Comments on: The Power of the Chaperone http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:36:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Brigitte http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-792541 Brigitte Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:26:24 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-792541 I suppose I should add, the reason we started eating the better way, with less boxed food and takeout, was because the 5 year old came home from kindergarten and hung a food pyramid on the fridge. We'd been feeding HER properly, just not the rest of us, but she had to keep a food diary for the whole house--and that was about the time we started doing "family dinner" again. So we were actually following the governmental food guide as far as portion numbers and nutritional distribution was concerned. I suppose I should add, the reason we started eating the better way, with less boxed food and takeout, was because the 5 year old came home from kindergarten and hung a food pyramid on the fridge. We’d been feeding HER properly, just not the rest of us, but she had to keep a food diary for the whole house–and that was about the time we started doing “family dinner” again. So we were actually following the governmental food guide as far as portion numbers and nutritional distribution was concerned.

]]> By: Trent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-397579 Trent Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:12:56 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-397579 I made the assumption that Tyler was a good parent and was feeding his children nutritionally balanced meals. Was that an unfair assumption? If he can do that for under $400 a month, he should be sharing that *everywhere*! Of course families of four could eat for that little. If I fed my family nothing but potatoes, we could easily do it. But that's not a healthy or balanced diet. I made the assumption that Tyler was a good parent and was feeding his children nutritionally balanced meals. Was that an unfair assumption?

If he can do that for under $400 a month, he should be sharing that *everywhere*!

Of course families of four could eat for that little. If I fed my family nothing but potatoes, we could easily do it. But that’s not a healthy or balanced diet.

]]> By: Marcus http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395996 Marcus Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:46:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395996 As a reader of the site for 2 years (come early November) it's ridiculous the way Trent takes offense to anything relating to how much they spend on food (if it's below the average) or having to do with clothe diapers or a clothesline. He can be a real jerk to some people on these issues. Tyler never said anything about healthy eating at that price. He spoke about eating cheaply. I'll give you a hint. Eat lots of potatoes, rice and instant soup. If I had to, I could eat off of $1/day. As a reader of the site for 2 years (come early November) it’s ridiculous the way Trent takes offense to anything relating to how much they spend on food (if it’s below the average) or having to do with clothe diapers or a clothesline. He can be a real jerk to some people on these issues.

Tyler never said anything about healthy eating at that price. He spoke about eating cheaply. I’ll give you a hint. Eat lots of potatoes, rice and instant soup. If I had to, I could eat off of $1/day.

]]> By: BonzoGal http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395944 BonzoGal Fri, 17 Oct 2008 17:15:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395944 Tyler and Kevin- Trent didn't say you COULDN'T get below those guidelines- he just said it would be really difficult, and that if you can do it you should share your methods! And seriously- you should, because any and all hints on this subject are helpful. Tyler and Kevin- Trent didn’t say you COULDN’T get below those guidelines- he just said it would be really difficult, and that if you can do it you should share your methods! And seriously- you should, because any and all hints on this subject are helpful.

]]> By: Charlene http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395903 Charlene Fri, 17 Oct 2008 16:22:34 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395903 Since I've started really watching prices & couponing, I do much better if I go alone--I take my time to look and compare, and my family tends to get impatient with that. I find myself starting to rush, and end up forgetting something or adding extras. For so many years we just bought whatever we wanted, they still have a habit of spying something they want and just dropping it in the buggy. Since I’ve started really watching prices & couponing, I do much better if I go alone–I take my time to look and compare, and my family tends to get impatient with that. I find myself starting to rush, and end up forgetting something or adding extras. For so many years we just bought whatever we wanted, they still have a habit of spying something they want and just dropping it in the buggy.

]]> By: Kevin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395847 Kevin Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:19:59 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395847 Trent, I agree with Tyler - that was a pretty bad assumption on your part to think NO ONE could get below the USDA's budget for food costs. You of all people (being frugal and all) should know that government statistics aren't the norm for people like us. Trent,

I agree with Tyler – that was a pretty bad assumption on your part to think NO ONE could get below the USDA’s budget for food costs.

