Comments on: Stop Trying to Impress Other People

By: luxurylover

luxurylover — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:38:31 +0000

I don’t care about impressing other people, but I like the finer things in life. I think designer clothing looks better, I love the look of luxury cars, i want to travel in style to exotic places, and own a modest sized home in a decent neighborhood that is decorated with fine art pieces.

What’s the matter with that? If I can have all that on the cheap and build wealth too why shouldn’t I?

By: Richard

Richard — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:45:42 +0000

For me, For more years than I can recall, I could give a big whoop, about what anyone thinks of me, or the way I look. As there are 2 of us in this house, there are 2 cars. One 1991, one 1988. They get us to where we need to go. WE have a roof over our head, clothes to wear, food for our bellies, and that is enough. Two computers, One work, one personal. If there is anyone, in the world who wishes to judge me because of the way I look, it’s not my problem. If they are that shallow, They don’t need to be in my life, and that includes some of my relatives. It’s their problem, not mine. I only have 2 pair of jeans, without holes in them. Most of the collars on my shirts are worn out, but they still cover me and keep me warm, when needed. I have 1 pair of shoes, that are now 6 yrs old, and still are in good shape, no holes or worn out soles. All my bills are paid by the 7th of each month, and whats left supports us. Gas & such.
The only person anyone needs to please is themself. Trying to live your life to please other people, means you are never going to be happy or satisfied. Make yourself Happy, and anybody else will be able to see that, and your life will be much better.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:37:46 +0000

Hi Trent, You’ve inspired me to write about this as well, I hope you don’t mind terribly but I have quoted this article in my post. Keep up the awesome work, you have quite the fan base!

By: Matt

Matt — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:51:10 +0000

This article is the TRUTH! I think we are dealing with a self esteem issue. If a person doesn’t love themselves, they will buy things so that others will say, “Wow, look at what you have!” instead of “Wow, look at who you are!”

The article clearly states that when you are about to buy something ask yourself, “WHO ARE YOU BUYING THIS FOR?” So therefore, most of the refuting of this article is off base.

If it’s for you, then this article doesn’t apply. But the content here is truth.

By: Ryan K from Going Carless

Ryan K from Going Carless — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:24:32 +0000

What a great post!

A few years ago I was a director of a non-profit geared towards teens. I purchased quite an expensive projector and surround system.

Since the non-profit disbanded I kept the projector and even selected my apartment because of the large wall to watch movies.

After reading this post when it was published I got to thinking. Do I really need that projector? I hardly ever even watch it anymore. The only reason I keep it around is for that reaction when people come over to watch movies. So I was inspired. I put it on ebay where I can expect to bring in upwards of $1000. That $1000 will go straight towards paying off the credit card debt with which I bought the projector!

Thanks again for this post!

By: Marcia

Marcia — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:42:31 +0000

I guess it totally depends on if I have a job on the island. I would be living in shorts and flip flops, with some exercise gear if I weren’t employed. But I am employed, and I have to wear long pants and close-toed shoes for safety. I would be happy to never wear a dress again, however.

My house would be the same size, but with a bigger kitchen (I love to cook).

I use a clothesline now and I still would. I would probably still like my electronics for entertainment (computer, Ipod) and organization (Palm).

I totally get you on the baby clothes though. I have some friends who shop at fairly high-end stoers (maybe they are middle-end, but they seem high end to me – Gymboree?) My best friend shops there because she doesn’t have access to many hand-me-downs (though she does look at used stores) and she likes the quality.

My neighbor shops there, and I just shudder at the cost. I am lucky that my best friend passes down all her son’s clothing to us, so we’ve maybe spent $300 in 2.5 years on clothing for him.

I wonder if for some, it’s less “they need to look good” and more “it’s convenient”. We use hand-me-downs because they are incredibly convenient and available. If I had to spend time scouring yard sales and used clothing stores, I might feel differently. In fact, when I have “needed” something for my son that he didn’t already have, I generally just go to Kmart, rather than search the used market.

