for example, do you ever see anyone just sit and wait for a bus anymore? no, we crack-berry, i’m, etc while waiting for the bus/train. anyone just walk from point a to point b? nope, we walk the dog, talk on the phone, use wrist-weights all at the same time. anyone just participate in a teleconference? no, we check email and listen to the teleconference on mute while we discuss an issue with our cube-neighbor.

guilty as charged! but i do make a conscientious effort to ‘be in the moment’ and focus on people that matter. i.e. no phone calls during family dinner.

I’ve worked in multiple jobs where being available for just a couple minutes during “personal time” could save a contract. Web services,like many other services, are expected to exist 24/7. When they are down from 6pm to 8am because you “needed to stand up for yourself”. You might just find yourself out of a job. Other times trying to delay a launch or launch a faulty product is far far worse than working a couple hours over. That being said, when the need isn’t there I don’t answer. I don’t read work email at home anymore and unless my boss calls my personal phone I’m oblivious to any work problems till I come in.

I agree with most of your observations, but I’m not so sure cell phoning while on elevators is up there in the rudeness department, compared to the other situations.

I have heard my fair share of cell phone conversations in bathroom stalls, and I wonder what the people on the other end think when they hear the toilet flush.

Also makes me go EWWWW about the sanitary issues handling that phone after using the restroom facilities.

Definitely most phones need to be on vibrate instead of those inane ringtones. It’s always a riot when I see some straight-laced looking businessperson answering a phone with a heavy metal or vulgar rap ringtone.

I find it’s easier to let the incoming call go to voicemail if it’s on vibrate, even if it’s buzzing loudly, as compared to a ringtone. There’s the compulsive need to stop the ringing/singing, and it’s much more likely that I’ll pick up the call if the phone is in an audio mode.

While saying no can be difficult, it’s necessary at times. What I’ve found works for me is just saying no without trying to offer some excuse or explanation why I can’t do something. When I offered the explanation, I often found myself getting sucked into whatever I wanted to say no to in the first place.

I also make sure I respect the boundaries of others.

On the other hand, I’m lucky enough to work for an employer that respects my time. If I need to leave early or get something done during business hours, they’re cool with that.

It sounds like this book deals more with “a job” than “a career”.

BTW I have never had call waiting. (I once exploded a budding relationship by objecting the young lady’s call waiting!)

I haven’t found scheduling personal things (eg putting gym time on my outlook calendar) to be respected by colleagues or bosses, but I still stick em on there. I’ve found that communicating your boundaries early and firmly will often get them through – it may not be fair but doing it after you’ve had a job for a while is sometimes interpreted as our being a whiner.

I’m with you on call-waiting too. When I call someone’s cell and get that special beep that indicates s/he is on the phone, I never let it ring more than twice. I don’t want to interrupt someone’s conversation. Even if the other party doesn’t pick up, there’s that repeating beep on one side of the conversation and a voicegap on the other each time the phone rings.

And of course, I NEVER put someone on hold for the incoming call, unless I’m intending to make it a three-way conference call.

Sometimes I think the compulsive Blackberrying and cell phoning are ways that people try to convince themselves and others that they are wanted, needed, important, indispensible, and valued. It’s more psychological and emotional than any true business need.

Every Sunday Night I do my weekly market wrap up post and hopefully it is useful to the readership on this blog.

http://chartsandcoffee.blogspot.com/2009/03/sunday-night-coffee-3152009.html

Or medicine!

The tendency to present the choice as “doing things for yourself (personal time) vs doing them for others (work time)” also seems strange to me. A lot of my tendency to spend more and more time on work even when I’m at home is that *I* become invested in the work – and am rewarded for it. It’s not necessarily putting someone else’s needs ahead of mine. Or, when it is, it’s patients needs – not some obnoxious boss, but some sweet kid with a confusing and concerning medical picture that you just can’t get out of your head even though you’re at home trying to go to sleep.

Maybe the “standing up for yourself” / limit setting approach is helpful for many people, but as someone who, along with *many* of my peers is really struggling with this balance right now, this review makes it sound like this book misses 90% of the issue for people who are struggling with a career they really love and which they feel is important, but which they have trouble keeping from impinging on their home life.