Comments on: Some Thoughts on Celebrating Valentine’s Day

By: John

John — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 14:12:18 +0000

Roses and dinner. Wow, how thought consuming. How original. Must have taken taken people the other 364 days to think of that one. Make you other half something. Rob is right. A handmade gift is way better than an unoriginal carbon copy of the masses.

I say a relationship needs to be thoughtfull and completly unselfish to last.

By: almost there

almost there — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 03:53:05 +0000

I’m glad I got the roses on the 1st at $14.99/dozen. They are now up to $34.99, same roses, same florist. So, $85 more a week later. Whata markup!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:22:19 +0000

@Jen… that’s crazy that Chicago doesn’t have a S&S! Champaign has 2 that I know of!

By: valletta

valletta — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:13:24 +0000

Love the article.
As a happily married woman (19 years of bliss:) I can attest to the fact that, especially on VDay, creativity matters.

There is nothing I hate more than red roses. Ugh! They always remind me of the Addams Family (YMMV)
Homemade Valentine, homecooked dinner (my husband is a chef so that’s kind of cheating), a day at the beach or a long hike are my favorite Vday activities.

By: Steph

Steph — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:05:31 +0000

Great ideas! This year my honey and I are doing a “day off”, just like you suggested. Our birthdays also fall very close to Valentine’s Day so everything just gets rolled together.

By: KoryO

KoryO — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:37:52 +0000

Battra, I guess you are talking about Lupercalia, right?

There’s also some debate as to the extent that Chaucer more or less started the whole idea of February 14 being associated with romance, since he insisted that was the day that birds paired off (and it just happened to be one of the seven or so St Valentine’s Days on the Catholic calendar at the time.) It kinda makes me laugh to hear about this whole “Hallmark Card forced holiday” thing, since the first valentines date back to the fifteenth century.

Yep, I know about the background of the day, more or less, since I had to do a report on it for my catechism class. I just didn’t think Sheri had to include that snide little last point in her otherwise intelligent comment.

Gotta agree with you on the fresh honey thing, though….or tupelo honey if you can get it.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:36:13 +0000

Ok, I stand somewhat corrected: there is a Steak n Shake (official spelling) in Evanston, and it’s even accessible by public transportation! Woohoo!

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:31:46 +0000

@Melissa: Steak and Shake milkshakes sound like an excellent idea. (Hee hee, you could get one side-by-side shake with two straws if you wanted to be goofy about it!) Sadly, I now live in Chicago where S&S does not seem to exist…for someone who went to college in Normal, IL, the birthplace of Steak & Shake, this is unfortunate. :-)

By: BigMike82

BigMike82 — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:59:54 +0000

All holidays are marketing ploys to “force” people into buying things they really don’t need. My fiancee (wife in 2 months) both agree that there isn’t just one day in the whole year where you can express your love for one another. I like these simple ideas that say, “hey, do something you normally wouldn’t do for eachother.” That’s Love! Cook a meal, drink some wine, cheap and easy, and sure as hell says, “I love you,” more than a $250 meal and a bunch of roses that will welt in 2 days.

As for the day itself, yea, it is a lot of pressure for men, especially with all the dumb marketing that goes on that essentially spells out that if you don’t spend a certain amount of money on this woman, you really don’t love her.

By: Battra92

Battra92 — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:56:34 +0000

Sheri, a lot of women are conniving liars. Of course a lot of men are as well. :P

Also KoryO, you might want to look into the history of Valentine’s Day. It’s really a day honoring the she-wolf that Romulus and Remus were supposedly raised by. It may have been turned into a day of forced romance by a made up story (even the Vatican denies that there is any proof to the story and has since 1969)

EngineerMom, he was also the patron saint of plague, epileptics and Beekeepers. Maybe we should have an excuse to eat some honey. Nothing like fresh honey. :)

By: Eve

Eve — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:29:57 +0000

This year I will be my second Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend and future husband. I plan to wake him up with banana pancakes, give him a box of homemade caramel-filled milk chocolate hearts and make him his favorite dinner. None of this is difficult or expensive to make and it’s everything he loves. Definitely more meaningful than anything store-bought!

By: KoryO

KoryO — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 18:42:40 +0000

Sheri, you know perfectly well that is not the reason that St Valentine is associated with romance. If you don’t want to celebrate the story, fine, but no reason to go out of your way to rain on those people who do want to celebrate it.

By: Sheri

Sheri — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:52:20 +0000

I’m with Shaun, DBCooper and anybody else who doesn’t celebrate valentine’s day. Though I keep having to reassure him every year, hubby still gets nervous when he hears those radio ads that have one guy saying to the other: “Dude, you got it wrong. When she says she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, it means she really does.” Those ads burn my butt. They make women sound like conniving liars, and they guilt men into spending a lot of money. And anyway, Saint Valentine was martyr who was beaten to death with clubs when after he tried to convert Claudius to Christianity. ROMANTIC, huh?

