Comments on: The Other Choice http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/ Simple, applicable personal finance advice for the modern world Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:46:00 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Suzanne http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-445678 Suzanne Sun, 21 Dec 2008 20:00:09 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-445678 One thing I do now (I'm 52) is don't buy on the spot. I go home and think about it. If it's an outfit and there's only one, I ask the clerk to hold it and they usually will for 24 hours. I go through my closet about every 3 mos. too. When I was donating $ (hundreds) of brand new or worn once or twice clothes, shoes, or purses it made me take a hard look at my frivolous spending. Just yesterday I went shopping with a friend and felt good about saying "I don't really need it". I am saving money for a vacation that I haven't had in years. I even buy the reduced portions at restaurants. It's plenty and I don't enjoy eating the same thing 2 days in a row. I found out too that I was spending $ when I was feeling depressed or lonesome, which is making me look at some other issues as well. Keep a journal of what you spend for a month. I was shocked to see how much I was just throwing away. I went back with a highlighter each day and the total for the month was $350. Now when I stop for a coke or a burger it's because I'm hungry! One thing I do now (I’m 52) is don’t buy on the spot. I go home and think about it. If it’s an outfit and there’s only one, I ask the clerk to hold it and they usually will for 24 hours. I go through my closet about every 3 mos. too. When I was donating $ (hundreds) of brand new or worn once or twice clothes, shoes, or purses it made me take a hard look at my frivolous spending. Just yesterday I went shopping with a friend and felt good about saying “I don’t really need it”. I am saving money for a vacation that I haven’t had in years. I even buy the reduced portions at restaurants. It’s plenty and I don’t enjoy eating the same thing 2 days in a row. I found out too that I was spending $ when I was feeling depressed or lonesome, which is making me look at some other issues as well. Keep a journal of what you spend for a month. I was shocked to see how much I was just throwing away. I went back with a highlighter each day and the total for the month was $350. Now when I stop for a coke or a burger it’s because I’m hungry!

]]> By: Nick http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-403826 Nick Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:32:35 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-403826 At my wise old age of 22, I've learned a lot. In high school, I'd always need those name brand clothes, and preferred brand name food. I didn't have to pay for rent, or anything like that. Once going off to college, and living 'on my own' for a bit, things have changed. I'm the most frugal person I know. I buy all generic brands, shop at thrift stores, and I don't live in the biggest apartment, but it suits me well and it doesn't smell. At my wise old age of 22, I’ve learned a lot. In high school, I’d always need those name brand clothes, and preferred brand name food. I didn’t have to pay for rent, or anything like that. Once going off to college, and living ‘on my own’ for a bit, things have changed. I’m the most frugal person I know. I buy all generic brands, shop at thrift stores, and I don’t live in the biggest apartment, but it suits me well and it doesn’t smell.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398475 Jennifer Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:00:13 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398475 Thanks for the great post! Very inspiring! Thanks for the great post! Very inspiring!

]]> By: WhenIGrowUpCoach http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398205 WhenIGrowUpCoach Mon, 20 Oct 2008 22:03:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398205 This goes so beyond finances. I'll not only use it for "Do I want another pair of black boots or do I want to get rid of my credit card debt?" but also for "Do I want to spend a night seeing a friend's show or do I want to give sit in a bubble bath for an hour?" It's hard sometimes to distinguish the want from the need (especially when your black boots have grown legs and walked away), or it won't be so cut & dry (the friend sat through your show). But I think if I start phrasing my choices this way it'll lead to very different decisions than I'm making now. This goes so beyond finances. I’ll not only use it for “Do I want another pair of black boots or do I want to get rid of my credit card debt?” but also for “Do I want to spend a night seeing a friend’s show or do I want to give sit in a bubble bath for an hour?” It’s hard sometimes to distinguish the want from the need (especially when your black boots have grown legs and walked away), or it won’t be so cut & dry (the friend sat through your show). But I think if I start phrasing my choices this way it’ll lead to very different decisions than I’m making now.

