Anyone who does something you wish you had the skill to do can be a mentor in some manner. My daughter is a master of developing such relationships. It seems natural for her to share her needs and interests with others, and listen to theirs. When she sees a fit, and likes them, she develops a relationship. Frequently, it is she who makes the first move to help them with a need, and it inevitably results in a benefit to her.

She has learned to do stained glass (and been given many expensive tools and supplies in the process) and install a new motor in her old car, to mention only a few. Incidentally, the repair to her vehicle was not from a friendship she nutured directly, but through the wife of a mechanic. It was just one of those bonuses you wouild never expect.

She stores information in her head, even if she hasn’t a personal need for it. Eventually, some may used to assist on a third party basis.

In one case, for example, a good friend was losing her beautiful home on 40-acres because her husband fell sick with cancer. He has working part-time, but a long distance from their home. My daughter had previously rented a beautiful home in a gated community near where he was working. She knew the owner did not want to rent the place, but that it was vacant and probably the perfect thing for her friends. So, she contacted her previous landlord, explained the situation, and based upon her relationship with them, and the trust they had in her, they offered the couple a lease on the house for about half of the going rents in that complex.

Where this kind of a situation exists, it is essential that there is a strong trust of all parties, since you could be blamed if things don’t work out.

Whether by purposeful act, or simply offering to help someone that you know could help you, you can develop wonderful relationships and mentorships at the same time; it’s often a very fine line between the two.

I have begun doing this in the past few years, too. I must say, my life has become richer for it in a number of unexpected ways. It has forced out of my previously self-imposed isolation, for one thing. I have also made some of the best friends of my life through the experience.

You can have formal and informal mentorship relations. The informal is when the mentor is not aware of their position. And we all have had them, some unconsciously.

As the founder of Mentory – a free global mentorship community. My goal is making it possible for everyone to experience the gift of giving as a mentor and learning and achieving as a protégé.

We use mentors for different subjects formal, informal and sometimes unconsciously – often our teachers. Some may inspire us in our carrier, others in our dreams and finally strength us as individuals.

@John F – I imagine this would be a pretty unusual situation – where everything they did in one field ‘agreed’ with you, but everything they did in another field ‘disagreed’ with you.

People who are ethically weak tend to be so across the board, not just in one part of their lives, don’t you think? It would be like being able to lift a tonne of one material and not being able to lift a tonne of a different material.

People who are ethically weak tend to be so across the board, not just in one part of their lives, don’t you think? It would be able to lift a tonne of one material and not being able to lift a tonne of a different material.

Excellent article. I love reading your take on things. This is something for everyone. We are not born all knowing, and never will be, but if we can find someone who was sucessful doing what we wish to, the best thing we can do is listen and learn!

What if you have someone who is very experienced, knowledgeable, capable and dedicated to their field, and ethically sound within that realm – a perfect choice for a mentor, just as dedicated and enthusiastic as you. However, they are also extremely vocal about issues outside of this field, whether political or social that you find yourself not only disagreeing with, but finding truly ethically questionable. How does one handle a situation like this?

The next likely place to find a good mentor is at a school, because a good mentor is always someone that is knowledgeable and enjoys teaching others what they know. Many people are knowledgeable, but few are teachers.

Now, having said that, I do believe that one should “sit at the feet” of the master. The deceased ones who have stood the test of time in dispensing words of wisdom and sage advice on it seems all things. I’m talking ancient and modern philosophers, businessmen and women, artists, and other great thinkers, according to your calling.

Having myself been tapped to play the role of mentor since law school and beyond, if you do seek a mentor, I have this piece of advice for all would-be mentees: Be sincere and just treat the whole process as becoming friends. If you wouldn’t want to be friends with your mentor, then that’s not a good fit for you. More on this in my post called “Heroes and Mentors” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/08/11/all-about-you-day-9-heroes-and-mentors/

Another great way to find mentors in this modern age is to start a blog. I recently started a blog to chronicle the steps I’m taking to start my own computer consulting business. Already my blog has attracted readers who were once in my shoes and have been willing to help me out with advice and guidance.