It’s also why I made my own laundry detergent and dishwasher soap yesterday. I have time!

I started cashiering when I was laid off of my teaching job and it has really changed my outlook on humanity. When I started I was shocked by how poorly people acted in public, now I’m used to it.

I’ve seen customers throw temper tantrums in public far worse than their children because they don’t get their way. I’ve seen people throw objects, cry, threaten and yell in a store. I’ve been the one yelled at.

It’s an awful feeling to be accused, blamed and threatened if you make a mistake or just suffer a lack of communication, but life goes on, I’m used to it now.

I wonder what goes through the customers’ minds when they go home after having made a scene. Do they feel embarrassed? regretful? I feel embarrassed for them. Do they have some sort of problem? some sort of unaddressed issue that allows them to feel o.k. about acting out in public? Is it a poor sense of boundaries that keeps them from understanding and dealing with the word NO?

There is a crisis in social, critical thinking and problem solving skills in this country. There is a stunning sense of entitlement and lack of boundaries and context.

When a customer screams out loud, in public because the item she thought was on sale was no longer on sale, I wish I could say something about how lucky we have it here. She complains about $5.00, I think of starvation, disease, wars and how privileged we are to have a safe place to go home to.

How many different ways could these problems be solved? If people can’t even communicate in a civil way about the price of a chair or a rain gauge- if assumptions, resentments and other frustrations regularly thwart simple transactions, how on earth are we going to solve real problems?

I finally realized that my time and emotional health were not worth the pay that a cashier gets. I put in my notice after having listened to the umteenth customer unload their hardships on me. I’m there to try and help and I honestly try, but I can’t always fix everything, and I can’t always take the time to explain company policy and procedure. To be perfectly honest, if a customer is respectful I will bend over backward to help. If someone is demanding or rude I feel like they should not have that behavior rewarded (there’s the teacher in me!)

Everyone needs to stop, take a deep breath and realize that we’re all human.

If the cashier is short on patience, that happens too. I’ve dealt with bad customer service myself, but now I really think carefully about how I present myself and really try to take the humanity of that other person in mind. As a result I’ve gotten fast and courteous solutions to a number of problems. Its not always the answer I want, but at least all parties involved have their dignity.

Cashiering has truly changed my outlook on people for the worse. Whereas I used to have a sunny outlook I now have to resist the urge to judge people defensively.

I still force myself to look each customer in the eye and try to value their humanity. To be honest, I’m done on the 26th and I hope to never be in a job where I have to see that side of people again.

First of all, you don’t know a thing about this woman that you are criticizing. Perhaps the woman in front of you was following a budget developed after months of religious personal finance blog following, and all of her kids were at school/work. Or perhaps she was poor. Or single. Or trying to get of the house for a couple hours.

Others have already pointed this out, but there are millions of people who work for less than $30/hour after taxes, and it’s likely that you yourself and anyone else who makes more would do so, too, if for some reason your/their current money-making techniques dried up. Many people do this even if (gasp!) they have children, families, parents, or friends.

And your reasoning is flawed because there is a difference between refusing extra money (that you never planned on having in the first place) and spending extra money (that you planned on having but are losing because of an unexpectedly high tab at a store). I would expect someone writing a personal finance blog to know the difference.

I was behind a woman arguing over a 50 cent discount– this went on for two minutes when I reached into my pocket, handed her two quarters, and asked her to leave. She took the quarters, looked at me stunned and embarassed (I think she realized how stupid the situation was), but she left.

Probably the best 50 cents I ever spent . . .

Viola. Other people are not going to value your time as equally valuable as theirs (no matter if they are married, single, childless, whatever). Stand up for your own values — and that includes your time.

And, Trent, didn’t you ever post about knowing your audience? Don’t you realize that many of your readers must make well under $30 dollars an hour?

So yes, this woman at Target spent her time very wisely. If only Trent had spent his or yours so wisely.

Also, I would like to know why Trent doesn’t defend himself over the comments in these blogs. I can understand ignoring one or two, but it seems as if he’s been getting reamed on several of these posts, and there is no followup, no answer, no accountability. Perhaps we should all make ‘mental marks’ and leave him with no more advertising revenue and send him packing back to a regular person’s job so he can get a good dose of reality.

The value of the $10 vs. time is all relative. If you have little money and lots of time, then your time spent getting what little more you can is worth it. If you’ve got lots of money and little time, the the $10 extra to pay is worth the time you didn’t waste.

As for the woman arguing $10, it’s her right to argue over the price she’s paying if she thinks she’s right. Target is a big store. Get in another line behind people that aren’t arguing about rainchecks if you feel she’s wasting your time.

I’m unmarried, I live alone, and I like it that way. I don’t have kids, and I don’t want kids. That doesn’t mean that my life is meaningless or that I don’t do fulfilling things with my time, but it does mean that I schedule most of my time with only myself to please, so I do make different choices than I would if my family/living situation were different.

Several weeks ago, I spent far more than 28 minutes (the $30/hour rate) protesting a $14 bank fee. I didn’t even manage to get it refunded, but I’m fine with how I spent that time, since at least now I know what it was and how to avoid triggering it in the future. But looking back, if I had had friends or family waiting for me to come home for dinner, would I have considered spending the evening at the bank to be a worthwhile use of my time? Certainly not.

Having said all that, though, I’m not sure Trent really means it that family time is worth $30/hour for him as a general principle. After all, he could shut down the blog, take his kids out of childcare, and have all the family time he wants. Is this blog really so lucrative that it nets him $30/hour after taxes *and* after paying for childcare? If so, I think he’s overpaid.

“Heads-up: it is up to each of us to create meaning in our lives, and if you weren’t able to do that prior to marriage and kids, do not look down on me for being able to do it in my life, without either one.”