]]> By: WhenIGrowUpCoach http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398204 WhenIGrowUpCoach Mon, 20 Oct 2008 22:02:03 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398204 This attitude of "choices" goes so beyond finance. I'll not only use it for "Do I want another pair of black boots or do I want to get rid of my credit card debt?" but also for "Do I want to spend a night seeing a friend's show or do I want to give sit in a bubble bath for an hour?" It's hard sometimes to distinguish the want from the need (especially when your black boots have grown legs and walked away), or it won't be so cut & dry (the friend sat through your show). But I think if I start phrasing my choices this way it'll lead to very different decisions than I'm making now. This attitude of “choices” goes so beyond finance. I’ll not only use it for “Do I want another pair of black boots or do I want to get rid of my credit card debt?” but also for “Do I want to spend a night seeing a friend’s show or do I want to give sit in a bubble bath for an hour?” It’s hard sometimes to distinguish the want from the need (especially when your black boots have grown legs and walked away), or it won’t be so cut & dry (the friend sat through your show). But I think if I start phrasing my choices this way it’ll lead to very different decisions than I’m making now.

]]> By: Bill in NC http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398098 Bill in NC Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:32:50 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398098 Housing and vehicles are the biggest discretionary consumption items for a household. Control spending in those and you free up a lot of cash for little rewards. Housing and vehicles are the biggest discretionary consumption items for a household.

Control spending in those and you free up a lot of cash for little rewards.

]]> By: YoungMoneyTalks http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398051 YoungMoneyTalks Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:12:36 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398051 Wonderful post and so inspiring! It's pretty crazy that we all have to remind ourselves of the simple rule that you shouldn't buy something if you can't afford it, but it's always necessary. I've pretty much abandoned the idea of using a credit card to make any purchase, making "if you can't pay cash, you can't afford it" my motto. Wonderful post and so inspiring! It’s pretty crazy that we all have to remind ourselves of the simple rule that you shouldn’t buy something if you can’t afford it, but it’s always necessary. I’ve pretty much abandoned the idea of using a credit card to make any purchase, making “if you can’t pay cash, you can’t afford it” my motto.

]]> By: melissa http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-398038 melissa Mon, 20 Oct 2008 17:49:53 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-398038 Lin, you told only half the truth in your response. "Like Anna said, parents take note. The repercussions of the personal choices adult children are making with their money, spending their money on wants instead of true needs, could mean your kids are planning on moving back into your house so you can “help” them with their bills. That brings a whole other set of problems." The same thing can turn around and bite from the other end. Case in Point: My mother-in-law. Love her, but get mad as hell over her stupidity about 5 years ago. She had been the self-sacrificing type, and tight with a penny. At one point she owned several homes (w/o mortgages) that she rented out. These weren't fancy homes in fancy neighborhoods, but still good assents. She also still worked a "regular" job. Then she lost her boyfriend to a sudden death, and it shook her hard. She suddenly went into "Why have anything if you can't enjoy it." mode. She did the dumbest thing anyone can do, she started gambling. Of course it was a little, then more, then I can make up..... Now, she has no homes, not even one for herself. She'd gone several years w/o a job. A few months aog, rather than loan her money we gave her the option of moving here (1100 miles from home) to stay in one of our apartments w/o mo. payment. She accepted, and since getting here as found a job that pays $10/hr and sticks her Social Sec. in the bank. I've already told her that if I see her start gambling again, I'll put my foot down. (and if that doesn't work I'll go to court to have her assests put into my husband's custody) I hate to say it, but when she looks back and moans over her past - I don't give her any sympathy, and tell her she made bad choices then and she's changing that now. Lin, you told only half the truth in your response.
“Like Anna said, parents take note. The repercussions of the personal choices adult children are making with their money, spending their money on wants instead of true needs, could mean your kids are planning on moving back into your house so you can “help” them with their bills. That brings a whole other set of problems.”