You of all people (being frugal and all) should know that government statistics aren’t the norm for people like us.

]]> By: Jenzer http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395770 Jenzer Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:15:55 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395770 The advice to shop with a list every time you go into a store is spot on. I'd add the emphasis to do this with EVERY store you go into--not just the grocery store, but the hardware store, the electronics store, discount department stores, the mall, the office supply store, etc. Heck, these days I don't even go into thrift stores or garage sales without a list prepped ahead of time. A $.25 impulse buy at a garage sale can still be a waste of money, even if the item is "only" $.25. My best grocery-store "chaperone," besides a list, is my Weight Watchers electronic Points calculator. I've saved myself from a *lot* of caloric damage at Trader Joe's by using it to evaluate the tempting new merchandise they're always putting on their shelves. The advice to shop with a list every time you go into a store is spot on. I’d add the emphasis to do this with EVERY store you go into–not just the grocery store, but the hardware store, the electronics store, discount department stores, the mall, the office supply store, etc. Heck, these days I don’t even go into thrift stores or garage sales without a list prepped ahead of time. A $.25 impulse buy at a garage sale can still be a waste of money, even if the item is “only” $.25.

My best grocery-store “chaperone,” besides a list, is my Weight Watchers electronic Points calculator. I’ve saved myself from a *lot* of caloric damage at Trader Joe’s by using it to evaluate the tempting new merchandise they’re always putting on their shelves.

]]> By: STL Mom http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395760 STL Mom Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:52:52 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395760 When I was a broke college student, one friend was great to shop with for clothes. We would talk each other out of almost every purchase, so we only bought things we really needed, and only if it was an excellent deal, and only if it worked with everything else we already owned. As an adult, I have a friend who used to work in retail clothing stores. She is great to shop with if I have a specific clothing need, because she can help me find just the right thing in a short amount of time, and she won't let me dilly-dally and try on things I don't need. Elizabeth - I know about living in a small town where there isn't much to do other than go to the mall. In nice weather, could you suggest walking around a park, or through a nice neighborhood? How about watching a fun TV show together, and making jokes about the commercials? Or even just putting on your running shoes and seeing how quickly you can get around the mall without stopping to shop? When I was a broke college student, one friend was great to shop with for clothes. We would talk each other out of almost every purchase, so we only bought things we really needed, and only if it was an excellent deal, and only if it worked with everything else we already owned.
As an adult, I have a friend who used to work in retail clothing stores. She is great to shop with if I have a specific clothing need, because she can help me find just the right thing in a short amount of time, and she won’t let me dilly-dally and try on things I don’t need.
Elizabeth – I know about living in a small town where there isn’t much to do other than go to the mall. In nice weather, could you suggest walking around a park, or through a nice neighborhood? How about watching a fun TV show together, and making jokes about the commercials? Or even just putting on your running shoes and seeing how quickly you can get around the mall without stopping to shop?

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395504 Elizabeth Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:20:44 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395504 I have noticed this tendency to overbuy when shopping with certain people. I don't like it, but I find that I feel kind of stuck because the particular friend I over-shop with frequently asks me to go out shopping or running errands with her because she is lonely. I enjoy her company and I know she is lonely in the evenings because her husband has to work weird hours, and I really don't mind spending the time with her. What I do regularly find myself regretting is my excessive spending after we've spent an evening spontaneously going to the nearest mall, almost an hour away. Any suggestions for how to curb my spending without cutting back on time spent with my friend? There isn't much to do in our little town. I have noticed this tendency to overbuy when shopping with certain people. I don’t like it, but I find that I feel kind of stuck because the particular friend I over-shop with frequently asks me to go out shopping or running errands with her because she is lonely. I enjoy her company and I know she is lonely in the evenings because her husband has to work weird hours, and I really don’t mind spending the time with her. What I do regularly find myself regretting is my excessive spending after we’ve spent an evening spontaneously going to the nearest mall, almost an hour away. Any suggestions for how to curb my spending without cutting back on time spent with my friend? There isn’t much to do in our little town.

