Comments on: Ten Unusual Ways to Improve Your Appearance of Confidence That Really Work

By: MIke Ferguson

MIke Ferguson — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 09:07:16 +0000

Thanks for including my picture in your blog! I am the one on the left.
Great tips by the way. I have presented internationally for over 22 years to audiences from 10 to 4000 and I still get nervous. I haven’t used duck tape but I like the mouth wash idea. Also if using slides, use pictures and not text. I always check the news and try a little humor associated with the news, it can be quite effective. I also always assume someone in the audience knows more than me. That keeps you respecting you audience at all times.

Best Regards
Mike Ferguson
http://www.intelligentbusiness.co.uk

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:43:13 +0000

Nice list of tips, very helpful.You really had me going on the flask one though. I was a little worried about what was going to be in the flask! I did not expect mouthwash, great suggestion.

By: Bob Rogers

Bob Rogers — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 02:36:35 +0000

JOIN TOASTMASTERS!!! I cannot stress this enough.

The organization was started by some Californian businessmen to help with presentations.

85 years later this organization helps people in over 80 countries master Communication and Leadership skills. Anyone in business or climbing the corporate ladder should regard this training as an investment in their future just the same as an MBA would be.

After a couple of years you do not have to act confident, you will be.

Toastmasters.Org

By: Halelly Azulay

Halelly Azulay — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:22:40 +0000

Great, useful tips, Trent. You had me there with the flask… ;o)
Fake it ’til you make it really does work when it comes to confidence. An alternative to the duct-tape (so creative, tho!) for posture is to imagine a fishing line invisibly stretching from your spine, through the top of your head, to the ceiling. Every few minutes, check your ‘line’ and tighten it up. Ballroom dancers practice this centering and posture trick.

By: bill

bill — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:55:37 +0000

I like your tips, and I have an illustration for you of the ‘ask a question’ one. Last night, I watched several Youtube videos of an Irish comic named Dara Ó Briain. As part of his routine, he’ll talk to people, looking for funny things to draw out of them or observe about them. I thought ‘wow, that takes guts’ – and it does, but I realized after a while that for every one, he did the same thing every time – asking what they did for a living, asking something unusual about it (he might ask a librarian ‘whats the heaviest book you’ve ever lifted?). It made them *think*, and gave him time to think things over. Pretty damned effective.

By: Anjo

Anjo — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:10:40 +0000

Thanks for this great article! I’ve always been told that I don’t look confident enough. I’m going to try out these tips and see how they work out for me.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:54:11 +0000

These are GREAT! The duct tape one is brilliant! I’m going to print this and keep it in a file somewhere!

By: Media Designer

Media Designer — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:38:22 +0000

“the person that appears confident is often not as confident as they appear.” VERY true! People tell me that I appear confident and calm onstage, but the reality is I’m sweating up a storm, my bowels are doing the rumba, and my head is a warzone!
If I could calm down, I might remember my lines better!

By: David

David — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:04:04 +0000

Some useful tips – but what you will find is that almost all confident people still get nervous and anxious. They just don’t let that stop them and have the courage to act.

By: Corporate Barbarian

Corporate Barbarian — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:00:24 +0000

Great tips, but I’ll have to take your word about #2. Too much hair back there for duct tape, though I’ve never heard “you in the sweater, out of the pool!” I especially liked the eye color trick.

By: verbose

verbose — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:10:12 +0000

I’ve read about face blindness before, but thought I couldn’t possibly have it. Obviously, if I do, it’s not complete. However, I went to a site with a test for it. The test had two phases. First, you look at a single face, then pick out that face from among others. I felt confident in that phase, though I had to assign words to each face to recognize them, like “chubby cheeks” or “pop eyed.” But I totally failed the second phase of the test, which was to memorize six faces, and then pick out the “known” face from among “strangers.” I had no idea at all. I couldn’t even “try harder” because there was just nothing. My score ended up being below normal.

Thanks for pointing this out, slccom. I’ll have to look into it more.

