I’ll never forget the day that my 2 year old daughter came to me and said, “Mommy, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” My heart melted and my anger at whatever it was that she’d done was completely melted away. Ever since then, we all use that form of apology.

I encourage everyone to try it.

As for the grammar cop– your helpfulness should have been done via a private email . . . I think you owe a very public apology!

Maybe she could have saved her own butt by admitting to herself her a) technological lack of knowledge and b) the tactical inappropriateness of choosing a public forum to lash out at Trent and by making a very public and complete apology.

I know my managers and coworkers trust me and wouldn’t believe for a second that I would “tamper” with someones work. If you don’t feel your coworkers would trust you, your work ethic, your integrity and you need a public apology in front of the entire group for them to know you wouldn’t tamper with someone’s work, then perhaps the problem isn’t with your coworkers.

On the occasions when I have made mistakes, I admit them to the folks involved and my apology is completely sincere, and I don’t make that particular mistake again.

I have been the victim of a very public and very erroneous smear by a woman with no integrity. There was no apology, no attempt by the supervisor to correct the situation, and guess what? My coworkers turned against me. This isn’t an “ego” thing for Trent — it is a very real threat that can undermine him permanently.

How would you feel if you made a mistake and owed someone an apology for it and your boss steps in and makes you do it in front of your entire group? Wouldn’t your apology be a little insincere in that situation?

Furthermore, the boss gave this idiot a chance to redeem herself with the apology in the same forum as the accusation. That she chose not to do so, and in fact, to dig herself in even deeper, was a telling reaction that let the boss accurately assess her character and ensure that she no longer poisoned the workplace.

Had I been her boss, I would have immediately assumed that this little darling was not only pulling this on others besides Trent, but whenever someone accuses someone of sabotage, I assume that they are capable of it and probably engaging in sabotage themselves. In fact, I would wonder if she didn’t sabotage her own keyboard to engineer this whole thing. In any case, She would have been headed out the door.

This attitude is one of the things that causes harm to others as it generally lets others know that we do not care that they are hurt, it is more important that we are in the right.

That being said, one of the finest lessons I ever learned as a young married women was to say to my husband with all sincerity, You know, you may be right.” Actually I faked the sincerity convincingly enough until I realized the arrogance of assuming that it was impossible for him to ever BE right. Many an argument has been sidetracked by learning that simple concept. It is just possible that the other person has a point or may be right and that I may be totally off base. Just maybe…

Even when I don’t understand the nature of the offense, or why someone is hurt or offended by something I have said or done, I do most sincerely apologize for having done anything that hurt them and for being such a clueless individual as to be unable to figure out or remember what I have done and I offer the person the opportunity to explain what I said or did that caused the offense and the rift in our relationship. Hopefully this is the more gracious and loving thing to do, as that is my intent. I am not denying that there is genuine hurt, nor am I denying that I am the cause, and am allowing for an explanation of the way I hurt or offended the person. The goal is to heal the relationship. I am quite willing to humble myself for that, as I have seen the damage caused by the lack.

Trent, this is one of the things I enjoy about your blog and keeps me coming back. There is finance, yes, but the life stuff, the genuine reflective nature of what you write and the real examples keep me coming back. Thank you.

And don’t worry about the grammar! We all know what you’re capable of!

However, your boss was wrong to try and make her apologize publicly. This just causes further embarrassment about the situation and is not necessary and to be honest, was probably not going to have any affect on what you think of her. Sure, she made her pitiful comments publicly, but you’re a big boy… I’m sure you could handle it. Do you really need a public apology to make yourself feel better?

@Sarah – an insincere apology is a waste of everyone’s time and damages your credibility. Sure, it may avoid a confrontation the same way giving a fussy child an ice cream cone keeps you from having to listen to them whine, but it doesn’t really do any good and the situation will just come up again. People who apologize insincerely will also be insincere when they say they will help you with your project and are insincere when you ask them to cover for you. You just can’t trust someone who’s insincere.

As for the pay scale, rates vary widely, depending on the client; $30/hour is representative but not universal. Some clients pay by the page, making the effective hourly rate dependent on the condition of the manuscript, the publisher’s requirements, and the copyeditor’s rate of speed and/or willingness to compromise standards.

And oh, yes, lest those who wished for a $30/hour wage in a recent post become envious of the grammar police, don’t forget that (1) much of our time is taken up with administrative work, which pays nothing, and (2) we are responsible for our own medical insurance, pension plan, and other benefits as well as 100% of contributions to Social Security.