After reading Love is… I was filled with gratitude for the example of my dad. I eagerly rushed him a copy of the book, telling him I recognised him on every page and acknowledging him. Of course, the he did not get it – the book held no appeal to the humble man who instead lives its common sense pages.

I, on the other hand, introverted personality that I am, realised that these things do not come automatically for me and I appreciated the authors exhortation to both value and practise connecting with others.

Later I was fortunate to find a dozen or so copies of the book heavily discounted at my annual bookstore sale. I bought them all and regularly give copies to friends and acquaintances who are launching out on their own in business – wishing them success and reminding them of the rich life to be found by applying the lovecat principles. (Entrepreurial life can be lonely at times).

I also devoured Never Eat Alone – having been introduced to it by none other than Tim Sanders himself, author of …Killer App. Sign up for his newsletter – I have yet to be disappointed by his reading recommendations.

Also, mentioning Knuth’s book in this context is very strange. This book is a collection of algorithms and data structures and has no relation whatsoever to “how [your work] relates to the overall function of your organization”. If someone wanted to be a better soccer player, I don’t think you’ll tell them to go and read books on physics.

In many companies, those who extend themselves are seen as fools or worse, weak co-workers.

Sharing information, offering assistance without gain or goal, alas, are frequently “rewarded” by being used and abused by other staffers, whose only goals is to succeed at any price –and who are usually rewarded by top management because they claim the credit for the work of others and fail to ever give credit to others who help.

That should not stop us from offering aid and information–if we can find companies and managers and bosses who actually value cooperation and commonsense.

One should help where one can, not to gain anything. But because it is the “right” thing to do. It’s pretty sad that we live in a world where people have to write books to educate people on how to give and share. (Well, there are so few examples in the work world. I guess we do need “guidebooks.” But the people who need them the most, don’t read them.)

Life is more than networking and in fact, for many, networking is usually one-way. With a lot of people networking for personal gain only, despite their posturing.

I’ve found jobs for lots of people over my years of working and hired many folks repeatedly. I’ve actively done what I could to help people at work, even when it wasn’t my job. I don’t regret any of it, even when a few of the people I helped returned the compassion by unprofessional behavior.

In the end, very few of those I’ve helped were ever there to “return” the favor in any form of networking.

However, there were strangers who extended themselves, with no networking history. So there is a circle of good, but not always where you might expect it. People who should, logically, based on your help, be willing to extend themselves, often do not. While others, who have NO reason, will help.

So, sometimes, the good you put out there comes back. But mostly, just do good because it’s better than doing nothing. Or worse, actively hurting others in business or life.

Even if you get screwed in business, as the most compassionate generally do, it’s still worth extending yourself.

Some things just can’t be measured on a profit/loss statement.

Simply being nice to people is no guarantee that they will be nice back.