Comments on: The Stumble

By: Kevin@OutOfYourRut

Kevin@OutOfYourRut — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:30:05 +0000

I think it’s the humaness in all of us with each of these breakdowns. They’re inevitable because we aren’t perfect! The cause isn’t always something wrong inside–we live in a world that’s constantly, relentlessly pulling us in other directions, many of them “easy” or otherwise enticing.

The solution is having the ability to get back up and get on track after falling off. The discipline part isn’t necessarily avoiding distraction, but the ability to correct our course. Distractions are bound to happen, and sometimes we’ll fall into them–all it takes is the right (or wrong)combination of circumstances…then we need to get back up.

Very insightful post, and follow up comments!

By: John S

John S — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:58:52 +0000

Great post, Trent; this really resonates with me. I suspect that such cyclical behaviour is nearly universal. We all recognize room for improvement in our lives, and we all have bad habits that impede this change. It’s part of the human condition.

By: Bavaria

Bavaria — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:00:07 +0000

Every moment is a new start.

By: Angela

Angela — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:38:34 +0000

How you think about the stumble is important too. You touched on this under Self-destructiveness. If you feel like you have completely failed and you can’t do anything right and you’ll never meet your goal… then chances are that you won’t succeed. But if you recognize a stumble as just a stumble, a temporary fixable setback, then it’s possible to move forward and get back on track.

I just finished the book ‘Learned Optimism’ by Martin Seligman. It outlines the benefits of optimism for success and provides tools for moving from pessimistic thinking to optimistic thinking. It’s a good read and could have implications in financial decision-making and management.

By: Russ

Russ — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:56:28 +0000

I think all four of these points collapse down into one basic underlying principle – you have to change your habits. An example often mentioned on this blog is changing your route to work to avoid the coffee-house/bookshop. When you stumble, identify the habit that lead to it, and work to change it.

Long walks were also a feature of my summer, and I stuck to it by making it a habit to get off the train 4 miles away from my destination. I’ve recently cut down my beer consumption by noticing that I most often bought beer when stopping off at the supermarket on the way home in the evening – now I make sure I go shopping on a Sunday morning (when beer isn’t an impulse buy) and never pop in on the way home any more. I few years ago I lost a ton of weight by following a well-planned fortnightly eating routine, and the weight stayed off until I moved house and broke the routine.

The easiest way to habitualise your behaviour is to fit it in with your normal day. In order to walk, I don’t need to change my route, I just need to get off the train early.

By: K

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:31:44 +0000

I like what others above said – it seems to echo my own feelings that a stumble doesn’t necessarily reveal a fatal flaw – it just reveals that we are human and need to be flexible and adjust our plans.

I really like the Kaizen philosophy for making big behavioral changes. The idea is that you make a small change first, and focus on that one change. After you have achieved success focusing on that small area, you can add another small change, and another. The success breeds positive energy that rolls right into additional change.

By: John DeFlumeri Jr

John DeFlumeri Jr — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:36:34 +0000

Stumbling and stumbling to finally get things right.

By: Marsha

Marsha — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:38:03 +0000

I agree that better planning and preparation can help avoid stumbling, but I disagree that a stumble means there was a “fatal flaw” in the plan. We are human beings and by definition we are not perfect. Hence, we stumble.

Besides, chaos theory (as I understand it) means that we are always drifting from organization to disorganization…and vice versa.

By: chacha1

chacha1 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:27:24 +0000

I think the only real “fatal flaw” is inflexibility. If we make a plan that is so rigid that any stumble shatters it, it may not be due to time management, temptation, false commitment, or self-destructiveness; it may just be due to our inability to see other ways to accomplish the goal.

For example, if a daily hourlong walk is a value, rather than abandon the walk, adjust the plan so that other daily priorities can be combined with it. (For Example, need to meet a words-per-day goal + need to spend time with baby): Strap on the baby, pick up the digital voice recorded, and compose out loud while you walk. Obviously this is a grossly simplified example but, you know.

Tunnel vision about our plans means we don’t see all the other routes we could take. As long as our plans are flexible, we can adjust variables (including timelines) and still move forward.

By: Des

Des — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:57:08 +0000

I don’t think this is always caused by a “fatal flaw” in planning. Sometimes, priorities change. I used to go running every day. I made it a priority because it was important to me. Then, things got busy at work and I had to make a choice. I could either lose my job, spend even less time with my family, or run less. Running was at the bottom of the list. It was a priority when my choice was between running or TV, but when circumstances changed, my “plan” had to adapt.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:26:41 +0000

I think sometimes our big life changing plans are unrealistic. Maybe if the diet change did not go all the way to a really restrictive plan from the start, it would be an easier change to make. “I will only eat that one time a month” seems easier to take than “I will never eat that again”. The same seems true for money spending as well- it seems unrealistic to expect to go from overspending rampantly to a strict budget with no room for wiggle overnight. I think once we see that we can make the first change, more will follow.

By: Stephan F-

Stephan F- — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:00:47 +0000

Got to keep remembering that. Wanting to change and changing are different and take time to develop new habits. And it doesn’t help reading stories of people who did do massive personal change quickly. The reason they are stories is because they are unusual. Why aren’t there good stories who change over time?

By: Dianne

Dianne — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:47:32 +0000

Been there, done that plenty times. You’re correct – a stumble is not a failure. I’ve learned to recognize them as opportunities to listen to what’s really going on inside me. Sometimes one of the four weaknesses you noted above stands out. Sometimes it’s something I think is unrelated but is affecting my efforts in other areas. Gentle listening and noticing is a gift we can give ourselves in these instances. No plan is ever going to be perfect but if we can accept these stumblings as learning opportunities, they will not be wasted.