Comments on: Teaching Frugality: The Power of Why

By: Travis

Travis — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:03:23 +0000

At the company where I work we use a Japanese system of continual improvement for customer service and manufacturing called Kaizen. One of the tenants is to ask the question “Why?” five times to determine a root cause of a problem. We have these “Why?” signs hanging throughout the facility as reminder.

By: Eva

Eva — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 03:41:46 +0000

Must read book: Why Is The Sky Blue? by Sally Grindley. Also, if there is a co-operative preschool in your area, check it out (cue the “w” question). Enjoy! :-)

By: Gibson

Gibson — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:13:44 +0000

For the record: “Because” is not a good answer. Neither is “Because I said so.” Have reasons for what you do and ask your kids to do.

By: getagrip

getagrip — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 13:40:01 +0000

Whether your child really understands the answers or not, just three points. First keep the answer short and don’t make it a full blown lecture or you’ll get into the habit and bore them to death in later years.

Secondly, if you can, make it a conversation at their level (sometimes asking what they think as others have suggested can lead to this). Half the time they don’t really care about the specific answer, they just want your attention, and they quickly discover that asking “why” is the fastest way to get you focusing on them rather than on what you were doing.

Finally, answering the questions and developing that habit is your means for keeping youself in their lives when their older. I’ve had my kids ask me seemingly off-beat questions where if I were impatient or not in the habit of going further with it, it wouldn’t have lead to conversations about dating, dangerous activities (unprotected sex, drugs, etc.), the current economic metldown, death, religion, etc.

As they get older, sometimes you’re the one who should be asking them “why”, and listening carefully to what they say.

By: greg

greg — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 05:54:09 +0000

I make a every effort to answer my 3-year-old son’s why-questions. I explained him that heat is generated by molecules moving about, and showed him by rubbing his hands so that they got warm – which he enjoyed and wanted to do all over again. But although he is really fascinated by the water meter, I could not get across the idea that you have to pay for the water coming out of the tap. His response was “Daddy, let’s go to the supermarket and buy a bottle of water!”

By: MM

MM — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 01:31:47 +0000

“Child often teaches you as much as you teach the child.”

Here is the real kicker. The meat of the matter.

Thanks Trent!

By: MM

MM — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 01:31:31 +0000

Child often teaches you as much as you teach the child.

Here is the real kicker. The meat of the matter.

Thanks Trent!

By: Carmen

Carmen — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:01:36 +0000

Having experienced children up to and including eight years old so far, three is my favourite age :)

Both my girls were so easy at three; fairly independent, highly communicative and able to do many things. Additionally, day trips and travel become much easier, enjoyable and light due to decreased ‘baby stuff’ needed. And at three, they are also still very cute!

I think the tables then turn somewhere between 4 and 5, depending on when they start school. Oh joy!

By: Daniel Massicotte

Daniel Massicotte — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:45:32 +0000

Hehe, I seem to remember my parents saying something to the effect of “Don’t ask why, just do it!” You have some good points on that though.

Speaking of psychological tool, you could probably use him to help you for writer’s block too. Then he’d be a blog tool! ;-)

By: conny

conny — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 11:59:49 +0000

why do you still have non cfl bulbs in your house ?

why not change them all to CFL (where it was economically suitable in the first place) instead of waiting for a bulb to burn out and then replace them)?

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 06:23:35 +0000

Great post! My 2 sons are in high school & college and I can vouch for the fact that kids WILL absorb, understand and remember some of the answers you give them for years to come.

It DOES matter what you say in response to their questions. Be honest, and give them information on a level they’re ready to deal with. As they grow you can add to the earlier information and they’ll have something to build on.

The time you spend answering their questions and later discussing things with them is very valuable. Start early, while they are willing to listen in order to build the foundation for important discussions in the future!

By: michele

michele — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:48:56 +0000

I have a 15 and 11 year old. This post made me smile. Great memories from what seems forever ago and yesterday at the same time. Just wanted to give you something to think about that I have learned,”I told you so” is healthy for our children,(all in balance) just wish I had learned that earlier than I did.

By: Fred

Fred — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:14:08 +0000

The ones that know WHY will always employ the ones that KNOW HOW!

By: Duncan

Duncan — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:46:56 +0000

With apologies, it should be “Mandi” in my previous post.

By: Duncan

Duncan — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:45:28 +0000

Great post, Trent. I’m from Singapore and I read your blog (almost religiously everyday), but this is the first time I am moved to contributing by way of a comment. There is a certain resonance in a child going on to the “Why?” stage, and I do agree with Mandy in the above post that you are doing the right thing by giving your son honest and clear replies.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:40:22 +0000

Thanks for taking me back in time Trent.
You are so RIGHT about your influence on them!

By: Caroline

Caroline — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:23:53 +0000

Excellent post

By: alice

alice — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:21:09 +0000

I don’t remember my Piaget like I ought to, but it seems that most of the theories on child development say that either the things you say and do with young children matter, or the spirit of them matters. I don’t remember specifics from my own childhood that far back, but I definitely remember the way my parents treated me like an intelligent human being rather than a dumb little kid. It has definitely formed me, whether or not some theorist thinks I can remember it.

By: Mandi

Mandi — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:32:33 +0000

@ Jules- Piaget is hardly the end all be all in child development. Further, that implies that you shouldn’t read to children before they can “remember” it, despite the fact the majority of literacy researchers believe that if a child is not in a literacy rich household before the age of two, he will never catch up with his peers. Trent is most assuredly doing the right thing by answering his son’s questions with honesty and clarity.

By: Penny Copperwyre

Penny Copperwyre — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:29:23 +0000

I don’t have children yet, but I will make sure that I explain frugality and finances to them. As the eldest of a widow, I was privy to my mother’s finances, not the actual numbers, but some of the worry. She explained to me that she used my father’s insurance money to buy the house outright because, so long as she paid the taxes, no one could take our house. They could turn off the electricity, but we would have a place to live. On the less depressing side, she also showed me how to quickly tabulate sales and to rejoice in the second hand market. However, she protected my sister from these tips and my sisters finances are a disaster…. You’re well on your well to helping your son to a healthy financial future.