The same thing can turn around and bite from the other end. Case in Point: My mother-in-law. Love her, but get mad as hell over her stupidity about 5 years ago. She had been the self-sacrificing type, and tight with a penny. At one point she owned several homes (w/o mortgages) that she rented out. These weren’t fancy homes in fancy neighborhoods, but still good assents. She also still worked a “regular” job.
Then she lost her boyfriend to a sudden death, and it shook her hard. She suddenly went into “Why have anything if you can’t enjoy it.” mode. She did the dumbest thing anyone can do, she started gambling. Of course it was a little, then more, then I can make up…..
Now, she has no homes, not even one for herself. She’d gone several years w/o a job. A few months aog, rather than loan her money we gave her the option of moving here (1100 miles from home) to stay in one of our apartments w/o mo. payment. She accepted, and since getting here as found a job that pays $10/hr and sticks her Social Sec. in the bank. I’ve already told her that if I see her start gambling again, I’ll put my foot down. (and if that doesn’t work I’ll go to court to have her assests put into my husband’s custody)
I hate to say it, but when she looks back and moans over her past – I don’t give her any sympathy, and tell her she made bad choices then and she’s changing that now.

]]> By: DivaJean http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397924 DivaJean Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:35:20 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397924 KellyKelly-- I was exactly where you are about a week ago. I was just so mad at how others have squandered our economy to where it is- and then claiming it's all the economy's fault for their lot in life. Last weekend, I was taking my daughter for a quick SuperCuts haircut and getting my wonky bangs trimmed up. You see, I cut my own rather than pony up the $5 for bangs trimming every month. Sometimes, I don't do as well. So there we sat, waiting patiently for our turns, watching suburbia go in and out of the coffee shop next door at the strip mall. I got so fed up at "them"- for their $7 lattes, eating out all the time, fancy new clothes all the time, etc- when here I am struggling and keeping our family afloat. Then over the course of the week- I started thinking more about my frustration. My freedom from worry- from knowing I can make it work for my family of 6 on my lone income- made me get thru it. We have a 15 year mortgage on our home- that will likely be paid off in 2 or 3 years (7 or 8 years early!) versus those who are losing their homes. We know we have no debt- credit is nearly never used- so we have no fears of creditors. It does still get me really mad thinking about the hit my 401K took-- since I'm a gen Xer who will never see a pension and likely no Social Security or Medicare. My choices really do buy me some level of freedoms. KellyKelly–

I was exactly where you are about a week ago. I was just so mad at how others have squandered our economy to where it is- and then claiming it’s all the economy’s fault for their lot in life.

Last weekend, I was taking my daughter for a quick SuperCuts haircut and getting my wonky bangs trimmed up. You see, I cut my own rather than pony up the $5 for bangs trimming every month. Sometimes, I don’t do as well. So there we sat, waiting patiently for our turns, watching suburbia go in and out of the coffee shop next door at the strip mall. I got so fed up at “them”- for their $7 lattes, eating out all the time, fancy new clothes all the time, etc- when here I am struggling and keeping our family afloat.

Then over the course of the week- I started thinking more about my frustration. My freedom from worry- from knowing I can make it work for my family of 6 on my lone income- made me get thru it. We have a 15 year mortgage on our home- that will likely be paid off in 2 or 3 years (7 or 8 years early!) versus those who are losing their homes. We know we have no debt- credit is nearly never used- so we have no fears of creditors. It does still get me really mad thinking about the hit my 401K took– since I’m a gen Xer who will never see a pension and likely no Social Security or Medicare.

My choices really do buy me some level of freedoms.

]]> By: Kevin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397910 Kevin Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:11:57 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397910 I for one really hope this latest market downturn will help change the "entitlement mentality" that exists in this country. Not only is it unhealthy for the household economies involved, I think it is representative of some underlying personal/emotional problems as well. I'm also glad that my household has gotten our act together in the last 5 years to put us in position to have options if something does go wrong and not feel like we're living on the edge like so many others. I for one really hope this latest market downturn will help change the “entitlement mentality” that exists in this country. Not only is it unhealthy for the household economies involved, I think it is representative of some underlying personal/emotional problems as well.

