s nice to see that some of the comments from myself and others seem to be making you think. The last thing this world needs is another self-help author or motivational speaker who accentuates the postive while refusing to acknowledge the negative. (Yes, I’m looking at you, lady who wrote “The Secret” and recruited Oprah into your cult.)

Optimistic visualization can be a helpful tool, but only when we attempt to comprehend the full spectrum of human experience can we truly learn, grow and improve. Whether you get hit with bipolar disorder (as I did) or polio, dreams can be devestated. Still, life is what you make of it to a great extent, and the victors are those who never stop trying. Sometimes we have to revise our dreams in the face of unforeseen circumstances, but sometimes we find happiness where we least expected it.

By: Missy

Missy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 12:09:20 +0000

Trent,

This article is so true. I have seen these types of things happen to people along the way in my life, myself included. There are people who can pick themselves up and move on no matter what even with grace. We all have problems, and sometimes it is hard, but I want to be one of those who can keep going. Great article.

Missy

By: Mneiae

Mneiae — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:25:07 +0000

I really liked this post! The first part reminded me strongly of Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers, where opportunity plays a huge role in success. Your father could easily have gone the distance, were it not for his circumstances.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:17:24 +0000

Thanks for sharing. I’m reminded of a local (big) corporation where even the janitors have 4 year degrees. ;)

By: Carrick

Carrick — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:21:35 +0000

That last paragraph is just what I need to read over and over again–I’m thinking every day would be good. I dwell on how much luckier other people are in so many ways constantly. Some have advised me to think about how much worse off other people are to make myself feel better, but that actually makes me even more depressed–as it should for anyone with a heart, I think. So to just say that thinking about others is a waste of time and that your energy is best spent on focusing on bettering your situation is the best solution to me.

By: anjeee

anjeee — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:01:30 +0000

Trent, while I agree with the last four of your premises, sometimes your writing is just too generalized, and you make sweeping statements that are often not true. It is an aspect of your writing that I don’t care for.

You wrote, “Don’t blame others. If something devastating has happened to you personally, don’t spend your time blaming others for it. Your problems and challenges in life are not their fault. ”

In your case with your hearing, I agree, it is not anyone else’s fault. And I also agree it doesn’t help to waste time dwelling on bad things that happen to you. However, to state that “your problems and challenges in life are not their fault” is simply not true in many people’s cases, and your statement is very disregarding. My children and I, for instance, were stopped at a red light on a highway, obeying the law, when a man driving recklessly hit us from behind at 65mph. How are my childrens injuries, and my broken back, not his fault? He was being willfully reckless and careless. I don’t dwell on him, but I take offense at your broad, generalized statement that my problem is not his fault, and can think of many more people and examples where it is indeed someone else’s fault. Domestic violence, for example…

By: LA

LA — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 18:43:11 +0000

Wow – am I glad you included this as one of your favourite 25 (and I agree, the discussion is great). What an incredible writer and thinker you are, it just keeps getting better.

This article has come at a good time for me. I’ve been a bit blue recently; I feel like I living an unauthentic life in that I am not able to tell people I have a hidden disability (epilepsy). It is easy to get caught up in the “poor me” and to blame others for what has happened in my life. But the reality is I am more than successful by anyone’s standards. I have achieved my doctorate, I am a mother of two, I own a house, a car, I am meeting my basic needs and more.

A little positive attitude and gratefulness can go a long way and I thank you for helping me (and others) get back on track.

By: Georgia

Georgia — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 03:35:55 +0000

I know this is late, but try reading Tim Russert’s book culled from all the letters he received from sons & daughters about their fathers after he wrote about his father, “Big Russ”. It is marvelous.

And this is why I’ve developed a very positive attitude over the last 71 years. I have learned to love every place I’ve ever lived, from Chicago to the middle of a farm in the Midwest. I’ve loved every job I’ve had from waitress to S&L Br Mgr. Even to working in a mental institution. I do not wish to suffer, so I search hard for the good in each place and job.

As someone wise once said, What guarantee is there that your other options would have turned out better than the one you took.

By: Jesse

Jesse — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:39:47 +0000

This is a phenomenal post! Thanks for promoting the idea of individual responsibility and never giving up. Churchill probably said it best:

“Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

By: Shevy

Shevy — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 06:47:15 +0000

Your description of your father reminded me of this quote from Robert A. Heinlein:
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

It sounds like your father qualifies. Great post.

By: Michael

Michael — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 17:49:15 +0000

Anne Frank, sure, but Helen Keller was not a good person.

By: Todd

Todd — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:53:36 +0000

I agree. I think this is your writing at its best, Trent. (And it’s always good.) The sentiments and values in this post should be the heart and soul of all personal finance advice–otherwise it’s all simply about greed and self-importance.

By: Hope D

Hope D — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 12:58:56 +0000

I really enjoyed this article. My family has been going through some tough economic times. My husband has a disability that keeps him from working as much as he would like. He is an incredibly talented graphic artist and photographer but is unable to take on the workload that would make us prosperous. It is very frustrating for him. We have been needing a newer vehicle but haven’t had the money. Two of our friends just bought newer vehicles, which were the exact kind we need. It was a little hard for me, I am ashamed to say. I am over it now a few days later, but I needed a reminder not to whine. You article did that. Thanks.

By: Pearl

Pearl — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 11:37:54 +0000

This is the best article you’ve written, in my opinion.

By: Todd A

Todd A — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:51:55 +0000

I’m just 40 years old, but, I would seriously doubt that many among us in the somewhat recent generations have the fortitude to endure and persevere the way so many did in the years around WWII. That’s not to say that we don’t have our own skills and attributes, but, our parents and grandparents really paved the way for us.

By: MoneyBlogga

MoneyBlogga — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:32:47 +0000

What a fabulous article. I’ve read many of your posts but personally I think this one is the best. Your dad sounds like a champ, a real man in every sense of the word. By the sounds of it, he played the hand he was dealt and he didn’t resent it. You are very lucky for that believe me. My own family situation wasn’t anywhere near as blessed – my father took his bitterness out on all of us around him. He continues to do that very same thing to this day because he never saw the value in what he had right there in front of him. Obviously your father did and your respect for him shines brightly through.

By: Susanna

Susanna — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:18:10 +0000

Trent-
Great article on a topic which I’d like to see you explore further.

Jake-
It’s not “bad luck” but the Law of Attraction (as famously set out by “The Secret”). Ever have a day where nothing went right? It the Law of Attraction and yes, your friends who have “good luck” are attracting it whether they know it or not. You can too (and you don’t even have to read or watch “The Secret”). The improvement starts by thinking of yourself as a “lucky” person. Good luck. ;-)