We have been considering a new car purchase and I recognise in myself the exact external/internal conflict you describe with regards what type of car to buy

Thanks for helping me learn something about myself today!

Influenced by the “gotta own real estate to build your net worth” ethic, I left a lovely small rental home to buy a condo, figuring this was the right time to enter the market. I got a great deal ($12K under appraisal).

There’s only one problem…I hate it. I hate condo living, I miss having a yard (in Florida, you live outdoors most of the year), I left treasured friends and neighbors in my old community…you get the picture.

And, in an economic climate of job loss, insecurity and foreclosures, the five-member condo board has just decided to increase the maintenance fee by $100 per month to create reserves for new pool furniture and gym equipment (there’s nothing wrong with what we have now).

I feel that my financial life is no longer under my control and, while I’m looking forward to my federal income tax break, I wonder if the quality of life deficit is worth it.

Had I read this article before I bought, I would have realized that the standard advice…”own real estate so you can build your net worth” is an external influence. Internally, I was just fine with my little rented cottage, but I felt I was somehow slacking, not being smart about my finances, not getting with the program of home ownership.

Now, I can’t wait to get out of here, and I know it’s going to cost me. So much for listening to conventional wisdom.

As for SUV, we love ours. My husband worked in construction for a while and he was able to load all kinds of equipment in it. And when we do on road trips, there is often plenty of room for others to join us. Though sometimes I feel a little embarrassed driving around town when there is only two of us because it makes me feel like a yuppie.

This is a great post as it touches home with me on many fronts. It articulates very well the trap many of us fall into not only with our spending, but also with our relationships and general outlook on life. I have a brother-in-law who is similarly enamored with hunting in all forms. When I visit him, I too see his “joy” and excitment with the whole hunting experience and my initial reaction is to jump right in with him when he says “you should come along sometime”. Luckily, over the years I’ve learned (the hard way) that all decisions that involve a fairly sizable investment of time and/or money need a cooling-off period or, as I like to say, a time of “objective analysis”. Often I find that when I remove myself from the over-stimulated environment and “rub my eyes” for a few moments, logic and reason win-out. Thanks for the post.

Believe me, I’d love to take public transportation, but my commute would go from a little under 30 min to close to 1 1/2 hours. I’ll take my car, thanks and keep the extra two hours of my life to spend with my son.

And as for SUV envy, I’ve owned both a SUV and a minivan. If you have a family to transport, the minivan runs circles around the SUV in every way imaginable for moving families around.

@LC — you need to realize that your peer group is most likely not “most of us”.

For example, both of the vehicles in our household are paid off and we do not have a car payment, however when we tell people we are thinking of having children they immediately begin to think about all of the “things” we need, including a big, “safe”, SUV. I kind of chuckle and think our sedan and small wagon are just fine. If I’m in a negative mood, I’ll start to tell folks that SUVs:

- have longer braking distances
- handle very poorly when compared to a sedan
- do not accelerate well
- are very heavy and guzzle gas
- feel less connected with the road
- etc.

Great post!

Vince Scordo

http://www.scordo.com/blog/blog – a practical living blog

The external forces in our area say that we are doomed and that leads to 1 of 2 behaviors. 1) Many people feel that they are so deep in the hole financially that they are just spending more and more and at some point plan to walk away from their houses, etc. 2) Others are in super-frugal mode of saving every penny, and forgoing all fun, recreational activities. However, you can see this taking a toll in depression, etc.

If you live in D.C., New York or other large city where you’re near a subway, or busstop, etc… good for you. But your post is ignorant. Sorry.

Of course I sometimes fell into the trap as well and overspent on activities that I didn’t follow through on. At the same time, I was exposed to certain things that I would otherwise not have encountered on my own, and I am very grateful for that.

My brother is a great example. He tagged along with some friends scuba diving one day. Suddenly it became his passion in life!

A friend of mine once asked me why I do so much reading on Personal Finance because it’s all the same concepts repeated over and over (and over). The reason I keep reading is because sometimes I need to hear the same thing over and over. The reason I love TSD so much is that you manage to find new twists. You explain something that I already inately know but don’t apply to my life.

I know how influencable I am, then I step back and I get disappointed that I can’t do that. For example with Steve Pavlina’s big raw diet/juice feasts. Reading his articles, reading about the benefits makes me want to go raw. Then I realize that I just don’t want to make the time, or spend the money on an endeavor like that.

But what it did do was to encourage me to take baby steps towards eating more fruits and veggies. So I think that you can learn from other people’s actions (the exterior motivators). In the SUV case, you might take an aspect that you admire, say the seats, and take that away when you start looking for your next “new to me” car.