Comments on: Lifting Your Spirits For Free

By: Angela

Angela — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:01:27 +0000

Trent, I am so sorry to her about your grandma. It is hard when you loose someone so special to you. You will always remember funny things she said, ways she would look when she said something but ment something else and certain smells will also catch you by suprise. You are wise to already have such great coping skills. Thanks for taking the time to share them with us.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:52:00 +0000

Trent, sorry for your loss. Glad that you have find a way to deal with it. It will take time… you may have to remind yourself to pick yourself up again.
Thanks for the uplifting youtube videos. It speaks volumes that you had time to share even when you are suffering.
God bless!

By: Evangeline

Evangeline — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:10:31 +0000

It is important that grief comes for many reasons including the myriad reasons for a shocking, sad change to your life. A year after the loss of my last surviving parent and a few months after a serious health scare, my spouse has informed me only a few days ago of the intention to file divorce. Never saw it coming. When I asked myself how does one overcome the enormity and overwhelming loss of something, I come to much of what Trent and the others suggest: routine as well as faith. Once I pick myself up, come to terms with the loss of a marriage so very important to my heart, I shall know I survived with quiet patience and unwavering faith. Trent, let your grief flow in whatever fashion it choses; it follows it’s own path and you are allowed to resolve it in the manner which gives you the most peace.

By: Georgia

Georgia — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 19:14:56 +0000

Trent – others are right. Grief comes differently for all people. I lost my husband in 2007 and I have grieved very briefly – a few moments at a time. I do not feel like a widow – I am still married in my heart and nothing has changed that. Everyone says that someday I will grieve, but I’m not certain about that.

My husband & I lived apart most of the week because of my job 70-90 miles away. This went on for 18 years. The last 2 years I retired and moved home to be with him. He was able to do things right up to the end of his 3 1/2 months in Hospice. He was incapable for less than 24 hours. Everywhere I look I see reminders of him and it brings him nearer and doesn’t cause grief.

Possibly my strong faith in God and his way of doing things that keeps me focused on continuing my life. Also, we were married for 44+ years and I feel I loved him and he loved me. Love can be longer lasting than the life of the loved one.
I hope you find solace in whatever way you grieve and remember all the times of love you received from your grandmother.

By: Ann McD

Ann McD — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:51:13 +0000

Gracious- what a timely placed article! I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother- my heart goes out to you. My own father died just last week. He had been debilitated for a long time but had the situation that lead to his death was fairly short. My head says he is in a better place but my heart is screaming “Give me my dad back!!!” My family has been a huge comfort in all of this- we share the grief but I think we are also helping each other walk through it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts…

By: grannygoodstuff

grannygoodstuff — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:08:07 +0000

***Corrected typos***
It has been almost 30 years since my beloved Grandmother passed and 6 years since I lost my mom. Two of the most important people in my life. Even now with the passing of time, I still feel the loss. So, if it gets a little heavy, I drag out some of my memories. I share in thoughts our laughter, our joys, and yes, even our sorrows. I look back on these memories as fond friends and it does help to relieve the emptiness. As many before me has said, there is no time limit for the grieving process so just do it at your own pace. You will find in time that the big pain of loss will ease up. Then take comfort in your wonderful memories of your loved ones. They will always be with you, just a dream away.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:03:18 +0000

One of the things that surprised me when facing grief is how angry I got at people around me who didn’t appear to be grieving while I was devastated. I don’t mean my husband, whose relationship with my uncle was cordial, but never close…I mean my family who had relationships of their own, yet seemed to be moving on. One even forgot (Forgot!) the funeral. It’s normal, even though it helps me to remember that we are all different and each of us had our individual relationship with our loved ones and while our world sometimes feels as if it tilted on its axis, that isn’t true for everyone.

Just realize that the moments will come perhaps even years later as it does with me and my grandparents, when the grief will hit me again. When you love someone you miss them when they’re gone.

Thank you for sharing your tips. This is a day when getting out of bed seemed like too much to do, but now that I’m up, I think I’ll go for a walk and cherish memories of my uncle and of my grandparents, gone more than 25 years now.

Bless you,

By: grannygoodstuff

grannygoodstuff — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:44:54 +0000

It has been almost 30 years since my beloved Grandmother passed and 6 years since I lost my mom. Two of the most important people in my life. Even now with the passing of time, I still feel the loss. So, if it gets a little heavy, I drag out some of my meories. I share in thoughts our laughter, our joys, and yes, even our sorrows. I look back on these memories as fond friends and it does help to relive the emptyness. As many before me has said, there is no time limit for the grieving process so just do it at your own pace. You will find in time that the big pain of loss will ease up. Then take comfort in your wonderful memories of your loved ones. They will always be with you, just a dream away.

