I have a friend who is actually starting a business to help people have small, frugal weddings. Wedding planning for the economically conscious, if you will.

She and her business partner are planning (last I heard) to have different levels for their clients: if you just want to sit down with them for a few hours to figure out the major hurdles, and then never hear from them again, you could. Or if you wanted to have someone be there a week before the wedding (or even just the day of, to make sure that everything was running smoothly) you could do that instead.

She told me that they’re hoping to get the business really up and running by the first of the month. I’d be curious what you thought of it when they do.

Sometimes the bride that has big wedding dreams and reads the latest bridal magazines can get disappointed when she actually looks at her funds and starts considering alternatives to her big dreams. Although it may not seem like it will be any fun at all to get married in a discount dress, with people you already know filling the jobs of the hired help, and a pot luck buffet table, but don’t worry. It’s you wedding day! Your building a life long marriage and having your family around to celebrate with you will be the best part.

My wedding day was 06/20/09 and we cut costs here and there but it seemed like a pricy upscale wedding and I had the best day of my life marring the man I love. We were married at the church I grew up in and still attend, but we had my Dad as the efficient. Not for economical reasons, but it happened to be much less costly. We had someone we know drive us to the reception in a year 1940 ford. Beautiful car. We arranged to pay 40 dollars but they said it was their wedding gift to us. The reception Hall was our local Grange Hall. A beautiful building. The grange members were so happy we wanted to use it they said we could for free, but we didn’t we contributed 200 dollars to the Grange. A friend of mine was our DJ and he only charge us 200. Our cake wasn’t cheap but it was reasonable. The tuxes were expensive but worth it, and the food was mostly pot luck. We did cater sandwiches. Big fat tasty gourmet sandwiches, not little finger rolls. Plus our photographer was also someone I know. She is in the process of opening up her own studio. She was reasonable and very good.

I’m the last of my friends from college to get married and at their large weddings, they didn’t have time for their families. We weren’t rushed, and spent quality time with the ones we loved. And we enjoyed delicious food at a spectacular restaurant. I planned it in a day and will cherish the time with our families for a lifetime.

I realize that many of the commenters had very simple weddings, but some of us (generally, women) still dream of having that fairy tale wedding. I did and I got exactly what I wanted for about half the price of what a similar wedding would normally cost. So, my advice will pertain to those people who want their dream wedding, but don’t want to go into debt to have it.

First of all, the number one most important thing is to sit down with your fiancee (or mom, if fiancee doesn’t care to do so) and come up with a budget that you feel comfortable with. Then, stick with it to the very end, regardless of how many times your family says you “have to” do/have this or that at your wedding. You don’t “have to” do anything. It’s YOUR wedding. When budgeting, figure out the three most important aspects of your wedding that you’re unwilling to compromise on. For us, it was flowers, photographer, and food. Then, figure out ways to cut down on costs in other categories. We had a Saturday brunch wedding (because my DH and I love brunch), which significantly cut costs on alcohol and food. But, if you want a Saturday evening wedding, you can still cut costs by keeping alcohol to beer and wine (no hards). I also agree with previous posts that, in many parts of the country (not mine), receptions cost less if held at a restaurant rather than a hotel ballroom or reception hall.

If you’re crafty, there’s a lot of DIY that you can do for a wedding. Basically, anything paper-related (i.e. all stationery/invites/TUs/reply cards/Table numbers, etc.) Papersource.com, paperandmore.com and bluedotpapershop.com are good sources of paper on sale. Decide whether you want to bother with programs, escort cards, place cards, and other extraneous items. They seem to be necessary/expected only in New England. You can also DIY your favors and certain reception decorations. If you don’t want to do favors (not really necessary anymore), that’ll cut down on costs even more. I also DIY’d my wedding jewelry, both mine and BMs. I learned some simple techniques from a “Dummies” book and firemountaingems.com, which also has bulk jewelry materials for cheap.

For wedding attire, don’t bother with the traditional wedding boutiques. JCrew and Ann Taylor have a beautiful line of wedding/party dresses that go on sale all the time. You can also try Craigslist, eBay or the many second-hand wedding gown sites online. Some of the gowns were never even worn (oddly, some brides buy two gowns and then decide shortly before the wedding which one to wear). Also, day weddings generally require less formal attire, which cuts down on costs.