I’m also glad that my household has gotten our act together in the last 5 years to put us in position to have options if something does go wrong and not feel like we’re living on the edge like so many others.

]]> By: PJ http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397593 PJ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:57:28 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397593 So the other side of this is definitely: learn when you *can* enjoy yourself a bit. Yes, use your willpower to save up for something, but then *reward yourself by getting that something*. Once you get into the 'save uber alles' mentality, it's very easy for some people to get 'stuck' there and never let themselves enjoy the fruits of their labors. I say this as one of those people, and it's actually hurt me some professionally at work: I've been working at startups with limited budgets for so long that when I was finally at a place that had plenty of money, I was so hesitant to spend it (hesitant isn't really the word - it just never occurred to me to 'hire it done' instead of doing it in-house b/c it was so much more expensive) that my boss had to prod me some before I saw paying for the pricey fully integrated vendor as a valid solution. So the other side of this is definitely: learn when you *can* enjoy yourself a bit. Yes, use your willpower to save up for something, but then *reward yourself by getting that something*. Once you get into the ’save uber alles’ mentality, it’s very easy for some people to get ’stuck’ there and never let themselves enjoy the fruits of their labors. I say this as one of those people, and it’s actually hurt me some professionally at work: I’ve been working at startups with limited budgets for so long that when I was finally at a place that had plenty of money, I was so hesitant to spend it (hesitant isn’t really the word – it just never occurred to me to ‘hire it done’ instead of doing it in-house b/c it was so much more expensive) that my boss had to prod me some before I saw paying for the pricey fully integrated vendor as a valid solution.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397535 Lisa Mon, 20 Oct 2008 01:22:12 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397535 Kelly, when my husband survived cancer, I began to loosen up. I then spent money for experiences, and family time, and sometimes just a fun day. I still save, cut coupons, go to the thrift store, and work so hard that people tell me to lighten up. But, I spend on life, now. That cancer woke me up to enjoying each day, in the moment. Including sometimes, spending the money I have, if the experience makes our loved ones, and maybe me, smile. Kelly, when my husband survived cancer, I began to loosen up. I then spent money for experiences, and family time, and sometimes just a fun day. I still save, cut coupons, go to the thrift store, and work so hard that people tell me to lighten up. But, I spend on life, now. That cancer woke me up to enjoying each day, in the moment. Including sometimes, spending the money I have, if the experience makes our loved ones, and maybe me, smile.

]]> By: Bill R. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397519 Bill R. Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:39:16 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397519 I continually counsel customers who have constantly used the "Get it now, pay for it later" approach. Thankfully, if they're speaking with me it usually means that they have come to recognize the problem ( hopefully without it being too late). I continually counsel customers who have constantly used the “Get it now, pay for it later” approach. Thankfully, if they’re speaking with me it usually means that they have come to recognize the problem ( hopefully without it being too late).

]]> By: Ray The Money Man http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397446 Ray The Money Man Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:23:08 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397446 After 15 years of slaving in a business I felt stuck in I created my new job at home, at the computer, with my family around me instead of being left behind everyday. Choose what can make you happy. You don't have to do anything! Thanks for a great post! After 15 years of slaving in a business I felt stuck in I created my new job at home, at the computer, with my family around me instead of being left behind everyday. Choose what can make you happy. You don’t have to do anything!

Thanks for a great post!

]]> By: Lin http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397424 Lin Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:38:15 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397424 Excellent job Trent. In many homes across the U.S., parents are dealing with the onslaught of adult, grown children living at home with their parents because of having made very poor choices with their own money, frivolous spending habits etc. The "get it now, pay for it later" buying habit has gotten a lot of people into financial trouble, and many people (including myself) refer to this as "A Sense of Entitlement", and others call it an "Entitlement Epidemic", where young people and older people (who ought to know better) are languishing in credit card debt and some are even expecting their parents to "help" pay their grown children's bills because of having made poor choices. Like Anna said, parents take note. The repercussions of the personal choices adult children are making with their money, spending their money on wants instead of true needs, could mean your kids are planning on moving back into your house so you can "help" them with their bills. That brings a whole other set of problems. Excellent job Trent. In many homes across the U.S., parents are dealing with the onslaught of adult, grown children living at home with their parents because of having made very poor choices with their own money, frivolous spending habits etc.

