Comments on: When Networking Doesn’t Work: There’s No Value in Just “Touching Base”

By: davey

davey — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:24:19 +0000

there is so much pretension and ulterior motivation in all of this. there is great value in simply helping people for the sake of helping – you don’t always need to “get something out of it.” it may sound hippy-ish (and i loathe hippies!), but being friendly is easy. KJC – you were spot on… it’s karma (ugh, more hippy terminology).

and i love that “i just don’t have time” statement. yes. you do. get your priorities in order. the time that it took you – and me – to read this great post and the subsequent comments AND comment yourself says you have time.

peace out.

By: Carol

Carol — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:35:35 +0000

I, too, feel like Caleb in that I am always the one initiating the conversation with former colleagues (by e-mail). After reading this post, though, I was inspired to e-mail my former colleague with a question. I was happy he replied and feel like I would like to write back, but it seems there is some unwritten e-mail etiquette of “one question, one reply” without feeling like you are too much of a pain. Does anyone else feel like this?

By: Prabu Rajasekaran

Prabu Rajasekaran — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:49:57 +0000

Trent,

What things you do if you want to create a network in a new field? If you want to increase your knowledge say, in SEO, how do you figure out who to contact?

Thank you.

By: Alex C-G

Alex C-G — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 08:07:46 +0000

Very good points indeed. It’s a big problem here in China that people will send massive group emails to everyone they met at a networking event, requesting referrals immediately. These are the same people who thrust a card in my face without even getting to know me…

In my case I send a customised LinkedIn invite to follow up, which automatically adds each persons’ name instead of a generic “Hi everyone!” Admittedly, it’s another group email but since my business is helping people network it generally adds value for anyone I meet from a networking event as well as letting them see who I know on LinkedIn, leading to potential referrals and co-op in future.

By: goldsmith

goldsmith — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 07:01:16 +0000

I would disagree. I do a lot of “just keeping in touch”. I do it only with colleagues whom I value as people. I work in a large and fairly hierarchical organisation, and I do it both with people who are or were my superiors by grade, and people with whom I was in the same grade and who I might have been promoted over (not to manage them, as that isn’t done where I work). My yardstick as to whether I am wasting anybody’s time is the speed and tone of their response. Based on that, I seem to have a lot of friends like prodgod. :-)

Unlike what you write, Trent, I don’t always have something of value to offer them except human contact. But years from now, they might work on an assignment where they might have info that’s really relevant to me. They might be my boss. I might be their boss. Or we might be colleagues in the same division. Then the keeping in touch will really pay off. The other stuff you suggest also works, of course, when you have to offer it, but if you restrict yourself to contact people only on that basis, there might be too few opportunities for contact to even speak of a relationship?

By: jblee

jblee — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 05:19:21 +0000

Of course there are people who contact you for their own sake; no intentions of helping you, or simply just want to chat on nonsensical topics. I tend to ignore these kinds of contacts. It’s just a waste of time.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t think of ways to add value (or be of help) to my contacts. I usually initiate the first move of adding value to the relationship. Yes, there’s risk involve in doing so, but how will I know if that person is trustworthy if I always keep my guard up?

By: The Comeback Kid

The Comeback Kid — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 04:14:24 +0000

In my profession, networking pays off even if you rarely stay in touch.

Ive found myself needing new work from time to time, and just knowing people in the industry and having worked for them previously is all it takes to get a foot in the door.

As far as keeping in touch with them, every time I eat out I try to hit a restaurant where I’ve worked with a manager before. You get to say hello, often get a discount, and get an idea of the situation they have with employees at the time and whether they are looking for someone they know they can rely on rather than taking a chance on a random new hire.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:02:29 +0000

I don’t know if I agree with this, Trent. I’ve heard somewhere before there are two types of people – those who chase and those who want to be chased. Sounds like Caleb is a “chaser”.

Like other comments, it’s not that the people don’t enjoy hearing from Caleb, maybe they just don’t have time or anything important to share at that time. I would say as long as Caleb thinks it is important to keep his name in front of them, he should keep contacting them on a regular basis.