]]> By: Tyler http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395346 Tyler Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:56:18 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395346 You're right. The USDA knows my food budget better than I do. If I was spending more than $400/month on food then we'd be going into debt each month just to feed my family. If I'm only bringing home $15,000/year and 48% goes to my apartment bill, almost 33% to health insurance then we are left with around $3000. It's entirely possible to live on $3000/yr for gas and food. Just because you can't doesn't mean others can't. You’re right. The USDA knows my food budget better than I do.

If I was spending more than $400/month on food then we’d be going into debt each month just to feed my family. If I’m only bringing home $15,000/year and 48% goes to my apartment bill, almost 33% to health insurance then we are left with around $3000. It’s entirely possible to live on $3000/yr for gas and food. Just because you can’t doesn’t mean others can’t.

]]> By: BonzoGal http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395323 BonzoGal Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:06:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395323 It's funny, but even though I noticed food prices creeping up, I didn't really get floored until I realized that my twice-monthly loaf of wheat bread was costing me $5 a pop! I joked to my husband that I'm getting old (I'm 44) because my first reaction was, "Back in MY day a loaf of bread cost blah blah blah..." And my husband's response was that he hadn't noticed food prices AT ALL for about the last 20 years. (In other words, not since he was a 'starving college student.') That made me further realize that shopping on my own turns out much cheaper than with husband in tow because he grabs name brands and impulse buys and never ever checks the prices. It’s funny, but even though I noticed food prices creeping up, I didn’t really get floored until I realized that my twice-monthly loaf of wheat bread was costing me $5 a pop! I joked to my husband that I’m getting old (I’m 44) because my first reaction was, “Back in MY day a loaf of bread cost blah blah blah…” And my husband’s response was that he hadn’t noticed food prices AT ALL for about the last 20 years. (In other words, not since he was a ’starving college student.’)

That made me further realize that shopping on my own turns out much cheaper than with husband in tow because he grabs name brands and impulse buys and never ever checks the prices.

]]> By: Kristen at The Frugal Girl http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395303 Kristen at The Frugal Girl Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:41:14 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395303 Trent, I feed the six of us(two adults, and four kids, ages 9, 7, 4, and 2) on $400 a month. It's no easy task, and has taken a lot of practice, but I do it without buying much in the way of prepackaged food, and we eat a lot of fruits and veggies(I post my menu each week on my blog, so if you're interested you can see what we eat on $400). I don't receive any help from the government or anyone else either. I live near several big cities in MD, so my food prices aren't unusually low(at least not compared to yours in Iowa). Anyways...it's a job to keep my grocery bill this low, and I'm sure that as my children grow to eat as much as adults do, my budget will have to rise. But for now, it works. Trent, I feed the six of us(two adults, and four kids, ages 9, 7, 4, and 2) on $400 a month. It’s no easy task, and has taken a lot of practice, but I do it without buying much in the way of prepackaged food, and we eat a lot of fruits and veggies(I post my menu each week on my blog, so if you’re interested you can see what we eat on $400). I don’t receive any help from the government or anyone else either.

I live near several big cities in MD, so my food prices aren’t unusually low(at least not compared to yours in Iowa).

Anyways…it’s a job to keep my grocery bill this low, and I’m sure that as my children grow to eat as much as adults do, my budget will have to rise. But for now, it works.

