Personally, I’m a pretty quiet person, but I have friends I enjoy, a boyfriend, and am assertive and respected in the workplace. I can lead presentations and groups (and actually sort of enjoy it) and I’m not afraid to try a new activity

But when it comes to small talk and chit chat, I can struggle. I often find myself listening in large groups, not because I’m scared to talk, but because I’m processing what is being said internally. I think before I talk and like to spend a fair amount of time by myself. I like spending time with my friends too, and I love trying new things.

If there are times when being introverted holds me back, I will force myself to exit my comfort zone (ie, making friends in a new city or speaking up at work).

But in general I simply don’t see it as something I need to “overcome” and change. Sometimes I wish extroverts would “overcome” their loud and nature and be a better listeners! As long as I can get myself heard and respected and make social connections that make me happy, what is the problem?

It’s hard to be certain because we probably seldom do anything exactly the same way twice. Sometimes we make changes that are enough to produce a different result, but still too subtle for us to notice.

There are many things that we have to do in life, regardless of our comfort zone or personality. But when you spend your life trying to be what you are NOT, that’s a waste of energy. And perhaps why some who try do not reap any “results” from their efforts.

People need to be OK with who they are and if that means they are more socially shy, so be it.
Everybody doesn’t have to be a social butterfly or MR. or Ms Popularity.

I’m personally happier to co-exist with shy people than the pushy, often aggressive types who are constantly “networking” themselves and totally focused on themselves and their world.

I’m personally shy but able to overcome that when it comes to business (That’s another persona as it were.)because I am focused on doing business (and not on being liked, etc. though that’s always an element).

There are ways for shy people to learn how to feel more comfortable and ways to make it easier to connect.

But you never really succeed in anything in the long run without just being who you are. If you look around the world, it isn’t so much about stretching comfort zones (which, to some extent, you should be doing in certain areas where you want to create change in your life) but about being comfortable in the world, no matter who/how you are.

That’s the real measure of “success.”

And, of course, respecting who others are, just as they are, without judgment.

In scaling the wall, we’ll meet resistance and risk failure; realistically we always have to assess the risk/reward equation here. In many cases it may not be worth the effort.

By staying put and doing nothing we reinforce habit, and that’ll only make it harder the next time we face another wall. In a way, there’s a real risk to doing nothing, and that has to be factored in as well.

Ultimate reality: whether we stay put or advance, life isn’t easy.

I also wouldn’t define a shy person as lazy. A shy person may just need to find something they truly enjoy, then take a risk to become involved.

-Little House

Sorry, very blunt and to the point, but true.

I think laziness is too harsh a word. I think people that are poor, for the most part, simply suffer from one of several things.

1) a lack of motivation.
2) an unwillingness to do something about their finances.
3)a lack of desire to do something.
4) some sort of a victim’s complex.

For years, I was the hardest worker out there, but I was unwilling to fix my finances. Unwilling to do what it takes, and unmotivated to stick with it the millions of times that I tried. This was not laziness. Close, but not really.

Once I got the willingness, motivation and deisre, everythnig else fell into place.

Additionally, no one is talking about “changing” who you are and what you prefer. Rather you are looking at changing “what” you can do. I may be introverted, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give a great and entertaining talk on a subject. I may “prefer” to have that talk in an intimate setting with close associates, but with practice I can give it to hundreds of folks in a large auditorium, and while I may find that emotionally draining, it may be more fulfilling in the long run to me to have touched many more folks. Additionally I may be an extravert and prefer to let someone else do the paperwork after I close the deal, but I’ve learned that that’s where I make the real money to put food on the table, so either I do it myself or I closely review it even if I don’t “like” it.

IMHO it just seems that it’s easier for extroverts to master enough of the skills they need to get ahead than it is for introverts, because we are social animals at our cores and the extreme extrovert is being social, while the extreme introvert avoids it. But even given that, to be successful an extrovert still needs to step out of their comfort zones as well as an introvert.

Sound kinda silly? That’s because it is.

I’m an introvert. I could spend the entire weekend not talking to my wife, doing lawn work or fishing, or even cooking. Does anyone thing that will be a good thing for a marriage?

I’m an introvert, but I enjoy teaching. I’ve taught dance, I’ve led training classes at my employer, I volunteer for hard assignments. None of these change who I am. I’m still an introvert. But guess what? I have a skill my employer knows about (trainer). Was it easy for me to try that route the first time? Nope, but it turned out I was good at it. And after expending all that energy, I go home and enjoy quiet time.

Personal development doesn’t happen without exercising your personality a bit. Am I ever going to run a marathon? Nope. Am I ever going to be hosting a cocktail party for my coworkers? Nope. Can I stay reasonably fit? Yep. Can I challenge my introvert nature by discovering I actually enjoy some aspects of socializing? Yep.