By: Michael

Michael — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:03:53 +0000

Were I on an island like that of the Swiss Family Robinson with my dear family, I would have a better house, better clothes, better everything. They might or might not be bigger, but they’d be better. Also, we would build a cathedral and memorize the Dream of the Rood. But I won’t do any of that here, so when I keep up my expensive health insurance I wish I had the guts to drop, am I trying to impress someone?

By: diya

diya — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:18:06 +0000

gr8 article n true that we shud live for our comfort and not bother abt wat others think but this is again true that all people dont lead their life comparing n competing with others. we might go for luxurious items to make our loved ones happy for they r the ones who care abt us n the same care we show back to them by providing them with luxury n comfort that make them happy n also makes us feel good that we could do something for our loved ones..!

By: plonkee

plonkee — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:48:44 +0000

I’m a very private person, and no one comes round to my house. If I lived on an island in the circumstances that you describe, I’d be forced to tidy up a lot more often. And eat better food. Even the people I don’t need to impress, I want to impress.

By: Sally

Sally — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:25:19 +0000

I think some keeping up is good. If it’s everything – then your life is out of balance. Let’s admit that it is fun to have some luxury – whatever that luxury may be to you. Maybe someone would have a smaller house – but a really expensive high count thread sheet set. Or – a really huge house with modest furnishings. A hut for a house (not much cleaning) with a hummer parked next to it – lots of fun driving around the island!

By: Battra92

Battra92 — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:47:28 +0000

I don’t know how much we buy to impress other people or how much we buy to keep up with the Joneses but at times I do wonder about how some things we buy just to enjoy them. For instance, if I had the room I’d own a full home theater. I wouldn’t want to impress anyone, I just love films and would love to be able to see certain classics in my own private theater.

I have a 1 year old car. I keep it clean enough and an old man commented the other day at the grocery store that he liked my “new” car. Now I liked that he liked it, but frankly most people think my Elantra is kind of blah looking and boring to drive, which is just fine as I needed reliable and gas saving transportation to get to work. I’ll keep it at least 9 more years and then move on.

Skimp on the non-durable goods and splurge on the durables, I say. That’s not impressing, that’s just being smart.

By: Yolanda

Yolanda — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 23:14:30 +0000

I agree 100%. We should not store up treasures here on earth, or live outside of our means. My husband and I have 5 children. We shopped around for a 5 bedroom two bathroom home and paid just $65,000 for it! It has a 15 x 20 eat in kitchen that is just beautiful and a huge fenced in back yard. It is perfect for our family and a perfect price! I cannot fathom why someone would want to pay $450,000+ for a huge home with no yard and the neighbors too close.
We would love to have a big screen tv, but since it is not affordable to us, we settle for our 20″ regular t.v. We don’t need a big screen and we don’t care what our visitors think of us because we don’t have one. :)

By: clashboard

clashboard — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:54:02 +0000

Hi everyone. This is my first post. I discovered this great site a few days ago, and I’ve been really engaged in all of Trent’s entries and reader comments that I’ve read so far!

I definitely agree with Writer’s Coin. I’m really into cars and would love to buy a 2008 VW R32 ($27K), but I’m torn… should I take on a 5-year car loan that I can afford or should I be practical? I’ve made huge progress paying off my credit cards, mainly using Dave Ramsey’s techniques and I’m $6K away from becoming debt free.

I’m still driving my ‘97 Toyota RAV4 that I bought 11 years ago. It’s been trouble free, but man, I want that new car BADLY!

By: Writer's Coin

Writer's Coin — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:50:40 +0000

I agree with Patrick. A lot of the time, the reasons we buy things we don’t need but want isn’t to impress, it’s just because that’s one our things we’re really into. Like I would love an iPhone or TMobile’s G1 phone—not because they are the “it” thing to have—but because I love technology and gadgets.