By: Reema Ramnarine

Reema Ramnarine — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:16:20 +0000

This article is quite accurate. Take it or leave it the facts are the same. Although there are other ways to exert the same level of authority – these will work for you. I recently discovered some of it on my own, and realised a major change in the way my Manager and my staff approach me. Even the senior team has openly applauded me.
Try this before you create any barriers.

By: JG

JG — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 04:58:20 +0000

Thank you very much for the tips, I like them all, although the eye level tip was especially good, closely followed by the eye color trick,

apart from having a flask, I think simply drinking while your doing something relays how relaxed you are, and only confident people are relaxed in stressful situations.

but again thank you very much.

By: Kaizan

Kaizan — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 04:37:59 +0000

Great post!

Another thing people often struggle with, is what to do with their hands. It’s the reason why people clench drinks at parties. Putting your hands in your pockets can also send a signal of low confidence. Ideally your hands should be by your sides, but most people find it hard to do this.

Two tips for holding your hands by your sides are:
1. Hold them by your side as if you are holding two heavy bags of groceries (this really works!)
OR
2. Hold them by your side, but touch each of your thumbs lightly against the corresponding middle finger. Also works like a charm, but requires more practice than 1

By: Mike S. @ Your Personal Finance Source

Mike S. @ Your Personal Finance Source — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:02:28 +0000

Great tips! I agree that it’s especially important to keep up on current events and news because nothing can be worse than a dull and quiet conversation. Also, I think it’s great that you point out “looking down” as a no-no when speaking with others. I know almost everyone does this (myself included) and it’s something to to be conscious of.

-Mike S.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:10:50 +0000

Or do it the iPhone way – with an app!

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=309326085&mt=8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U6Hrjcadgw

By: Manos

Manos — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:37:05 +0000

No 7. Really, my good man, have you never seen a James Bond film?

By: Damester

Damester — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:37:08 +0000

I, too, hate mingling and mixing without a set purpose. It’s easier for business as I have something in common. Socially, ugh.

One of the things that helps is to forget about myself and focus on the event, activity and the people. Look for small, easy ways to comment on something and go from there.

As for questions, you need to keep it simple. A lot of people, surprisingly, are put off by questions.

Simple, easy, questions are best and questions should be based on ascertaining any mutual interests, commenting on event/activity, etc. (avoid heavy duty stuff like religion and politics!)

The more you focus on others, are genuinely sincere in your interests and act naturally, the better.

The bottom line: Some people will always excel at this glad-handing (as I refer to it), while others will not.

I agree that you can do things to help you focus and distract yourself from your fear, anxiety, etc. But I do not think you can fake confidence.

People who really have it smell the phony self-confidence a mile off. And many times it can come off as desperation.

You can accept that you aren’t easy in certain situations and do your best. People you’d want to know can respect that.

Be sincere. Be professional. Look them in the eye and pay attention. Giving full attention to someone (without a stalking level!) is enough to break the ice with most people.

Most of all, use your best manners.

In this day and age, that alone will make you stand out to most people.

The people you want to know won’t expect you to be perfect but will always appreciate real sincerity.

Faking it…not always the answer.

By: Evita

Evita — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:15:54 +0000

This GREAT post is sure to be of help to all of us introverts! thanks Trent!

By: Chetan

Chetan — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:40:45 +0000

I don’t disagree with this post, but I don’t agree completely. In my opinion, in most cases, if the topic being talked about is something that you don’t understand, trying to appear confident may make you a laughing stock instead. It would be much better to listen keenly about stuff you’re not completely knowledgeable about and admit to your lack of knowledge if asked. I feel that people respect you much more for telling the truth this way (or that may be just me).

For example, in a discussion at our Bank, we were talking about the problems with SWIFT (inter-bank) messaging. About 10 minutes into the conversation (which was completely technical), this highly “confident” looking Project Manager stood up and asked “But is SWIFT really that swift?” and made a fool of herself.

Also, the “Hi! I’m Trent Hamm” won’t work at formal meetings where people are also going to be interested in your participation in the topic at hand – in addition to your name. But it would work great at general informal gatherings, though.

Nice post – even if it’s not entirely related to frugality.