By: Ryan McLean

Ryan McLean — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 23:11:23 +0000

I think in the case mentioned above it is kind of “out of site out of mind”. They don’t email back because they are not in your everyday life so they forget about you

By: Writer's Coin

Writer's Coin — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 22:30:12 +0000

I think the big problem most people have is that they only take action once they need something. It’s kind of like boxing (or running a marathon, or any other sport really): you do all the work before the match. If you think you’re going to affect the result by something you do once the match begins, you are sorely mistaken. You don’t tap your network when you need it, you set it up and nurture it throughout and when you need it it will be there.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 21:53:42 +0000

Nice post Trent. I actually just finished a book along these very same lines called Love Is the Killer App by Tim Sanders. I think you've actually done a review on it which is how I found it. I must say I really enjoyed the book, an it (like this post) is all about adding value to your relationships.

By: KJC

KJC — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 21:50:26 +0000

Good advice, of course.

One other point: as you progress in your professional life it won’t be difficult to figure out who the networkers are, and which coworkers aren’t. The networkers will frequently mention old colleagues and industry contacts; the non-networkers NEVER will.

Hook up with those networkers…. stay in touch with them. Some of my best contacts and resources are people I’ve met through networking friends and former colleagues.

Absolutely, try to bring something of value to your contacts. And please, if a contact should put someone in touch with you who needs help, please help them…. it can pay you back in spades and besides, it’s good karma.

By: Philip

Philip — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 21:44:55 +0000

I agree with many people and being in sales I network with everyone I can. I ensure that I have substance in my discussion because I find my next opportunity usually comes from the person’s network. To ensure I do not make “empty” invitations…I always add them to my LinkedIn.com network and/or extend an invitation to another event that I am attending. This way if the person does not wish to just network with me..they can with others.

By: LC

LC — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:54:21 +0000

Excellent advice: avoid the empty contacts. There is nothing wrong with genuine caring for another person. This translates into seeing how the other person is, instead of hoping for personal benefit in the long run. In other words: it has to be about them, and not about you.

By: A Dawn

A Dawn — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:24:57 +0000

Although we are living in the digital age, face to face networking is still the best. Technology (via internet, phone, video) will not be able to replace the importance of physical networking.
Cheers,
A Dawn
http://www.adawnjournal.com

By: jake

jake — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:19:07 +0000

I dont want to admit this but I am the guy that people email and I dont respond and I dont answer. When pushed for a drink or so I make some excuse not to go.

Why? Similiar to what Trent mentioned. A lot of the time its just to talk. i dont want to be mean but i rather do something else.

The emails I answer are the ones that say hey I want to hit you up on an idea for so and so. Or we should get together I have something I’d like you to help me with, and they are specific about it.

The point is I want to know exactly why I am meeting up and what for. There has to be a good relavent reason for me. I have no problems helping, but be specific. I have no problems talking but it should be about something tangent, and idea for a project, a possible career advacement etc.

By: Shanel Yang

Shanel Yang — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:17:42 +0000

Great post, Trent! What’s even worse than just contacting folks without offering anything of value to them or any interest in developing a true friendship with them is just contacting them when you want something from them. This is the worst way to “network” or “keep in touch.” And, yet so many people do it this way. I let go of one-time close contacts whenever their communications with me dwindle to nothing but their (group!) emails to me asking to support their latest special interests.

I highly recommend the book Never Eat Alone for anyone who wants to learn how to network right. It elaborates on all of Trent’s excellent tips here and then some! Good luck, everyone! : )

By: prodgod

prodgod — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 18:53:02 +0000

I guess I see the point, if we’re talking only business contacts for the sake of profit. But, I respectfully disagree. I’m one of those people to which Caleb refers. I rarely initiate contact with friends, family, or even clients. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy hearing from them, I just don’t tend to be the first to make contact.

That being said, I personally really enjoy it when someone contacts me solely for the sake of contact; just to see how I’m doing. I enjoy going out for coffee for a no-strings-attached visit. However, I do have a host of contacts who seem to only contact me when they need something from me and I often find myself resenting that. Don’t they think of me when they DON’T need something from me? Or is our relationship (friend, family, business) only a means to an end?

Unfortunately, it’s almost predictable when someone asks me to coffee or lunch, they end up wanting to try to talk me into some MLM scheme or similar. I consider THAT a waste of my time. And theirs.

Just another perspective.

By: Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy

Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:26:56 +0000

Great advice! I find that all connections in life, outside of your best friends, family, and spouse, are all about providing value. Networking just for the sake of networking is missing the point. You want to create relationships with the few key people that you can connect with based on the value you give eachother. I can go on, but Trent explained it all so much better than I could.

By: Your Firendly Neighborhood Computer Guy

Your Firendly Neighborhood Computer Guy — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:26:25 +0000