The “get it now, pay for it later” buying habit has gotten a lot of people into financial trouble, and many people (including myself) refer to this as “A Sense of Entitlement”, and others call it an “Entitlement Epidemic”, where young people and older people (who ought to know better) are languishing in credit card debt and some are even expecting their parents to “help” pay their grown children’s bills because of having made poor choices.

Like Anna said, parents take note. The repercussions of the personal choices adult children are making with their money, spending their money on wants instead of true needs, could mean your kids are planning on moving back into your house so you can “help” them with their bills. That brings a whole other set of problems.

]]> By: Anna http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397404 Anna Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:50:05 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397404 DrFunZ #1, your father was brilliant! Parents take note. DrFunZ #1, your father was brilliant!

Parents take note.

]]> By: Caleb Nelson http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397384 Caleb Nelson Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:03:40 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397384 Yes. I think that if you really want something, you can save for it. If you really do want something, you won't mind completing the time and effort it'll take to get it. Our society has unfortunately taught us the "get it now" complex. If I want a TV, I can finance it at Best Buy. If I want some food right now, the choices are limitless. If I want to buy a house, I could probably find someone to finance me, regardless of my situation. I think that it is good to point out this very important financial philosophy. Caleb www.mefinanciallyfree.blogspot.com Yes. I think that if you really want something, you can save for it. If you really do want something, you won’t mind completing the time and effort it’ll take to get it. Our society has unfortunately taught us the “get it now” complex. If I want a TV, I can finance it at Best Buy. If I want some food right now, the choices are limitless. If I want to buy a house, I could probably find someone to finance me, regardless of my situation. I think that it is good to point out this very important financial philosophy.

Caleb
http://www.mefinanciallyfree.blogspot.com

]]> By: Trent http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397366 Trent Sun, 19 Oct 2008 18:14:42 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397366 Thanks for the thumbs up, Don, but the key word there is "often." I usually do the right thing, but not always. Thanks for the thumbs up, Don, but the key word there is “often.” I usually do the right thing, but not always.

]]> By: Don http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397354 Don Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:54:33 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397354 Trent, I'm referring to the ending bit of your post today (see below). Congratulations on having finally be able to have so much composure and character to make this choice. If I have followed your blog correctly over the past few months, I think you were then still struggling with controlling yourself with certain types of impulsive purchases. Please keep up your good work. Your blog keeps me inspired. "Now, if I don’t have the cash to pay for something, I don’t buy it - and often I have the willpower to not buy things I want, even if I do have the money to buy them." Trent, I’m referring to the ending bit of your post today (see below). Congratulations on having finally be able to have so much composure and character to make this choice.

If I have followed your blog correctly over the past few months, I think you were then still struggling with controlling yourself with certain types of impulsive purchases.

Please keep up your good work. Your blog keeps me inspired.

“Now, if I don’t have the cash to pay for something, I don’t buy it – and often I have the willpower to not buy things I want, even if I do have the money to buy them.”

]]> By: Donny Gamble http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/comment-page-1/#comment-397347 Donny Gamble Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:32:20 +0000 http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/10/19/the-other-choice/#comment-397347 I probably would put myself in the second scenario. Every where that I choose to go I don't need to have the flashes of clothes, but I always present myself in a professional manage. I currently have two retirement accounts set up because I know the value of investing in your future. I also pride myself of being a tight woad on money because I rather save money than to spend it on something that I really don't need. I probably would put myself in the second scenario. Every where that I choose to go I don’t need to have the flashes of clothes, but I always present myself in a professional manage. I currently have two retirement accounts set up because I know the value of investing in your future. I also pride myself of being a tight woad on money because I rather save money than to spend it on something that I really don’t need.

]]>