Or- you could BE that person, instead of trying to make one. You could stay childless and devote your life to finding the cure for cancer, instead of doing it once removed. Or you could be a sociopath, instead of raising one. Ironically, things like a cure for cancer require an almost fanatical dedication to the task that might not make one a very good parent.

Side note- once your kids are in elementary school- their teacher will spend more devoted waking hours with them than most parents do.

BNW = Breeder Not Writer

Trent, I hope we do not have to hear your complaints about financial difficulties resulting from your decision to replicate.

On second thought, I hope we hear a lot of them.

He was responding not to somebody who had chosen not to have children, nor to somebody who couldn’t have children, but to somebody who was suggesting that because he had committed the error of having children, he was hypocritical to write a blog giving advice to others.

Frankly, if you suggested to most parents that their entire way of life was invalidated because they had children, (not just by making a general statement that the world is overpopulated, but by singling out an individual) they would respond in the same way.

Trent, you’ve obviously run out of relevant financial material that others would be interested in. Maybe you should take a day and not write, just as maybe we should all declare a Trent-Free day and boycott you.

That being said, having considered it for a couple days, I’ll be getting financial tips elsewhere on the interwebs. A bit too smug and condescending around these parts.

That’s right! I’ve drawn my moral line in the sand! Over a blog post!

See, I’m an idiot, but at least I know it. Unlike the more assured and certain of opinion among us.

“…the worst are full of passionate intensity” indeed.

You remind me of one of my good college friends. He was pretty much the nicest guy I’ve met, but if you got into any sort of debate with him, he’d go at any angle to “win” and “be right”, even if it wasn’t completely logical. Because he enjoyed it. It annoyed me, but maybe because I like to be right as well, and he was good at it, and could argue his way to victory at the expense of belittling others perspectives, even when he wasn’t right. (Why were we friends? He genuinely was a nice and fun guy in most cases.) You ignored most logical points and picked at those which were weak.

PS – I’m not saying your original message was illogical, it’s just your rebuttal style.

Congrats on book #2!

So, thanks for that.

I may cancel my subscription tomorrow if I wake up still mad.

:o(

Of course they pass along a lot to a child. I never, ever claimed that non-parents pass along nothing to children. They pass along a lot to children. PLEASE stop putting words/ideas in my mouth.

Please see comment #167.

“I do not begrudge anyone making the choice not to have children. If that has been taken in any way from my comments, I apologize, because that’s not what I meant.”

My mistake was writing this mailbag in the middle of the night after submitting my manuscript so that you would all have something to read in the morning. It was my mistake – I was exhausted and I didn’t word what I was trying to say well. I don’t think my actual meaning was controversial at all. I was merely saying that by passing on genes and investing huge amounts of time in their children, parents have an enormous impact on how they turn out, one that isn’t replicated by the actions of non-parents, since they can’t spend such intense time or pass on their genes.

I suspect Valleta’s comment brought out your worst because it struck too close to home. Perhaps you are projecting some of your feelings (joy, fear, pride, ambivalence, delight?) about having another child or trying to convince yourself you’re up to the challenge. There’s nothing wrong with that, only please try to respect others’ decisions and viewpoints too.

I have every confidence you will bring this baby up with love and logic because you often reveal what a considerate father you are. I am also certain I would be a terrible mother because kids drive me crazy, even in restaurants. Both of us are torch bearers trying to shine a little light in this world. You do it by blogging and raising young’uns while I spew out an occasional poem and focus on my friends and family of origin. Different strokes, different folks, same vision.

Why don’t you take this topic that went sour and make some lemonade? Perhaps a cost-benefit analysis of things bought during the pregnancy versus a glimpse into your journal and how kids enrich your life. Maybe a lighthearted guide to shopping for maternity clothes, craved foods, diapers or educational tools. (Apparently “Baby Einstein” isn’t a smart investment.) Many of your readers would find benefits for their families in such articles, and I never mind skimming anything your write for tips I can use or pass along.

Lastly I’m going to suggest something with absolute care and zero judgment. Please hop onto eBay and look for “light therapy” or “full spectrum lighting” products, or take in the sun for a few minutes a day. It’s November, daylight is waning, and you’ve mentioned before that you’re prone to the winter blahs. A half hour or less of UV-light per day can significantly improve mood and boost energy. Your body needs sunlight to process Vitamin D, so think of it as a drink of milk for your skin. Perhaps your wife would enjoy an endorphin rush too.

I am not familiar with the movie Billy Madison so the joke was lost on me:)

Peace out.