]]> By: Trent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395244 Trent Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:22:47 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395244 "Yes. That devious bottle of Italian dressing is a killer. I buy what I want when I want it regardless of who is with me (and still spend far less than $400/month to feed a family of four). It’s called self-control." The USDA seems to contradict your claim: http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/USDAFoodCost-Home.htm Their August 2008 food cost estimates on their thrifty plan (which is as bare bones as you can get while still being nutritionally balanced) for a family of four is $602.80. If you can honestly halve that without government supplementation or a large time investment of your own, you should be promoting your plan far and wide. “Yes. That devious bottle of Italian dressing is a killer. I buy what I want when I want it regardless of who is with me (and still spend far less than $400/month to feed a family of four). It’s called self-control.”

The USDA seems to contradict your claim: http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/USDAFoodCost-Home.htm

Their August 2008 food cost estimates on their thrifty plan (which is as bare bones as you can get while still being nutritionally balanced) for a family of four is $602.80. If you can honestly halve that without government supplementation or a large time investment of your own, you should be promoting your plan far and wide.

]]> By: Foxie http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395235 Foxie Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:54:07 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395235 When my husband got deployed, it was the first time I ever had to grocery shop for just myself... We always shop on base, since it's insanely cheaper at the commissary than anywhere off. (Both in the price of the food and the lack of tax.) It's usually a pain to get through the lines at the end, since it's typically always busy... So I decided to limit my trips to 20 items or less, therefore allowing me to use the express lanes. I always make up the list beforehand, and always stuck to it since I otherwise wouldn't qualify for the express checkout. It's saved me quite a bit of money and a lot more time, plus showed me that I can ignore the impulses. Or, if I get the urge to buy something not on the list, I have to take something off my list and substitute the new item. When my husband comes back next week, I'm sure he'll go back to grocery shopping for us. He's really good about taking a list I make up, plugging in his iPod, and just getting what I've written down... Sometimes to my detriment when I forget to add something obvious to the list. :) The grocery store has never gotten me as far as impulses go... I'm really bad at the mall when I have money set aside for spending. Then I'm ready to part with it and often do without thoroughly thinking anything through. And, as far as that goes, my husband usually keeps me from buying things... He guilts me out of them because I already have "a lot of clothes." :) When my husband got deployed, it was the first time I ever had to grocery shop for just myself… We always shop on base, since it’s insanely cheaper at the commissary than anywhere off. (Both in the price of the food and the lack of tax.) It’s usually a pain to get through the lines at the end, since it’s typically always busy… So I decided to limit my trips to 20 items or less, therefore allowing me to use the express lanes.

I always make up the list beforehand, and always stuck to it since I otherwise wouldn’t qualify for the express checkout. It’s saved me quite a bit of money and a lot more time, plus showed me that I can ignore the impulses. Or, if I get the urge to buy something not on the list, I have to take something off my list and substitute the new item.

When my husband comes back next week, I’m sure he’ll go back to grocery shopping for us. He’s really good about taking a list I make up, plugging in his iPod, and just getting what I’ve written down… Sometimes to my detriment when I forget to add something obvious to the list. :)

The grocery store has never gotten me as far as impulses go… I’m really bad at the mall when I have money set aside for spending. Then I’m ready to part with it and often do without thoroughly thinking anything through. And, as far as that goes, my husband usually keeps me from buying things… He guilts me out of them because I already have “a lot of clothes.” :)

]]> By: Tyler http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395231 Tyler Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:48:35 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395231 Yes. That devious bottle of Italian dressing is a killer. I buy what I want when I want it regardless of who is with me (and still spend far less than $400/month to feed a family of four). It's called self-control. Yes. That devious bottle of Italian dressing is a killer. I buy what I want when I want it regardless of who is with me (and still spend far less than $400/month to feed a family of four). It’s called self-control.