Regarding hiring friends and family, I wouldn’t hire anyone who will be a guest at the wedding to work the wedding for you. The only friend I asked to work was a friend who video’d the ceremony and that was it. You can however, cut costs by asking around for recommendations from friends and family and, depending on how close the vendor is with your family member, you may be able to get a discounted friends/family rate. This is what I did for my wedding and received discounted rates from every single vendor. I would have to say that, aside from having a non-Saturday evening wedding, this saved us the most $. Photography was really important to us, so we budgeted a little more for it. It’s true that photos/video are all you’re left with after the day, so you should get what you want there. If professional photography isn’t important, then by all means do the “disposable camera on each table” thing. However, professional photographers generally know which moments you want captured and are sure to capture them. Wedding guests simply capture the moments they care to capture. And remember, your wedding day is about the two of you. If you don’t like those posed shots, then don’t bother with them. Hire a photographer who specializes in photojournalism.

I agree with previous posters about the importance of a good DJ/emcee (whether amateur or professional). Where I live, we have them both (i.e. DJ’s don’t emcee). After the day, your guests will only remember whether they enjoyed the wedding or not and the DJ/emcee has a lot to do with that. A good DJ/emcee will also be able to move the reception along in a timely manner.

In terms of how long to spend planning your wedding, we spent 9 months, which allowed us to shop around for the best deals while assuring that we weren’t too stressed out. Simpler weddings can be planned in a shorter period of time and more elaborate weddings may require a longer period of time (average nowadays is 12-18 months).

Lastly, I’d like to comment on wedding planners. Most people think they’re a waste of money, but depending on where you live (esp in a large metropolitan city), they may be able to save you a ton of money, often more than the fee you’re paying them. Because they have relationships with the local vendors, they can get you deals that you wouldn’t get otherwise. I didn’t use one, but a friend of mine who is a planner saved one of his clients $10K on catering alone. We did hire a day-of-coordinator, though, a peppy, extremely organized gal. Even though it was an extra cost (which still fit into the original budget), her services were priceless, because I was able to completely relax and enjoy our wedding day.

Maybe it’s just me…but after reading that you bought a car that you didn’t (whether you could or not) pay for in cash, I’ve found myself losing interest in your blog.

I guess my point is that I want ideas and methods to strive towards, which are innovative and make me think how I can keep being frugal. Without the innovation, it just seems like a waste of my time and yours…

1. shoots digital
2. will sell you full-res digital photos so you can make your own prints and album
3. that wont behave like the uninvited guest at your wedding

hit up flickr and do some google searches to find up and coming photogs that are hungry to shoot your wedding for less than your area’s standard rate. most importantly, if you don’t like their style, don’t hire them.

- Chris (part time wedding photog)

My new hubby and I opted for a small intimate ceremony, choosing quality over quantity. I found a lovely dress, we rented a small stone cottage in a nearby park. The ceremony was in front of a fireplace in the sitting room, and we had a really nice dinner for a small group of friends in the adjacent dining room. Easy for us, because neither has a lot of family, we don’t like large gatherings, and we wanted to do something really special.

We bought invitations and thank-you cards at VistaPrint (www.vistaprint.com). We could go online and choose a style to suit us, then were able to edit our own text and move it around, and it was not expensive at all, even with matching envelopes.

We went with simple candle trees and votives for decoration, and our only flowers were a two nice orchids. We brought the table linens ourselves (we shopped around and found some on sale), but we rented china and glassware because we didn’t have enough of our own.

We had a Friday evening wedding in March, and the caterer and photographer were happy to take care of us at a reasonable price, since it was a week night and our group was small. That left them free to take larger weekend gigs.

We wrote our own wedding vows and a friend performed the ceremony for us, so it had a personal touch. We chose our own music and had it playing before and after the ceremony.

When having a small wedding, you can get really creative about the venue: bed and breakfast, historic homes, art galleries, park pavillions, cafes, or other interesting spots.

Our guests all told us we have set the standard for what a wedding should be, so I know we did something right!

I would think having an expensive wedding without having to pay for it and then mocking others who might have to pay for it themselves shows a lot less maturity.

By the way, self-righteous judgement is not the same as matter-of-fact. Why do you hate people who choose big weddings?

I’m not sure I like this post — to me, a lot of your posts are becoming the same… “Save money by skimping out on anything and everything.” I agree with other posters… photographers are the most important part of the wedding expense. But you don’t need to spend thousands. But you shouldn’t get your best friend with their point-and-shoot taking pictures. Hell, I wouldn’t trust a friend taking pictures with their dSLR, personally. An amateur in charge of your memories? WTF?