By: MB

MB — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:28:48 +0000

My husband and I will probably do homemade cheesburgers, which is a meal that we love, and then go to a friend’s annual Valentine’s day zombie movie party. I’m not crazy about zombie movies, but my husband likes them, and this is an old tradition among his friends. I can tolerate the zombies for one day a year.

I honestly don’t know how I would react if he gave me flowers. That’s not how our relationship works at all. I would much prefer getting a pineapple or something in he was feeling botanically inclined.

By: stephanie

stephanie — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:02:08 +0000

This year I’m spending more than usual, but for good reason. My SO loves to swim, but that’s impossible during the cold months here. I booked a hotel for Saturday night (this weekend, since we’re both off work, rather than on Valentine’s Day). It was $70 (including tax, and after discounts), but the hotel has an heated indoor pool and hot tub. Since neither of us are working, I think we will check in during the late afternoon or early evening, and swim to our hearts’ content. Then we’ll just hang out, watch movies, and spend time together. The hotel is in my town, so we can bring food from home (the room has a mini-fridge and microwave) or just head back to my place for dinner if we want. The price is more than I originally intended to spend, but since we will get there early on Saturday and don’t have to check out until Sunday at 11, I think the per hour rate is more than justified. :)

By: EngineerMom

EngineerMom — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:00:38 +0000

To all the singles out there:

I was single on Valentine’s Day all the way through high school, college, and for 3 years after college. In high school, it wasn’t a big deal. In college, it wasn’t a big deal, either, because I was introduced to a great tradition:

On or near V-day, the guys in our group of friends would get together and cook a nice dinner (salad, main course – usually pasta, and dessert) for the gals in our group. During the cooking and in between courses, some of the guys would entertain us – usually with a 3- or 4-part skit that they had written themselves. One year, all the guys who played an instrument, knew how to sing, or could read a poem just gave us a little mini-performance instead of the skit. The songs, poems, etc., were directed at ALL of the gals, not just one or two.

The point was to show affection and appreciation to all women, not just the one you happened to be involved in at the time.

We tried to get them to let us reciprocate one year, but to no avail. Apparently the guys enjoyed the whole planning, cooking, and entertaining process too much!

After college, I started my own tradition of celebrating “Singles Awareness Day” by sending a personal letter to one of my single friends letting that person know how much I appreciated his/her presence in my life. That was a tradition I ended up continuing even after getting engaged/married because the single friends appreciated it so much!

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a painful or embarrassing experience. Use the opportunity to do something nice for ANYONE in your life – parents, siblings, friends, etc.

The holiday is supposed to celebrate the saint of Love, not just romantic love!

By: Wendybird74

Wendybird74 — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:43:09 +0000

As someone who used to work in the floral industry, I applaud all of you who do NOT do roses. The roses are (as said above) inflated in price and probably old (since the florists are ordering in extreme bulk for the week leading up to V-day)
Tulips are usually very plentiful and rather cheap this time of year, so if your spouse expects flowers (or for those in the dating scene)they are definitely a less expensive, non-tacky (sorry but carnations are tacky) floral gift.
I love the fish bowl with heart messages idea Rob! That is my idea of a perfect Valentine gift….and no dish washing required! :)

By: Anna

Anna — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:39:48 +0000

The first year I was with my boyfriend he joked about taking me to McDonalds for Valentine’s Day and than said that no he had planned to make reservations somewhere nice. I laughed and said I would much rather have McDonalds, 4 years later we are still planning on doing McDonalds for Valentine’s Day. We always get it to go and sit on the couch with candlelight, no expensive meals, no messy clean ups and candlelight always makes every meal feel special.

By: partgypsy

partgypsy — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:45:47 +0000

I HATE getting roses for Valentine’s day because the prices are so inflated (though I don’t mind getting them the following day when they are 50% off : )). Hubby and I are going out to eat this Saturday for Valentine’s day. We have two little ones that we dearly love, but a dinner at home while nice is NOT romantic for us. Since we rarely use a sitter it is a big treat to have some one-on-one time to ourselves.

By: Kristen @TheFrugalGirl

Kristen @TheFrugalGirl — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:46:05 +0000

I certainly don’t think V-day is a necessity, and I know it’s a Hallmark holiday, but my husband and I have a lot of fun celebrating it anyways. And of course, we do tell each other that we love each other every single other day of the year(we’re on year 13 here).

I do a “14 Days of Valentine’s” for my husband, which he LOVES. Every day from February 1-14th, I have a small surprise for him, ranging from a chocolate treat, to a t-shirt, to a CD, to a favorite meal that I rarely make, to umentionables. ;) Nothing is terribly expensive, but I have a lot of fun planning the surprises, and he really enjoys being on the receiving end.

I do agree with the idea that it’s much better to have love all year round than some big bash once a year. I’ve seen relationships where the husband treats the wife like crap all year and then sends a dozen roses on V-day. No thanks.

In our case, though, it’s a both/and kind of thing…we’re nice to each other all year and we do something extra special for each other in February(because we want to, not because either of us pressure the other into it).

I think that was my longest comment ever. Sorry. =P