By: Judith

Judith — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 12:20:06 +0000

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. There is not much to say when someone loses someone dear to them, except I understand and I care.

I read your blog through my Google reader, and think you are doing a wonderful job. God bless you.

By: Another Dave

Another Dave — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 10:00:35 +0000

That meditation thing you mentioned is how I get my self to fall asleep on restless nights. It’s amazing how well that works. I laughed when you were describing it and said that “I’m usually pretty close to sleep” Basially I just pretend I’m breathing out the (usually negative) energy that’s keeping me awake. From my feet slowly up to my head with each breath. Works wonders.

By: Sense

Sense — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 08:38:15 +0000

Thank you, Trent. I’m sorry for your loss–I’ve been there. I have no grandparents left now, sadly. One of my grandmas, who practically raised me, passed away in 2007 and I still struggle with it, although it’s gotten much better and the sense of loss comes farther and fewer between times.

This is a timely post because I’m going through a hard time–something completely unrelated to death. However, grief is grief, and your techniques apply to my situation as well.

I notice that I feel worse about things and dwell on them if I’m not sleeping or eating or exercising like I should. I would also say to focus on babying yourself right now–take care of yourself like you would your child. Or let your wife do that for you. If you need a little time off from the blog I’m sure we’d all understand.

By: Linda

Linda — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:25:50 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandmother was like a mom to me, and I miss her to this day. Thanks too for sharing the variety of ways you are dealing with loss. We can all learn from others. Prayer is my best resort. Prayer outside in God’s creation is even better :-)

By: cookie

cookie — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:38:42 +0000

When my grandmother died, my aunt tried to cheer herself up by anticipating the birth of her own first grandchild. The baby was born about six weeks later. My aunt said at the funeral that it is the cycle of life: one passes and another begins.

By: Andy

Andy — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:28:56 +0000

I can’t believe that you are a Duke fan. I thought you were better than that. This changes EVERYTHING . . .

By: Michelle68

Michelle68 — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:24:31 +0000

I’m sorry for your loss, Trent.

By: kristine

kristine — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:50:20 +0000

I read this, then went to the local state park. My husband had to coax me to get out of the car- my energy is sapped. They are pulling the plug on my aunt tonight- after a massive stroke last night. And my suicidal brother is staying with us. I thought NOTHING could cheer me up. But the great outdoors did, albeit momentarily. Sympathy to you as well.

By: kz

kz — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:22:29 +0000

@ Sarah: Amen. This Sunday is the one-year anniversary of my father’s death. It took me months to finally emerge from the fog of grief.

Trent – I’m glad that you’ve found a way to deal with your own grief. While I’m sure you didn’t mean this article to be a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to grief, understand that a lot of people are just incapable of lifting their spirits after just a week. It took me longer than that just to get back to eating regularly. Again, I don’t think that’s what you meant, I just wanted to throw that out there for anyone else who might be struggling, so they will know to take as long as they need.

By: kai

kai — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:45:10 +0000

Interesting what things lift the moods of different people.
If I’m feeling off for whatever reason, this is my favourite. It’s in german, but you don’t need to hear anything. I can’t make it through this video without smiling no matter what my mood before.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys7iaMJLDsU

By: NED

NED — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:43:53 +0000

This may sound really callous, or really insightful. Depends on how you see it.

How it Ends
by De Votchka

Hold your grandmother’s Bible to your breast.
Gonna put it to the test.
You want it to be blessed.
And in your heart,
You know it to be true,
You know what you gotta do.
They all depend on you.
And you already know.
Yeah, you already know how this will end.

There is no escape,
From the slave-catchers’ songs.
For all of the loved ones gone.
Forever’s not so long.
And in your soul,
They poked a million holes.
But you never lettem show.
C’mon it’s time to go.

And
You
Already know.
Yeah, you already know
How this will end.

Now you’ve seen his face.
And you know that there’s a place,
In the sun,
For all that you’ve done,
For you and your children.
No longer shall you need.
You always wanted to believe,
Just ask and you’ll receive,
Beyond your wildest dreams.

And
You
Already know.
Yeah, you already know
How this will end.

You already know (You already know)
You already know (you already know)
You already love will end.

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/littlemisssunshine/howitends.htm

By: ~Carla~

~Carla~ — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:01:24 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss… :( I lost my grandfather a few months ago to Alzheimers also, and it is tough for a while. However, like you said, you have to live for the ‘now’… sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive family! Thanks for sharing your YouTube videos.. i’ll have to check them out.