Comments on: Some Thoughts on Moods and Spending

By: Lee

Lee — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:14:05 +0000

Are you going to return the game? I would like to hear a follow-up post on whether you decide to keep it or not, and what was behind your choice. When I make mistakes like that, returning the “excess” item is a humbling (read: humiliating) gesture that further pounds it into my skull.

By: jreed

jreed — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:24:11 +0000

I’m with Lindsay # 26…take it back and don’t give it another thought. Honestly, you need to volunteer for a charity…you have too much time on your hands if this is a big deal to you. Or, have the kids stay out of daycare more.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:35:46 +0000

I finally figured this out for myself about a year ago. So now when I feel that bored, sad, restless feeling and want to buy something, I remind myself that buying the thing will not make me happier, just more broke, and I should take the time to think through what is making me sad. My bank account is doing a lot better as a result!

By: Holly

Holly — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:44:35 +0000

This is an insightful post – and timely and pertinent for me too. I work alone at home and sometimes feel isolated and bored. It’s easy to slip into reading blogs – which can be a time-waster…or worse, start shopping online for things we “need” which wastes time AND money. I find it helpful to set little goals and boundaries. For example, I allow myself to read your blog and another I like – but not anything else until I’m done working. Or, I have to work until 4:40 and then I’m free to read whatever I want til 5. The social outlets are important – mine is a little group of women I know and interact with professionally. We’re all photographers on the side and we get together to talk shop and just hang out.
I think your point about spending to feel better being better handled by addressing what’s got us down is such a good one. Thanks for the window into your head.

By: friend

friend — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:20:27 +0000

Trent, here’s another idea for getting out of the house/being with people a time or two a week. See if your community has an adult literacy program. It can be very rewarding to help someone gain basic reading or math skills. You will feel very appreciated, you’ll have some scheduled time in your week, and you’ll also gain new perspective on lives that are different from your own.

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:31:01 +0000

Trent,

Great post! Sorry you are feeling lonely when your family isn’t around. I agree with the other posters about doing volunteer work or joining a club etc.

Don’t beat yourself up about buying that game. It’s just a small misstep on your way to your financial goals. You have to treat yourself sometimes. It’s not like you bought a new car or ran up a bunch of debt on your credit cards. Forgive yourself and move on.

By: tentaculistic

tentaculistic — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:38:09 +0000

Yeah, I’m an emotional spender as well. Rough day at work or home, I go out and go clothes shopping. I always have a hard time finding clothes that fit (super tall, plus sized) so it’s a never-ending battle, but I don’t ever really want to do it except when I’m feeling sad. Plus I’m having a hard time now in my marriage and after years of never buying DVDs, I have bought about $200 worth of DVDs over the past month. Yoiks!

One thing I do when I feel really alone at home and have work to do is to pick up my laptop and go to Starbucks. I know you struggle with not picking back up a coffee-shop habit, but for $4 it might be worth the human company. Or $2 if you get tea. :)

In all though, I think you have really put your thumb on something a lot of us do. Thanks for sharing with us your struggles, we’re with you!

By: Bavaria

Bavaria — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:50:13 +0000

Thank you for being open about your struggles–I can identify with you on the ‘fall thing’. My old habits were not working, so I developed a few new ones that are healthy for me. Taking a walk, doing some yoga stretches, volunteering at the library, organizing and cleaning the house, making a call to friends who live far away, etc. When those moody feelings come along, it’s good to have a plan.

By: Craig

Craig — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:41:36 +0000

I tend to spend more in the summer as well more so on activities and things like happy hour than actual items. The seasonality play does have a factor on my spending.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:55:42 +0000

So, return the game already (if it really bugs you that much)!

By: Pattie, RN

Pattie, RN — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:04:59 +0000

Great post, Trent. I have experienced the opposite, especialy when my kids were at home. I loathe the heat and humidity of summer, and will go to my grave on an academic schedule that says the first day of fall semester is the first day of the New Year!

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:43:47 +0000

This is a little off the point of the article but as a fellow board game player/addict I was curious as to what game you purchased? There are a few new ones out there that I am trying really hard to keep my hands off of.

Thanks

By: Kenny

Kenny — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:38:06 +0000

Yes, but if Scribblenauts was the game you bought, I am sure you’ll get your money’s worth!

By: Nancy

Nancy — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:29:39 +0000

Go down to the animal shelter and adopt (or borrow) a dog. You need company.

By: Carol

Carol — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:24:14 +0000

I think the shorter days has something to do with this as well. I find myself feeling a little down also. Then I met an old friend for lunch and as was our previous habit (pre-frugality) do a little shopping for recreation. Found myself purchasing something utterly ridiculous. Thankfully I was able to return said item a few days later and get a grip. I guess the real problem is having a fun afternoon with a friend, but somehow this old friend isn’t fitting into my new lifestyle.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:47:33 +0000

I agree with the other posters…you should get out a few times a week to be with other people. It’s so very important. What about a yoga or tai chi class, or another fitness class or group activity? You don’t have to join a gym for any of those. Budddhist temples often have free group meditations & talks if you’re into that sort of thing. Good luck!

By: Steffie

Steffie — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:04:46 +0000

So you fell off the wagon, but the good thing is you realize why you did it. As with any habit changes you are not going to be perfect all of the time. Ask anyone with an addiction like alchohol or drugs, it doesn’t always stick the first time and slip ups happen. Try to find something to do that will give you the chance to have some time for yourself to recharge. September thru March in cold climates are rough for anyone, especially those who enjoy the summer time activities. Interaction with ‘grown ups’ that are not family might help. And you might get ideas for future posts so its a double benefit!

By: reulte

reulte — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:29:02 +0000

Hmmm, kind of reminds me of The Feminine Mystique (the whole “I buy, therefore I am” symptom of the 50′s housewife). Might want to skim through it when you’re at the library one day.

By: Caroline

Caroline — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:24:26 +0000

I think I spend most money when I’m feeling lazy (like when I don’t want to cook). Sad doesn’t make me spend or eat. I wonder why some of us are wired to consume more (money / food) when sad, while some consume more when happy.

By: Ryo Vie

Ryo Vie — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:54:38 +0000

Great post, Trent!

I tend to have this problem with CDs (instead of games). Every time I feel depressed or down (which is a lot in September and October), I get the urge to run to Best Buy or another CD store and buy new music.

Thanks to articles like this one, I am (mostly) able to stop myself.