And the same with a DJ — the frugal trend these days is to just iPod your DJ. You think people just want to mingle and talk at a reception? A reception is 4-6 hours long… after a few hours (including dinner), there’s nothing really to talk about. The whole point of alcohol and dancing is to lighten the moment.

Now, maybe Trent’s post was aimed at people spending $25K+ for their wedding, which is the going average these days. In that respect, I agree that it’s an overspent day. For me, my wedding is expected to cost around $6K, including hall, food, DJ and photographer. A wedding is just one day, and a marriage is a lifetime, completely true. But I’d spend the extra money for reassurance that you never look back and think about what could have been a great day, and instead was chinsy because you wanted to save $100. If you want to be that cheap on your wedding, just get eloped like other posters have mentioned.

We went with a professional bakery for the cake, however.

-I told friends and family to tell my boyfriend (now hubby) that I had a family heirloom diamond ring that he should use as the engagement ring, and save the money for a house down payment. If you don’t have a family heirloom, then vintage jewelry can be bought for a comparative song, and can be really cool and special. Also think outside the diamond box (it’s artificially expensive anyway) and go with sapphires, rubies, opals, pearls (opals and pearls will need to be replaced occasionally, since they’re soft and jump settings – but really, just buy 5 $100 gems and be ready to replace). Or go totally conflict-free and go with a lab-created jewel (a coworker’s fiance did that, and she was so happy with her enormous, suffering-free, cheap sapphire).

-We invited immediate family and “attendants” (they didn’t walk up with us, but had roles in the wedding like reading). Very small guest list – 50 or 60 – and I still found we had very little time with each person!

-We got married in my parents’ church’s side chapel ($300 covered officiant and music too), which was beautiful and in beautiful rolling horse country so the outside shots were great too.

-Had our reception in a restaurant – best decision we made! We had piping-hot filet mignons and gourmet food from one of the top-rated area restaurants (they had a banquet hall that looked a lot like other weddings’ banquet halls, which was free due to the number of guests, and the servers were free other than the generous tip, since they were already with the restaurant). Total was probably $4K, and was the biggest expense. But so worth it!!

-Got 2 amateur photographers who taught photography at the local high school. Honestly, this was not the best idea. They didn’t do a very good job except outside, where their simple digital cameras (why didn’t they have better cameras?? I never understood that!) worked better – but my uncle, a photo enthusiast, took photos too with his sophisticated camera, and those shots were great. So I would say that it worked out ok for us, but our expectations were low – I wanted one really fantastic photo for our wall, and we got that. If I had wanted a complicated wedding album, I might not have been so happy. So I would consider going with higher-grade amateurs if I were to do it again. But if you go with amateurs, I recommend getting 2.

-I don’t really like looking like a gigantic poofy meringe (I’m pretty white-skinned myself!), so I bought a simple but beautiful blue bridesmaid dress. My husband wore a suit we bought for the event (and he uses it still). We color-coordinated our looks and the wedding based on our two favorite colors (red, blue), and told all the guests that *if and only if* they wanted to, they could wear either red or blue to the wedding. The pictures turned out great with all that subtle color coordination – who doesn’t have something in one of those two colors?

-I’ve had other brides set a store (usually Michaels) and a color, and have her bridesmaids get any dress they want. That way they’ll at least be happy with the style, and it may be worn again. Especially if you pick a very neutral color like black, grey, or red.

Anyway, as you can see I’m a big fan of non-traditional weddings.

Thank you!

Because I am hard of hearing and if we were to have music I would have been deaf at my own wedding, so there was no music. Amazing–people could actually TALK to one another! Flowers were bought wholesale and done by my mom’s friend. Photographer was a professional who was a friend of my father’s.

My bridesmaids and junior bridesmaids (all very good friends) made their dresses, with fabric and notions that we bought for them. They wore their own black shoes.

A good time was had by all, except for the many who were either getting over the flu, had the flu or were getting the flu.

This is the downside to getting married in January!

We had a friend do our photos and she did the formal shots before the wedding, then photographed the wedding ceremony and then she was off the hook to enjoy the reception – except that we asked her to get a few shots of the cake cutting. So yes, she did some work on our wedding day, but she also still had plenty of time to enjoy the party.