I am trying to make changes like this slowly. It is taking me a while to figure out exactly what I value and what I can cut. Good food is one of the things I value, but eating out–not so much. Again, I appreciate a dinner out when I haven’t had one in a while.

I really like your ideas about balance and picking and choosing what works for each individual.

This being said, I own a very comfortable real black leather couch for 4000 USD (paid in cash, of course) and it’s sitting right next to a 150 USD couch table (that is hidden under the table cloth anyway because I wanted one with a huge drawer to store things). Above them is a 20 USD lamp. All of them serve their purpose perfectly.

Yesterday I was wearing a 30 USD pants, a 7 USD blouse bought used and a 130 USD pair of elk leather shoes because cheaper shoes make my feet hurt.
Buying five pairs of shoes made of synthetics (for 25 USD each) just doesn’t help my aching feet, so the 130 USD pair is worth it.
The last pair of elk leather shoes lasted around two or three years and it felt like walking barefoot all the time.
That’s value to me.

For the next person in row it might be something totally different.
Maybe they don’t own a car but use a 1000 USD bike.
Some people don’t have a TV but own and play a beautiful piano.
The next guy saves on groceries and spends on electronic gadgets.
The other uses a five year old mobile and would never consider an ipod but splurges on organic vegetarian food.

The only difficult thing that we need to learn is to find out what matters to us.

Frugality doesn’t mean deprivation or being “cheap” — it’s about supporting your values with your energy, whether that energy comes in the form of DIY, finding a different way to do something or spending money for someone else to do it for you.

For me, that means making my own meals from whole foods, locally grown where possible and making my own cleaning products (which I started doing around 1992 long before it became “trendy”) among other things — why? Not just to save a buck, but b/c it’s better for my health, and the health of the planet.

I find it personally satisfying to know I’m not being wasteful and to score a great deal on something — like a pair of $300 leather boots I really wanted and waited for — saving me a hundred dollars. That purchase was not me being cheap, depriving myself or “not living a little.”

I was trying to explain this to some co-workers the other day who were shocked that I had paid cash for my car (a very nice used 2003), living first on part-time minimum wage and then on my Americorps stipend. This is everything I was trying to say, just worded better and not at all judgmental-sounding (which I’m always afraid of when I try to advocate living frugally). I think I’ll have to send them the link.

Thanks again for an awesome post!

Yaaay Kevin!

That would be miserable to me, dude!

To me there are misers who just can’t see their way to loosening up, and there are spendthrifts who always act like they’re going to die tomorrow so why not spend it all today. The die hards in either camp will never really be able to see the other’s point of view. Fortunately most of the rest of us span the spectrum between the two and are likely to move along that spectrum one way or another as we move through life.

Problem with human behavior is that Spending = Good and Frugality = Bad

I have friends who define it this way, and then they make compromises since they do NOT have money to make ‘good choices’ for the family.

If Latte = Happiness then do it. If Latte = Habit and that is leading to more and more, then it is a Bad Habit.

Money Does Not Buy Happiness. Everyone knows that. So, then what is the formula. Not a lot of people can make a new formula. I will give it to you………

Money Buys Freedom, and Freedom Gets You Happiness

So, Money = Freedom of Choice and
———————————
Freedom of Choice = Happiness
——————————

The person who started this said

Saving Money = Misery

How can Misery be Equal to Happiness

He had the formula all wrong! His math is wrong.
Simple.

I have done a lot of thinking and I do many more compromises in life than the writer of this Blog, but then, we have pleasures of life that bring us happiness that not too many enjoy in life. Not worth describing here but it is much more than living debt free in a great home with nice cars, enjoying good times with family, doing things together, dreaming dreams and accomplishing them and having great family vacations…..

KKP

and dawn, #46- you reminded me of a lady i met in the thrift shop i frequent. i drop a lot of stuf off there, and i also buy a lot there, too.

it’s like looking for treasure, and it’s so much fun.

anyway, this sweet little old lady was standing in line w/ me, and we were both smiling w/ our arms full of great finds, and she leaned in and said to me “now i know where i want them to scatter my ashes!!”

We all have dreams and wishes for our lives, and we can have those without doing anything, but a plan involves executing a set of initiatives that may force us to stop doing certain things while emphasizing others.

Having a concrete plan, complete with action steps and behavior alterations would take a lot of the misery out of these spending choice issues.

TV doesn’t help either because everyone on TV can have and do what ever they want, and they’ll never be poor, fat or ugly. Spend too much time in front of the tube and you’re toast. There’s a perspective problem there.