Quick comment about the “three-month rule” to anyone who has read down this far: It is much easier to bear losing a child during pregnancy if you have told family and friends ahead of time. We tried for three years to conceive, and when we finally did, we were so excited and told everyone. When we lost that baby in a miscarriage, it was hard to tell people, but it was much better than suffering silently. This way we had the joy of sharing our news for the short time we were able rather than only having the sorrowful announcement. Just some food for thought….

And congratulations on child #3!

My husband wanted #1 & me not so much. I had #1 and #2 and decided I was a good mother. Asked my husband for a chance to try for 2 more. He wasn’t on to that regimen, so they didn’t come. Would you actually believe that, since he said if we accidentally got pregnant we would love it, that friends told me to “accidentally forget my b/c?” As with you and Sarah, having babies is a joint decision. I would never do something like that to someone I loved.

All children seem to be different within the same family, so enjoy the changes and differences. But I did read somewhere that no 2 children grow up in the same family. Each child added changes the dynamic of the family & it is no longer the “same.” Good luck and my prayers.

As to the article on separation, the whole tone of the article made me queasy. It seemes to me he’s definitely getting everything he wants and I doubt that the situation is as rosy as he paints it for his wife and children. He just seems really scummy.

As for the separation article–sounds like one confused dude to me. He “doth protest too much, methinks.”

With respect to the article about separation, I have to say that the author of it is really a little out-to-lunch. First, when you put polamory into a marriage you are giving each other permision to have emotional affairs with other people. Affairs will always break a marriage, no matter how open. Second if he thinks for one second that the children are not having issues with it, he is a fool because children internalize a lot of hurts and it comes out later in negative ways many times. If they love each other so much maybe they need to spend a little less time on emotional affairs and start spending time on their own marriage and divorce and separation would not even be a part of the equation. Divorce is not the end all, be all, it is for when being married becomes destructive not the easy out it has become.