]]> By: Finola http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395201 Finola Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:01:30 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395201 Well, I just finished my pre-trip list - things I need and want to buy in duty free and here in Barbados that we can't get in St. Lucia and it's a balance sheet of sorts - what income I have coming in, in hand etc vs things to buy- if I didn't do this I'd be lost when I hit the shops later! I'm in with the spouse-shopping crowd who tend to buy more together! And I'm with Trent on the kids-as-chaperone - I regularly brought my niece and her friend home with me from school - both 13 - they'd ask, beg, dance, sing, whine, but I knew I had to set an example and I'd even stop them spending their own coins at times too. I'd even go as far as not picking up items I knew I needed but that might seem frivolous! I won't tell them what good chaperones they were though - the effect would be lost! Well, I just finished my pre-trip list – things I need and want to buy in duty free and here in Barbados that we can’t get in St. Lucia and it’s a balance sheet of sorts – what income I have coming in, in hand etc vs things to buy- if I didn’t do this I’d be lost when I hit the shops later!
I’m in with the spouse-shopping crowd who tend to buy more together! And I’m with Trent on the kids-as-chaperone – I regularly brought my niece and her friend home with me from school – both 13 – they’d ask, beg, dance, sing, whine, but I knew I had to set an example and I’d even stop them spending their own coins at times too.
I’d even go as far as not picking up items I knew I needed but that might seem frivolous! I won’t tell them what good chaperones they were though – the effect would be lost!

]]> By: Kevin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395184 Kevin Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:39:19 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395184 I'm in the same boat as Trent. Wife, not so good a chaperone - but when I go with her it's usually on "sample day" and that ends up adding a couple things not on the list. Overall, we are pretty good about sticking to the list. Of course there are always things we forget to list...does that count? My one-year-old is a good chaperone since I know if I wander, he'll start to get fussy being cooped up in the shopping cart too long. So with him, not only do I bring a list, I try to organize it by the store layout so I don't miss stuff and have to go back for it. I’m in the same boat as Trent. Wife, not so good a chaperone – but when I go with her it’s usually on “sample day” and that ends up adding a couple things not on the list. Overall, we are pretty good about sticking to the list. Of course there are always things we forget to list…does that count?

My one-year-old is a good chaperone since I know if I wander, he’ll start to get fussy being cooped up in the shopping cart too long. So with him, not only do I bring a list, I try to organize it by the store layout so I don’t miss stuff and have to go back for it.

]]> By: Trent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395183 Trent Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:39:12 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395183 "Wow, this is the exact opposite advice I, and anyone else I know with young kids, would usually give, for both financial and healthy eating reasons." My advice was to find people who encourage you to spend less and focus on shopping with them. Right now, my kids are good chaperones. That doesn't mean they always will be. Besides, I think shopping with them and setting a good example by sticking to a list and not buying silly stuff is worthwhile. “Wow, this is the exact opposite advice I, and anyone else I know with young kids, would usually give, for both financial and healthy eating reasons.”

My advice was to find people who encourage you to spend less and focus on shopping with them. Right now, my kids are good chaperones. That doesn’t mean they always will be.

Besides, I think shopping with them and setting a good example by sticking to a list and not buying silly stuff is worthwhile.

]]> By: plonkee http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395172 plonkee Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:08:37 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395172 I think that taking your kids with you to the supermarket and sticking to a list and only buying healthy food is a learning experience. I've never tried it myself, but I suspect like many other learning experiences, it's also hard work. I think that taking your kids with you to the supermarket and sticking to a list and only buying healthy food is a learning experience. I’ve never tried it myself, but I suspect like many other learning experiences, it’s also hard work.

]]> By: asithi http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/comment-page-1/#comment-395166 asithi Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:52:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/16/the-power-of-the-chaperone/#comment-395166 This is exactly the reason why I am not the gatekeeper of the refrigerator in our home. Whenever I go, I have a tendency to want to try new things (a habit I picked up from my mom). This usually result in a 30% increase in our food budget. So I usually give my husband a list and he picks it all up. This is exactly the reason why I am not the gatekeeper of the refrigerator in our home. Whenever I go, I have a tendency to want to try new things (a habit I picked up from my mom). This usually result in a 30% increase in our food budget. So I usually give my husband a list and he picks it all up.

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