Nice post.
I make sure to contact one of my friend every weekend. This way i remain in touch with them.

Also like the idea of finding friends on line. Tried it a few times and always get referenced to the seeking mates or sex sites. Anyone find a way around that?

Most of my friends are involved with our small animal rescue. We work together volunteering toward the same goal, and then we finally set up monthly dinners out together, because we just weren’t seeing each other for ‘fun’ enough. This was a great idea and even as an introvert, I could prepare myself for a known event, help choose the restaurants, and also know we always had something to talk about.

I’ve also found Facebook and IM at work to be great at helping me keep in touch without the pressure of face to face or phone conversations, which tend to stress me out.

But, call me paranoid or whatever, but I have always had a rule of limiting my close personal relationships. First, you open yourself up to getting “screwed” by more of them (OK, OK, so I am paranoid) but more importantly, I feeel that the quality of those relationships goes down as the number of them goes up.

I would greatly prefer having two or three really close friends to having twenty that I really can’t seem to connect with…

Thank you!!

Like others I’m an ‘introvert’, maybe not surprising as like Foxie pointed out, I’m reading blogs alone rather than out making friends.

I don’t really have friends which may seem weird but I’m generally content with that. Doug hit it on the head, I want deeper conversation, most aquaintences seem shallow. I tried the common interest thing, but it seems that my hobbies are more suited to 65 year olds and I really don’t want to do the night club thing. Honestly, I would rather have teeth pulled than have a social calendar!

Wouldn’t it be great to have a friend matching service like there are dating services. I saw a girl advertise in the local rag once, looking for friends with a common interest and I thought it was a great idea. People you can have a good chat with.

My old friend worked at a retail store and when I would shop there, I’d see her…or even when my child outgrew the things sold at her retail store..it was right next door to a Target so if I saw her vehicle there I’d go over to say hi. How does that turn into me stalking someone? It happened like once a month at the most? She was a friend I’d had since 6th grade…sometimes, that was the only way to say hello to her.

I get along great with my coworkers but do not socialize much with them outside of the workplace since I live 45 minutes away from work.

Trust me, if you lived in MY neighborhood, you would see why I don’t get to know my neighbors. There’s meth dealers,druggies, older single men, a 55 yr old married couple. We’ve had to call the cops several times on some of them for having lout parties at 2am. One girl came over to our house to tell us that the other residents in the apt below theirs shot their dog and told us all about how the girl in the apt below hers does pot and other illegal drugs. We even called CPS on them because there are several children in the apt and they also leave a loaded shotgun where a child could get it. I also do not let my child play with them either.

It’s not the nicest neighborhood in town if you know what I mean. I have the nicest house on the block. My husband and I have distanced ourselves from the neigbors, most of whom rent the houses they live in so they don’t stay to long to get to know them anyway, not that I’d want to.

Shevy, you go right on thinking I’m some kind of weird freak.

You criticized my comments to I felt the need to defend myself.

Is anybody else seriously weirded out by Kelly’s comment?

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So, are you saying I’m weird??

I interact with people online…but have no close girlfriends anymore. I guess I outgrew all my other real life friends.

I’m also very close with my mom and sister, so that makes up for the other stuff.

Again, thanks for calling me weird!

This morning, my macroeconomics class was cancelled, so I went to grab breakfast, figuring a nice cup of (Starbucks!!) coffee would go nicely with my book. ($4, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.) Instead, I ended up chatting with a guy who’s in my macro class (He had no idea I’m in it, I guess I hide easy) who was in a class of mine last semester. Just about random stuff, the summer, life, etc. It was rather nice to not spend all the time alone, honestly… If this happens more often, that’s great. Otherwise I’m content to talk to people in class and not see them much elsewhere.

I have people I talk to in class, my coworkers I see at work, duh, and then people that my husband and I hang out with – some guys he works with, but mostly other car people. I consider most friends, even though I only see some every once in a while… I think my own definitions are weird. Either way, I don’t have many close friends simply because people move on a lot in life… No sense in getting super-connected when you seem to fall out of contact no matter what.

Also, am I the only one entertained that most people commenting on a blog post are introverts? :P

Only one RL friend, has lived somewhere for 10 years without making any new ones and seems to have displayed stalking-type behaviors in persisting to contact someone at their workplace via computer and in person when they’ve already “moved on”?

If someone I knew behaved like that I might be tempted to get a restraining order. And, no, I’m neither paranoid nor a social butterfly who doesn’t understand shy people.

I’m introverted, don’t make small talk easily, don’t make tons of friends, or socialize a lot but I interact with all kinds of people at work, at synagogue, online, at my kid’s school, etc.

Not all of them are my best friends but I have countless pleasant interactions every day and could ask some of these folks to join me for coffee or to go to a movie or check out an exhibit I think we’d both enjoy and they wouldn’t run screaming from me.

I just don’t have the energy or the desire to book up big chunks of my spare time to socialize. That doesn’t mean I don’t value my friends. I do like social networking media and phone calls and I regularly help out when folks need something, but I have a busy life with many obligations and limited energy and I know what happens to me when I overbook or overcommit myself.

I’d be a wreck if I had folks over for dinner and board games every week or two but am perfectly happy to play a couple of games online or to have my best friend from my elementary school days come over for a beer or a glass of wine and a game of Scrabble a couple of times a year on long weekends when I’m at my rural place.

I spend a lot of time in my interests and hobbies seeking out others, listening to what they have to say and learning as much as I can. I’m glad to see that you are willing to expand your horizons beyond the normal finance and money saving topics.

However, I have a couple hobbies that allow me social interaction at my own pace. I love boardgames, role-playing games, and miniature games. Small groups, like-minded people, a common interest. Long-term friendships have formed because of my gaming circles. Recently, I went to GenCon (35,000 gamers), and met several people who I post with online. Now, I’ll have a place to crash if I’m ever in Quebec.

Introverts seem to like deeper friendships, and that can mean it is harder to find people you like. Several aquaintences have a hard time discussing topics more in depth than the weather. So, they remain aquaintences.

But when you crave alone time, don’t fill it with social activities. You’ll end up unhappy, and people don’t like hanging around unhappy people. Trust me on this one, I speak from experience. :)

But, at the same time, this hole has opened up the opportunity to pursue other friendships through my hobbies and interests. So, perhaps that’s the hidden blessing – one person exits stage left and while others enter stage right.