Comments on: Review: The Assertiveness Workbook

By: femmeknitzi

femmeknitzi — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:51:46 +0000

Wow. I REALLY need to read this book. Hopping over to Amazon right now!

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:27:46 +0000

I think I will pick up this book. I have had confrontations with the aforementioned extroverted aggressive supervisor in the friends post a few days ago, and the section on constructive confrontation really piqued my curiosity. The constructive criticism section also caught my eye, too. At my work, they changed how we do our reviews and now our peers rate us and we all get to rate our supervisor, too. I have some things to say, but I am working how to say it constructively.

By: bellN

bellN — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:42:02 +0000

Thanks, Kevin for a very clear description of passive-aggressive behavior.
The book sounds interesting. The problem I have with this and most books about behavior – is that I find that most people are completely unaware of how they appear to other people. Even worse than being unaware, there are some folks with a complete disconnect between how they think they appear, and how they really come across. That leaves you with someone trying to improve themselves (by being more assertive, perhaps, or some other type of self-improvement) when that isn’t the real issue causing their problems with people, or at their jobs, or at home or wherever.

By: Katie

Katie — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:50:54 +0000

Thanks for reviewing this book. I never would have picked it up of my own volition, but the ideas really resonate with me. I’ve been having some problems lately and coming to similar realizations myself. It’s nice to hear the ideas I had in the back of my mind articulated nicely from the book and your summary. In the past, I’ve kind of glossed over some of the reviews, but I really am glad I read this one in its entirety!

By: Steve

Steve — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:24:11 +0000

Thanks Trent. This is one of those post that fall into the category of “Things I already know but a reminder never hurts”. It also reminds me that even things we do well can always be improved. Hopefully, this will help me be more mindful of others peoples styles and prevent me from being accidentally offensive. I’m aware I can sometimes be too assertive.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 22:26:46 +0000

Just to clarify: Passive-Aggressive behavior is not “switching” between two extremes (passiveness and aggressiveness). It’s passive behavior which masks negativity while avoiding overt confrontation.

An example: your wife wants you to get a reservation at a restaurant you don’t want to go to. Rather than engage in a conversation about why you don’t want to go to that restaurant, you agree to call for a reservation, but don’t make the call. When that comes to light, you simply say you forgot. This is passive-aggressive behavior.

You are resisting through passiveness, rather than overtly aggressive behavior.