Comments on: Never Eat Alone: Find Mentors, Find Mentees, Repeat

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:30:01 +0000

Long-term apprenticeships that were beneficial to both parties have devolved into short-term internships that are largely a way to exploit cheap or free student labor.

(Not all of them, of course. Just lots of them.)

By: David/Yourfinances101

David/Yourfinances101 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:09:36 +0000

The think that this point highlights two basic premises in life that it never hurts to hear every once in a while–

–we don’t know it all, no matter how much we like to think so.

–we can ALWAYS learn from other people.

I have several people in my life I would consider mentors, and, I am always looking for more!

By: kristine

kristine — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:28:50 +0000

This advice sounds most suited to the self-employed. But no matter where you work, unless your values and interests are mainstream, you are likely to click with few fellow workers. Unless, of course, you are lucky enough to find a job in some specialized niche, like the happy employees of most lesbian run restaurants and bookstores I have ever visited. Or PF bloggers?

It is very hard to invest emotionally in relationships where the primary source contact can be wiped out at any time without notice. I have also found that in a large company, being socially close to only a few other employees (especially subordinates) can create countless awkward situations and jealousies. It’s just not worth the agida.

I find the balance by trying to work someplace with pleasant people with good character, yet keep my personal life very private. But once I leave a job, I feel free to keep in contact and possibly even deepen a friendship with former co-workers, as it now free of complications.

I like the boundaries- I cannot state why, but I feel keeping them protects my family. I will ruminate further and try to figure out why. I do not feel this way about my husbands co-workers, some of our closest friends are his work buddies. But academia is a unique scenario as tenure and specialty area obliterates competition and transience.

By: kat

kat — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:28:37 +0000

I am not Christian don’t care about sports and most TV shows leave me cold. My office coworkers on Mondays discussed Sunday services, football and Dancing with the Stars. The idea of spending any time with them in a social setting was terrifying. I work temp jobs in the off season now, and travel to several large Ren Faires for the rest of the year, and those coworkers are grea to spend time with. Sometimes though, you are stuck in a situation with people you have nothing in common with but the job.

By: Liz

Liz — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:08:46 +0000

I’ve always struggled with this “balance” idea. With 3 kids , single parenting, a high demand career, caretaking elderly parents, and a long commute, I have never, ever felt balanced. In fact, the only way I ever felt even close was when I compartmentalized my life so I could concentrate on one thing at a time.

I have always been taught to avoid socializing with subordinates, and have never really wanted to socialize with my work peer group. My life was very different than theirs. Actually, when I think about it, if I had lived closer to my work, I might have socialized around my kids activities, and blended that with my colleagues at times. That might be what is refered to as part of the balance.

I wonder if this concept of “balance” may be different depending on age, gender, and timing? I have always been so busy with the “second shift” that balance was relative.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:48:29 +0000

Hi Trent

This entry came at the right time. I am thinking about my work situation, and the sections from “The Myth of Work-Life Balance” onwards really describes how I feel right now.

Spending time with people I like is really important and I feel that sometimes certain work situations changes the dynamics of the relationships you may have with peers, and it’s not always easy to maintain the same relationship.

I will try to get a copy of this book in the library :)

Thanks!

By: Kristen

Kristen — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:47:15 +0000

Hi Trent

This entry came at the right time. I am thinking about my work situation, and the sections from “The Myth of Work-Life Balance” onwards really describes how I feel right now.

I will try to get a copy of this book in the library :)

Thanks!

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:24:42 +0000

Good Morning Trent.

Love the blog.
I have noticed a big increase in “professional” mentors – especially in my home town of Melbourne, Australia.
Many are charging anywhere from A$1000 to A$10,000 for their time and guidance.
Im very interested to hear your thoughts/opinion on a mentor charging money for their time in mentoring someone?

By: Rosa

Rosa — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:47:56 +0000

The idea that your work life and your home life should be seamless is really limiting for people who are different religiously, or are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, or who have other home values their professional peers may not approve of – look at the backlash you got on choosing cloth rags over paper towels. Imaging your coworkers judging you professionally based on your parenting when you aren’t just like them.

I can work just fine with people I like and admire who I don’t agree with politically…as long as we keep politics out of it. And the best way to do that is to keep that professional distance. That’s true for a lot of things in life.

By: the Dad

the Dad — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:45:24 +0000

OH NO! I fear I was one of those who wrote you asking to look at my blog. Your input was invaluable, though, and much appreciated, Trent.

Cheers, mentor. :)

the Dad