By: jreed

jreed — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:14:23 +0000

Your reasons for not putting up a clothesline have changed from your original blog. Truth teaches us much more than truthiness. Your own hearfelt struggles with these issues will yield many more responses than the condescending tone of “you should feel this” and “you shouldn’t think that”.
I love my Honda Fit, my clothes from box stores and my service trade job but….sometimes getting cut off by a BMW driven by an expensively dressed, coifed and manicured professional does give me a twinge of inadequacy. Then I drive in my payment free car to my mortgage free home and look at my bank accounts. Not keeping up with the Joneses gives me a sense of freedom….
Is there a breeze in the spare room where you currently dry your clothes?

By: M E @

M E @ — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:56:18 +0000

I am especially stricken by the comment with regard to babies and/or toddlers and their clothing.

My youngest nephew, who will be 5 in about a month, his mother (my brother and she are not married, never were, etc.) spends, IMO and my brother’s, obscene amounts of money on buying designer duds for him.

We buy him nice clothes for his birthday and Christmas, yet she seems to turn her nose up at them and tells my brother to keep them at his house for my nephew to wear. @@

By: AD

AD — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:41:25 +0000

Also, I just opted out of keeping up with the Joneses one day when I saw that driving fancy new cars and having a big house was going to prevent me from doing other things I love–like traveling. One trip to Europe completely changed my mindset. I’d rather drive old cars and live in a small house so I can sock away money every month for real, memorable experiences.

By: WhirlMind

WhirlMind — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:37:56 +0000

Consider this possibility : Stretching the idea that “I don’t have to bother about someone” actually can make you eccentric. Eccentric again is a relative thing, but you shouldn’t realise that you have become eccentric one fine morning, if being labelled an eccentric actually makes you uncomfortable. Coming to “don’t bother”, just take wrist-watches, for example. What is it that separates a watch for men from a watch for women, except someone’s label ? The same thing is also true about color choices. You are FREE, of course, to make your choice, but you should also determine, whether you would be a comfortabe with the “eccentric” label, which others are free to make about you. Iwanda’s Comment #2 on the seminar-man’s jacket is an exampple. Also if “don’t bother” was okay, why would you provide a rider on “of course, it’s important to dress to culture”. How about dressing functionaly as you see it and accept the consequences ? Of course, you won’t have these problems on that island. If you make a list of the “flip sides” of taking a purely functional approach to everything and ignore other’s impressions, those are the ones, the reasons why people make choices the way they make them. A lot of people won’t be comfortable to be labelled eccentric. If it comes to functional merits like “green” choices that’s a different matter. I think, the island is a poor hypothecative example to handle this.

By: AD

AD — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:37:18 +0000

“If you have a closet full of expensive clothes, but would always wear jeans and a t-shirt around the people close to you, you’re spending money just to impress other people.”

Or your office dress code specifically says no jeans! :) But yeah, I get the main point. It’s very true, and when you decide to just stop trying to impress, keep up, or portray an image, you can figure out what really makes you happy.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:07:04 +0000

I think you’re half right here, however it’s not always so cut and dried. I wear jeans and t-shirts around my nearest and dearest and I’d wear them 100% of the time if I could! However I also have a wardrobe of expensive nice clothes – because I need them for work. I am expected to dress to a certain level at work and jeans just don’t make the grade unfortunately!

We also live in a wannabe McMansion in an upmarket suburb. Would we live here by choice – no. We live here in this big house because my husband is in the military and it’s a defence house. I tried to convince the housing area that we WANTED to live in a small house and they basically laughed. Mind you, our older and totally paid for cars do look a bit out of place in the middle of this suburb where the average car age is about two years. LOLOL!

I’m just saying that I think the issue isn’t quite as black and white as you’ve posted it. Sometimes there are reasons that people have more than they appear to need and you can’t judge on looks alone.