On the other hand, other shower gifts I received included things like sheets, towels, and curtains. These are things that, in my opinion, the condition can deteriorate more quickly and it is nice to receive these things in new condition. If it is being received as a gift, I hope the person would get a new set of sheets, or re-gift something that had never been used, rather than giving old ones.

I agree with the person who said there is a difference between re-gifting and hand-me-downs, the big difference is not trying to pass it off as brand new. There is nothing wrong with sharing, if someone else needs or could use the item. But it does not always have to come with the pretense that it was never used. As long as you are clear with your intentions (such as, I don’t use these anymore, and wondered if you might have a use for them), the person will probably be grateful for the item.

There are two reasons for giving gifts: love or obligation. Gifts of love go to people we know well enough to be casual and candid. If it’s a regift we can say so, but we probably put more thought, money or effort into it than we would for an acquaintance. Gifts of obligation often arise from formal occasions like weddings or workplace exchanges. This is prime time for regifting because an impersonal item that didn’t fit our lifestyle may be perfect for someone we know little about.

I think it’s important that regifts be clean regardless of recipient. Original packaging and a never-used appearance are essential for obgligatory occasions. I shy away from gift cards because of the hidden fees and expiration dates, and I don’t like giving cash either because it makes “this is what you’re worth to me” so crassly obvious.

The most important thing to remember is that gifts are never to be expected and always to be appreciated–unless there is some obvious and intended insult. I have yet to receive a “thank you” from a wedding I attended this summer, so I won’t be giving the couple or their children any more gifts. It is far worse to be rude or ungrateful than to give the tackiest present.

I would think that the onus would be on the store to not automatically put a returned item back in stock (especially one that had obviously been opened – for goodness’ sake, take it out and look at it!).

As a vegetarian who keeps kosher, I can understand your concern. You say “So *please* folks, don’t use something and then return it to the store.” But what if I used something and it didn’t work properly? I wouldn’t hesitate to return it to the store. The store should be responsible for examining returned items (not that stores necessarily are…but that’s not the shopper’s fault!).

That’s quite a stretch,no? Especially since any item which comes in contact with food is/should be washed before first use.

#25 Ashley-You found four Wagner skillets for $5? I’m soooo jealous! You have one lucky brother.

#48 Emily about Gift cards – I get them for people who I’d like to give money to, but know they would spend it for things they need when I really want them to get something frivolous!

I dunno, don’t you think there’s the possibility that the person might better appreciate what they need than something frivolous? True, a gift is a gift but if the person really has a need (groceries, gas for the car, utility bills), is it a kindness to get them iTunes? One common consensus here is to give (new or regift) with the individual’s preferences in mind. I would think if you’re close enough to give a gift at all, you’re close enough to give a gift they’d truly appreciate and if you KNOW they’d buy something they need, why force them into something frivolous? I think that’s how we end up with regifts in the first place-the giving of something the recipient can’t or won’t use.

Love the references to Henry. Maybe ‘pulling a Henry’ will become a new TSD shorthand.

You see, the people who give me gifts give NO thought whatsoever into buying me something. Otherwise, why would you give someone who wears a size XS an XL sweatsuit set? A lobster cooking/seasoning kit when they’re allergic to lobster? Stuffed animals and knicknacks when they’ve seen your home and know you DON’T collect these things?

I sound ungrateful. I’m not. I hate waste. Waste of their money, waste of my time.

Hey, wait a minute – maybe I’m the recipient of regifts!!!

Have you considered that you are allowing advertising and marketing firms to form your opinions for you? That it hasn’t been until the last 40 years that most gifts weren’t necessarily new (they were usually hand made and/or remodeled/repaired re-gifted items) and . . .

That by NOT re-gifting you are conforming to consumerism, waste and landfill/environmental issues.

I find it funny that many of the same “you are an idiot if you re-gift” are also the ones that think that anyone using anything but a bike or hybrid is a drain on our natural resources. What hypocrites.

Better yet, I like getting together for a meal, movie, etc. Spending time with loved ones is nice.

Ye Gods, people, if someone thinks enough of you to give you a gift, be appreciative and grateful. The dishes from a deceased friend are a tribute to you: the person who gave them treasured the deceased friend and you both enough to share the old memories of meals with her friend with future memories of new meals with you.

And why think evil of regifting? If you find gift cards from previous donations in your gift, I think it is funny. Why assume that the dirty pannini press was used by the donor and start thinking negative thoughts about them instead of assuming that Henry pulled his stunt of using something and returning it in a new box to the store? If you think so negatively of gifts, I hate to think how unhappy you must be in your everyday life.

About gifting, it seems to me that it’s a sad state when there are “rules” about gift giving. Gifts are things we give other people because we care about them, are thinking of them and believe it to be something they like. It seems rather selfish to assume the motivation of someone behind the gift.

If you are fortunate enough to have people in your lives that care about you and want good things for you and want to be there for special events in your life, then the gift is just extra bonus. Be thankful. There are alot of people who would love to be in your shoes.

(though I would agree that things ought to be clean, of course. And that it’s totally possible it was the store the aunt bought that gift at that passed off the dirty panini press as new.)

My daughter (eldest- 10 yrs old) LOVES American Girl dolls. She knows that no way in the world are we able to afford $110 per doll- but she knows I plan ahead and get great eBay sales (under $40!) in the summer when no one else is looking. She is more than happy- ecstatic usually- on Christmas when she opens the box and gets a used doll. Sometimes I need to rewig and often I will need to sew nice clothes from my sewing scraps. This means more to her than any $110 doll would.

My in laws are completely on board with us in this quest. They actually were the ones who also came up with making cloth gift bags for family giving- to stop wrapping paper waste too.

My sister and her family- not so much. She and her husband work 4 jobs between them to keep their one son in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. They go to Disney and on big trips like you or I would go to the corner store. Yet they con’t seem to grasp why my family of 6 on one income can’t live the same life they do…

Two months later on Christmas Day, I’m opening a gift from her and it’s the same book. Not just another copy of that book, but the exact same book. And she even admitted that it was the very same book I had given her for her birthday. I was horribly offended. I would much rather her have taken the book back and picked out a different one. It was her birthday gift after all.

I guess my point is that if someone gives you a gift that you don’t need or want and you are able to return it – why not return it and get something you do need and/or want? As a gift giver I would much rather the person do that than regift the item to someone else.

And if you are going to regift something, do not give it back to the person who gave it to you!